Chapter Twenty: Appointment
Dad left for Seattle yesterday and I have to take Isabella to her doctor's appointment. I wasn't exactly looking forward to it because I was a bit anxious about this appointment. Something felt off and I didn't know what it was. Leah had even tried to calm my nerved to no avail. I had taken off early today to take her to this appoint and would have to work overtime once dad got back to make up for it. Isabella had gotten a little bigger and could no longer fit behind the wheel of her truck. This meant that dad had driving her back and forth to school or Jake would come up from La Push or they would spend the evening at the house.
Luckily Dan was okay with changing our schedule for the couple of days that dad was in Seattle and I had to drive Isabella to school. We came in an hour late and left an hour late. Thankfully Isabella's friend Angela offered to drive Isabella to the station after school to wait for my shift to be over. It was odd having to incorporate another person into my schedule instead of making plans as I go.
The drive to the doctor's had been quiet and the wait to be called in had been long. When they finally called her in Isabella had grabbed my hand hard and tugged my arm to have me come with her. I was hesitant, but when she gave me a pleading look I relented and got up with her. The weighed her and did some measurements to make sure that Alex was growing like he should. They had me step out of the room while the doc did the internal exam. I was outside the room for about three minutes before I was allowed back. A nurse rolled the sonagram machine into the room, setting it up as the doctor had Isabella raise her shirt and squirted the cold blue gel onto her abdomen.
The nurse handed the doctor the little wand and she quickly started moving it around on Isabella's stomach as she looked intently at the screen. She pointed out all the limbs, fingers, toes, the features on his face. Alex was sucking on his thumb which had Isabella almost in tears as I stared mesmerized at the screen. No matter how many times I brought Isabella to these appointments and saw the little guy on the screen it was just amazing, seeing him grow and change over the weeks.
Doc printed out some pictures and handed them to me to hold. Isabella wiped away the tears that fallen down her face as she looked at the screen. The doc was staring intently as she clicked away on the keyboard. She had a finally click and the machine started making a weird thumping noise that I had learned was the sound of Alex's heart beating away. The doc and nurse were listening hard to the machine and I had a feeling this was bad. They hadn't done that at any of the other appointments and it was putting me on edge.
The doc started clicking away at the keyboard and started moving the wand around again. She focused in on a spot and was really studying the image on the screen. I leaned backward away from Isabella to get a glimpse of the screen. I could see the movement of the little organ that was Alex's heart. My stomach started twisting in knots as I realized they most think there's something wrong with his heart. My suspicions seemed confirmed when the doc sent the nurse and asked for several things to be brought into the room in-between a whole bunch of medical terms before turning back to Isabella and I with a serious look.
"On the sonagram I saw what seemed like a malformation of the baby's heart and I'm going to have to do some tests before we get too concerned." She said and we slowly nodded before she left the room. I grabbed Isabella's hand as tears began running down her face and she rubbed a spot on her abdomen. The tears quickly turned into whole hearted sobs and I lifted her up into a hug.
"Shhhh… They're just doing tests and they'll come back in a while and tell us that our concerns were for nothing." I tried soothing as I rubbed her back in a calming matter while I tried to hold back my own tears and worries as well as the worst case scenarios that were running through my head.
"I can't take care of a sick baby, Eli." She sobbed into my neck as I hugged her a little tighter.
"I thought I would be able to…but I can barely take care of myself and now a sick baby?" She cried and I winced at the pain in her words.
"It'll be alright. You have dad and I. We'll help as much as we can. You're not alone." I soothed as she clung to me for dear life.
"No, it's not, Eli. I'm too young for this. What am I going to do?" She cried and her gripped got a bit tighter. I racked my brain for an answer to give her.
"There are only two answers Isabella. You can give him up for adoption or you'll have to keep him and give him the best life you can." I said as I continued to hug her.
"I don't want him to go into the system, but I can't take care of him the way he deserves." She continued to cry. A thought seemed to strike her and she pulled away a little from my hug and sniffled a little as she looked up into my eyes.
"You can take him." She said and I froze. Take him? How was I supposed to do that? I wasn't even twenty yet and to become a guardian for a little person? Then again Isabella was only eighteen and she was becoming a mom.
"You can take him, Eli. It will be like an adoption, but he won't be put in the system and he'll grow up here with you and dad. You can take better care of him than I can and his life would be more stable here with you. I don't know where I'm going in life, but you know and you have friends and dad here to help you." She pleaded and I could see how it would work, but I didn't want to think about this now.
"We'll talk about this later. They still have to run the tests and get the results. We could be fretting for nothing and he'll be perfectly healthy." I said and gave her hand a squeeze. She nodded before lying back down on the crinkled paper. I knew she was thinking more about this and I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it. Isabella absent-mindedly rubbed the bump as she thought and remained silent while I thought about what all would to take place if Isabella's idea went into effect.
The afternoon was a whirlwind of the doctor and nurses in and out of the room and tests being run and conducting. The wait for results was hard. Sitting around knowing nothing and knowing you can't do anything to help or hurry the tests for answers. The nurses were kind and made sure that Isabella was comfortable and that she got a snack or drink when needed. I didn't if I should call dad and talk to him about this. Dad would be coming home tomorrow and I didn't know if I should let him drive home from Seattle with all this on his brain. I did step out and call Leah. I told her about the situation, leaving out about Isabella's idea to give me custody of Alex. Leah had assured me that everything would turn out fine and that Alex was just be cantankerous and playing a prank. I had chuckled as the thought calmed some of my nerves and I thanked her before going back into the room.
"Eli?" I turned to see an older nurse walking down the hall toward me. I stopped and smiled at her.
"Is there anything we can get you? Coffee, food, maybe a pillow?" She asked and I thanked her agreeing to a pillow. She led me down the hall and toward a small room stacked high with supplies and blankets. She grabbed from the shelf before turning back to me.
"You know, not many brothers would stay by their sister the way you have, Eli. You father must be proud of the young man you have become." The nurse said as she smiled at me. I smiled back and thanked her again for the pillow before walking into the room.
Isabella was lying asleep on the hard uncomfortable bed that was supplied in the room. She had finally worried herself to sleep about twenty minutes ago which I was very thankful for. Dad told me and I had even witnessed for myself the screaming nightmares that Isabella had almost every night. I had an idea of what the dream was about, but she refused to talk about it. I was glad to see that she was at least getting some sleep.
She slept for about an hour before the doctor knocked on the door and poked her head in. The look on her face wasn't the least bit comforting and the feeling that had stirred in my stomach flared again. I had known something was coming and this was that something. I grabbed Isabella's hand and placed my head against the table to hide my face. The doctor quietly stepped inside and closed the door she took a seat across from Isabella and I.
"The tests have come back and we found that there is in fact a malformation of the baby's heart." She said quietly and pulled out a piece of paper from Isabella's chart. Drawing a picture before turning it toward Isabella and I.
"The fourth chamber of his heart is small with a small hole and the lining of the rest of the chamber in very thin. This means that once his lungs are fully developed we are going to take you in for a cesarean section. We will take him into the operating room from there and we will stitch up the hole. Once surgery in over he will be place in the NICU. From there we can give him medicine and use small graphs of tissue that we will take during surgery to grow the lining in his heart. After two weeks later we will go back in and place the graph over the lining of the chamber that will grow. Once he is fully healed it will be as if nothing was ever wrong, he will just have to be carefully monitored throughout his life and there will be a couple of medications that he will have to take." The doctor said as she used her pen to point and draw what she was talking about.
"How far along will she have to be for his lungs to be fully developed?" I asked quietly as I tried to hold back the tears that were thick in my voice.
"Right now Bella is about a little over seven months along. We will start to see her once a week to keep an eye on the baby's heart and lungs while he give a shot that will speed up his development. I would say that it could range from later this month into next month, but he will definitely be here before February." She replied and nodded silently as I thought through all the information that had just been thrown at me.
"Now Bella, being seven months you should have started to feel Braxton Hicks contraction or they should start soon." The doc informed and Bella nodded.
"If you start feeling true contractions come in immediately. The contractions and a natural delivery can put stress on the baby's heart." She said and I continued to try to keep up. I was on information overload. I could feel the beginning of a head ache nagging behind my eyes. The tears had returned and ran like a faucet down her face. I gave her hand a squeeze.
The doctor gave us a few pamphlets and her phone number. She told us to call if we had any questions and if there was a problem at any time. I had thanked her and helped a dazed Isabella out to the truck. The sun was setting and the air felt still. I felt as if my world had been hit by an earthquake and was tipped onto its side. The ride home was quiet as more tears fell down Isabella face as she stared out the window and the rain began to fall.
When we arrived home and after I helped her into the house, Isabella went into her room. She shut the door and I had a feeling that my trying to comfort her wouldn't help. I picked up the phone and dialed a number that had become very familiar since Isabella's pregnancy.
"Hello?" She answered and sighed relieved into the phone.
"Angela, can you come to the house?" I asked.
After a short conversation Angela hung up and promised to be here as soon as possible. After I hung up with Angela I called Leah and she picked up on the first ring.
"How'd it go?" She asked concerned. I had told her about my fears for this appointment and she had tried to soothe them to no avail. I took a deep breath before answering her.
"Not good." I said.
"I'll be right over." She said before hanging up. I walked into the kitchen and for the first time in my life felt regret for not be a rebellious child and having beer in the house. I felt that I could get drunk and not have a care in the world. Instead I grabbed my jacket back off the chair and went out onto the porch. I took a seat in one of the chairs that I had set out here and took my head into my heads.
I thought about all that was happening and the plan Isabella had told me in that small, eight by eight room. Could I really be responsible for a little person before my life has really started? Hadn't Isabella been planning to just that for months now? Would she still want to be a part of her son's life? I was so deep into thought that I didn't even realize Leah had arrived till she engulfed me in a tight hug that I was quick to return.
"What happened?" She asked quietly before I pulled her into my lap. I didn't care if people found out or what they thought or the rumors that would spread. I buried my head in her hair and took in her calming scent as she lightly rubbed my back before running her hand through my hair. I let out a deep sigh after a couple of minutes and pulled my head out of her hair, but kept her in my lap.
"Alex has a malformation in his heart. He'll have to be born early and he's going to have to undergo a couple of surgeries. They say they'll to watch him closely and he'll be on medication his entire life."I said and saw a tear run down her cheek. I brushed it away and she pulled me in for a tight hug.
"She asked me to take him." I said as I buried my face back in her hair to her neck.
"What?" She asked as she quickly pulled away to look me in the eye.
"Who asked you to do what?" She asked when I didn't answer.
"Isabella asked me to take Alex." I said and she stared at me in disbelief.
"When they first mentioned the possibility of something being wrong with Alex. She kind of broke. She said she could never put him through the torture of being in the system, but she couldn't take care of a sick baby. She said I should take him and honestly I think I should." I said and Leah stared at me shocked.
"So she can be free?" She asked and she sounded angry.
"So she can get away from the consequences of being irresponsible? So she can get away with not caring enough?" Leah said and she got off m y lap as she started to glare at me.
"No!" I said as I stood and took her hands in mine. I stared into her eyes and the anger started to melt away. I dropped her hands and turned towards the trees as a tear ran down my face.
"I won't let Alex's life be ruined be his mother the way that Renee ruined mine." I said and stared intently at the trees as more tears fell. I heard Leah gasp before she was in front of me wiping away the tears and wrapping her arms around me.
"Oh Eli." She said.
We only broke apart when we heard the sound of tires turning up the driveway. Angels quickly got out of the car and rushed up the steps. Angela really was a great girl; she stood by Isabella when everyone else ran. She looked increasingly concerned when she saw me.
"She's in her room. The first room on the right down the hall. " I said hoarsely as she nodded and ran into the house. After she went inside I brought Leah with me into the garage and brought a couple of pieces of lumber. I started focusing on building rocking chair for Alex. I knew that once he got her we would need a rocking chair. Every child should have a rocking chair and Alex was not going to be an exception. I don't know how long it was when Leah finally pried the tools from my hand from my hands and led me inside. She pushed me onto the bed stripping me of my clothes before doing the same to herself and climbed into bed. She brought my head to her chest as she began singing an old Quileute lullaby that I vaguely remembered hearing Sarah and Sue sing at various times throughout my childhood and before I knew it I found myself drifting into an uneasy sleep.