December 2015

Scully sat on the couch at her mother's house on Christmas evening listening to the laughter and music coming from every corner of the room. Dinner had been eaten and everyone was enjoying another beverage of their choice. Scully held a near empty glass of wine and smiled as she looked at the people gathered together this evening.

Bill and Tara were unable to make it again this year. Not wanting it to be a sad or quiet affair with it being Louise's first Christmas alone, Maggie invited Louise, her two children, their spouses and children, and her brother Jack to share Christmas with them, to ensure that she was taken care of.

Louise's children, Marcus and Annie had been friends of Scully's since high school. In fact, she was very much in love with Marcus when she was a senior. They dated briefly, and attended prom together senior year. The story she told the faux Mulder about that night, was still something the real one teased her about.

Annie and her now husband, Paul, were there that night. Annie still harbored anger toward Sylvia and her stupid prom date for building such a huge campfire and embarrassing them all by the need to ride back on that pumper truck.

Marcus married a wonderful woman and their kids were adorable, especially the new baby. Scully held him many times during the day, staring into his big brown eyes. He smiled and cooed and she sighed behind her own happy smile. He was a good baby and she could not help but feel the sadness of missing William. She thought of him every day, but the holidays were the hardest.

Scully looked up to see Annie coming over and joining her on the couch. She looked at her and Scully smiled. "You doing all right, Dana?" she asked.

"I'm okay, yeah," Scully replied, smiling still.

Annie was always the coolest person she knew. She never backed down from a problem. She always stood up for herself and was not afraid to speak her mind. Scully was tough and she would scrap with the best of them, but there was something about Annie that was different. She was simply Annie and no other description was needed.

She and Scully would sneak out at night when they were in high school, a bottle of Annie's dad's alcohol in the backseat of her car. It never mattered what kind of alcohol it was. It was sneaking out and sharing it that made it so memorable. Annie smoked sometimes on those sneak out nights, but Scully never did after that one time she snuck the cigarettes from her mother's purse. The taste had put her off of them forever.

One night, when they were both back from college for the holidays, Annie picked her up and they went driving around, free of the burden of school for a little while. Pulling into the deserted parking lot of a state park, Annie took out a joint and for the first time, Scully tried smoking pot.

They sat in Annie's car and talked about everything and nothing, sharing the joint between them. They sat for hours giggling and then sitting on the hood of the car, staring at the stars and wondering about the universe. When Scully could be trusted to not dissolve into loud giggles, they headed back home.

Annie and Paul got married when she and Mulder had been working together for almost a year. It was a crazy wedding, with a story poor Paul never lived down, worse even than the dreaded pumper truck story. He passed out and needed a few minutes to recover before the wedding could proceed. Someone also brought a dog that bit the drummer. Scully helped see to his bite, which was superficial, and Annie walked up and handed her the bouquet, much to the abject horror of the other bridesmaids. Everyone still teased Paul mercilessly about that story and he just shrugged and smiled.

Annie was now a caterer, and she loved it. She offered to make the Christmas meal as a thank you to Maggie for hosting the day, and Maggie had eventually agreed, but with the firm knowledge that she would clean it all up. Scully knew that was not going to happen, and she had been right, not with all the younger hands available and willing to help.

"So you're still enjoying your work at the hospital?" Annie asked and Scully nodded.

"It's hard at times, but seeing a patient recover and flourish when they may not have without the help, is truly amazing," Scully said quietly.

"That's great. I always knew you would do amazing things with your life, Dana," she smiled and Scully smiled back. "I heard about you and Mulder." Annie said quietly.

"Ah, well that's not surprising," Scully sighed.

"I'm sorry you aren't together anymore. Have you … been seeing anyone else?" Annie inquired and Scully laughed.

"Annie," Scully said, shaking her head. "It's … I … saying it's complicated does not come close to describing our relationship. He's … no. I'm not seeing anyone else. I honestly don't think I could." She sighed again and rubbed at her forehead.

"Are you two talking then? Trying to work things out?" Annie asked kindly.

"We text and email, but haven't spoken in a while," Scully said, and she decided tonight would be the night that ended. She would call him and extend the olive branch and see what happened.

"I'm really sorry, Dana. I wish there was something I could do to help you," Annie said, squeezing her hand. "You wanna get stoned?" They both laughed loudly, and Scully squeezed her hand.

"Thank you for the offer, but not this time. I haven't done that in many years, maybe since we did it last time," Scully said, remembering when they had, in Annie's first apartment, laughing and de stressing from finals. "You know, you're the only person I've ever done that with, to this day, both times. God, what a wild life I've lived huh?" She shook her head and laughed at herself.

"Well," Annie laughed as she stood up and Scully joined her, walking into the kitchen to put her wine glass on the counter. "If you change your mind, make sure you let me know." Scully smiled and nodded, pulling Annie in for a hug. She held her tightly and then stepped back. "I hope you and Mulder find your way back to each other. I really like him."

"Me too," Scully said quietly and Annie smiled, squeezing Scully's hands. She sighed and they left the kitchen.

"I'm gonna get going, but it was wonderful to see you again, Annie. Your family is, as always, beautiful. Your food is delicious and you have done great things with your life as well," Scully said with a smile.

"Stop, you're gonna make me blush," she said with a roll of her eyes and Scully snorted with laughter. "Go on, get out of here and call that handsome man and talk to him." She gave Scully a look and she nodded.

"See you later, Annie."

"Bye, Dana."

Scully made the rounds and said goodbye to everyone, gathered up her gifts, and headed to her car. She put her bags in the backseat and got in, starting the car and letting it warm up. Taking out her phone and being sure the Bluetooth was connected, she set it in the holder. Her stomach turned nervously as she thought of actually speaking to him. It had been so long since she had and she missed the sound of his voice.

Driving away, she had a sudden crazy idea to drive over to the house and see him face-to-face. As fast as it came, the idea left her. She felt nervous enough with just a phone call, seeing him now …

She drove for a few minutes before getting the nerve to press the talk button on the steering wheel.

"Say a command."

"Call Mulder," she said, and took a deep breath.

"Calling Mulder, cell." The phone began to ring and butterflies took up residence in her stomach. One, two, three, four rings and the voicemail recording came through the speakers.

"This is Fox Mulder, leave a message."

She heard the beep and the words she was going to say got stuck in her throat. "Uhh … it's me. I'm … leaving my mother's and … I wanted to tell you Merry Christmas. Maybe you're out ... I don't … umm. Merry Christmas, Mulder," she stammered and hung up. God, that was embarrassing.

"Jesus Christ," she murmured to herself. "First time calling after so long and you garbled your way through like that? You fucked that up so badly." She shook her head and felt like calling Annie and taking her up on her offer to get stoned, hopefully forgetting that phone call ever happened.

Silence filled the car as she drove the rest of the way home. What a stupid idea to call in the car anyway, she thought, shaking her head again. She should have waited until she got home, she only had about fifteen minutes to go. The rest of the drive home, she chastised herself for her stupidity.

Pulling into her parking space, she turned off the car and put her head on the steering wheel, still so embarrassed. She leaned back, put her head on the headrest, and her phone began to ring. Jumping at the sound, she looked down to find Mulder's name on the screen. Her heart flipped as she reached to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Scully? It's me," he said quietly and tears sprang to her eyes.

"Yeah, hi. Did you … hear my message?" she asked, praying to all the saints that he had not heard it.

"Message? No, I uh, just saw that you called and …" he trailed off and she let out the breath she was holding, and sent up a prayer of thanks.

"Well, do me a favor and just … erase it when you get a chance. It's … just erase it, okay?" she asked and heard his low laugh.

"That bad, huh?" he laughed, and she groaned.

They were both silent for a few seconds that felt much longer. She could hear him breathing, and she closed her eyes, missing him so much.

"So, you coming back from your mom's?" he asked. "Your brother in town?" She smiled despite the tears in her eyes.

"Yes and no. Bill isn't in the country this year, again. My mother invited her friend Louise and her family over instead," she said as she wiped her eyes and leaned against the headrest again. "It was good to see them again."

"Louise? It sounds familiar, have I met her?"

"Yeah, her children, Annie and Marcus, and I went to high school together-"

"Oh, do you mean the Marcus? Pumper truck, Marcus?" he teased her, and she laughed softly, tears still in her eyes. "Did he wear his cummerbund?"

"Yes, and I'm wearing my moire taffeta dress. His wife really appreciated the walk down memory lane," she said sarcastically causing him to laugh. "I regret ever telling you that story."

"I think you mean retelling me the story," came his standard reply. "You know, since the first time you did, I didn't hear it." She sighed and waited, knowing there was one last thing he always said. "Because it wasn't me you were talking to that night."

"I never should have told you that was what we discussed," she sighed again, but with a smile on her face. She heard him chuckle softly and she closed her eyes.

They were quiet again and though not uncomfortable, there was so much that remained unsaid. She knew what she wanted to ask him, but did not want him to think she was calling just to nag him.

"You there, Scully?" he asked quietly.

"I'm here," she answered just as quietly. "How are you, Mulder?" She held her breath and waited, finally asking him what she really wanted to know.

"How am I?" he asked, his voice remaining low. "I'm … I'm okay, Scully. No reason to worry about me."

"I do, though," she said, barely above a whisper. He took a breath and she waited again.

"I'm doing all right, Scully. Better than … before. My therapy sessions have ended and … I'm doing well," he told her. "I wouldn't have believed at this time last year that I would have said any of those words, but it goes to show how much it has helped." He laughed softly and she exhaled a short breath.

"Did she … are you still taking your medication?" her apology for not worrying about the sexual side effects running through her mind. It was on the tip of her tongue to say it, but felt it was not the right time.

"Still taking my meds, Doc. Told you, no need to worry," he said, and she could hear his smile.

"I'm glad to hear it, Mulder," she said quietly and he hummed his response. Quiet again and this time she broke it. "Well, I just wanted to … check in, wish you a merry Christmas …"

"Yeah. Merry Christmas to you too, Scully," he said quietly and she knew she needed to hang up before she burst into tears.

"I'm on the early shift tomorrow, so I should be calling it a night. I'll talk to you soon?" she said, waiting anxiously for his answer.

"Yeah," he breathed. "We'll talk soon. Thanks for calling, Scully. Good night." And he hung up, without waiting for her answering good night. She sighed and opened her eyes. Putting her phone in her bag, she took the keys from the ignition and began to gather up her things.

Hers arms loaded with gifts, she headed to her door. She dropped everything in the entryway, took off her coat, and put her keys in the bowl. She picked up the bags and put them in her room to deal with tomorrow. Changing into her coziest pajamas, she brushed her teeth, washed her face, and got into bed.

Replaying their conversation in her mind, she tried to find any signs of anger or annoyance. Finding none, she thought of it from a different side and found nothing but acceptance and the possibility of moving forward. She would call again on New Year's and maybe they could watch the ball drop together, like old times. Yet different, as they would not be together. Sighing with a smile at the possible thought, she turned over and fell asleep.

That New Year's call never happened. She tried, repeatedly, but he did not answer, nor did he return her calls. She tried the next couple of days too, and still no response. Texts went unanswered, as did emails. Finally, a few lines were sent her way.

Doing okay, Doc. Don't worry. Just needed some time to think about some things.

She tried not to worry, tried not to be furious with him and go back to her life and doing what she loved, but he set up his claim, as he had always done and she sighed. She did that a lot in the next couple of days, until a nurse walked in and stopped her heart with a few simple words.

You have a phone call … He says his name is Walter Skinner. Assistant Director, FBI.