(posted April 13, 2008)

Disclaimer: All Transformers characters, settings, etc. are the property of Hasbro and any other respective owners. Any original characters (such as Sunshadow) AND THE PLOT are the intellectual property of Litahatchee/ Letohatchee. No part of the story, ideas (such as carrying), or OC's are to be used without the express permission of Litahatchee/ Letohatchee. Litahatchee/ Letohatchee is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Thanks so much to the REVIEWERS of chapter 19: Miss Hiss, blood shifter, flamingmarsh, ferretsareillegal, Bluebird Soaring, Dragowolf, Fae Child 19, RachaelMNiner, thechickenlittle, Violetlight, theshadowcat, Hearts of Eternity, MadameSoybean, Karategal, i-love-me-some-leggypoo, plenoptic, grlwdgrntrk, Xerios, lady tecuma, Lecidre, and Shizuka Taiyou.

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CREDITS AND THANK YOUs: The magnetic pulses are Pheonix13's idea from her stories "Birds and Bumblebees," "Scent of the Future," and "Movie Star." I use them quite differently, but the basis for my idea with them came from her. Thank you Phoenix13! The name 'Floatilla' belongs to lady tecuma from "Sparks and Plasma." A huge thank you goes out to Hearts of Eternity for keeping me on track. I was way off and she reigned me back in. Yet another huge thank you goes to Violetlight for beta-ing this for me and for going over every little draft with me, and to lady tecuma for reading it over for me.

OMG, this is a huge chapter and I have been working so hard to get it out to you wonderful readers! I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you so much for all of the wonderful reviews you've all been leaving!

Italics are flashbacks.

Enjoy!

Night Fire

Chapter 20

Revelations

by Litahatchee

Chromia sat on the very same ledge in the desert that she had driven to before. The beauty of the land formation and the valley below still escaped her notice. It was isolated. Other than a few small Earth mammals skittering nearby, there were no signs of life for miles around. The only sound was the wind moving across the surface of the ground, tiny grains of sand shifting and sliding against each other. At the moment, she was just happy to have the isolation.

She looked down at her abdomen, her spark aching. The first vorn without him was the toughest. She looked for him after every recharge, trying to fill the void in her spark…

As she searched through Ironhide's familial files again, she realized that Ironhide had not forgotten them. She couldn't find his memories of Sunshadow, but she also couldn't find his memories of her. It was strange. He obviously hadn't forgotten her. His feelings for her were very obviously intact from the moment she arrived on this planet.

Yet, she felt...discarded. It was as if he had just tossed them aside, as he would the memories of the Decepticons he had killed. Those memories were still there, he'd just thrown them in a trash file that could be recovered if the need arose, just in case he needed to remember any specific one.

Chromia's spark sank, spark-ache taking over as she began to sorrow. How could he do that to them? How could he do that to her after everything they had been through? He was her reason for living. He had always been her reason...

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Immediately following Megatron's departure from Floatilla, Chromia lay on the ground, unmoving. The spear had paralyzed her, but it was the pain in her spark at losing Sunshadow that was too much to bear. She drifted in and out of consciousness, content to allow herself to drift into death. If it weren't for another presence, that would have happened soon enough. The presence was right there, lying right next to her, his spark holding on to hers with an iron grip: Ironhide.

She could feel him holding her hand. At some point she tried to squeeze it, but she didn't know if he felt it. He had moved closer to her, as close as he could get. Neither had any desire to live, and neither were aware of it at the time, but it was his spark that kept her going. This was something that Ratchet knew about sparkmates very well. That was why he insisted on having Ironhide right next to her throughout the entire operation. It was their sparks holding on to each other that kept her alive. If Ironhide weren't there, or if she wasn't bonded to him at all, she would have died before Ratchet even found them. They may have lost all hope, but their sparks had other plans; their sparks would never give up.

When Ratchet realized that they had lost a sparkling, he knew that keeping them alive, initially, was going to be more difficult. Even though the sparks would never give up, they had lost something very significant. A part of themselves had died. They were suffering from sparkshock. Between the injuries Chromia sustained and the injury their sparks sustained, they would not be able to hold on for long and, eventually, her systems and their sparks would succumb to death. He had wanted to join them to bring her energy levels up to help the injury to her frame, but, now, it was imperative that they be joined to help their sparks. As soon as she was stable enough...

Chromia was unaware of the ensuing struggle between Ratchet and Ironhide. She could feel Ironhide's spark next to hers. She could feel herself slipping away. Then, suddenly, Ironhide was within her, his presence bolstering her strength as his spark became merged with hers. She welcomed him in, each of them greeting the other in guilt and sorrow for not being able to keep their sparkling safe. He didn't make it in time...She couldn't keep him hidden...All of this became one and their sparks began speaking to each other as one shared being.

Each of their voices became mixed and they spoke together, "I forgive you Ironhide/Chromia. We still have each other. We live for each other." There was nothing that they could have done. The blame did not lie within.

Their sorrow became one within themselves, their joined sparks filling the individual voids Sunshadow left in each of them. The loss and pain was still there, but now it was being shared through the deep love they felt for each other. Ironhide's frame shifted as he brought his arms around her, the contentment that they felt in their shared pain and their shared love bringing them to overload...

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Chromia shook the memory away. For a long time after that, they fought every joining. Contentment in each other after the death of their creation was not something each of them could accept. However, it was that first joining that kept her alive and gave her the reason she wanted to live from then on: for Ironhide.

Now, it seemed that he had found another reason, and it appeared that it didn't include her, for anything other than the need to have her around in order to keep him alive. Even as she thought it, she refused to believe that it was the truth. It couldn't be true...She was just so angry with him that her anger was blinding her to the reality of the situation.

She suddenly felt Ironhide's intense presence as he pushed through her barriers. He jumped right in, appealing to her spark. A wave of need overtook her. She bent forward, clutching at her chassis, a sigh of want escaping her. She sat like that a minute, allowing the desert wind to cool her off. Even angrier with him than she was before, she forced him out. Frag him! This wasn't the time for games! What was he thinking?!

Another memory surfaced. It was much later...

Her frame had been healing nicely, but her spark and a few of her systems were waning...

She was angry with someone...

Someone who had spent a lot of time trying to help her…

Someone who had been trying to get through to her and, hopefully, to Ironhide, as well...

---

"I've forgiven him," Chromia said as the crimson-armored femme stood next to her berth, monitoring her spark.

"Yes, but, you haven't forgiven yourselves," the femme responded. Ironhide may have forgiven Chromia and she may have forgiven him, but they still blamed themselves. Their joinings had renewed their love for each other, but did not help them in their loss. They didn't blame each other for what happened, but they hadn't forgiven themselves. "Until you do that, or you embrace this, it's always going to be there...eating you alive. It'll destroy both of you."

---

"Not if one of us just discards it all," Chromia retorted to herself angrily.

It was eating her alive, while Ironhide got to live in blissful ignorance with another youngling.

---

"You're not fragging listening! Good Primus, you are the most difficult bonded pair I've ever had to work with!" The femme closed Chromia's chassis and then leaned down to place one hand under her back, directly behind her spark, the other hand resting on Chromia's chassis above her spark.

"We never asked you for help..." Chromia glared at her, catching the reflection of her face in the femme's shiny black chest and shoulder overlays.

"Well," the femme said spitefully. "You're getting it whether you like it or not."

She sent a strong magnetic pulse to Chromia's spark between her hands. Chromia arched against her painfully.

"Frag you!" Chromia managed to get out.

The femme's magnetic pulses had never been that painful. They were normally used to sooth her spark.

"Someone has got to get your attention!" the femme growled. "This is going to tear you both apart if you don't fragging listen! You have to get through this...together, Chromia. Until you do, you'll always have problems. You'll constantly have to forgive each other."

She sent Chromia another pulse, this one much softer... Chromia closed her optics, the soothing sensations easing the pain in her spark.

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Chromia's anger pushed the memory from her mind as quickly as it appeared. She didn't know if she could forgive him this time. Pushing her and Sunshadow aside was unforgivable. She felt like she didn't know him anymore. She thought she knew everything about him, but everything that had been revealed to her since their reunion on Earth had come as such a shock. She just didn't know...

Chromia heard movement behind her and she turned to see who it was...It was Bumblebee.

---

Bumblebee wanted time to think. So much had happened since the femme's arrival that he just needed some time alone. At first, he tried to find her, but he was unsuccessful. His frustration building, he decided the best thing was just to be alone for awhile.

He had the perfect spot that he liked to go to in order to think. When he got there, he saw that the femme had found that spot too. When he finally stopped looking for her, he had found her.

She turned to look at him. He just stared back, unsure of what to say, his vocalizers mute in his apprehension. She turned away from him, back towards the valley. Bumblebee bowed his head in rejection.

He caught movement of her hand and looked up to see her patting the ground next to her, indicating for him to sit with her. His optics beamed in excitement.

"Hi," he said nervously as he settled himself beside her.

She didn't say anything as she continued to look over the valley, realizing the beauty for the first time as her optics took in the many colors of the desert floor below.

"I don't want you to go," Bumblebee suddenly blurted, turning away in embarrassment.

She finally looked at him. "I'm not going anywhere. If anyone has to go, it's him. I should just kill him and be done with it," she said angrily, but softly.

Bumblebee stared at her with wide optics, unsure of what to make of her words, shocked at how familiar she sounded, her tone, her temper...

Chromia mistook his shocked expression as one of concern for his caretaker. "I'm just kidding, Bumblebee," she assured him.

"It's not that!" Bumblebee said with surprise in his voice. "You...You sound just like him!" She was so much like Ironhide that it was scary.

A half smile played across her features and she looked out across the valley again.

"Why are you so mad at him?" Bumblebee asked.

"It's complicated, Bumblebee," she answered. "I don't know what to think about my sparkmate hiding a youngling from me." She understood why Ironhide did it, but it was still a shock to her.

"I don't know what to think about my caretaker hiding his sparkmate from me," Bumblebee commented back.

Chromia watched him a moment as they sat in silence. In a way, they were in the same situation. They both held a mech dear to them that held them dear to him, but he never bothered to introduce them to each other. Only one of them understood his reasoning.

After some length, she finally spoke. "We…" she hesitated, "lost a sparkling." Her pain was evident in her voice.

Bumblebee's own anger at Ironhide completely dissolved as the weight of what she had just revealed to him sank into his processor, into his very spark. He suddenly understood: Ironhide's fierce protection over him, Ironhide's pain in his optics when he saw him with Ratchet, the pain he felt in Ironhide's spark...Chromia's pain. It all came together in one solid moment of clarity. They had their own sparkling, one that was no longer with them.

Bumblebee reached over and placed a hand over hers. She stared at it; the simple, loving gesture surprising her.

"Was it a femme?" he asked next.

"No, it was a little mech," she answered with surprising ease.

Bumblebee was dumbfounded. Ironhide had his own sparkling. Bumblebee wondered if Ironhide's sparkling would have adopted him as a brother. He had full spark bonds that could have been considered brothers, of course, even though, in Earth terms, one was his creator and the other an uncle, but those relationships were far from settled. He could have had a brother that he could have played with. He had an older brother...

"What was his name?" Bumblebee wanted to know everything about him.

Chromia looked up into his optics, pleasantly surprised at the interest Bumblebee was showing in her sparkling.

"It was Sunshadow," she answered with a tinge of joy in her voice.

"That's a nice name," Bumblebee said, his optics smiling.

She began to open herself up to him, but still remained unsure. She did not want the comfort he could provide replacing Sunshadow. She could see that Bumblebee was content with just the limited contact.

Bumblebee could feel her in his spark again, though it was distant. He didn't mind, though. Any spark interaction was fine with him.

They sat in silence again, Bumblebee imagining what his life might have been like as Sunshadow's little brother. Another thought occurred to him…

"Is that why Ironhide has a carry hold?" he asked.

"How did you know that?!" Chromia exclaimed, practically jumping in surprise.

"He used to carry me in it," Bumblebee answered joyfully.

Chromia was completely taken aback. Ironhide allowed a sparkling that wasn't his into his hold? That was very unusual and...so loving and affectionate that Chromia's love for Ironhide swelled in her spark. As temperamental and rough as he was, his compassion could be overwhelming, even to her. She almost reached out to him, but her thick, stubborn, CPU prevented her from doing so. She was angry with him right now, for good reason. His adorable actions with Bumblebee weren't going to melt her resolve...

"I couldn't attach to his spark, so I just sat in it," Bumblebee continued. "I felt so safe in there."

"You were processing memory then?" Chromia asked. Normally, the ability to save a memory came to a sparkling after the carrying phase.

"Oh yes!" Bumblebee explained. "Ratchet couldn't find enough material to build my second frame for a long time so Ironhide kept carrying me. Ratchet had to tell him to stop. He thought that I was becoming too dependent on Hide. But, when Ratchet wasn't looking, he used to sneak me in. I think Ratchet had it all backwards, that Hide was too dependant on me." His optics were beaming with joy.

Chromia laughed and Bumblebee's spark responded in happiness that he could bring her to do so.

"You remind me of Sunshadow," Chromia said to him after a moment. "He was always so cheerful."

Bumblebee almost didn't believe that. Ironhide's sparkling, cheerful? Somehow, that didn't fit. Feeling his skepticism, Chromia laughed again. Ironhide's better qualities were always hidden from those around him. However, they came out in his sparkling naturally and openly.

"I don't think I can live up to what he was to you..." Bumblebee said after another moment of silence.

Bumblebee sounded so disappointed that Chromia almost assured him that he was every bit as important to her as Sunshadow was. She bowed her head, afraid of what that might mean. She didn't want to replace Sunshadow with anyone, no matter how much she cared for him or her. However, he was afraid that he couldn't replace Sunshadow and she was afraid that he could...

"...But," he continued. "Do you have room in your spark for me?"

Chromia slowly looked up into his expectant optics. Bumblebee wasn't asking for replacement of anybody. He wasn't asking her to forget. He wasn't asking her to move on...He just wanted to know if she had room for one more. He wanted so badly to belong, not to replace Sunshadow, but to have a place in her spark alongside Sunshadow.

She placed her free hand over the hand that was still holding hers, "Yes."

Drawing air into her intakes, preparing to have him be a part of her spark, she opened herself completely to him, her presence flooding into his. He reached back, clamping on to her presence with an intense need, the voids in his spark so painful that she was amazed he could carry that burden.

She suddenly felt guilty for shutting him out the way she did. The youngling obviously needed her. She needed him. She could help ease his suffering. She felt certain that his creators would want that. If her sparkling had lost her, she would have wanted a femme to help him.

Bumblebee could feel the intense pain in Chromia's spark as well, the vast loss that Sunshadow had left within her.

"What happened to Sunshadow?" Bumblebee almost whispered, unsure that he could even ask, regretting that he asked as soon as he asked it. He was unsure that she would even answer. However, after a moment, she did.

"He was killed at Floatilla," she whispered, so low that he almost didn't hear her.

Bumblebee had heard of the Floatilla Massacre. His spark sank...He also knew who the mastermind was for the attack. Oh, no...

Chromia felt Bumblebee's sudden despondence. Something was bothering him immensely.

"Was it..." he hesitated, but Chromia gave him a boost of confidence through her spark. "Was it Megatron?"

She looked away, the void in her spark spiking momentarily. Bumblebee started to apologize, but she stopped him. Unable to speak, the memory too painful to bear, she merely nodded her head.

She suddenly felt a painful spike in the most recent loss that Bumblebee's spark was suffering from. He looked away from her as what felt like guilt emanated from him.

"I am so sorry for what he did," Bumblebee whispered in sadness.

Chromia looked at him in surprise, "You're sorry? You have nothing to be sorry for."

Did this youngling somehow think that it was his fault? Did he think it was his fault because he was there with them, and their sparkling wasn't? Poor little mech. He shouldn't be harboring any survivor's guilt and he certainly shouldn't be blaming himself.

She chuckled in spite of it all, "You sound like Optimus, always blaming himself for what his brother was doing."

Bumblebee's head shot up, his spark tightening in anxiety. It was becoming apparent that Ironhide hadn't told her about his spark bond. He didn't want her to know about his connection with Optimus; not now, not after learning that Megatron had killed her sparkling.

Chromia felt his sudden apprehension, "You've picked up everyone's bad habits, haven't you?"

He cursed like Ironhide, he blamed himself like Optimus...Chromia wondered if he might start throwing wrenches at her, like Ratchet, at any moment...

Bumblebee didn't find any humor in her words, at the moment. Bumblebee felt withdrawn, worried about something...The pain in his spark rising in his chest.

"None of this is your fault," she soothed.

She just sat with him, sending him as much reassurance through their bond as she could, allowing him to calm himself down.

"Come here," Chromia said to him after a moment.

"What?" he asked.

"Sit right here," she indicated for him to sit in front of her. "With your back to me."

He did as he was told.

"Someone very special taught me this," she said.

"Was it a femme?" he asked, turning to face her.

She laughed, "Well, yes, actually...You're obsessed with femmes."

"What are you going to do?" he wanted to know.

"I'm going to help ease the pain from your sparkshock," she explained.

"My what?"

"Just lean back, Bumblebee."

He just stared at her. "Can I feel all femmes' sparks?" he asked next.

It was becoming clear that she was going to need to teach this bot about bonds. He didn't quite understand why he could feel hers and not Ironhide's.

"Yes, it's in our programming. This connection is here for your protection as a youngling. As soon as you are an adult, it will be gone..."

"But that...that's too soon," he panicked.

She reached out to him, soothing his fear, "It's okay, Bumblebee. It's the way we're built." She understood how he felt; she needed to accept it herself. "We have it now, though. We'll just make the best of it while it lasts."

He allowed himself to be comforted and almost leaned back, but he had so many questions! He desperately wanted to know his femme creator. The AllSpark hadn't told him that he even had one, but there was no denying the first void in his spark. Because there was a void, he knew that she was dead. He also knew that she was a Decepticon, which only served to increase his concerns over Megatron being his mech creator. However, the AllSpark had said it was Optimus. When Optimus revealed he had a sparkmate to Bumblebee, there was no indication that she had died, but perhaps the poor mech was in denial. He didn't know how long a bonded mate could live after the other one died, but maybe...just maybe...

"Was Elita a Decepticon?" If Elita was a Decepticon, then that would confirm to him that Optimus was, indeed, his mech creator.

Chromia laughed, "Where do you get these ideas? Of course not!"

Bumblebee sagged a little in disappointment as it still appeared that the AllSpark told him wrong. Chromia was oblivious to his concerns.

"Lean back, brightspark," Chromia said and he smiled at the endearment. Finally, he did so and she leaned forward into his back as he leaned back into her chassis, so that her spark was directly behind his.

"You know Elita?" she asked. Surprisingly, she wasn't angry, but she was sad about the possibility that Elita hadn't told her of Bumblebee.

A lot of it had to do with Bumblebee having a calming affect on her. His spark was in turmoil, but his presence projected a calm and assurance that reminded her of Optimus more than anything. She couldn't feel Optimus's spark, of course, but his presence had always been so powerful that these things emanated from him to all those around him.

She brought her right arm around him and placed her hand on his chassis over his spark.

"Just relax," she said.

"I don't know her," he said as he tried to relax against her, her spark projecting a soothing presence within his. She felt very much like the femme he had known so long ago..."I wish I knew Elita. Optimus told me during the AllSpark mission. Do you know her?"

"Oh, yes, very well..." Chromia concentrated on directing comforting sensations to Bumblebee's troubled spark without allowing his to comfort her own. She needed her pain. She needed it to keep Sunshadow close.

"Where is she?" he asked next.

She was silent a moment and then, "I don't know...We had to split up."

She didn't elaborate any further as she sent a small magnetic pulse to his spark from her right hand while her spark sent a pulse of soothing sensations through his frame.

Suddenly, Bumblebee felt the pain in his spark lesson considerably. A wave of comfort caressed and soothed his spark before it dispersed throughout his frame, leaving him feeling better than he'd felt in a long time.

"Whoah!" he exclaimed excitedly. "What was that?!"

"Shhh," she shushed softly. "Relax...It hurts if you're not relaxed. No one has ever done this for you before?" she asked, very surprised.

He shook his head, "No."

"Not even Ratchet?"

He shook his head again. She was confused for a moment. Did they not know about his losses?

"They don't know, do they?" she asked.

"No, I've never told Ratchet."

Primus, what was wrong with all these mechs? They all had secrets. She couldn't help but notice how well adjusted this young bot was, though, even though he had to deal with this on his own.

He relaxed into her as she did it again, the sensations relieving the first void he had experienced. She moved her hand over his chassis before pressing it firmly against it again, sending him another pulse that relieved the most recent loss. How could she pinpoint it like that? He marveled to himself.

"How are you doing that?" he asked.

"Since I have a spark bond with you, I can feel where you're hurting. It works better with someone you have a bond with, but anyone can do this for you," she explained.

He thought of her leaning against Ironhide, his hand over her chassis… "Is this what Ironhide was doing to you?"

"Well, yes, after a fashion," she answered. "It's different with sparkmates."

"What does it mean to be a sparkmate, exactly?" He had asked Ratchet about sparkmates once, but Ratchet didn't say much about it.

"Didn't Ironhide teach you anything?" she asked in annoyance at Ironhide as she sent him another pulse.

"He taught me how to fight," Bumblebee answered innocently.

She smiled, "Of course he did."

"Ironhide and I merged our sparks. He is exactly one half of me and I am one half of him. Because we did that, our individual sparks are no longer whole. The only way they can be whole again is when we are joined." As she explained this to Bumblebee, his optics grew wider and wider.

"Why would anyone do that?!" he asked, astounded.

"Out of love," she answered, shrugging. "Because when you find who you are meant to be with, you want to be a part of them forever."

"I didn't think Ironhide could love somebody that much," he commented.

Chromia laughed. "That's what they all said." Then she added, "There's more to Ironhide than you know." She nudged him playfully with her shoulder.

"Yea, so I'm learning," Bumblebee said, turning his head slightly, looking at her pointedly.

Realizing the meaning of his words, that there was, indeed, more to Ironhide than he knew, such as having a sparkmate, Chromia nudged him again.

"Yea, I guess that makes two of us," she said, as she certainly was learning a thing or two about Ironhide that she didn't know either, such as raising a sparkling on his own.

She sent a larger wave through Bumblebee, to encompass his entire spark, soothing both the losses at once. He jumped a little at the intensity.

"You should have told somebody. You don't have to endure this alone." She concentrated on the first void again.

"It's not that bad," he said modestly. "That one's been there my whole life. It got covered up when it got bad."

Covered up? Chromia looked at him suspiciously. That would mean that there was someone close by that had a spark bond with him, someone who knew how to fill the loss. Since the pain was back, perhaps, now, that someone was gone. She sent a pulse to his most recent loss. It was very recent, probably within the last few Earth years... She thought of Jazz again and wondered if the loss was Jazz, but, then, wouldn't everyone have known if Jazz had a spark bond with Bumblebee? That didn't make sense to her, since Ironhide said they didn't know where Bumblebee came from...

Her next thought was that, perhaps, he had a spark bond with one of the Decepticons that died at Mission City. She shook that thought away as quickly as it came. It was unlikely that one of them had been soothing Bumblebee's loss.

She didn't ask him about it, as she went back to soothing the first lost. A lost bond was very private. He may not understand bonds, but he knew who he was bonded to. He would tell her about it if and when he was ready. For now, she was content in helping relieve his pains.

"It was a femme," Bumblebee said as the pain dispersed from his spark.

"A femme?" Chromia was confused at first.

Bumblebee didn't even know what she was when he first saw her, so how did he suddenly know one of his losses was a femme? However, he lost the bond at a very young age. Perhaps, he didn't know the difference at that time.

"Yea, I realized it was a femme when I felt your spark. You remind me of her," he answered. "I don't remember much about her, but she used to sing to me. She loved me very much, I think. I don't even know her name," he continued sadly. "I can remember something about it, but it's my sparkling voice...something like...'Fi-yure.' I remember a little about her armor. It was a deep crimson color. There was something on it that was so shiny that I could see myself in it..."

Chromia stiffened as the recognition of who he was describing sank into her processor, "...with optics the color of her armor."

"How'd you know that?!" Bumblebee asked, his sudden alarm causing him to jump in her arms.

Chromia could suddenly see the femme clearly in her memory: The femme was watching over Chromia intently, scarlet optics meeting hers as she whispered, "Try and relax." There was yelling in the background, threatening, protective; it was Ironhide...

The memory faded. Bumblebee knew that femme...But, how? Could it be? Surely she would have told Chromia if she had been carrying a sparkling. Perhaps not, though; Chromia and Ironhide hadn't told anyone of their sparkling. Not even their closest friends knew about him.

The femme had lived a lot longer than any of them had expected. Perhaps, that had to do with having a sparkling. Chromia had originally thought that Bumblebee was too young to have been around during the time of Floatilla, but now she wondered if she had misjudged his age.

"She was a Decepticon," Bumblebee's voice cut through her thoughts, his words sounding like the cross between a statement and a question. He knew, but he wanted confirmation...

"She was," Chromia's voice trailed off as she tried to get over the initial shock that Bumblebee knew this femme.

"Am I?" Bumblebee asked, somewhat concerned.

Chromia held him as close to her as possible, "You aren't sparked into a faction, Bumblebee. You're born as a Cybertronian. You choose which faction you want to belong to." She sent him an extra soothing magnetic pulse to hopefully calm him as well as comfort the pain that suddenly spiked up from the femme's loss. "It looks to me like you've made your choice."

"Well, I don't think Ironhide gave me much of a choice," he retorted with a chuckle, accepting her comfort as intently as she gave it.

She laughed, "No, he wouldn't have it any other way." Chromia knew there would be no way Ironhide would have allowed Bumblebee to become a Decepticon.

Bumblebee couldn't bring himself to tell her that the second loss was a Decepticon too...the Decepticon...the very Decepticon that killed her sparkling. No wonder Ironhide had been in such denial for so long. He probably refused to believe it, that he could will the truth away by never even addressing it.

Bumblebee became extremely afraid that she would reject him if she knew, especially now. It was obvious that Ironhide hadn't told her. Bumblebee buried the knowledge as deep as he could. She wasn't asking about it. She wasn't pushing him at all. Perhaps he could tell her one day, but not now.

They sat in silence as Chromia finished the spark therapy that she had learned from the Decepticon femme that they both knew.

"Does that feel better?" she asked.

"Yes, thank you," he answered.

"It isn't a permanent fix," she informed him. If he wanted relief, he would need that help for the rest of his life.

She gently pushed him away and started to stand.

"Where are you going? Are you leaving?" he asked.

"I've got to ask somebody something." There was one bot that she knew of that possibly knew about how Bumblebee was related to the femme. "Don't worry, Bumblebee. Everything is going to be okay," she assured him.

"What about Ironhide?" he asked as she walked away.

Bumblebee felt a spike of anger from her side of the bond, but he knew it was most definitely directed at Ironhide.

"I'll deal with that fragger later," she said. Then she seemed to catch herself, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't speak like that around you."

"That's okay," Bumblebee shrugged. "I cuss all the time."

"So, I've heard," she gave him a sidelong glance. Like she was thinking, he had picked up all of their bad habits.

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Chromia entered the med bay, intent on finding Ratchet. He was there. He turned as she came in.

"Chromia!" Ratchet exclaimed. "There you are. I've been trying to contact you. I think I've found a way to replace..." He trailed off as he got a better look at her. "Good Primus, what have you and Ironhide been doing? By the looks of you, you two are not joining," he scolded harshly. "You need to join with him right now."

Ratchet started to call Ironhide and she stopped him.

"I wouldn't join with him right now if my life depended on it!" she growled, still very angry.

"Your life does depend on it, Chromia! What do I fragging have to do this time? You know how serious I am about this..." Ratchet growled back.

Ignoring Ratchet and his unconventional methods for the time being, Chromia hurriedly said to him, "He knew her!"

Ratchet paused...What? "He knew who?" he asked.

"Bumblebee..." she started.

One of Ratchet's optic ridges went up. It appeared that Chromia finally knew about Bumblebee. That was a good thing...

"Bumblebee knew her!" she continued.

"What are you talking about? Knew who?"

Chromia couldn't remember the femme's name to save her life. She hadn't been able to remember her own sparkling's name, and the memories of this femme were on the same damn chip. It looked like the femme's name was another casualty of her deletions. However, she remembered plenty.

"The femme who lost her sparkmate at Floatilla...The CMO...The Decepticon CMO of Floatilla. He knew her, Ratchet. Bumblebee knew her..."

Ratchet slowly took a step back as she spoke, not bothering to hide the surprise and shock from his faceplates. He slowly sat down, his legs becoming weak as they were no longer able to hold up his weight. No one had mentioned this femme for a very long time.

Ratchet knew her, very well. In the short time that she had spent with them, she had made a larger impression on his life than any other Cybertronian he knew. It now appeared that she made a large impression on all of their lives.

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