A/N: I know I don't usually do songs but I had The Scientist by Coldplay playing on repeat while writing this so that fit the mood. Just a suggestion.

Chapter 20

She remembered when she got these red pumps. It was a splurge that Isabelle had convinced her to go on, customers like a little danger, she had said which flicking her new whip. Clary's stomach twisted at the thought of Jace as a "customer". He had a session with her once but it felt different from the other ones she had. So why was she wearing these shoes? Her toes clenched, but the material resisted the movement just as her legs disobeyed her mind's desperate pleas to turn around.

She was betraying him in the worst way, just by being here.

"Tell me what really happened," Will said as he paused from his pacing to glance at her. Clary glanced at the room around her. It was so much like the Will she knew, pizza boxes strewn all over the floor and papers reminiscent of the final papers they had in high school, hastily piled on every surface. It seemed so much like the old Will...before this.

"I don't know what to tell you." Clay confessed, looking at her interlocked fingers

."Don't lie to me Clary, do you know how serious this is? You could be sighted as an accomplice!" Will snapped. Clary bit her lip. She didn't know why she couldn't say anything, Jace was a horrible person right? Why should she protect him?

Clary had felt the judgement in their eyes as she walked to the elevator, the security guards already recognizing her and giving her a wary glare. Clary could feel her neck straining as she held her head high, blinking back the sudden blur in her sight. She regretted wearing the pumps the second her steps echoed throughout the lobby. They drew too much attention to herself. But she was used to the judgement weighing on her everywhere she went. Or she should be.

Luckily no one was in the elevator with her and she rested her head against the wall, suddenly out of breath, trying to absorb what had just happened.

"Let's start slow, how did you meet?" Clary swallowed, this was the secret she never wanted anyone to find out. The deepest, darkest part of her, exposed that night to a complete stranger that kept coming back.

"I was walking home..." Clary told that part of the story, with a shaking voice and shaking hands. Her voice turned hoarse as she described the bang that was swallowed by the night. She couldn't look at Will as she spoke of the clean up on the body, and how she had met him at the river, had looked upon his watery grave and tried to forget that boy, had tried to until she saw the poster and then tried to forget him again. It was the words coming out of her mouth, the events she was telling that she realized the twist of disgust that lingered in her stomach. She was a coward. She ran away. She ran away and now she was paying the price.

"Shit Clary! You're an accessory to murder!" Will groaned as he ran a hand through his hair. "Even if it was initially in self defense, you plotted to hide the body with a wanted criminal no less!" He sat down, rubbing his temples. "Look, if you cooperate with us, maybe...just maybe the state will consider a lesser sentence. Just tell me everything Clary, everything." Suddenly, Will wasn't Will anymore, he was the F.B.I agent, he must've realized what Clary just realized, there was no mercy for cowards.

The ding of the elevator doors closing made Clary feel trapped even though she stood in the most spacious foyer in the city. The burning red of the sunset illuminated the pale tiled walkway to the door. This was familiar. Clary couldn't help but miss those times, she was ignorant and free but she couldn't forgive herself for being so.

Will listened tensely as he stood, leaning on the wall. Clary dredged up every detail about the visits to the club, about her stay at his apartment but also about the school, and the one bright day they had spent together- untainted by darkness. It had made Clary realize how little of those she had in her life. She found herself telling Will about Jace finding out about her mother, closing her eyes as she ran a finger over her neck through her turtleneck sweater.

Her hand gripped the curved door handle. She shouldn't be here. She knew that. will had warned her but she found herself here anyway, in these stupid heels, wanting one last look. Wanting a goodbye for once in her life. She closed her eyes, relishing in the last moment of peace before turning it and pushing the door open.

There was a moment of silence as Clary finished her story. Will pushed himself off the wall and sighed. "Jem is currently removing Tessa from your home and she will be placed in Witness Protection until the trial."

"Trial?" Clary whispered.

"You will be asked to be a witness...you've basically confessed everything to me Clary. This can't just go away...you need to testify against the Herondales."

"I didn't...I never wanted to get involved."

"I know...and I'm sorry but you are."

"So you've forgiven me? That was easier than I thought...some say you might do that too easily." Clary could smell the acrid scent of alcohol in the room. She saw Jace, tipping the last of the contents in the glass bottle into his mouth.

"I haven't." She hadn't realized how old Jace looked, how broken he was.

"So what the hell are you doing here?" Clary didn't answer as she gently pried the bottle out of his hands. His hands listlessly to his sides as he stared emptily into space. Clary picked up his fingers, feeling how cold they were, how big they were compared to her small ones. Her hands were scratched and cut. She had to use some force to slip out of Will's watch. "You're warm." His voice was muffled as he buried his head into the couch.

"I wore a coat, winter's coming." Clary threw the afghan onto them, smelling his scent mixed with expensive cologne. She closed her eyes, trying to imagine how this would all change. Jace would be ripped away from everything he knew just because of her, this broken, beautiful boy.

"Hey...what's wrong?" Jace noticed the moisture running down her cheeks.

"I should be asking you the same question." Clary laughed as she quickly wiped the tears from her face, cursing herself, she couldn't allow herself to give anything away.

"Stop the crap Clary...what the hell is going on?" Clary bit her lip.

"I came here to tell you that I...I do care about you." Clary sighed, "I care more than you know."

"My offer still stands," Jace said, sitting up suddenly. "We can move from here you know, New York isn't the only city in the world. We can go anywhere, anywhere you want. No one can ever find us if you want, we can be anything, be under the sun- where you belong." Clary could imagine it. A life, a peaceful life in the heat, in the light, with Jace. She could taste the exotic foods of every nation, feel the grains of sand slip between her toes on the beaches in Greece or paint the colors of the sunset in Norway. It was the kind of life she dreamed for, the kind of life anyone would dream for.

"I can't Jace...I just can't run away like that. I came here...I came here to tell you goodbye." Jace stared at her with alarm.

"W-where are you going?"

"I'm not going anywhere Jace...but you are. That's why I'm telling you I'm sorry." She kissed his fingers, feeling his skin graze her lips. That's when the door was split open.

Then Clary realized, this wasn't betrayal, this was redemption.

0 - 0 - 0 - 0

Isabelle let him in. "Your body would have attracted rats when you die of hypothermia." She wanted to curse him, wanted to break his glasses, wanted to hit him and break that idiotic nose of his. Why? Why did he have to wait out there for nights? Why the fuck did he care so much? He stood awkwardly in the doorway, wondering if he could come in. "Do you want to die of hypothermia? Because if you do, I can recommend a continent halfway across the world from me." Isabelle snapped, "if you don't, close the fucking door."

"I'm here to tell you I'm sorry." Simon breathed.

"Yea I got that from the puppy dog look in you eyes...is that all?" Isabelle tossed the takeout boxes in the trash, grabbing the bag more aggressively than needed and tying it tight.

"Why do you do that? Why do you always have to insult me and push me away?" Isabelle laughed bitterly.

"I thought you'd be used to it rat-face."

"Does anyone even know who you really are?" Simon hhad reached the end of his rope, fed up with her games.

"One, only one person and that's Clary whose about as fucked up as I am. It's only been just us- me and Clary and now she's gone off and done God knows what with some asshole. This is what you signed up for when you decided to swoop in and 'save me'. Let's get something straight Simon,you're not my prince charming or my knight in shining armor. I already know that's bullshit. I honestly don't know why you're here. You apologized, now leave."

"I love you." Simon blurted out," I don't know why but i do. Your crass and impulsive and you have the worst potty mouth ever but you are so much more than that...I can see it Izzy."

"Don't." Isabelle stopped and closed her eyes. "Don't call me that." She sighed, "You say you love me? Well that's just fan-fucking-tastic. I've heard people say that while I'm giving them lap dances so excuse me if those words don't really mean shit to me. You might want to rethink them though because you can't handle me. I am about the most fucked up person you have ever met and don't you dare give me that shit about how 'challenges make me beautiful . Because they don't, they just make you realize how ugly the world is, how everything seems to crush the innocence out of you like it did to me and now I'm trying to save the last of it in Clary. She's still good, she still believes in the good of strangers, in the good of the world and as naive as that is- it is the only beautiful thing in my life. Walk away Simon, because I will tell you now- I will never trust you. I will never love you."

Simon didn't say anything as he stepped out of the apartment and slammed the door.

A/N: I know I haven't updated in a long time but I'm going to finish this story. Excuse me if I don't post for a while, there was the hurricane and I really hope that everyone else who was affected is safe.

But anyway, this story will probably end in the next two to three chapter...just to tie everything up. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for reading!