You know what I wished? Other than to have a normal life, my wish was to somehow organize my thoughts. You know, like into folders like my computer. My brain would be a much safer and much more relaxed place. But, no. My thoughts were swarming. My ideas were all over the place and I had no idea how to stop them. I guess according to Kaitlyn, ending the chaos of my thoughts did not mean I had to end my life. It meant, 'getting my lazy butt off of the floor'. And, well, that's exactly what she proceeded to do.

She led me outside into the backyard, bright and sunny, and was determined to get me to play. To play. Was I four years old or something?

"You need it." She'd said. "You need to have fun. Remember what it's like to be young and care-free again."

I gave her my blandest look. All I intended to do was plop on the couch and snuggle up with An Imperial Affliction.

"Leave me alone, Kaitlyn. I'm fine. I'm over him. I'm over life. I'm happy, see?" I forced a smile and squinted my eyes. Darn, she saw right through me.

"Yeah, I'm not falling for that. Sit on the swing."

"Huh?"

"The swing. Get on it." She insisted. I obeyed. The contraption was glistening with sunshine and practically screaming youth and happiness. Maybe a little too much. Nonetheless, I plopped myself onto the seat.

"Now close your eyes."

"Kaitlyn, I- "

"Close them."

I closed my eyes in annoyance. Kaitlyn really needed to stop trying with me and just go home. I could deal with life on my own.

"Now, Hazel," she whispered in a therapeutic tone. "Imagine… an awesome life…"

I tried. I imagined me reading An Imperial Affliction, circling each significant phrase one by one. I imagined me in love with no one in particular, just generally. And most importantly, I imagined me without cancer. Now that was awesome.

"Kaitlyn, you're really good at this…" I said, with my eyes still closed. I didn't want to let go of this beautiful imaginary life I dreamed up for myself.

"Kaitlyn?" I opened my eyes to… no Kaitlyn. She'd actually left me. What a great best friend.

Absent mindedly, I perched my legs on the flimsy seat of the swing, then let myself hang; arms flailing, hair flopping and everything. I could've fallen at that moment. I have no idea why I didn't. My oxygen tank rested steady on my side. All the blood in my body rushed to my head and I instantly felt heavy. But for some odd reason, I felt so much better. Like the weight of the world was suddenly thrown off of my shoulders. Literally and metaphorically. Who knew a swing set could do so much?

I closed my eyes ever so slowly and breathed in and out, maintaining a good rhythm. Then, out of nowhere, I began to hum a Hectic Glow song. The moment was the definition of pure peace. A slight breeze ruffled my hair and made me sway side to side. It was literally as if I was floating on air. It was the best feeling.

Still upside down, I awkwardly turned my head to look ahead. I was immediately greeted by the fresh green grass of the backyard, then I saw our house a bit further down. Upside down, the world was a completely different place. Upside down, there were no dying babies, no crazy boyfriends, no dead boyfriends, and certainly no cancer. It was all a different perspective. In this orientation, it was impossible to see the bad. It might've just been my hormones playing tricks on me, but I had this sudden impulse to not be all sulky all the time. I wanted to enjoy the little time I had left. I let my eyes fall open, and this time it wasn't the house I saw in the distance. It was Isaac.

The guy who broke my heart far too many times.

The guy who lied to me about being someone else.

The guy who… I'm still in head-over-heels in love with.

"Hazel…" he jogged forward until he was awkwardly sitting on the swing beside me. His hugs black glasses reflected the sunlight and somehow managed to light up is perfect face. The sunlight even touched his jet black hair, and made it shine beautifully like a thousand stars. I admired him as a whole, but tried not to let it show. I was still really mad at him.

The breeze made him sway in my direction; I got a weft of his minty madness and smiled inside.

"Hazel, you've been ignoring my calls, my texts and everything in-between. I had to come see you." he said in a voice so low that only people an arm's length away could hear. I knew this was hard for him to say, but I still refused to talk to him. I couldn't. Not that easily.

"Fine. You want poetic? I'll give you poetic. Just remember, I'm not giving up on you." he said in his overly comedic tone. I almost began to giggle. Isaac positioned himself on the swing beside me, the same way I was hanging. He took an extending breath and cautiously began speaking.

"Hazel, you are like magic to me. Saying that I'm in love with you doesn't even begin to sum up how I feel…" he sighed allowed. "Okay, you know I suck with words, but I'll get better, for you."
And that's when I did it. I giggled. Oops. Still upside down, Isaac took my sweaty hand into his soft one.

"Listen, if I hadn't walked into your backyard that summer night, and if you hadn't let me in, I wouldn't be the guy I am today. I'd be like… half the guy I am today. You, Hazel, you complete me, if that makes sense."

"Yes, it makes sense." I said, giving up.

"You're the... The hamster to my Anna."

"Oh my gosh, you read the book!?"

"Audio book, yes." he said. We filled the silence will laughter.

"But listen; this mess of a world…" Isaac waved his arms everywhere around him in all directions to point at everything. "...will attack you with its hate and horror, but once you find love… once you find love, everything... Everything is... Alright."

Now this, this brought a smile to my face.

"Everything is alright!" I exclaimed, laughing at myself. I sat up in the seat and so did Isaac. "With you." I added as I looked at him.

Yaaay! Happinesss! Sadly, this book will be ending soon:( But not so soon. More to come! Thanks for all the support. Please comment if you can, I would like to know what you readers think.

Thanks a bunch

~beacuz