Peggy sat in her room, having given up on reading her book on the terrace. There was a knock on her door, and she called out to let whoever it was in.
The door swung open, and her very best friend in the world stood in front of her, a big smile on her face.
"Hi English!" She said cheerfully.
"Angie!?" Peggy exclaimed with surprise, instantly feeling how much she had missed her friend, "It is so good to see you!"
Peggy could not help herself as she leapt forward and hugged her friend.
"What are you doing here?" Peggy asked.
"Mr. Jarvis called and offered me a trip to D.C. Now, how could I turn that down?" Angie explained with a smile.
That sneaky butler, Peggy thought, knowing very well why he had called Angie.
When they parted from the hug, they looked at each other. Now standing closer, Angie could see that Peggy was carrying some sadness in her eyes that was eating her up. She recognized the look from before she knew that Peggy was an agent, and Peggy would come to the Automat with a haunted look in her eyes, having something she wished she could share but obviously could not.
"How about the two of us take a drink to celebrate me being here?" Angie asked, her smile still in place.
Angie dug into a bag she had left by the door and took up her bottle of schnapps.
"The rhubarb pie couldn't come on the trip, but I got this!" She exclaimed happily.
Peggy had never been a fan of schnapps, but she could not think of a more perfect drink for them to enjoy at this very moment.
Angie pulled at Peggy's arm to drag her to the small sofa by the window.
"Was L.A. as amazing as this place? I bet the weather was better. Did you have a pool?" Angie asked as she poured the drinks in some glasses meant for the bottle of bourbon that Mr. Jarvis had supplied with the room.
"Yes, it was quite hot, but it is a dry heat. And yes, Howard did have a pool - And a flamingo!" Peggy told her friend, seeing Angie's eyes growing wide by the mentioning of the flamingo.
Peggy gave a small laugh at her childlike behaviour. Her friendship with Angie was sometimes a surprise to her, as Angie was the complete opposite of herself, or maybe she was a part of a younger Peggy that she loved to hold on to.
"That sounds amazing!" Angie said as she took a sip of her schnapps, looking up at Peggy while drinking to evaluate her state of mind, "So why are you so sad then?"
"What do you mean?" Peggy asked perplexed.
"Don't try to deny it, something is clearly up with you. I know that you can't tell me all about your work, but you can't carry it all either," Angie's eyes drilled into Peggy's.
Peggy sighed, the weight of her inner turmoil rushing over her, and she did not have the energy to come up with a lie.
"Angie… I do not know where to start," Peggy sighed and took a sip of her drink to clear her head.
"Make the story short and the point precise," Angie said, waving a finger in the air as if it is was a magic wand with the answer to everything.
"Story short... During my first case in Los Angeles, Daniel and I got… closer…" Peggy started.
"Oh my GOSH! Peggy, I am so happy for you!" Angie jumped to conclusions.
"Yes, it is very nice," Peggy could not hide a smile at the thought of her and Daniel. However, Angie caught on to the hint of melancholy in her voice.
"But not all nice?" Angie asked.
"Well, uhm, this thing happened, where I went on a mission with Chief Thompson, and we…" Peggy was trying to be forward, but saying it out loud seemed to make it worse, as she feared how Angie would react, not knowing which reaction she should be hoping for.
"Oh, Peggy, you didn't…," Angie said, again jumping to conclusions, not hiding her disappointment in that particular conclusion.
"No! No, not that!" Peggy exclaimed and quickly explained, "We had to come up with something in order not to get caught, so we kissed – pretended to be a couple accidently in the wrong place. Nothing more!"
"Ah…" Angie said, thankful that her first assumption had been wrong.
For a moment, silence filled the room, both women drinking from their respective drinks and thinking about the words that they had just shared.
But then Angie realised that she had not even heard the details of the problem and said; "But, what's the problem then? Sounds perfectly innocent to me."
Peggy looked away, not sure how to explain what she was feeling. Luckily, Angie could also jump to the right conclusions.
"Oh, Peggy. You felt something, didn't you? When you kissed Thompson? A bit of butterflies and fireworks, huh?"
"I don't know what I felt. But it was something, and it was different from what I feel with Daniel. And before that, Chief Thompson and I had had some talks, where he was being kind of nice. And now I can hardly think of anything else despite this case – And I have uncovered something very personal and big, which I cannot tell you yet as the case is ongoing – but it has pulled the rug out from under me, so that is also mixed up with all these other feelings, and I feel like I cannot feel myself anymore because of it all. I only know that Daniel is a good man and I do not want to hurt him and he deserves better than this," Peggy started rambling, and she only stopped when she felt water filling in her eyes for all her inner frustrations.
"And Thompson isn't a good man?" Angie asked carefully.
"He is a good man, but he is also a condescending asshole," Peggy answered with a small laugh which Angie just smiled knowingly at.
"Does Thompson have feelings for you?" Angie asked.
"I don't know. I don't think so," Peggy said in a resigning laugh, "We have not talked about that night. There is just something about him that has changed, something in his eyes…"
"Peggy…" Angie sighed, starting to realize Peggy's problem. It was not just a choice between two men but between two sets of values and the fear of not being loved in returned if she gave up the safety of her newly found potential love, "I cannot tell you what is right for you. But I do know that what is the best for you, is not always the same as what you need. Sometimes, you need something that kicks you in the bum to make you get back into gear, or something that holds your hand even when you don't want it to. And even though it feels wrong at the time, it's exactly what you needed. So, you need to figure out what you need, not what is right."
Peggy could not help herself anymore and let tears stream down her face in silence. She felt as if she was betraying herself. Daniel was such a good man. He was everything that she felt that she deserved. But she had to admit that even though he made her happy – very happy – he did not excite her. Something about the way that Jack Thompson could make her blood boil with anger or defiance made her feel more alive than the soothing peace that Daniel gave her.
Angie leant towards her friend and put her arm around her shoulders, giving her a sideways hug while putting her head on Peggy's shoulder.
"Don't overthink it, English," She whispered, "If your head thinks too loud, you won't be able to hear your heart."