The day after the miscarriage, Jefferson had hoped that Karenina would have stayed in bed and rested. She tossed and turned and he knew that she was tired and he hoped that she either just broke down crying or slept. Anything would be better than the silence he was facing.
He'd forgotten who he married.
He had tried to hold her last night but she pushed him away. She claimed it was too hot in the room to snuggle and he didn't push it. He'd seen his wife through plenty of moods but he'd never seen her grieving before. He frankly wasn't aware of what to expect and so he was prepared to spend the day handling her with care.
He dozed off and on as well and tried to be alert in case she needed him.
And because he worried about the nightmares he would have. He had been looking forward to her having the baby as much as she was and now her words about not being able to have children played over and over again in her head.
The sunrise broke through the window and he felt his wife roll over, pull up the back of his shirt and kiss him up his back, like she always liked to do, "I have to find some work to do."
The words hit him full force and he sat up, "What?"
"There are people that need my help," she stood and began dressing. She wouldn't look at him. He tried to get up and see her face but she turned it away and pretended to be gathering some weapons, "Family's that will lose loved ones if I don't respond-."
"Karenina…," He felt the words catch in his throat, "Karenina…don't. Rest today."
"There's no point in resting," she snapped, "There's no point because I'll think about it and there's nothing to think about anymore. The baby was there and now it's gone."
She still wouldn't meet his gaze. He grabbed her shoulders gently and she looked at him, "It's not that simple."
"It is," she said and closed her eyes as if she was struggling to hold herself together, "We knew this would happen. I told you as much when we got married. I destroyed my body too much in my work for it to be healthy though to carry a child. My work always comes at a price and that was mine."
He shook his head, "Karenina, it wasn't your fault."
"It is."
"It's not!" he protested angrily, "Don't think that it was. These things happen, we'll have another baby. If we have to, we'll go to Rumpelstiltskin."
She pulled away as if he'd burned her, "I won't have that imp touching me. I've seen what his magic can do."
Jefferson ignored her and put his hands on the side of her face, "I promise you that we'll find a way…if you want this baby as much as I do then we'll find a way. And if we can't then we'll adopt-"
For a brief second, her unemotional face crumbled just a bit and he wrapped his arm around her. She buried her face in his shoulder and gripped him as tightly as she could. She started sobbing and he held her tighter. A tear slipped down his face in his own grief and he realized that he'd never seen his wife break down before…not like this. He wasn't even sure that he'd seen her cry.
She pulled away and wiped her tears. Within milliseconds he watched as she straightened up and her wall was built.
"I have to work," she said and kissed him, "I'll be back in two days."
He closed his eyes and felt her pull her hand out his.
They brought her back five days later.
On a stretcher. Half dead.