HALF LIGHT.
Elena turned on the radio and put the kettle on to boil. A pleasant and simple melody of Rhapsody In Blue by George Gershwin. The sun shone brightly through her small window and as she sat at her kitchen table, her eyes strayed to the light glare of the star. Elena took her teacup in her hands and admired the small decorative ornaments upon it, then put a spoon of sugar in and the peppermint tea bag. After that Elena picked up her book and without even the hint of a smile began reading. The furnished white kitchen had wooden accents to it, which gave it a cozy atmosphere. There were shelves for books, which had a surplus of them, many jars, filled with cookies, pasta, grains and any other utilities, a shelf of tea boxes, each with its own flavor and design. It was clear by the look of it, that this was Elena's kitchen. However, the girl that sat by the table reading, the beautiful, young, 22 year old honey brunette, was Elena no longer. Turning the pages with her slender fingers Elena's dark brown eyes followed each word, with her face displaying such intensity, that there could be no doubt of her inner unhappiness. Elena had everyone fooled. There was no one who believed she was even remotely unhappy. A smile upon her lips at all times and her charming attitude directed towards everybody, she set out into the world, so there was no doubt about her positive outlook on life. But in the privacy of her own apartment, Elena sulked at every given moment.
Her diary was too full. Notes were jumping and sticking out of every end, so with nowhere to put her thoughts she was stranded in her own mind. It had been years ago, but it still troubled her even now. The love of her life, her only love. That night he had left and never come back. There was now silence in her mind as she remembered the times they had together. Elena stood up and walked tea in hand, to the window and looking out at the marvelous Paris skyline, swayed in the rhythm of the song. Damon Salvatore had shown had a completely different world, had offered her everything she could have possibly wished and wanted, but she had been too much of a child to understand anything. Now, standing in her small apartment, indulging in the view and her beverage, Elena felt the guilt rush through her like a cold streak of ice. Every time her mind wandered off to thoughts of Damon, Elena wanted to cry and just wish for him to find her again, despite everything that happened between them. But he never did. All these years for Elena seemed absolutely pointless. Of course she had finished her studies and was now at university, but for what if her heart was not at rest and reeled for someone she had lost because of her stupidities.
The smell of maple syrup filled the room as Elena added the last touch to her pancakes and taking the plate went to her living room and sat with her book as she ate. There was a knock at the door. Elena thought to herself that she looked absolutely unpresentable in her pyjamas and unbrushed hair, but she went to open it. There stood Caroline, joyful and excited, holding an envelope in her hands. Elena gave her a false smile and let her come in. Elena retired to her sofa and Caroline sat down beside her, unable to speak, apparently because of some very interesting news.
"You will never believe where we have been invited to go to tomorrow night!" Caroline squealed. Due to hers and Elena's friendship she had decided to come to live in Paris with her. They now studied at the same university and Caroline was Elena's only friend, "We have been invited to the Ecrivain du jour!" Caroline said, unable to contain her joy any longer. A year after Damon's sudden departure, Elena had released some of her short stories and they had become quite acknowledge and she now counted as an official writer, which permitted her to go to writers events. This was one of them and it was one of the very exclusive and eligible ones. Elena sighed at the notion that she would have to leave her cozy and secure apartment for a night, but seeing Caroline's anticipation she realized she could not say no.
"I'm sure it will be a wonderful event and you will meet many handsome writers," Elena said with a smile. Somehow Caroline had cheered her up, "Meanwhile, can I finish my lunch?" Caroline looked at the plate of stacked pancakes and looked incredibly disappointed.
"Elena, you know I have always minded the fact that you never told me who broke your heart this way, but it has been years and you are still here avoiding life. You are wasting it. There is nothing worse than spending such a splendid autumn day at home with pancakes. You simply must come outside and that is an order," Elena looked disapprovingly at Caroline, even though she knew that Caroline was right, but Elena simply couldn't muster the energy to socialize and smile and pretend that she felt like there was something left to enjoy. Caroline kept staring at her with an eyeful look and Elena finally nodded.
After getting dressed they quickly rushed out of the apartment and outside. It was spectacular. The streets were once again covered in striking colours and were so vivid that it was a pleasure just to look at them. The air smelt of autumn and it was so fresh and vitalizing that Elena felt quite alive again. The only trouble was that she had no idea how long that feeling would last. Caroline dragged her to La maison du chocolat and they bought some pralines which they later enjoyed in the park.
"Elena, I must go now. I have a date to rush to, but promise me you will stay outside for even just a while longer," Elena smiled and nodded and as Caroline left she remained on the park bench. Elena tilted her head back and admired the brilliant and vibrant branches above her and when she looked back down, she saw a figure in front of her. The man was far away, but he looked so familiar. Then he turned around and Elena was faced with a huge disappointment. Hoping that was Damon and then finding it wasn't was not what she needed at all. Once again a slight depression overcame her, but Elena decided that things would be different now. Life would be different. Her character must change, for she was not doing any good to anybody.
Elena rushed to the nearest librairie and bought a new diary with bright red velvet covers. She sat down on a settee and wrote desperately; I feel in my heart that something is changing, whether for better or worse, but finally change is upon me. Years and years have been my enemy. The constant state of sadness and silence, but no longer. This is me. I will attend an event tomorrow and I will be this new self with whom I have little acquaintance yet, but despite that this person, this character will let me be charming and fun. There is no reason to lose my sanity anymore. It is time for me to mend my heart and let it be.
Damon opened the great white window. The valet stood behind him and muttered something in French about the serving of breakfast, but Damon didn't listen. Him being back in Paris brought back a lot of memories. Some of which he would gladly forget, but they were nevertheless there. Damon closed the door behind the young man and then lay down upon his bed. He had forgotten how beautiful autumn was in Paris. After spending years living in Tuscany, he had delighted in his share of sweltering heat and was glad to be back in a city with seasons, where winters were chilly and summers were pleasantly warm. Damon got up and decided that there was work to be done. He had promised he would meet the editor the day he arrived in Paris. During these years he had worked for several small magazines and had now jumped at this wonderful job opportunity in his favourite city. Damon made a call and then decided to change. He put on his black trousers, white shirt and blazer and after surveying himself noted that he looked good enough. Then he took his briefcase with his articles and slowly headed to the office, enjoying the superb autumn weather along the way. It was still early September, but leaves had already taken to their usual actions, but the weather still remained warm and pleasant.
"Damon Salvatore. I have heard quite a lot about you. We appear to have friends in the same circles," A man still in his prime stood in front of him and spoke in a very criminal French accent. He looked Damon over from head to toe and from his look judged him to be a very decent man, "This isn't even an interview. You're hired, I just wanted to see you in person," Damon raised his eyebrow. To him this seemed very suspicious, but then again who was he to complain.
"That is very kind of you, but are you sure you don't want to…"
"Non, ca va. I know who you are and that is enough. Tell me, would you like to go somewhere tonight, because I would like to introduce you to some of my friends," Damon grinned and nodded, "Excellent! Marvelous! I will send a car for you at huit, okay?" Damon smiled and shook his hand and then left feeling a bit confused by their encounter, but nevertheless happy with his new post.
Elena curled her hair whilst eating a croissant. It was quite strange how she had come into the habit of eating when nervous. Caroline was running all around her and trying desperately to get ready, whilst Elena sat, calm and composed, and admired the sunset from the kitchen window. Finally the girls were ready, Elena wearing a gorgeous pink and Caroline in a charming cerulean dress. They set out, walking, to the location and Caroline seemed surprised at Elena's candor and new found positive attitude. They reached the gallerie at which the event was being held and went in without a problem. Caroline immediately ran towards someone she knew, leaving Elena standing alone. Trying to overcome her awkwardness Elena smiled at the passersby, but she could not receive more than a smile out of them. Finally she was approached by her publisher and they had an ordinary and rather obligatory chat. Elena took a glass of champagne and after her publisher left, she took a turn around the room, observing the artwork.
Damon arrived in the dark car and felt too important because of it. He and Antoine, as the editor was called, went inside and were momentarily approached by many people all wanting to meet him. Damon still couldn't comprehend what was so incredibly important about him, a lowly journalist, previously professor. Whilst Antoine talked on and on, Damon surveyed the room and at once noticed someone. There was a young girl by one of the art works. Her hair a beautiful chocolate brown curled and groomed, in a rosy dress which accented her best features. Damon's heart stopped. For a moment he could heart nothing but his own thoughts. To him it was incomprehensible how they could be at the same place the first night he was in Paris. Suddenly the girl walked away and disappeared behind a corner. Damon woke and realized it might not even have been her, although the resemblance was striking. Then again he had previously imagined he'd seen her before. In Tuscany, in Venice, in Rome. Elena had been everywhere with him.
Damon was handed a glass of champagne and he decided to leave his current company, which bored him with too much talk of politics. He strolled slowly past the artworks and admired each one of them. Stopping to finish his drink, someone bumped into him. As he turned swiftly around, there were no words for how he suddenly felt. Staring back at him were the dark brown eyes he had longed to see for years, however they expressed pain. Damon looked at her completely speechless. They were strangers. Strangers in love. Damon tried to speak, but words bewildered him and escaped him completely. To his surprise Elena, however awkwardly, embraced him lightly, as if embracing and greeting an old friend. Damon smelt her strawberry hair and so many smaller and somehow unimportant memories came back to him.
"Elena," His voice awoke. There still wasn't a clear thought he could express. Elena looked at him, smiling, but sad and tried to appear cheerful. If there was one person she could not fool, it was Damon.
"Damon," Elena said quietly and once again embraced him, with all her heart. It seemed impossible how one could miss a person so much. Elena's heart was now at its peak of happiness and joy. To her it seemed as if they were friends, because love had been too painful and now her friend was back and there was little she could do to keep her merriment to herself. Damon now smiled. They stood for a moment, simply smiling at each other, observing how each of them had changed. Damon breathed in and said;
"You look absolutely beautiful," Elena blushed and her rosy cheeks now complemented her rosy dress. Damon smiled at this gesture and then proposed they go and sit down. After sitting down, neither of them could still speak. A word would seem meaningless compared to the emotions and sensations they both felt.
"All these years, did you remain in Paris?" Damon finally asked. Elena simply nodded and observed the room. She was looking for Caroline. Her friend had completely disappeared and now, she wanted to introduce her to the love of her life, although perhaps not exactly in those words. As Damon sipped his champagne Elena remarked Damon's good looks and his look of wisdom, both of which had increased significantly since last she'd seen him. Elena turned away, afraid of her bluntness and her eyes found Caroline. Caroline saw her immediately and approached her confidently. Elena stood up and Damon followed her example.
"Caroline, you remember Damon Salvatore?" Elena smiled like nothing was more important than him.
"I do, yes. Well this is quite unexpected meeting you here, isn't it?" Damon smiled and nodded, "Are you a writer then?" Elena suddenly seemed silly, that she hadn't asked him why he was here.
"I am yes, of some sort. I have just been accepted in a position today, previously I wrote for a magazine in Florence," Damon sipped his drink and he smiled. Elena was pleased to see him smiling and enjoying himself.
"Did you know that our Elena is a writer herself? She has even had stories published and they have been well received," Elena blushed and could not even look at him, because she was unsure if he had read them or not and they were obviously about him. Damon on the other hand felt painful guilt run through him as he realized he had not even read her stories. If only he'd known, he would have been the first to buy them.
"I didn't know, but that is absolutely wonderful," He tried to compensate for his indecent manner, but to his surprise Elena appeared relieved. They shared a loving look and suddenly Caroline turned quite surprised and serious. They all stood and talked for a bit and then Elena and Caroline decided it was time for them to leave. When Caroline left to find their coats, Damon approached Elena and trying to appear very composed proposed they go out for a friendly coffee at some time. Momentarily, uncertainty set in and Elena began to doubt what she must do. Nothing would disturb her more than coming upon the same path they had walked before and come upon a crossroads which parted them for years. However, not wanting to be unkind to this forthcoming Damon, Elena told him it was a superb idea and they arranged to meet the day after tomorrow at Le Fumoir, and then Elena left.
Damon tried to arrange his thoughts, but the more he tried, the more consistently he failed. Once again, the only important thought he had was Elena. The girl he had left behind was now an accomplished young woman, who now had looked even more beautiful than ever and had been even more delightful than he remembered her. But despite his love that was still more alive than ever, he himself could not forget what he'd done and how he had acted. There was no forgiving him and he didn't expect Elena to do so, just to be near her was enough for him. To feel her empowering ideas and notions inspire him made him feel like a better person. The way she'd greeted him tonight made him feel hopeful, perhaps too much, for he knew he didn't deserve even a shimmer of love from her. Damon sat down in the large armchair of the hot bar and drank a glass of the finest brandy they had. He smiled to himself remembering Paris. It had been a wonderful time in his life and he would never want to forget it and the person he spent it with.
Elena sat down next to Caroline, who watched her intently. Elena shrugged. Then Caroline let out all she'd been keeping to herself;
"Damon Salvatore? Really, Elena? No wonder you could not tell me! He was your teacher. Oh my goodness. I will never be able to keep it myself. I don't understand how you could expect me to. I do see that he is charming and handsome and all things wonderful, but it is so very wrong. Of course now it is all right, but it is not just now, is it? It was then! That's why you left! With him! Oh my goodness, I am losing my mind over this. Why couldn't you spare me this secret?" Caroline finally ran out of breath.
"Caroline, let it be. It is over and we are simply very good friends,"
"I saw the way he looked at you Elena. He loves you more than words can say and you love him. What on earth happened for you not to be together anymore? I've read your stories. I now know they are about him. How come your love did not survive?" Caroline looked at Elena questioningly.
"It did. We just needed time to see what we'd left behind," Elena said with a smile and then tears ran down her pink cheeks in streams, leaving crystalizing drops upon them and making Caroline feel for her. Caroline embraced Elena.
"I've always found it ridiculous to cry from happiness, but now there is nothing else left to do," Elena whispered and then stood up and walked to the window, where she sat down on the sill and stared out into the lights and imagined the events that would follow and tried to understand what she should do next.