Incubation
Part 20

Whether it was the wind and steady drum of the rain, or his own body that kept Kanda slumbering peacefully at his side, he didn't know—but he did know that his dark haired partner had finally returned to a constant resting state. The previous days since he'd been able to really see Kanda again had featured the stubborn Asian make refusing prolonged rest. His argument, of course, had been that all he'd done in Allen's absence was sleep. Not that his statement regarding that was untrue; but Allen didn't really deem it sufficient enough of a reason to not pester him into resting as frequently as he really needed. Kanda's body was doing him no favors, so he really was pleased to see him as he was—curled beside him.

Admittedly, the steady storm brewing outside had nearly put him to sleep as well. It was his thoughts alone that kept him from joining Kanda in the state of unconscious drifting. If anything, he really had slept too much. Constantly by the other's side, Allen had taken to Kanda's sleep pattern and it was starting to look like a bad thing—given that Kanda slept for most of the day if allowed. The other half of the day was spent listening to Kanda gripe about not being able to do the things he could before. It seemed some things weren't going to change; but really, Allen preferred it that way. It was the Kanda way.

He gave his attention to the stained glass window, watching drops of rain slide down the panels. The way midday light poured into the room, made it seem like colored spots of light were being painted along the cold brick walls. It gave the room a calming feeling: both in physical delight of a serene atmosphere and mental refreshment from everything stressful and hectic. In truth, this was the perfect thinking weather, and thinking seemed to be the only activity he really felt like doing when he was accompanying his sleeping lover.

Besides, he really couldn't see himself knitting sweaters or anything.

His mind drifted itself to many things; but as always, the thoughts ended up turning right back around to Kanda. It should be embarrassing just how much he thought about him, but it wasn't like he could really help it anymore. That especially held by the fact that Kanda was carrying his child…children. Warmth flourished in him when he thought about it. It was both a terrifying and wonderful thought. It was terrifying because he really had no idea what he was doing and there was Kanda's life somewhere at stake. Then it was wonderful because it was something completely theirs and apparently 'god' hadn't damned them for it. Actually, the thought of his tiny unborn children left him with feelings that he didn't dare reflect on his face where Kanda could see—because Kanda would have an aneurysm to see just how…happy it made him.

There was no solid reason why, either. He just was. Perhaps he the one taking whatever their relationship was a bit too seriously, but it was because he really wanted it to be. Even from the beginning, he could admit to a selfish desire to have Kanda and it probably made him some kind of super masochist—because it wasn't a secret that Kanda was mean, especially toward him. The unforgiving and cutting personality had been what captured Allen, though. This was someone who wasn't beating around the bush or pretending nothing was wrong. Because there was always something wrong with Kanda and he made damn certain all of his gripes were known. Unnecessary feelings and thoughts weren't gushed without deep thought and self validation, though. Kanda was careful, meticulous and guarded. He was essentially everything Allen wasn't.

From the very beginning it had sparked interest, but playing with fire is only fun when there was some degree of control of a sanctioned flame. Kanda was a wildfire; blazing and dangerous.

It wasn't until their missions had led them back together, travelling to Saudi Arabia—where they had spent at least two weeks in each other's wanted and unwanted company that it turned into anything less than sizzling hatred. Kanda didn't want to be with him. He didn't want to exist around Allen. However, Allen had wanted to be around him. He wanted to be in the presence of the beautiful, yet frightening exorcist.

Thinking back on it, he wondered how he would have reacted if someone had come from the future and told him that he would end up in such a predicament with Kanda. He'd probably laugh and then quickly beg the person never to speak such things again in case Kanda heard them and thought it was something he was saying. Back then, or rather before then, he was pretty sure Kanda would have rolled him on the floor and sliced him up like Sushi.

He supposed that it was most fortunate that they had been stuck in the bone dried ravine after the Akuma attacked them. Well, at the time he didn't think it was so fortunate and neither did Kanda because the dark haired exorcist was the one who broke his fall after they tumbled a couple dozen feet down into a deep crack in the earth. He was pretty sure he heard a snap when he landed on Kanda and to that very day, that man still swore Allen didn't actually break any of his bones.

The truth had to be that Kanda just really didn't want to admit he broke bones to save Allen from dying of that fall. Unlike Kanda, Allen probably wouldn't have been able to get up after a fall at the velocity they dropped down. In fact, Allen still blacked out and he had a cushion of Kanda's body under him. Though, he was certain Kanda was just trying to get Allen off his back after hours of him haggling him to make sure he was alright.

That was just how Allen was. He didn't think he would ever get to a point where he didn't haggle people about their safety when it was obviously a thing to be questioned, but even less with Kanda—and especially now…now that he really had fallen into a deep, dark and never ending pit of affection for the man. It was actually kind of funny, all things considered…that he compared it to falling into a deep, dark anything—because they really had fallen into a deep, dark something.

Sometimes he wondered if Kanda ever thought about that. The several days they spent stuck together in the deep ravine—walking, hiking and trying to find a spot they could climb out—were really trying on both of them at the time. Both of them were injured—though Kanda progressively better as the days passed—and neither of them were feeling very enthusiastic about coming out to the middle of nowhere only to find no actual Innocence. His 'partner' was in a constant state of agitation and he himself really couldn't stand the silence. It was a deadly combination, because every time he spoke it would piss the Asian man off. That, of course, resulted in nothing but arguments and bickering that would last until they would eventually find the next place to lean up on and crash.

It was funny, thinking about it then, because now Allen was more than happy to hear Kanda's silence if it meant sleeping. When they were stuck in that empty and mostly dark space, all he wanted was to hear Kanda. All he wanted then was for him to stay awake so he wouldn't feel alone. Now they were both as silent as the world around them. Though, this time it was under entirely different pretenses. They were comfortable and together as lovers instead of as enemies who had decided to get personal for the sake of filling the lonely void that they both some how realized the other had.

That's truly the only explanation that Allen had ever come up with for it. Kanda had been lonely—that much was so clear that it hurt. He was lonely too. But he wondered if Kanda knew that, or if he even cared. It didn't seem like something he could really care about, but there was so much he really still didn't know about him. The puzzle that his partner was, was one that he would be putting together…probably forever. Slowly, pieces revealed a fresh new part to him and Allen was glad to be the first to see it at least.

Just like when he made that one mistake of kissing him while he was swearing him off. That sort of silencing method was so lame that it hurt him now to think about—at the same time of it giving him a pleasant fond feeling at the memory. Just a handful of hours before they had finally reached a point they had been able to crawl out, he had just had enough of Kanda's attitude and he'd backed him up against the stone cliff wall. It had earned him a really strong left swing, but he didn't care—actually he was impressed Kanda's left was that strong of a hook.

Had that been what started this?

Hmm. Maybe not, maybe so. But it had been what started something. Well, he considered that what started everything. It was so vivid in his memory, anyway. Perhaps he was just over thinking it, but it had to have a reason for sticking in his mind. That entire mission had been something so outside of normal that he would stay fresh for a while, no matter what, anyway.

Three days walking a ravine had done a number on both of them mentally and physically. It brought a smile to his face, subconsciously, when he thought about their very first action once they had finally gotten to the closest town after that. Even as hungry as he was, he'd submitted to the warm embrace of the large bed that he and Kanda had to share. Not even the closeness with him had shaken Kanda out of his willingness to sleep at that moment. They were both too tired to give much of a damn and they were pretty much fed up with the coldness of the desert.

Part of him lamented that they had chosen the coldest part of the year to travel there and then get stuck in a snaking pit in the desert. It had felt like he was being slowly frozen…until the sun would come out and warm up just a bit…but really, not enough given that they were in a crack and hidden from the sun. That was one place he wasn't looking forward to going back to and definitely not in the hot months when he really thought they would die out there.

At the same time of lamenting it, he kind of thanked it. The two of them had slept curled up in the same bed because they were both nearly frozen and being that close to Kanda had been like some kind of weird dream. He felt like a creep just thinking about that. That he considered it to mean more than them just sharing a bed of necessity was something he was never going to tell Kanda. He could creep on Kanda all he wanted then, as they shared partnership; but before…that would be just about as off the wall as Kanda smiling.

Which, Kanda smiling was still off the wall.

He leaned against his arm, propped up on his knee and he lost himself in the pleasant thoughts that probably shouldn't be considered as pleasant as he thought them to be. Just the way everything played out, ultimately resulted in this and he regretted nothing. He didn't regret waking up, literally tangled with Kanda. Limbs curled unceremoniously and the two of them nearly molded together. Whether it was the warmth from being cold for so many days or just the way they both felt upon waking [or possibly mutual insanity], he really would never be able to determine…but they had woken up and stayed that way. Neither of them had recoiled and they just remained as they were, until they fell asleep again.

The second time they came back to reality, though. It didn't end that way. It ended up with much less clothing and a lot more heat between them. Allen was still not sure exactly how that happened or why. There was no way to really explain it away. There were no offhanded excuses he had either. At least when they woke up and innocently went back to sleep, he could just say they were both half asleep and thinking they were dreaming. But when they woke up and peeled away each other's clothing [and innocence], they pretty much tossed all reasonable explanation out the window.

Fortunately, they had been alone, so answering to someone else just wasn't in the equation anyway. It didn't change the fact that they could no longer explain it away to themselves. Somewhere along the way, Allen had stopped looking for excuses however; but Kanda was not one to come around easily. So while he had quickly accepted that he had slept with Kanda…well, his partner in crime was long time moping about it until it became impossible to pretend it hadn't happened…

…and impossible to resist doing it again.

And they did.

They did a lot.

It all seemingly started with sexual tension or some other kind of physical attraction, but he really believed that at the core it was a lot less primal. He knew he was attracted to Kanda's personality in some twisted way and Kanda had always seemed more electric around Allen. Lavi had once told him that Kanda never acted like that around others he didn't like. He was always cold and aloof; but for some reason, Allen was different.

The way Kanda burned under his fingertips was one of those things he would never forget. In the cool, stale room, they were on fire and smoldering together and it didn't feel any bit wrong at all. In fact, his body seemed to mold to Kanda's in just the right way and he thought at the time that even if it never happened again it was an experience that would remain branded into his body for a long time. Well, it turned out a long time actually meant forever for him; because even as he sat there in the bed—quietly thinking—he could remember the sensations on his skin.

Absently he ran his hand along Kanda's side. Just to feel him there by him. All because of one mission really and this was his. No matter how many times he really thought about it, it still seemed like too much of a stroke of luck for someone like him. Well, really it wasn't just the one mission—but that mission was the start. That mission opened the door and he let himself walk through and eventually he managed to bring Kanda through with him.

"Hmm," a sound erupted, shattering the serene silence of the room—yet it wasn't unwelcome. As much as he enjoyed the silence for thinking, he also enjoyed the sound of his lover stirring beside him. It didn't matter whether he was stretching to wake or just moving positions to fall back into a slumber; he always seemed to emit those low mumbling groans that Allen secretly thought were cute. With a smile, he left his hand warmly on Kanda's side, fingers sliding just a bit off his hip.

At some point, regrettably, he would have to wake Kanda and bring him to Cross for the usual check up. Today, he just wished he could curl with Kanda and his thoughts alone and forget about seeing that old man for one day. Just them together felt perfect. He felt a mixture of happiness and guilt. Guilt because he had this at that moment. He had something many others wouldn't have or would never have. It was probably something he didn't deserve, but that didn't stop the appreciation.

Motion at his side reminded him that Kanda was still likely to come back to reality and he waited to see if that was what was making him move. It appeared so, from the way Kanda started to inch up on the pillow—a strange trait of his that signaled return to consciousness.

It was actually more fortunate that Kanda stirred on his own as opposed to him having to wake him from a dead sleep. Kanda's once light sleep had become much deeper as time passed and he became a hell of a lot meaner upon waking—making Allen want to curl back every time he had to actually bring the sleeping beauty out from his peaceful slumber. "Kanda?" He whispered tentatively. "Are you awake?"

"No."

Well that was a prompt response, Allen chuckled to himself and rubbed the man's side again. "Oh well, I'll see you when you wake up then."

"If I don't kick you out of the bed," a low, mumbled response came from the fluffy end of a pillow. While the man couldn't lay face down directly, he seemed to find ample ways to twist his body so that he could get parts of him facing that direction. Though, Allen was sure he was going to suffer from kinks in his neck. To which, Allen would have to roll his eyes and listen to him complain about.

Really, he loved that though. He loved it more than anything. He loved it all so much that it hurt.

He loved Kanda so much that it hurt.

Leaning back against the wall, he snickered a bit at the way Kanda really looked like he'd just flopped over and laid there like a log. It was so sloppy and ungraceful and somehow cute to him. Of course, nothing about Kanda would ever be spoken as cute; but damned if he wasn't thinking it. "You can't kick me out of the bed facing that direction, Kanda."

"I do what I want," the grumble came back once more and Allen leaned a bit to see Kanda's face—eyes still closed and probably still more than half asleep.

"Is that so?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Kanda?"

"Yes..."

"I think you're still sleeping."

"Yes…"

"Kanda, no."

"Hmm, yes…"

He chuckled to himself, a little bit too amused by his ability to have a conversation with Kanda in his sleep. Of all things this man could and couldn't do, he learned that yes and no questions were his specialty while sleeping if he was caught in the right level of sleep. "I love you, Kanda."

"Hmmn…yeah…"

And Kanda turned a bit, laying more up on his pillow than he had before. So much for him waking up. Allen supposed he'd be having fun with the fire breathing pregnant dragon known as Kanda, later. For now…

He was just going to smile and watch the rain make colors dance across the room while Kanda muttered a few answers to nothing in his sleep.

Even if for just a moment, his reality was perfect.

To Be Continued…

A/N: Hopefully I haven't lost anyone! Sorry for lack of updates. I'm planning to change that soon though. Incubation has become my NanoWriMo project. Hopefully I can pump out chapters during this next month.

On this particular chapter, I know there wasn't much in regards to dialogue, but I really wanted to give a little depth to their background without a "flashback". I hope this was the successful approach and I hope you guys are still enjoying it, even if I seem to take my sweet time! I can't believe this story has been reviewed over 500 times. You guys just all like to watch Kanda suffer too, don't you?