Hey guys! Welcome back to rules of NEST. Not a big response last time, review wise. I don't know if a lot of you just read this to get a few laughs in a hurry or what. *shrugs* Eh. But so far, Galloway's Replacement seems to have had a decent revival! For being dead for a year. And to answer the questions of those not in the know. YES, I UPDATED GALLOWAY'S REPLACEMENT, which is what this story is based off of. I know a lot of you would probably prefer that I update that one instead, but this story is going to be my main focus for now. End of discussion. I'm trying to get out as many good chapters as I can before school starts. Not to mention a lot of my creativity is being sucked out by RPing on Skype, which is fun, but surprisingly tiring. Also, I have found Ultra Magnus and Kathy's song! Like Real People Do, by Hozier.
Would you guys be interested in me writing a one shot on Kathy's backstory by the way? Tell me in a review!
Kathy: Now why you gonna do somethin' like that?
Well, who knows? Some people might be interested.
Kathleen: Of COURSE they'd be interested. We're an amazing person.
Kathy: Honey, ya need to get yer eyes checked. The most we share is looks and a name.
*sigh*
THANK YOU TO ALL WHO SENT IN RULES! Y'ALL ARE THE REAL MVP!
*insert standard disclaimer here*
206. Do try to celebrate winter holidays in summer.
(I know what you little bastards were trying to do with that mistletoe.)
(You made Magnus and I kiss. Under mistletoe. In June.)
(...)
( Hush. I am NOT blushing.)
207. Do not try to replace Ratchet's wrenches with nerf versions, even if it is amusing.
(Ya know, I think the last time some one did that, he dipped the wrenches in a polymer that when set, made them as hard as stone. He said he uses it to patch up a leaking energon line in a hurry.)
(And the time before that, he glued rocks and stuff to them.)
(And the time BEFORE that, he just tied a real wrench to the end.)
(Damn bot is getting smarter.)
208. Do not pretend to be talking to someone who is not actually there.
(Sam, the cube-brain he is, SWEARS that he's just talking to the other primes and the all spark. No one really believes him anymore. He's already been through four psyche evals.)
(Will had to go through one just the other day after being caught talking to himself. Ratchet didn't even bother to ask what he was doing. Will almost went beserk before he screamed at Ratchet "I WAS ON MY GODDAMN BLUETOOTH!")
(Orion, the cutest sparkling ever, has taken to staring and babbling at nothing, like a lot of human children do. Ratchet says that it doesn't happen on Cybertron and I had to explain the concept of spirits to him and the others. They, as usual, are freaked the fuck out.)
(I'm pretty used to it, because of my old job. And so are a lot of the teachers and a few parents. But Ironhide and Will always freak the fuck out when Annabelle does it, which is thankfully rare now that she's older.)
(Kira, being ten, should be too old to still be doing it, but she hasn't really stopped yet. Of course, she's not all there anyway, but still. Starscream and the other seekers have gotten pretty used to it by now. They just make sure they don't leave her there too long.)
(I had to go for another psyche eval after Ratchet caught me talking to myself. He says muttering to myself is okay, but outright talking is a cause for concern. It took me ten minutes before I was finally able to tell him that I had been talking to Mirage, who had been using his cloak thingy.)
209. Don't put window clings on a bot's alt mode without their permission.
(Leo put one on Skids that says 'My stick family was abducted.')
(Bumblebee has a custom one that says 'Beeotch, I'm faster AND prettier than you.')
(I think he's channeling Sunny a bit too much.)
(Sideswipe put one on Ratchet's that says 'Enter and be probed.')
(Grimlock let me put one on him that is a t-rex eating a stick family and under it are the words 'Your stick family was DELICIOUS.')
210. When on assignment with the Autobots, try not to yell at the local wildlife.
(Miles is a little strange, even for base.)
(Barricade decided to take Miles with him when they had to go to Canada. They ran into some decepticons and got into a tussle.)
(While that was going on, Miles wandered up the road and found that there was a road block ahead.)
(The road block being a ginormous herd of reindeer.)
(Miles gets very bored very easily and he is VERY used to hanging around battles.)
(So, he decided that the one way he could help Barricade, Bumblebee, and Sideswipe was to yell at the reindeer to get them out of the way. Sam, of course, was running around, screaming his head off and being a general distraction as usual.)
(When the fight was over and the bot's had the cons in stasis cuffs, they picked up their charges. Of course, Barricade started getting a little upset when he couldn't find Miles.)
(When they did find him, he was too busy screaming, "YO! MOVE OUT THE WAY YOU OVERGROWN SHEEP! HEY, DON'T JUST IGNORE ME LIKE I'M A DRUNK SANTA CLAUS WHO'S GOTTEN A LITTLE TOO FRISKY. I AM MAN, YOU'RE ENEMY. I HUNT YOU. YOU'RE NOT TASTY, BUT I HUNT YOU!" to notice them.)
(Another psyche eval for Miles it is.)
211. Do not attempt to use a religious or morality waiver to excuse yourself from vaccines. Ratchet only accepts medical exemptions.
(First of all, if you refuse to get your kid vaccinated, I am legally allowed to have you and your family reassigned to another base.)
(That shit is dangerous.)
212. Do not question my authority or position on this base.
(Whenever we get new soldiers in, I like to meet them when they arrive. Lennox, Epps, and Optimus are usually there with me. They know before hand that I'll be there, but they don't usually know my name.)
(Last time, when they showed up and Will, Epps, and Optimus were introduced, I was interuppted during mine by their Sergeant who asked me to 1. 'Get me a coffee toots. Black, four sugars.' and 2. 'Go get the director, He's late.')
(He thought I was an assistant. The others with me, smartly, backed up.)
(I think I was actually rather calm about the whole thing. I smiled, stuck out my hand for him to shake, and said 'Director Kathy Woodward. I'm not late.')
(He went as white as a sheet and so did his soldiers. I thought Will and Epps were gonna crack a few ribs, they were holding in their laughter so hard. The next thing I said was, with the biggest smile I could possible make and with the sweetest voice ever, 'Now go run 50 laps on the track. Now. We will show the rest of your squad aroud while you try to get over your sexist tendencies.)
(He never did get over them. And he still doesn't listen to me. I think he might be related to Galloway.)
213. No burning man festivals are allowed.
(Even if the Burning Man is shaped like Megatron.)
(A few of the bots don't like our natural pyromaniac tendencies.)
(Just because they don't have fire on their planet doesn't mean they should judge us.)
(It's their fault for not having oxygen or any organic materials to burn.)
215. Superhero comics are to restricted to private quarters and are not too be shared with the base kids or scientists.
(Because they need even more ideas in their heads.)
(Though I did have fun with the telekinesis Jackie and Shockwave gave me for a day.)
(So many screams of terror, so little time.)
(*sighs happily*)
216. The following movies are also banned on base:
(Boondock Saints 1 & 2- There's a lot of blood, violence, and vulgar language.)
(Which is one of the reasons I like it so much. It's a cult classic. *shrugs*)
(The Clockwork Orange- That is some fucked up shit right there. That's all I'm saying. I haven't seen it, but I've seen the rape scene, and any movie that has rape in it is banned on my base.)
(Yeah, this isn't Prowler's doing, but mine. Gotta problem?)
(Oceans 11 Trilogy- Apparently we have a few ex-cons, haha punny, amongst us, who get a little too inspired by this movie.)
(I find it very funny that Barricade, who's alt mode is a police cruiser, was a convict back on Cybertron, before the war. He thought it was funny, apparently.)
(The Matrix Trilogy- No guys, it isn't real and we are not in control of giant robots.)
(*does a robot voice* Or. Are. We.)
(Fast & Furious Series- With so many racers on base, you'd think this would be obvious. It gives the Lamo Twins, Bumblebee, etc. ideas.)
217. Do not use pets as target practice.
(IRONHIDE, CROSSHAIRS.)
(If I see you even jokingly pointing your cannons at Boss one more time, I will not be happy.)
(Sunny doesn't like it when you threaten Bob either.)
(Bob and Boss are best friends. Boss rides on Bob's head.)
(Bob is very cute for an insecticon.)
218 a. The point of raking dirt in front of the HQ building is to teach you the error of your ways; not to create a zen rock garden.
(Though it is very nice.)
(I go there for my breaks and to eat lunch some times.)
(Drift, Miles)
218 b. If you have been assigned to paperwork duty as punishment, you are not to spend your time making origami and paper airplanes out of said paperwork.
(I went on a lunch date, yes a DATE, with Magnus and came back to a war zone in my office.)
(They had even made paper torpedos and somehow made it so they could actually shoot them out of the planes.)
(It's been a week since and we still haven't found it all.)
219. Just because you say you're allergic to latrines does not give you permission to piss anywhere you want. The Major's wife's flower bed thanks you.
(If you do decide to piss in one of the greenhouses, don't do it on Shockwave's plants.)
(They'll get grumpy.)
(And eat you.)
220. The following things are not to be done over the PA system.
(1. Farting)
(Random drunk soldier.)
(2. Singing anything by Justin Beiber)
(Leo and Sam)
(3. Pretending you're a radio talkshow host)
(Even if said talk show becomes popular. We have our own radio system for that.)
(Miles and Fig)
(4. Begin a 'normal' annoucement, then act as if someone is attacking you, then say a 'dying' message into the microphone after having barricaded the door.)
(Lennox)
Well, here ya go guys! Enjoy! PLEASE REMEMBER THE POLL ON MY PROFILE. WHEN I POST THE NEXT CHAPTER, THE POLL WILL END!