Maude lay on one of the surprisingly comfortable beds in the doctor's surgery, that her son had funded with his inheritance, contemplating what she would say to him. Doctor Fletcher had asked if she wanted to see anyone before the surgery and she'd requested Ezra's company. Despite feeling a lot better since the shot of morphine had kicked in, she was still far from confident that she would make it through surgery and she wanted any last moments to be with her darlin' boy.
"Mother?"
Maude smiled as she heard her son's dulcet tones and felt him lift her cold hand into his own, warming it by gentle rubbing. Hands that had once been smooth and soft, now had calluses from handling guns and lord only knew what other menial labour these men had enticed her boy to perform. Mind you, they couldn't come up with anything more onerous than his duties whilst at that dreadful institution of pain and suffering he called a hospital. Her mind shied away from the memories of his little hands when she'd collected him from certain carers who's used him cruelly. The only way she'd coped was to pretend it never happened and encourage him to pretend as well. A soundless sigh left her lips as she thought of past; she'd had such plans for her son but none had seen fruition.
Watching his mother's face, he found it hard to reconcile the worn, lined, paper-white face with the beautiful, animated face of his vivacious Maude. Even her hands, fragile and cold, were like those of someone else; so still when they normally never ceased to move. Without her finery, lying under the sheet in just a nightdress, Maude was barely a lump in the bed. A hot tear rolled down his face as he bit his lip against the sobs that threatened.
Feeling the wetness on her wrist, Maude struggled to open her eyes and look at her boy. Such a handsome man he'd become, with his chestnut curls, jade green eyes and classically handsome face. Just like his father, with the flashing smile and charming dimples. Even after all this time, the ache in her heart at the loss of the love of her life flared hot and sharp when she thought of him.
"My darlin' boy," whispered Maude, clasping his fingers, "Thank you for coming. I know I haven't earned your devotion…"
"Hush now, Mother, none of that, not now," urged Ezra, his voice breaking.
"No, listen to your mothah. I just have one thing I must tell you before your Doctor friend and Nathan do their best…" pausing, Maude licked her lips nervously before looking straight into the large, liquid green eyes of her son, "I love you. I know I haven't been very good at showing it, but I do love you, Ezra. I always have and I always will. If you only believe one thing I've ever told you, believe that."
Blinking, Ezra sucked in a breath as he searched Maude's eyes for any trace of deceit but found none. Releasing the breath in a long quivering sigh, he lifted the slender hand in his to his lips and kissed it gently. Tears rained from his eyes unnoticed as he cleared his throat and murmured, "I love you too, Mamma."
"Gracious, you haven't called me that since you were an itty bitty baby boy," sighed Maude, content that she had made her peace with her child. Now she could face the next challenge with a clear mind. Feeling herself slipping away again, she mumbled, "I'll be alright, darlin'. Takes more than this to kill a Standish. Now dry your eyes and show your Mother your pretty dimples."
Shaking his head ruefully, Ezra nonetheless used his sleeve to wipe away the signs of his distress and pasted a bright smile on his face for his mother. Neither of them wanted their last sight to be of tears.
"That's mah boy," cheered Maude, smiling softly and squeezing Ezra's hand.
"Ez, we're ready to take her in now," interrupted Nathan, standing in the doorway awkwardly, wishing he didn't have to disturb this healing moment between the gambler and his whirlwind mother, but knowing that time was of the essence.
Nodding, the southerner stood and bent to kiss Maude's forehead, causing a faint smile to lift her lips. Walking past Nathan, he squeezed his friend's arm and kept going, nodding at Archie's hearty encouragement and giving a solemn two fingered salute to a pale yet resolved Byron. Entering the waiting room again, he turned to carefully close the door before standing with his forehead leaning against it. Hearing the soft sound of fabric rustling, he looked over his shoulder at the anxious faces of Chris, Josiah, Vin and Buck. Noting JD's absence, he vaguely remembered that the boy had morning patrol.
Buck had wandered all over town trying to find the others and finally found them gathered in the new Doc's waiting room. Rushing in, he'd demanded to know who was hurt and why he hadn't been told. Upon learning that it was Maude, he'd immediately joined his brothers in their vigil, knowing that Ezra would need the support of them all. The woman was akin to a smiling 'gator, but she was Ez's Ma and he loved her, so losing her would be devastating. His blue eyes filled with tears as he remembered his own sainted Ma's passing. Yessir, ole Ez was going to need his real family.
Vin had perched on the windowsill, focussed inward despite his seemingly studious gaze directed towards the street. Worried for his brother, he stroked the fur of his pet continuously, smiling a little when Baker would lick his fingers lightly whenever they were in reach. Every now and then he'd glance towards the door to the surgery, wondering how Ezra was doing and what Maude was saying to him. Remembering how much it still hurt to think of losing his Ma and how much strength he's always found in her last words to him, he hoped that Maude could overcome her natural nastiness and give Ezra something tender to hold onto should the worst occur.
Chris sprawled on the seat closest to the door, scowling at the tips of his boots. Maude had better not be abusing Ezra or, sick or not, he'd be having words with the woman. Fleeting looks towards the others monitored their emotional states, judging them to be as worried as himself about Ezra and both Vin and Buck looked like they were remembering their own mother's deaths. Heaving a silent sigh, Chris scowled back down at his boots as he remembered that he had yet to ask the gambler about whether he thought it prudent to reinitiate contact with his mother and sisters. Remembering the soft way that his mother would look down at him as a child when he stood before her and how her hand sifted carefully through his tousled, windswept hair, made the gunslinger's throat tighten and his eyes sting.
Josiah sat next to Chris, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped in front of him. Head bowed, he prayed for the health of Maude and the peace of his son. Lifting his head briefly to survey the sorrowful looks on the faces of the other three, Josiah lowered his head and began a new prayer for the peace of all his brothers.
Buck perched on the examination bed and stared at the painting on the far wall. It showed a riverboat steaming down a wide, brown river that he imagined to be the Mississippi. Looking closely, he could just make out the people on the deck, strolling around and enjoying the breeze. One small boy had cast a line from where he sat at the stern of the boat. It was a beautiful picture, with vivid colours that made it appear so alive that Buck could almost hear the music from the band playing at the bow, so that people could dance on the deck. Marvelling at the talent needed to produce such a work of art, Buck found himself smiling and feeling tendrils of wanderlust work their way into his soul. He'd never been on a riverboat. Hell, he'd never been on any sort of boat.
When Ezra emerged, all four heads snapped up to stare at him assessingly, noting the fresh tear tracks and fretful droop to his mouth. Josiah stood and walked slowly to where Ezra slumped against the door, coming to a stop in front of him. Lifting a hand to brush away a tear, the big man was surprised when Ezra grabbed hold of the lapels of his coat with both hands and leaned into his chest, resting his forehead wearily on the broad shoulder in front of him.
Without hesitation, Josiah brought his arms up to engulf the distraught man in a fatherly hug. Pressing his lips lightly to the gleaming chestnut curls that hadn't been tamed that morning, he hugged tighter in response to the muffled sob.
Chris glanced over as Vin ghosted from the window to lean against him. Putting an arm around the slender man, Chris gave the buckskin clad shoulder a squeeze, unsurprised to feel the weight increase as Vin leaned against him harder. Raising an eyebrow, he waited on Buck to decide which younger brother he was going to comfort and wasn't all that surprised when it was Ezra. Watching his oldest friend glide over to where the gambler stood sheltering in Josiah's arms, he asked with a gentleness that few knew him to possess, "Did you get to speak to Maude, Ez?"
Trying to maintain control was proving difficult for the southerner as he heaved in deep breaths and clenched and unclenched his hands in the rough material of Josiah's coat. Not trusting his voice, Ezra nodded.
"Did she…was she… uh…" floundered Chris, trying to think of a tactful way of asking if it went well. Deciding that Ezra was right when he said that none of his brothers had an ounce of diplomacy, Chris resorted to his normal route and growled, "Did she upset ya?"
Hiccoughing a laugh, Ezra pushed away from Josiah reluctantly and faced Chris with a watery smile. Fishing around in his pocket for a handkerchief, he accepted the bandanna that Buck offered and mopped his face without really thinking about what he was doing. Afterwards he looked at the somewhat grubby cloth and murmured, "Gawd, Bucklin."
Grinning slightly at the look of revulsion on the southerner's face, Buck put a hand on his friend's back and rubbed circles to try and release the tension.
Shifting his weight nervously, Vin asked, "Ez? Ya alright?"
Gazing into the worried sky blue eyes of the tracker and then to the similar expression in the hazel eyes of the gunslinger, Ezra mustered a more reassuring smile and said, "I'm worried about how the surgery will go, but I'm alright. Mau… Mother simply wanted to tell me that she l-loves me. That she always has… despite her treatment to the contrary."
Looking down at the grubby cloth that he still held, Ezra sniffled and said, "I think she wanted to clear the air between us, in case… well, just in case."
Looking back up, Ezra gave a short burst of laughter at the sight before him. Baker, having grown bored and a little hot within the confines of the tracker's shirt, had popped his flop-eared, big eyed head out from a gap in the shirt buttons. Covering his mouth with his hand, Ezra shoved the kerchief in his pocket and moved forward to release Baker from his confinement, much to the little dog's delight. Trying to avoid the eagerly licking tongue of the dog, Ezra chuckled a little and hugged the pup to his chest. Knowing Vin's aversion to being indoors and Chris' need for the evil leaf, he proposed, "Shall we wait on the porch? Baker needs to run around a little."
"I believe I shall go over to the church and offer a few prayers, if you don't need me hear, son," replied Josiah, seeing that Ezra was on a more even keel now and knowing that neither Chris nor Vin would leave the gambler on his own. Buck would be going on afternoon patrol eventually, but he'd no doubt stick close until then.
"I'd appreciate that, 'Siah. Every bit helps," answered the gambler, bending to let Baker down on the boardwalk where the pup immediately shook himself vigorously before sitting on the man's shined boot to survey the activity on the street.
Chris lit up a cheroot and stood downwind of the others, leaning on a post and glaring up and down the street, looking for potential trouble.
Ezra carefully removed his foot from under the pup and began to pace up and down the front of the surgery. Stopping at one end he gazed up at the sign he'd erected proclaiming the building to be a surgery, he read under his breath, "Doctor CA Fletcher - Surgeon, N Jackson – Doctor in Training".
An hour later and Ezra was beside himself with suppressed nerves. Everyone had moved back inside with Vin sitting on one side and Chris on the other. JD had returned from patrol but was currently walking Baker and himself, the tension being too much for the hyperactive youngster. Josiah had returned from the church, going via the restaurant for enough coffee for them all. Buck had gone out on patrol most reluctantly.
The door opened and Byron staggered out, almost collapsing in Josiah's arms when the big man spun around and leapt towards the white faced man.
"Byron?"
Chris and Vin clamped a hand each on Ezra's forearms at the strangled cry from the southerner. For his part, Ezra made no move towards the door, waiting for the bad news to come to him.
"Never again! You hear me! I will never, NEVER do that again. I need air. Let me out, please. Let me outside," shouted Bryron, desperately fighting against Josiah's strong hold as he tried to get to the door on rubbery legs.
Just then, JD came to the door carrying Baker since he'd been told that the pup wasn't allowed to set foot on the clean clinic floor. A blast of cool air entered with him, which seemed to refresh and revive the Pinkerton, causing him to stand on his own feet and close his eyes in relief. Drawing in huge lungfuls of the fresh air, he tried to banish the sweet, cloying taint of ether from his lungs and nose. Shuddering, he walked over to sit next to Vin in the last remaining chair.
"Byron?"
Just as Chris was about to demand that Bryon answer the timid summons of the gambler, the door opened again and Nathan emerged. Whereas the Pinkerton agent was ashen upon his emergence, the healer positively glowed with the joy of learning more about the work he was so passionate about. Locking on to the distressed eyes of his friend, Nathan's expression dimmed and he walked over to kneel down in front of Ezra.
"Doc Fletcher is just washing up now, Ez. Maude is settled in a recovery bed out back, sleeping off the ether," soothed Nathan, keeping his voice low as those green eyes drilled through him looking for falsehoods.
"D-Did … was the s-surgery a success?"
"Of course it was, my boy. Was there ever any doubt with someone of my and Mr Jackson's calibre at the helm? Even your friend, Byron, there performed without flaw. The protuberance was still viable, so we merely had to push it back and sew up the tear in her abdominal wall. Provided there is no complications, such as infection, then I expect she will make a full recovery."
"She'll be fine?"
"Barring infection or complications, yes."
"Can I see her?"
"Of course, you can, son. But she will be sleeping for a long while yet and will probably be violently ill upon awakening. Few people react well to ether, I'm afraid," assured Archie, his voice strained as he felt a coughing fit building. Excusing himself, he hurried out the front and around the side of the building. The urge to cough had been successfully suppressed during the surgery, but only just. It wouldn't be long before he'd be unable to operate.
Standing up, Ezra barely noticed as the others followed through to the recovery rooms. Nathan was in the surgery, scrubbing away the bloody evidence of the operation. Mentally reviewing all he'd seen, he committed it to memory with plans to write it all out in his journal later. Preoccupied with his task and thoughts, he never noticed the others trooping through.
Vin guided Ezra to Maude's side, settling him in the chair that Chris brought over. Ezra never noticed, his attention focussed solely on his mother, lying still as death on the bed. Gingerly taking her hand in his, he held it up to his cheek, willing some of his own warmth and life into it.
Chris, Vin and Josiah took up positions around the room, willing to wait with Ezra. JD quietly left with Baker, vowing to look after the little animal until Vin came for him.
An expectant air settled on the room as four man waiting on the woman in the bed to awaken.
TBC