Chapter Nineteen: The Day After

Marina Bradford had been beautiful, smart and a brilliant mother. What she hadn't been was independent. She enjoyed taking care of people. In a way, she was dependent on it. Being a good wife and mother made her feel useful. She'd given up girlhood dreams of becoming a dancer for the life Michael had offered her. In loving him, she'd lost a little part of herself.

For most of her life, Emma had been reckless. She was wild, unruly and sometimes a little dumb. Taking falls out of trees and having flings with art students were just some of her stupid achievements. After all, she'd grown up with everything she would ever need. The issue of money never troubled her. If she wanted something, they could get it. Emma had therefore been desperate for ways to entertain herself.

Four years ago her mother died. Emma had been twenty-six and more than a tad useless. She'd been out of college for two years and the most she'd accomplished was a few bowls and dreams of one day becoming a real artist. Unbeknownst to her, she'd been following in her mother's footsteps exactly. If things had been different she probably would have married well and raised her own children. It didn't happen that way.

She had found her mother lying on her bathroom floor, dark eyes completely empty of the warmth they'd always held. Everything changed. Emma had called the emergency numbers, answered every question put to her carefully and concisely. Marina was declared dead and taken away. Once the house was empty she curled up in the bathtub, quietly sobbing. Gone were the days when she sought comfort or someone to make her world all right. She was done.

Emma stared down at the carpet she could see from her curled up position on the couch in Josef's office. She was wearing his shirt, her slightly damp hair clinging gently to her cheeks. Emma sighed quietly and let her head rest on her knees. Maybe it had been the panic of turning thirty that made her want to be stupid one last time. Although with Josef she'd been stupid multiple times in the last month. She gradually closed her eyes, seeking answers in the darkness.

It was probably because she hadn't wanted the responsibility. When she finally slept with Josef, and it definitely would happen, it would alter her entire world. Emma didn't know how to be in a real relationship. She'd never seen one work. So maybe she'd hoped that if she were on black crystal when it happened, she'd be able to enjoy the experience without paying the inevitable price. That was so stupid and immature. A wry smile curled her lips. Maybe she wasn't that old after all.

She slowly got off the couch and made her way toward the window. The sun had risen about half an hour ago. Josef would probably be in his freezer a while longer. Emma could slip away, avoid his calls and just pretend it never happened. Instead she leaned against his desk and continued to stare out at the view. There was a deep, tired feeling in her soul. Tired of running, of fighting. Tired of being alone.

In the early morning light, she admitted a few things to herself. Emma was more like her father than she wanted to recognize. She had an iron will, pride and when she set her mind to something she did it. Losing her mother, painful or not, had made her that way. The second thing she needed to own up to was the fact that her heart was just as loving as her mother's had been, loving and determined to love Josef. Fighting that wasn't going to get her anywhere. So she'd tell him.

"Josef, I love you," she murmured, testing the words on her tongue.

"That was a better good morning than I'd expected." Emma nearly tripped on her own feet she spun around so fast. Josef stared straight into her eyes, searching them for a moment. She was completely incapable of speech. She had inadvertently cracked open her heart for him to inspect. What did a woman do in situations such as these?

Damned if she knew.

"I didn't think you'd be up this early," she said, taking deep breaths so she didn't hyperventilate.

"I'm glad I was." Josef had only been asleep for a few hours. His office was fitted out for occasions such as last night with a freezer and a few extra clothes. He occasionally slept there, losing himself in work and business. Once Emma had fallen asleep Josef had wanted a long, cold rest. He hadn't gotten it. Instead he was awake early enough to hear her quiet confession. "Care to say it to my face this time?" She wrapped her arms around her stomach as she tried to hold herself up.

"Josef," she whispered, heart trembling in fear and hope. "I love you." Somehow just saying it made her feel less tense.

"Good." Emma frowned slightly.

"Good? That's it?" He walked towards her with that old, arrogant smirk on his face.

"Perhaps that wasn't the best adjective. Fantastic would be better." He took her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm. "Amazing." Josef looked into her eyes. "I love you." She didn't get a chance to form a response, not that she would have been able. He kissed her softly and curled a lock of her dark hair around his finger. "Now," he murmured after her brain had turned to mush. "Tell me what last night was about."

"Last night? Oh. That." Emma rested her head on his shoulder, surprised at how well they fit. "It was sort of like a last hoorah. I'm thirty today."

"Are you indeed?" Josef smiled, letting his hands roam down her body. "We'll have to celebrate appropriately, then." Emma's first impulse was to withdraw. She wanted to go back to her protected world and to rebuild her shields. It was too late, though. She loved him, she'd told him. It was time to actually live her life instead of burying herself in her art and her business.

"That's definitely the best proposition I've had all week," she told him, rising up slightly to kiss him. Josef took possession of her mouth and gave her a much more intense birthday kiss.

Hours later Emma stared up at the ceiling of her apartment while Josef committed every detail of her body to memory. Out of all her birthdays, this definitely ranked in the top five. Oh, who was she kidding? It was number one.

"That freckle is very well-placed," Josef noted, gently tapping the dark spot directly between her navel and her hip.

"Okay, now I know you're distracting yourself," Emma said as she propped herself up on her elbows. "You haven't fed all day." He quirked a brow.

"Are you offering?"

"Maybe," she murmured, blushing slightly. "It's just that it would be hard to explain yet another mysterious wound on my neck." Josef smirked.

"I don't have to take from your neck." He moved lower down her body. "Or your wrist." Emma gulped. There was only one other major artery she could think of and he was heading straight for it. A moment later her eyes rolled backward in her head as her fingers tightened on the sheets.

"Christ," she whispered, muscles low in her stomach growing hot and tight. She didn't mind losing some blood. The trade-off was more than worth it. Another hour passed before she could think coherently again.

Josef tended to her thigh, halting the bleeding. He dropped a kiss on the skin just above the bite. Emma knew she had a stupid smile on her face. Copious amounts of sex with a vampire apparently had that effect on her. "I'm glad I fell in love with you before we did this."

"Why?" he asked curiously, sliding a hand up to her hip.

"Because I would never know whether I loved you for you or your skills in bed," she explained. "Four hundred years have made you more than proficient, just in case you didn't know." Emma hooked her arms around his chest and hauled him up beside her so she could cuddle against his chest. "How long do you think I'm going to smell like you?"

"Forever if I have anything to do with it," he muttered. She poked him in the ribs and rolled her eyes. "It'll take more than a shower, if you know what I mean."

"Well, you'll probably brag to Mick anyway and Ellen is too shy to be judgmental," Emma said reasonably. "Is there anything else I should know about sex with vampires aside from likely blood loss?"

"Well, it's always better if you do it more than once a day," Josef told her, running his fingers through her hair.

"Is that so?" she murmured.

"That's so," he whispered in her ear.

"We've done it more than once unless I started hallucinating at some point." Josef chuckled.

"You poor humans are so fragile." Emma pressed a hand to his chest, raising an imperious brow.

"Fragile? Oh, I'll show you fragile."

And she did.