{Chapter Nineteen}
When I woke the next morning, I was alone. Troubled, I slung off the twin blankets that covered me and began to dress hastily in my leather tunic and pants. I yawned, unable to help myself, and wondered just how late in the morning it was. Once I had my boots on, I climbed over the busted wall of the hut and looked around, searching for Dox. When I saw the location of the sun in the sky, I was shocked. It wasn't morning – it was early afternoon!
"Sleep well?" Dox's low voice sounded behind me and I turned to watch him as he carried a stack of cut logs upon his shoulders. He was without his leather tunic and I could see his pale skin sparkling with sweat in the bright sunlight. His ebony hair was pulled back and overall he looked extremely attractive. It took me a moment to come back to my senses and answer his question.
"I did." I smiled at him as he walked past me and plopped his burden down upon a larger stack of logs. I could not help but raise my eyebrows at this. "You've been working hard." He brushed his hands together and stepped to me, enveloping me in an embrace. I marveled at how much easier it was for him to display affection and touch than when I first had met him. It seemed like ages ago since that time!
"I thought perhaps we might have to remain here longer than a day or two, so repairing the hut might be a good idea." He pulled back so that he could talk, but did not release his arms from around me.
"How did you get all of that wood chopped?" I stared at the logs, noticing they were not chopped smoothing like an axe or saw would do.
"I have the ability to do things like cut wood." He grinned at me. "I am mighty and powerful indeed. A log slayer I am!" I was unable to do anything but look at him in surprise for this was the first time he had shown such humor and openly smiled. He noticed my expression and inquired, "Cecilia? What is the matter?"
"You…. You smile so easily lately. You seem happy though you've had so much happen to you. You're different than when I first met you on the ship." I shook my head in amazement. He was quite a man.
"You have done this to me. You are the cause." His smile continued and grew. "I love you and I love the way I feel when I am around you. My heart swells within me and it gives me happiness to know that I am loved by you."
"I… I don't know what to say." I was touched. My heart ached from the love it held for him. And to hear him express how I felt was overwhelming.
"You do not have to say anything." He leaned in and pressed a kiss against my lips. And another. And soon all thoughts of repairing the hut were put aside as he lifted me into his strong arms and carried me inside.
It took a few days to repair the hut enough to where we didn't have to huddle together by a fire to remain warm. I didn't let Dox use his magic bring us warmth, using that as an excuse to have him hold me to keep me from freezing. I had no idea that it could get so cold in the night, but I suppose the Korcari Wilds were on the outskirts of a frozen wasteland so the frigid air could have come from the south. It was actually quite cozy once the wall had been fixed and all the holes repaired. We used the fireplace for our meals, but would not use it during the day for fear the smoke would be seen.
"This is nice." I remarked to Dox as we surveyed our handiwork. While he had done the back-breaking parts of repairing the walls and roof, I had helped by gathering the ingredients for thatch as well as cleaned the inside. There was just one chair that could hold any weight and the mattress for furniture, but we really did not need anything, just a place to rest our heads; the fireplace was a good thing to have as well.
"Yes, it is a home of sorts." Dox's voice was soft as he stepped behind me and wrapped his arms around the tops of my arms. I leaned back into him and smiled, enjoying the feeling. However, it was at that exact moment that a tiny portion of the old roof fell and molding thatching plopped on my head.
"Oh! Ewww!" I pushed away from him and shook my head, grimacing at the disgusting material. I heard a low keening noise and turned to see Dox laughing. His eyes were scrunched tight and he held his midsection. "Well, I'm glad this is funny for someone!" I felt so filthy and scrabbled at my back to make certain none of the stuff was still on me. "I need a bath now."
"Let us go to the pond nearby and I will help you with that." His tone was suggestive and I couldn't help but smirk.
"You'd help me bath? How gracious of you!" I grasped his hand and pulled him out into the warmth of the afternoon. It was the perfect time to bathe and for once the horrible mist that flooded the Wilds had let up a little, allowing us to see the sun. However, we did not get but half way to the pond when Dox released my hand, stopping as he did.
"What-?" I turned to inquire why he had paused and saw the alarm on my beloved's face. His eyes were wide and his nostrils were flaring in panic and fear. "Dox?" I asked, reaching for him. But he left, dashing into the forest before I could say or do anything more.
I spun to face the sky, fearing a monster would drop down and attack me, but I saw nothing. I turned slowly, my heart hammering out a pattern as I searched for what had spooked him, for what had caused him to flee. And why did he leave me? I didn't think he would do that if there was danger near us. It made me feel hurt, vulnerable and alone. He had promised to protect me. Why was he breaking it now?
"Where is he, girl?" A soft voice called out from behind me and I spun to face what used to be Dox's mother - Flemeth now. Oh no, she had found us! A terrible dread crept up my spine and I hoped that Dox was far away from this place. I knew she would be able to sense my fear, but there was no way of preventing it. I stood my ground, saying nothing as she drew closer to me. "Well? I know you can speak. I have heard your voice." She began to walk around me, circling me as a predator would circle its prey. "Your mother spoke, so now I expect you to do so as well." Her laugh was pernicious. "Of course, she was screaming in pain so she would say what I wanted to hear. Yet how easily she gave up your location…"
"No!" I bared my teeth at her, glaring at her words. I was not certain she lied to provoke me to speak or if she really had tortured my mother. Either way she had shown herself. She had proven her words to us at the palace had been lies. "You won't have him, Flemeth."
"I will have what I want, girl, when I want. And that would be now." Her tone was low, dangerous, filled with promises of pain as she said, "You will do well to remember just who I am. You know what I am called, you should know my power. Your bones will snap. They will break. But you are just a mere mortal to me and will be gone into dust before I care to know anything about you." She turned her head slightly, listening.
When her yellow eyes closed, I took the opportunity to run.
I did not get far.
BOOM! A tremendous explosion rocked the world beneath me and all faded into darkness….
When I opened my eyes I felt as if I had been asleep for a long, long time. My mouth was so dry it felt like I had swallowed a desert and I heard myself smack my lips a few times. A blurry image of someone handing me water slowly shifted to reveal a familiar face staring down at me with concern and worry. It was my mother.
"M-mother?" I croaked and blinked at how rusty my voice sounded – as if I hadn't spoke in a long time.
"Shhh, Cecilia, don't try to talk, just drink." She offered the water cup to me again and I sipped greedily from it, sighing softly as the coolness eased my aching throat. I glanced around as I drank, surprised that I was in my own bedroom.
"You came for me?" I felt so weak! I shifted in an attempt to sit up, but my mother gently held me down.
"Yes, after the battle was fought and the horrible ordeal was over." Her accent was thick and her voice full of emotion. "You have been unconscious for many months."
"W-what?" I was horrified. Flemeth's fireball or whatever it had been had knocked me out so badly it had damaged me to the point I could not wake? "What about Dox, mother." I clung to her arm with my hands, though they shook badly as I did. "Where is he?"
"I… I do not know, little girl." Her expression was sad and I wondered what she was not telling me. I chose to ask the most obvious question on my mind.
"So … she's dead? It's over?"
"Yes, Alistair managed to kill her." Mother looked relieved. "As soon as he did, the minds were all freed. Thank the Maker everyone is free once again."
"I'm happy to hear that." I sank into the pillow, feeling relief flood my body. Life could go on like normal now. But I was incomplete. I had a piece of me missing. I stared at mother's aging face, locking eyes as I asked, "I have to find Dox."
"If you know where he is, then we can find him." Her tone turned soft, "But I do not suspect you will. We have searched high and low without luck; we had hopes that if we could find him, he could bring you back to us." She gathered me into her arms and began to weep. "Oh Cecilia, I never thought you would wake! I thought we would lose you so many times. It reminded me of when Teagan was comatose and we had to go gather the Urn of Sacred Ashes for him, only for you, there were no ashes."
"You mean Eamon, right? And, I'm awake now, mother." I smiled weakly, feeling overcome by her care. "But I won't be able to survive without Dox." I winced at my wording choice. "I mean, I really need to find him. I can't be happy without him." She nodded and swiped at her eyes as if embarrassed to be crying. It touched me.
"Let me bring you some soup and we can talk more." She climbed off of the bed and smiled warmly at me, as if it were hard for her to believe I had woken up.
"Oh Dox… where are you?" I sighed softly and stared at the wooden ceiling above me, tracing patterns to keep my mind off of the black-haired man. It wasn't too much longer before my mother stepped into the room, a big bowl in her hands. I could see steam rolling lightly off of the liquid within and my stomach growled angrily.
"Here's your favorite. Bog Root Soup!" Mother giggled at my horrified expression as she placed it on the stand beside my bed and helped me sit up, fluffing the oversized pillows so that I could take it in easier. She looked as if she would feed me, but I rolled my eyes and held out my hands for the bowl.
"But that would be fun, just like when you were a child!" Her expression was mock-hurt and I laughed as I sipped the soup. It was amazing! "Orlias has some great cooks." I grinned at her as I continued, thoroughly enjoying the taste. As I ate, mother smoothened back my hair, and I relaxed under her touch. It was good to be home, with no worries except where to find my beloved. As I ate, a terrible revelation had come to me. I put the bowl down in my lap and looked sharply to my mother. "How long ago has this been over with?"
"Oh, you mean when did Alistair kill Flemeth?" She tapped her chin, lost in thought for a moment. "That was about a month ago. Why?"
"I know where Dox is." I made motion to move the soup to the stand, but she stopped me.
"You should eat. You need strength." Her motherly tone was welcomed as I had missed it, so I hastily finished under her guarded eye. When I was done, she took it and set it aside, but stopped me when I went to move from the bed. "No little girl, you cannot get up yet. You cannot even stand!" I lay back in frustration, knowing every moment that ticked by was a moment without my beloved.
"He's in the sea." I sighed softly, grateful that we had had the discussion about his turning into a statue. "He will be in the shape of the White Dragon as a statue. It was what he said he would do if we had been caught and since she had caught us…" I grimaced, but felt relieved that I at least knew where he would be. "There's an alcove half way from Kirkwall to Amaranthine where he took me once. I bet he is there."
"You rest and get your strength." Mother told me as she picked up the empty bowl and went to leave. "Do not get out of this bed or I will strap you in it until you're well." She smiled to lighten her tone, though I knew she meant it. "I will talk to Alistair and get a ship out there as soon as possible. Rest now, you will need your strength for when your beloved returns." She winked at me and I felt my face heat up. I grinned as she left with a wave of her hand.
I leaned back into the pillows, comfortable and full of belly, but my mind was churning over and over. I felt such worry for Dox, but I knew it was silly since they would go to sea and dive for him. It wasn't long before I grew restless. I sat up and grimaced as I did, feeling the weakness seep into my bones. It was terrible to have limbs but not have the strength to use them like your mind remembered. I took it slow. Careful. I slid to my feet, but held on to the bed post tightly, afraid of falling. One step. Two steps. Three. Another. And another. I made it to the door and opened it, but as I did, I was surprised to see a small kitten sitting there looking up at me with sad topaz-colored eyes.
"Mew?" It asked me.
"Awwww, look at you. Little cute kitty!" I reached down and carefully scooped it up into my arms. It kneaded my chest gently and purred. I wondered if mother had gotten it for me as I brought it into the room. It was a male and such a sweet little kitten. He batted his head against my chin and continued to purr.
"My mother knew I would be lonely while I recovered, I bet." I mumbled as I climbed into bed, keeping the kitten in my arms as I did. He seemed well-behaved and curled up in a little ball on my belly, sleeping peacefully as I stroked his soft white fur gently. "What can I call you?" I grinned as he twitched lightly in his sleep, the tiny delicate whiskers quivering minutely. "Hmm, what is a good name. Whiskers? Mittens? No, you are all white, no mittens on your little feet." I tickled under the kitten's chin and it opened its eyes, purring loudly once again.
"What is that!" I heard a voice shriek at my door and saw my mother standing there, a horrified look on her face.
"It's just the kitten." I felt my brow furrow in confusion. "Didn't you get him for me? You know I've always wanted one."
"Ohhh. It looked like a rat to me." She came in and relaxed slightly, staring uncomfortably at the creature in my lap. The kitten surprised me by hissing up at my mother, his back arched to make him look bigger and scarier. It was funny because he was so small and cute.
"You aren't frightening anyone, Whiskers." I chided him and he looked at me with doleful eyes as if embarrassed. I snickered softly and petted him to relax him.
"Perhaps we should keep him in the kennels." Mother wrinkled her nose and I groaned at her.
"Motherrrrr." I could not help but whine. "I know you don't like cats, but honestly, he'd be just a snack for one of the Mabari!" My desire for a cat had been such a contention point for us in the past, but I had hope this time she would see it my way. "He will help me recover… and I'll take really good care of him, I promise." It was just the thing I needed to help me as I waited on Dox to be found.
"Well, okay, since you've always wanted one." Her eyes never left the kitten's. "But if he becomes noisy or breaks things, out to the kennels he goes."
"Fine." I turned the little furball around and stared into his golden eyes as I said to him, "You won't be any trouble, right Whiskers?" I was rewarded with a gentle 'mew' and I grinned at him in return.
"Alistair has sent for the best captains and the fastest ships." My mother told me as she stepped to the door to take her leave. "So, you just rest and recover. I will let you know of any news when I hear it, little girl." She smiled as she started to close the door behind her. "And for Maker's sake, keep that cat out of trouble!"
The moment my mother left, I began to stroke my new kitten, enjoying the soft fur and loud purrs.
"Don't you worry, Whiskers, I will take care of you." I felt chatty, and since the cat was a good listener, I kept talking. "When they find Dox, you will have to share me with him." At the last statement, the kitten lifted his head and began to meow. "Shhhh!" I cringed at his tone and patted him quickly in hopes of calming him.
"That's a good boy."I praised him after he had quieted. "My mother won't like it if you keep meowing like that and I don't want to have you sent to the kennels, so be good." The kitten stared at me intently as if trying to discern what I said. It unnerved me a little how intelligent he seemed. "So, I wonder where you came from if my mother didn't give you to me." I continued to stroke his head, rubbing under his chin from time to time. His purrs were very relaxing and before I knew it, I had fallen asleep.
"Mmmm?" I woke with a raspy feeling upon my lips and blinked a few times when I found my new kitten friend on my face. "Hey, ugh!" I pushed him off, gently though, and rubbed my eyes of any traces of sleep, at the same time I rubbed my lips in an exasperated manner. I wasn't really annoyed, just a bit disgusted. "Good morning to you, too, Whiskers." I greeted and sat up, stroking his soft fur. He mewed and climbed down the bed carefully, which made me wince at the thought of tiny holes in my comforter. But when he headed for the cracked door, I called out, "No! Stay!" He was moving quickly so I stumbled out of bed and nearly fell on my face, forgetting how weak I was.
"Whiskers!" I cried out once I had put on my robe. I attempted to grab him once I made it to the door, but he deftly move away from my outstretched hands. I tried a few more times and he continued run down the hall, mewing as he did. Fearing for him, not wanting my mother to find him being mischievous and make me give him up, I attempted to follow to catch. But as I neared the end of the hall, my legs gave out. I collapsed in a heap, huffing heavily from the exertion and effort. Having your body in a coma for so long truly makes it as weak as a baby's it seemed.
"Whiskers?" I stated as I felt something crawl onto my lap. The kitten began to purr loudly, curling up in a ball. I cradled him to my chest as I chided him for running. Slowly I went back to my room, making certain I held on to him tightly as I did. Three more times he attempted to run away, but always seemed to come back to me when my legs gave out. I could never get far, but I knew it would take time. I would keep at it, because I wanted to be able to walk again and for more than a few steps at a time.
After the fourth attempt, I just let him go. I was depressed that he kept running away, so I gave up. However, he returned, meowing loudly as if upset at me.
"What is it, Whiskers?" I patted a spot next to me on the bed and he climbed up the comforter, curling up in a ball where my hand had touched. I shook my head, bemused at the little thing. He was certainly an enigma. He reminded me of Dox in way – mysterious and intelligent, but handsome (or cute in the kitten's case) and holding the key to my heart.
"Hello?" There was a soft knock on the door and when I bade them enter, Kayla peered into the room.
"Kayla, how are you?" I hadn't seen her in a long, long time!
"I'm wonderful!" She chirped, taking my question as an invitation to enter. She climbed upon the bed on the opposite side of where Whiskers rested and gushed, "I'm getting married!"
"Wh-What!" I could not help myself but exclaim the word loudly. I adjusted my tone to add, "Congratulations. Who is the lucky man?"
"Harris!" Her expression told me she was serious but I could not help but be a little shocked. And hurt, which I knew was ridiculous.
"Oh, really? Harris?" I forced my tone to be supportive and interested.
"Yes, I know you have a history with him, sort of. But we've gotten really close over the last few months." She hugged her knees after making certain her dress was straightened, staring at the door as she spoke as if embarrassed to talk to me. "I'm sorry about what I did, Cecilia. I was really petty and jealous, but I've changed. I swear it."
"What do you mean?" I had hopes that she was apologizing for being so mean in the past, but how does one change that dramatically.
"I kind of … well, I am truly embarrassed to say it." I could tell she was struggling.
"Just say, I promise I won't be mad or upset." How bad could her confession be?
"Well, each time you rejected Harris… I kind of went to him and threw myself at him." She bit a fingernail for a few seconds, waiting on my reaction.
"That was unlady-like." I mimicked my mother's accented voice and then shifted back to my own to say, "But I can't fault you for trying to flirt with him. He is a handsome, desirable man."
"Oh, stop trying to be so noble, Cecilia." Kayla barked. "I took him to my bed and that has to hurt you, even though you love Dox."
"W-What?" I blinked, shocked into silence.
"I'm sorry. Honestly I am." She looked away, unable to meet my eye. "He was so sad and lonely and hurt. It was easy and I took advantage of the situation. I knew he didn't feel for me what he felt for you, but I pretended he did. I was petty and weak. For once you had not just one boy's attention, but two and I was left out. I grew jealous and did what I could to try and take him from you. But of course, you were so perfect, how could I?"
"Kayla, I really don't know what to say." I was horrified, but also a part of me pitied her. She had been jealous of me? ME! She thought I was perfect? What a laugh!
"Just say you forgive me." She bowed her head and waited patiently, then impatiently, glancing up from time to time.
"I forgive you." It was Harris I couldn't forgive.
"Oh thank you!" She slung her arms around my neck and squeezed and then let go to say, "Say you will stand with me when I marry?"
"That's … " I was flattered, but also unhappy and upset. I still harbored some feelings for Harris!
"Just think about it? It's not for a year, so you have time." She smiled at me and I relented, nodding slowly.
"Wonderful!" Kayla squealed and then caught sight of the kitten. "Ohhhh you have a kitty!" Moving around me so that she could get a good look, she reached out to touch him. "What is its name?"
"That's Whiskers."
"Hello Whi-hey!" She snapped her fingers back with a cry. "He bit me!"
"He bit you?" I was shocked at the action. I turned sharply to the kitten and wagged my finger. "No! No biting!" His eyes closed and he wrapped himself in a ball, tucking his nose in his paws and I could not help but soften my tone. "Awww. He didn't mean it, Kay." I secretly thought he had made a good choice, but of course did not say that.
"Bad kitty." Kayla groused, putting the injured finger against her belly and rubbing it as if to ease away the pain. "Well, I should go get ready to see Harris later." She slid off of my bed and smiled at me. "Thanks for understanding and forgiving me." With a wave, she was gone.
"I can't believe them." I crossed my arms and sniffled loudly. I expected Whiskers to console me, but instead, he climbed off of the bed and ran to the full length mirror on the wall near the door. I watched him curiously as he sniffed it and stared at himself within the reflecting glass. "That's you, Whiskers."
But when he reached up and bashed himself into the mirror's edge, squalling in pain as he did, I could not help but cry out for him. What was he doing?
I pushed myself off of the bed to get to the cat, but in doing so, I had misjudged how weak I still was and suffered for it. My legs crumbled underneath me and I fell, reaching out to the bed to help myself, but I landed hard on my side as I did. It was the side facing the mirror and I watched as I recovered as the kitten used his bloodied nose to scoot it erratically against the mirror's bottom. The bloody creature in the mirror mocked his every move and I was puzzled as to what he was doing.
When he apparently finished, the kitten turned and looked at me pointedly. I gathered myself on my hands and knees, and stared at the mirror and the writing in blood there.
It said one word: "FADE".
To be Continued