Hi all!

Apologies for the delays with the updates, there's not really an excuse, I'm just rubbish!

Chryed are back on tonight, so I can't wait!

I'm also very much behind recent events in this fic, so apologies for that! I'll get it up to date ASAP.

This chapter takes place the day after the last chapter.

xoxoxo

Syed POV:

Christian's been like an excitable puppy for the last few hours. He left early this morning, and when I woke up and he was gone, I panicked slightly. Then he walked through the door with the biggest smile on his face, with a handful of brochures about how to go about getting a kid. He's been talking at sixty-miles an hour non-stop on the walk to the cafe, all the way through the wait for my egg sandwich, and now we're walking towards the Square and he's still talking. Although I personally think he's cute when he rambles on, we have only just agreed to talk about it, and I can feel myself panicking in the same way as I used to when he was trying to rush me into telling my family about us, all those months ago.

"Christian, we've only just discussed this. I think we should just slow down," I try, and immediately I can sense his mood fall that little bit.

"Yeah, but I'm excited." I know he's excited, and I know he wants us to move our relationship to the next stage, but truth be told, I'm still trying to get my head around the idea of raising a kid with him. I want to do it, God knows I do, anything to make him happy after everything I put him through, but I'm still having trouble reconcilling this idea with the ideas of my faith that have been drilled into me ever since I was old enough to understand.

"I know," I sigh, already feeling defeated. When Christian wants something, he's hardly one to stand around and let it come to him. He likes to go out and grab it with both hands.

"Slow down?" he asks, and I can hear the smallest hint of sadness in his voice. "Yeah, I can do that. Alright, you best get off to your massage class, daddy number one!" He leans in and peck my lips, while I let out a chuckle.

"You realise that makes you daddy number two?" A frown crosses his face, and I can see that he hadn't thought of it in that way.

"Yeah, might have to work on that!" He laughs, and in that moment, he seems so carefree and happy, that I feel guilty that I'm the only thing standing in the way of him getting what he wants. I frown to myself and decide to try my best to reconcille my wants and my faith as quickly as possible, so that I can make him happy.

xo

Christian POV:

I know Syed said he wanted to slow down, but I just can't help myself! I'm so excited that he's said yes, that I can't seem to stop myself from researching and planning and things. I know it's been hard for him to agree to this so readily, and that he's still trying to come to terms with being openly gay that this must seem like another thing he has to try to work around his faith, but I've wanted this for so long, and to do it with him, the love of my life...it's just hard to contain myself. I'm moving boxes into Roxy's for Tanya and Greg, singing to myself as I go. It seems nothing can bring me down today, not even Roxy sulking because I'm helping those she deems her 'enemies'.

"What's with the singing?" Roxy perks up from the sofa, and I stick my head around the door to make sure Tanya or Greg isn't hanging around.

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Haha, no!" Yeah, it was a stupid question, but you never know, she might have said yes.

"Sy's said yes!" I couldn't keep it in any longer, I just had to tell someone.

"To what?" She has a blank look on her face, and I laugh at her internally. Typical Roxy, never paying attention to anyone else's life, but expecting everyone else to pay attention to hers.

"Having a baby!" She laughs, moving up on the sofa to let me sit down.

"You know you need a woman for that, right?" I laugh.

"We're gonna get a surrogate. But not right now cos we're taking it slowly. Very very slowly." Too slowly for my liking, really, but I'll do pretty much anything to keep Syed on side with this.

"So you're really gonna do it?" She sounds surprised, almost as though she never expected me to have the guts to talk to him about it, never mind go ahead with it.

"Come on, you were the one who told me to talk to him about it! This is a good thing. Be happy for me!"

"I'm happy." I pull her into a hug, and I think about how lucky I am. I've finally got the man I love, and now we're planning this family together. I don't think things could be more perfect than they are right now.

xo

Syed's been on his massage all day, so I've cooked for him. Nothing special, just some spaghetti bolognaise, but I thought the gesture was nice. Then he called me to say that he was going to be late home because he was going to mosque and then meeting Tamwar, so I felt a bit put out. Instead of moping around the flat because I'd been stood up, I decided to go to the pub with Roxy, who got decidely drunk because of the mess her life was in. She was in such a state, I was surprised she could even remember her own name.

"Come on," I pulled her up off her bar stool. "Let's get this lost dog home." She put up a fight, saying that she wanted to go out clubbing, but I'd just recieved a text from Syed saying he was on his way home, so I told Roxy we'd do it another night, when she'd actually be able to get into some of the clubs. I wrapped an arm around her waist and supported her out of the pub, knowing full well she'd have a banging headache in the morning.

"You'll always love me, won't you Christian?"

"Course I will!"

"Even when I'm really...really old and wrinkly and my boobs are hanging around my ankles?" I laughed at the image, and then quickly pushed it away, shuddering internally at the thought.

"Even then."

"Stay."

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere," I said, confused.

"You will!" she sobbed. "You will, one day, you won't decide it, you'll just go away and then what?"

"I can still see you."

"I know, but not as much and I'd really hate that!" Wow, Roxy was emotional tonight. And all over a gravy boat! "You're the best friend in this lost dog's life!"

"And you are very drunk," I stated. I'd stayed somewhat sober, not wanting to be falling all over the place when Syed got back.

"Yeah, I am really, really drunk!" We laughed. "Best friends forever, yeah?" I entwined our little fingers together.

"Best friends forever." I pecked her on the lips. "You gonna be alright from here?" She nodded and placed her head on my shoulders. "Go on then," I laughed. "Night babe."

"Night." I turned and walked back across the Square, deciding to meet Syed off the Tube and walk him home. I liked turning up and surprising him like that. I vaguely wondered if the spaghetti bolognaise would be able to be salvaged, or whether we'd have to get a takeaway.

"Christian?" I turned back to see Roxy leaning against the pillar.

"What d'ya want now, you old bat?"

"I wanna have your baby." I laughed.

"You really are drunk!" I turned to walk away again, but she pulled me back.

"No, I mean it. Christian, I wanna be surrogate for you." I looked at her in astonishment. We were best friends, sure, but I had never even considered the possibility of Roxy being a surrogate for me and Syed.

"You'd really do that for Sy and me?" She nodded her head. I couldn't think of anything to say, so instead I just pulled her in for a hug.

xo

Syed POV:

Christian sounded a little pissed when I called him to say that I'd be late home, but I knew that he understood. Any time with Tamwar was a blessing to me; it was almost like having a little connection to the rest of my family. I'd hear him talking about how dad had had this great new idea for the business, and how mum was still on his back about something, or how Kamil was getting more and more confident in himself every day, and it was almost enough to dull the pain I felt whenever I thought of them. Almost. Because nothing could ever really replace the family I'd lost, not really. Having a family with Christian...maybe that would be enough to block it out. Maybe I'd be so happy because he was so happy that, in time, the fact that my family had cast me out wouldn't hurt so bad, or matter so much. Maybe this idea, Christian's idea, was a good idea. In an instant, I couldn't wait to get home so that we could talk about it some more. Maybe even start to make some plans - small plans - but plans, all the same.

I bounded down the stairs when I got off the Tube, and didn't notice Christian waiting at the bottom for me until I was almost on top of him.

"Hey!" A smile broke out onto my face immediately, in the way that it did whenever I saw him. "What are you doing here?" I had barely gotten through the barriers before he was in front of me, taking hold of my hands.

"Look, I know you said you wanted me to slow down, but I just can't. I wanna have a baby with you, and I wanna do it now!" He sounded so desperate that it took my breath away for a moment. Surely, since I had been coming around to the idea more and more throughout the day, and he was so clearly desperate to do this, it was a sign. Maybe this was Allah's way of telling me that this was the right thing to do?

"Okay, well let's go to that agency, set up a meeting -"

"We don't need to." Christian interrupted me, and I knew that he could see the confusion which I knew was etched across my face. He stood to the side and I saw Roxy for the first time, standing behind him, in the corner. He nodded to her, and she came and stood beside him. I was sure I knew where this was going, and I was sure that I wouldn't like it.

"I'm gonna have your baby!" She was drunk, I could tell this much by the way she slurred her words.

"She's gonna have our baby!" Christian sounded so excited at the prospect that it was hard for me to understand correctly at first. Christian pulled me into his side and hugged me hard, and I put on one of my fake smiles for them both. Roxy, having our baby? I didn't like this idea one little bit. I thought that, at least if we got a surrogate from an agency, we wouldn't know her, and she wouldn't be around us all the time, watching us raise her child. But Roxy...she lived across the Square, she was Christian's best friend, for whatever reason. We would see her everyday, and she would be free to interfere in our lives whenever she wanted, which she would do, because she wouldn't be able to help herself. If she had Christian's baby, it would be yet another relationship which would be only between them, and I would feel even more pushed out than I already did whenever she was around. I couldn't see a way through this which would lead to an uncomplicated situation. And I didn't see a way that I could convince Christian that this would get complicated...