Well I'm sure this will be a disappointment after the long wait but, hey, that's life! I think this story has run its course - just an epilogue to go. As ever I'm grateful to everyone who has reviewed (but most especially the regular reviewers), surprised by those favourite storying and mildly amused at the favourite authoring cos this is it!
The qualities that Quinn admired most about Rachel were now rapidly becoming the things that irritated her beyond belief. So although her total focus on making it on Broadway and her obsession on never being at anything less than her best in any performance made Quinn burst with pride, her total focus on mastering the video-editing software recommended by Mike and her quest for visual perfection tweaking mere seconds worth of practice footage, was filling Quinn with frustration. Rachel focussed on a computer screen wasn't exactly a spectator sport and when she'd tried to co-edit Rachel had been huffing, puffing and deep sighing at everything she suggested or did - Quinn finally gained some insight into the extent of the control freak aspect of Rachel's personality where anything related to performance was concerned. Rachel had apologised, eventually, explaining she was used to working on her own with this sort of project.
Quinn sighed. Rachel had spent the week in seemingly endless discussions with Mike and surprisingly cordial chats and information exchanges with Santana whilst she had been … well just the glamourous assistant. Except she wasn't feeling particularly glamorous now, that damn software was proving more of an attraction than herself.
"And here's me thinking only paedophiles need to know how to pixelate peoples heads on videos" she grumped.
"Quinn, we can't be responsible for the potential further bullying of the victims on these clips. Only the perpetrators go unmasked" Rachel explained patiently for what she felt was the umpteenth time.
Quinn sighed again. The afternoon she'd spent researching the rights of an individual over their images and the legal implications of covert recordings wasn't high on her list of 'Most Fun Ways To Waste A Few Hours Of Your Life'. Although to be fair, she could now cross Lima Public Library off her long list of 'places I have never made out in' once she'd finally broken Rachel's resistance down with a few well placed licks of an ear. Aural intensity indeed. She smirked at the memory.
"I still don't understand why you're taking such careful attention to detail when the whole point of this is to be anonymous. As in never found out. it's not like you can put your name on the end credits" Quinn whinged.
"Always worth having a plan B through to H in my experience," replied Rachel beginning to doubt whether she had in fact considered all possible ways her plans could go wrong. Being found out was not an option, at least not now. Once her super stardom was assured this would all be some amusing anecdote and her first step in a well-documented stand against bullying. Quinn could see the seeds of doubt beginning to take hold in Rachel's mind and knew it was imperative she distracted her before Rachel began to plan for even more eventualities.
"Run joey Run was very slickly edited, cleverly framed," Rachel gave her an appraising look - what did Quinn know about judging videos?, "and incredibly professional in terms of finished product - even if the subject material left a lot to be desired" Quinn distracted carefully," I think a remake is on the cards as I've been told I'm rather sexy looking in a leather jacket."
"Undoubtably Quinn," Rachel's eyes swept over Quinn as if sizing her up for the Joey role and a smirk hovered on her lips before she became serious again," but technology and software evolves quickly. Nothing less than perfection on this current production will be acceptable - just in case in the future this can be traced back to me. I think just a few more hours practise and I'll be sufficiently competent to unleash my skills on our actual footage." Rachel reassurred Quinn refocusing on the screen in front of her. Quinn sighed again - a few more hours? She'd been unduly optimistic when she thought she'd be happy if she could just spend the rest of her life staring at Rachel, she now knew she needed to cater for her touch, taste and smell senses to achieve true happiness. Watching those lithe fingers skilfully manipulating the mouse as a tongue peeked out of plump lips was pleasing to the eye it was true but she wanted those fingers stroking her cheeks and running through her hair and as for that tongue and those lips…
"Perhaps you need a break or a change of activity?" Quinn suggested her voice taking on a lower timbre. Rachel's eyes didn't leave the screen.
"I'm fine thanks Quinn," she replied brightly. Quinn strode quietly over to Rachel's swivel chair. She swung Rachel round 180 degrees and, thanking the flexibility she owed to Sue's rigourous training regimes, she straddled a surprised and dumbstruck Rachel. Her height and position meant Rachel was currently faced with Quinn's cleavage.
" I think you need a break," Quinn purred as Rachel licked her lips," and I definitely need a change of activity."
Rachel was then too busy to verbalise a coherent response leaving Quinn to interpret the body language and the moans of the girl beneath her.
Ali couldn't keep the incredulity out of her voice, "You're behind schedule?"
Rachel flushed with embarrassment while trying to persuade Ali to keep her voice down by motioning with her hands. Maybe the Lima Bean wasn't such a good place for a top secret rendezvous. Ali's gaze flickered over a smug looking Quinn and back to her uncomfortable looking best friend.
"You allowed yourself to be distracted?" teased Ali. "Too busy recreating Kylie routines or being serenaded by Pink songs to focus on the task in hand?"
"Oh Rachel was definitely focussing on the task in hand" replied Quinn smiling, "or should I say hands"
Rachel's face flamed redder.
"Well I did build in some spare time into my grand plan to allow for unforeseen delays," spluttered Rachel.
"Hardly unforeseen," murmured Ali as Quinn smirked. Rachel huffed at the pair of them.
"So we'll still be good to go on Tuesday in time for the school boards meeting and before the local paper goes to print," Rachel tried to bring the conversation back on topic.
"Black wig, sunglasses and nondescript outfit ready, memory stick and back-up memory stick of links and dodgy computer program ready, internet café lined up and route scouted. 24 hour bug symptoms ready to be enacted so I'm off school for the day and will have time to incinerate the afore mentioned items after their usefulness has expired" Ali finally recognised the tune Quinn was humming to be mission impossible," I hope you two have come up with how to generate a cast-iron alibi for zero-hour" Ali said. This seemed the only vague part of the whole plan.
"Quinn's territory," Rachel replied gesturing towards her girlfriend.
"No highlighted, intricately detailed, plans from me with appendices dedicated to slight variations in plans I'm afraid," she smiled affectionately at Rachel to soften any hint of criticism,"It'll be lunchtime so we'll be starting some kind of food fight I should imagine" added Quinn with a grin,"although I think Rachel's expectation of only being hit with vegan produce is a little optimistic."
"Not if I'm standing close behind you for the duration," replied Rachel.
"Need to be out and centre Rach, everyone needs to be able to say we were definitely there." Quinn noted Rachel's downcast look "And maybe we can clean up in the cheerios' showers afterwards?" she ventured unsure whether Rachel's hold over Sue still held.
"No problem on that front," beamed Rachel," and we'll be late for Chemistry. It's all win-win."
When Burns commented on best-laid plans of mice and men often going awry he couldn't have possibly imagined how much worse it was for teenage girls when their carefully considered time-consuming plans were going, for want of a better phrase, 'tits up'. Best-laid was an understatement. Quinn re-read the text from Ali in horror and then realised why she'd been sent it rather than Rachel. She would need to break the news that Ali was behind schedule and that they'd need to possibly come up with an airtight alibi in the middle of the chemistry lesson. Oh what she'd give for an appendix to her barely thought out plan. She hated to think what Rachel's response would be if her only part of the scheme was the part that caused it to fail. How many ways would Rachel know how to say told you so? Rachel cast her a worried glance. Okay, first things first. She placed an arm around Rachel's shoulder pulling her in close and then whispered in her ear.
"You need to act as if I've said something completely adorable or funny," she started.
"Oh Quinn that's so sweet," responded Rachel immediately stroking Quinn's face. Quinn caught the eye rolling from Santana across the table.
"Ali has been delayed – it doesn't matter why, so we'll need to be noticeable in chemistry," Quinn added. Rachel giggled coquettishly before pulling Quinn's ear to her mouth. Quinn tried to suppress a shiver.
"We'll be registered. We don't need to do anything," she replied kissing Quinn's ear for good measure. Quinn leaned in again.
"Ms Cross has had the same sort of lesson with every class for the past forty years. We'll need to be noticeable for this lesson and our presence needs to stand out. There should be no doubt we were both there. I haven't allowed for having to adapt my plan. Somehow I think a chemical fight might be a bit hazardous."
"Well, talking of hazardous, I think you'll now need to eat all this pasta and meatballs you purchased and maybe throwing up in chemistry will be suitably memorable and eye-catching for Ms Cross to notice," replied Rachel pulling back to take in the slightly ill look on Quinn's face.
"I'll have to do it over you as you need to stand out too," Quinn replied between mouthfuls of pasta as she wiped her chin.
"Eww Gross," commented Rachel unsure whether Quinn's eating habits or the notion of being thrown up on were at the forefront of her brain.
As the bell rang and they headed towards Chemistry Quinn asked uncertainly
"What are we going to do?"
"Once the signal comes through from Ali we improvise," responded Rachel with such a mischievous grin that Quinn felt a twinge of fear for her, the chemistry class and the unsuspecting Ms Cross.
As Quinn felt her phone vibrate with a 'we are a go' message from Ali she noticed Rachel perk up beside her raising her hand in the air.
"Ms Cross I've been debating with Quinn here but we're undecided so just what is the use of all this," she stood so she could gesture to all corners of the lab, "mix yellow with blue and bang, red with yellow and nothing, heat this, freeze that," and then not giving Ms Cross a chance to draw breath
"I'm sure it's essential to the future survival of the human race and all that but what we're interested in, as rapidly evolving and hormonaly awash teenagers, is the chemistry between two people."
Ms Cross's jaw had dropped and she looked as if she was struggling to make sense of what she was hearing. Her mouth opened and closed but no sound issued forth.
"For instance why is it if I kiss Quinn," Rachel honed in and gave Quinn a quick peck on the lips ,"it's all fireworks and," she kissed Quinn again but this time for a bit longer,"a flood of sensations through out the body and a racing heart" She skipped out of the way as Quinn tried to grab her.
"Whereas if I kiss," Rachel scanned her classmates many of whom leaned away from her until she zeroed in on Tina. Tina, who had always wondered what kissing the same sex would be like, found herself drawn to the new improved Rachel Berry; she was definitely attractive enough to experiment with and besides hadn't Finn wanted to go out with her for her kissing ability? She was fighting to stop herself from leaning forward.
"Tina" their lips briefly met before Tina pulled Rachel back in for a longer lip-lock,"it's pleasant but not such a chemical reaction," finished Rachel.
"Speak for yourself," muttered Tina dreamily until she noted the daggers being levelled her way by an unamused Quinn.
"Rachel Berry," Miss Cross finally managed to start a sentence but the cheering chaos of her class meant she was struggling to finish it.
"Ms Cross, please teach us about the chemistry between people. I mean as a woman of the wrrrmph" Quinn finally caught up with Rachel and managed to place a hand over her mouth. There was a moment of silence as the class drew in a breath awaiting Quinn's, rather than the ineffectual Ms Cross's, response. Rachel's eyes sparkled in amusement over Quinn's hand and she could feel a wide smile on her palm. Quinn felt her brief jealousy dissipate and her heart melt.
"This is the sort of chemistry I'd love to do practicals in," announced Quinn as she replaced her hand with her lips ignoring the whistling, catcalling and cheering that erupted around them. It was definitely the most memorable chemistry lesson in those science labs for the past forty years.
Rachel's dads' flanked her either side both tight-lipped and tense in posture. Judy Fabray sat opposite alongside Quinn her whole demeanour suggesting she was mortified. Rachel ventured a quick tentative smile at Quinn. They had decided that they were definitely going to be grounded by parents, possibly suspended from school to consider the error of their ways and then after that it became a bit unclear. Would they be banned from seeing each other, moved classes, moved schools?
The door to Principal Figgins office opened and the flustered and disheveled man appeared. He looked at them in bewilderment before seeming to remember why they were there.
"High jinks in chemistry. Don't do it again. Letter of apology to Ms Cross. Thanks for coming in," Figgins said quickly offering his hand to the Berrys and the Mrs Fabray.
"But don't you want to hear our side of what happened?" volunteered Rachel
" I can think of nothing worse. Sorry you've got to go," he ushered them to the door.
"We'd like to apologise.." began Hiram
"Accepted," replied Principal Figgins turning back towards his office. Leroy caught his arm
"But Rachel's behaviour," he started
"Was completely out of character as she's usually an exemplary student. The same for Quinn here. A bit of high jinks. I'm sure they won't do it again. There are far more serious things I need to spend my time on," and with that he shrugged Leroy's arm off him and scurried away. As their parents exchanged puzzled looks Rachel indicated to Quinn the school website on the secretary's Computer and smiled. Ali had done it, their masterpiece was front and centre.
When they had been planning a video to expose what really went on at McKinley high they'd had no idea who the intended audience should be. Rachel had immediately launched herself into researching who in Lima had any say or contact with schools before narrowing it down to the school board and the news starved local paper. Quinn had suggested a mock-umentary as a double pun and Ali had been the brain behind doing the voice over in Figgins's voice. This was after some debate and them concluding that there must be more than one student in the school who could impersonate Figgins besides Rachel agreed to drop her voice a bit to disguise herself. Video clips and images were gathered by Santana from footballers phones, Jacobs blog and other connections throughout the student body via various shady sources. These were pulled in to make mock-umentary of McKinley High's Football Team.
'A Team of Losers' was the main title with shots of faded football penants, empty trophy cupboards and a honours list that stopped in 2005 providing the backdrop. None of Quinn, Ali or Rachel had enough knowledge of footballing terminology to create clever or even not-so-clever puns. The commentary moved into considering reasons for the football team's lack of success starting with aspects of their training. Weight lifting was accompanied by shots of members of the football team lifting weights which then cross faded into footballers throwing fellow students into dumpsters.
The section entitled tackling started with shots of the team tackling in training before moving into a cleverly juxtaposed shot of the footballers making their way down the corridor of McKinley high with students being thrown into lockers as the team passed by laughing and high fiving.
Target practice featured the standard shot of the ball being thrown down the pitch before being replaced by a selection of slushyings accompanied by footballers laughter whilst the communication section had on field calling of plays followed by off field calling of names and insults at non-footballers for just existing.
The section on teamwork showed the football team throwing hapless students' belongings between them as the students scurried after their bag/phone/folder and then finished with the football team taking it in turns to slushy a pixelated Quinn accompanied by the soundtrack of a crowd cheering as if a touchdown had been scored.
The voice over asked how a team with the full backing of the teaching staff – and now the clips ran again but this time with any teacher in shot highlighted – continued to be so unsuccessful? Perhaps, queried the voice-over, the backing of the students was needed? There followed clips of students being humiliated, insulted, bullied and slushied by the footballers; the shots rapidly changing giving the impression of a wide range of students of varying heights, sizes and ethnicity being on the receiving end.
The final screen shot was from the McKinley High Anti-bullying Policy stating in black and white the right of any student to be able to attend the school without fear of bullying followed by a definition of bullying. A slushy was then thrown over the statement and the video faded to black.
Quinn grinned back at Rachel – that video was now on all the screens in the school, Finn's mum had been sent a clip of Finn pouring the final cup of slushy over Quinn's (unpixelated this time) head and all e-mails in the parental database had been sent a copy. All school board members, all teaching staff , the local paper and the local senator had been recipients of their masterpiece. It was time to sit back and wait for the fireworks to start.
"Hey Rachel be my study partner for Chemistry?" asked Tina as she passed Quinn and Rachel being escorted by sombre looking parents to the school exit. Tina had time to catch Rachel's smile and Quinn's frown as the doors closed behind them.