"Mind if I get something to eat?" Shepard glanced at Miranda in the lift.
"I'd recommend soup until tomorrow." Miranda offered calmly, not surprised in the slightest that Shepard was hungry, she'd used her biotics a lot today.
"Thanks, can I get you something as well?" Shepard asked softly, a little nervously in fact.
"No thank you Commander." Miranda kept her voice cool, she didn't want to encourage Shepard further in regards to any emotional attachment. A professional working relationship was one thing, actual friendship was something else she wasn't willing to investigate.
"As you wish." Shepard shrugged, stepping out of the lift only to be stopped by a slender hand.
"Why do you keep saying that?" Miranda frowned at her, it was familiar...
Shepard shrugged a little, "Does it bother you?" she glanced back at the frustrating woman.
Mirada released her arm, "No it's not that... it just, never mind. I'll wait for you in the loft." she nodded brusquely for Shepard to go.
Shepard returned the nod and left her to go see Gardner, she was certain Miranda would busy herself on her console as she wasn't the type of person to just sit and wait and twiddle her thumbs. That didn't actually concern her. She had no doubt Miranda would have remote access to her console anyway and that none of her message would be private. This was a Cerberus ship after all and the Illusive Man was a control freak and so was Miranda. She thought to herself about that one, control freak or perfectionist? Somewhat different, same results.
There was a subtle shift in the ship as Joker took them away from Omega. They were heading to Korlus now to find a krogan Warlord Okeer. According to the Illusive Man's dossiers he'd been researching a cure for the genophage and had contacted the Collectors for technology to help his research. This made him ideal in the Illusive Man's eyes and far less from ideal in Shepard's. Especially considering the Collectors wanted her arse and had already gone to incredible lengths to try and get it. How was she supposed to trust a krogan Warlord wouldn't try to hand her over in exchange for more technology? Thinking about it made her head hurt and her stomach growl.
Gardner grinned, "What can I getcha Commander?"
"Soup. Lots of soup thanks Gardner." she sighed, wanting something more filling but her stomach was a little sensitive right now.
"Anything in particular?" He asked her thoughtfully, scratching his bristly chin.
"Whatever's your specialty." She flashed him a disarming grin and went over to the coffee machine, "Send me a message when it's ready, I'll be in my quarters."
"Yes ma'am." he grinned at her, she was a treat to cook for, ate everything he threw her way without the bellyaching the others had given him before they'd hit the Citadel where she'd arranged for decent food supplies for him to work with. Both he and the crew had been very grateful for her thoughtfulness.
Miranda glanced at the hand that deposited a mug of coffee on the desk beside her before moving on. "Thank you."
Shepard just nodded and kept walking.
Miranda continued typing for a few minutes, glancing up every now and then to watch as Shepard got out of her armour and into some more comfortable slacks and tee-shirt. She was moving well, showing no signs of injury and in the past few days the scars on her face had been closing over quickly. She swallowed a mouthful of coffee and looked quickly to the console at the thought of Shepard's scars. If Shepard's response in the bathroom hadn't been evident enough Kelly's psychological report confirmed that having those blasted scars removed had been a mistake on her behalf. Mistakes did not sit well with Miranda Lawson.
Shepard smirked at the note from Kasumi on her pillow.
There were seven bugs in your room, two in the bathroom, all now getting acquainted with the garbage crushing unit. I like Sake.
K
The bugs weren't a surprise to her, even that there'd been bugs in her bathroom, that Kasumi had taken the time to search the entire loft for them was. Next decent port they stopped at she'd investigate getting the thief a bottle of Sake. She glanced at the AI terminal, how to get privacy from EDI...
Miranda was a little startled when soft piano began to play. Looking up she saw Shepard had seated herself on her lounge and was playing a few warm up chord progressions. After a minute or two she began to play a soft classical piece. Listening closely she identified it as Albinoni's Adagio in G Minor, a soft rather sad sounding piece that was quite soothing to listen to. Putting aside her report writing she just sat back and listened.
Shepard could frustrate the hell out of her but damn could she play, and the way she played... She'd closed her eyes and was playing from memory, her body was flowing with the rhythm of the music, her hands were light and graceful as they danced across the holographic keys. It was so beautiful to watch and hear Miranda was disappointed when the song ended.
Closing down the console she stood, coffee in hand, to join Shepard on the lounge. Looking down at the mug in her hand she frowned slightly, "How did you know how I like my coffee?" she asked softly.
Shepard smiled, looking a little surprised as though she'd forgotten Miranda had even been there, "Could tell you, might have to shoot you though."
Miranda gracefully sat down positioning herself to face Shepard and crossing her knees comfortably.
Shepard flicked off the holographic piano when Miranda didn't respond to the jest. "So what did you want to talk about?"
Miranda smiled, "I was actually quite enjoying listening to you play. How long have you played the piano?"
"Since I was seven. My best friend was learning, she was older and I wanted to do everything she did." Shepard smiled sadly, she turned and propped up her legs on the length of the lounge comfortably. "Annoyed the hell out of her but she put up with me, even taught me a few songs herself."
"I'm surprised you like classical music." Miranda mused thoughtfully, this was the most relaxed she'd seen Shepard since she'd become conscious again.
"What, just cos I can drill you between the eyes, crush you with my biotics and can Choi Kwang Do your arse doesn't mean I can't like a good old classical piece or two." Shepard mock pouted, her amber eyes twinkling with mirth. "Besides you can do all that stuff and still like classical, why can't I?"
"I didn't say you couldn't, just that I'm surprised." Miranda smiled, "Few people do these days."
"Ah tell me about it, all that head banging just gives me a headache. Classical music soothes the soul." she sighed wistfully, relaxing her head back into the top of the lounge and closing her eyes as she lost herself momentarily in a piece she played mentally, letting it flow through her mind.
Miranda waited a few moments before breaking into that reverie of Shepard's, "I wanted to discuss several things with you. Firstly your biotic abilities." she watched the subtle shifting of Shepard's weight and that her lips pursed a little, she was bracing herself for something and in all likelihood about to become very defensive if she wasn't careful in how she phrased her questions. "I'm very curious about what you did with your eyes, I've never seen an ability like that."
Shepard cocked her head slightly and looked to Miranda, "It wasn't in your files on me?" she asked pointedly.
Miranda frowned, "I've come to see that there is a lot about you not in my files. It seems you have done an excellent job at keeping secrets even from the Alliance." she admitted freely though not without a pang of self-recrimination.
Shepard scoffed, "The Alliance should know all about how well I can keep secrets, they made me after all."
Miranda thought quickly, "Your identity as Stephanie Shepard?"
"Yeah." Shepard took a sip from her own coffee.
Miranda was very interested in finding out who the real 'Stephanie Shepard' was but she could see Shepard had just tried to deflect her from her original question and that made her even more curious about it. "Does the Alliance know about your eyes?"
"No." Shepard sighed, damn she wasn't subtle enough.
"What exactly do you see when you use it?" she pressed when it became apparent she would have to ask Shepard very specific question for more than one word answers.
"I..." Shepard took a deep breath, "If I haven't told the Alliance about it, what makes you think I'll tell Cerberus?" she asked softly.
"Cerberus isn't asking, I am." Miranda clarified for her, hoping the distinction would help loosen her up a little.
"And the fact that we're sitting in a Cerberus vessel filled with Cerberus observation devices and a Cerberus AI listening to our every word doesn't count?" Shepard countered, holding Miranda's gaze pointedly.
Miranda held her gaze, "That didn't seem to bother you in the briefing room with Garrus." she pointed out.
"Huh, so you were listening." Shepard huffed, scowling at her now, "Also proves my point. I'm sure the Illusive Man's been enjoying the footage from my bathroom, have you checked yours Miranda?"
"Cerberus has no need to monitor either of us in the bathroom." Miranda shot back at her, not believing for a second the Illusive Man would commission such a placement of observation devices.
Shepard wordlessly got up and grabbed Kasumi's note, she tossed it over to Miranda who caught it smoothly, "Think she'd lie to me?" she sunk back down into the warmth of the position she'd left only briefly. "Think if he's bugged my bathroom he wouldn't bug the bathroom of the perfect woman?"
Miranda read the note and glared from it to Shepard, tossing the datapad onto the coffee table.
"You're a tool to him Miranda, one he enjoys the benefits of greatly and he's a power hungry man." Shepard could feel herself getting angry on Miranda's behalf and quickly sat back, releasing her clenched up fist she didn't remember clenching in the first place.
Miranda was watching Shepard closely, "It bothers you to be thought of as a tool doesn't it." she observed calmly.
"It doesn't bother you?" Shepard's brows rose in surprise at the unspoken admission in that simple observation.
"It helps me find my place in the universe given how... I came to be." she shrugged and sipped from her coffee.
Shepard looked at her incredulously, "You were genetically engineered by an ego-maniacal bastard so that gives others the right to use you as they see fit so you feel like you have purpose?" she blurted without thinking.
Miranda stiffened and looked to Shepard sharply, "How do you know that?" she demanded coldly, her eyes like spears of ice piercing into Shepard's.
Shepard's eyes widened and her expression was like an open book declaring 'oh shit' momentarily before shutting down again into a mask of sadness, "My childhood interest you now Miss Solheim?" she asked softly.
Miranda felt as though she'd been punched in the gut and paled, she rose to her feet in anger, her biotics flaring, "How the bloody hell do you know my name?" she hissed through her teeth.
Shepard remained laying on the lounge, if Miranda wanted to hit her she'd have to come over here, "You know I'm not one for digging up information, so you tell me, how could I possibly know your name? That Nielson's Fifth Adagio Movement is your favourite? That you've been drinking your coffee white with two sugars since you were fourteen, Miri?"
"Don't call me that, don't you dare call me that!" Miranda snarled at her, her biotics flaring brightly, glaring fiercely into Shepard's amber eyes. A sharp pain spiking through her head behind her right eye hit her with such sudden ferocity it almost knocked her off her feet.
"As you wish." Shepard shrugged, trying desperately to keep the nonchalance when her heart was racing and she was so torn between yelling at Miranda who she was and making Miranda remember her.
The pain spiked further and Miranda groaned, reaching up to hold the right side of her head, her biotics fizzling out and she swayed dangerously close to falling.
Shepard winced at the throb behind her right eye but was more concerned with Miranda right now. "Miranda?" she got up quickly and walked over to the woman who was sucking in air in short shallow gasps, "What's wrong?" she gently took hold of her shoulders to steady her.
"My... my head." she whispered, finding it hard to concentrate on anything other than the pain that was ripping through her mind.
"Shit!" Taking Miranda's arm she draped it over her shoulder and began leading her quickly to the lift, "Chakwas, I'm bringing Miranda to the medbay, something's really wrong with her." she alerted the doctor.
"Specifics?" Came the reply from the doctor.
"Sudden intense pain in her head, right side." Shepard didn't need a degree in medicine to know this was bad.
"I'll be ready for you." Chakwas didn't bother telling her to get here right away, she could hear it in the frantic concern in Shepard's voice that she was already doing that.
Shepard ended up half dragging Miranda to the medbay where Chakwas had already prepared a bed and scanner.
The crew in the mess stared and murmured amongst themselves wondering what had happened, had Shepard hit Operative Lawson again? They all knew what had happened on Freedom's Progress and that things could get real tense between the two powerful women.
Gardner put aside the soup he'd just finished making for when the Commander was finished with whatever was going on with Lawson.
"When did it start?" Chakwas asked both of them, Miranda's face was ashen and her eyes tightly screwed shut, her lips pursed in a grimace of pain.
"A couple minutes ago I think, she didn't say anything about having a headache before." Shepard gently helped Miranda lay on the bed, tenderly brushing her hair out of her face as she did, "She was mad at me and biotically flaring." she added, figuring that would be important information.
Chakwas frowned, she was already scanning Miranda's head, "If she was an L2 I'd say it was a migraine like Kaiden's but she's an L5, they've shown no evidence of any of the side effects as the L2's." she spoke softly in consideration of the groaning woman on the bed.
"Happened before." Miranda hissed through her teeth.
"How often?" Chakwas asked her.
"Twice." came the pain filled response.
"Do you know what brought it on?" Chakwas pressed, motioning for Shepard to move away for now as she administered something to help with the pain.
Miranda's pain wracked brain tried to sort it out. All three times had one thing in common. "Shepard."
Shepard and Chakwas exchanged a confused glance, Shepard shrugged and reached over to take hold of Miranda's hand, "I'm right here." she offered, not sure what Miranda had meant by that.
"With you... all three times." Miranda managed to push out the words, the pain starting to recede ever so gradually but even gradual was enough to help her begin to slowly think more clearly.
Shepard's frown deepened, "Doing your head in am I?" she quipped softly.
"First time?" Chakwas shot a 'shut up now' glance at Shepard.
Shepard was looking at Miranda with deep concern so missed the look from the doc.
"Citadel. When you... when you asked me... who you were." Miranda answered between gasps.
Shepard stilled.
"Second time?" Chakwas was getting some strange readings in a very localized position in Miranda's brain, one associated with memories.
"After Aria's... dance... your eyes... all three looking at your eyes..." Miranda realized with a breathless gasp, opening her eyes to look up at Shepard who was holding her hand and looking incredibly worried.
"Oh shit." Shepard breathed as understanding dawned. These headaches only happened when she reminded Miranda of Persephone. She pulled away from Miranda, "That fucking bastard! He did it, he fucking did it!" she hissed in fierce outrage, her biotics flaring dangerously and her vision becoming spotty.
Miranda's own biotics reacted to the fierce call of Shepard's and flared.
"Shepard get out! Now!" Chakwas ordered her firmly, she'd seen Shepard lose her temper only once, it hadn't ended at all well. She fully expected to be treating Shepard for broken hands in the near future and just hoped no one got in her way.
Shepard stormed out cursing vehemently under her breath the entire way to the gym, music wouldn't be enough to soothe her right now. Attacking the big black punching bag with wild abandon she didn't notice the glances she was getting from a couple of the crew, or that they discreetly made a quick exit. Neither did she notice when the vinyl become slick not with sweat nor the increasing squishiness and sharp pain in her hands.
"By the spirits!" Garrus gaped, "Shepard stop!" he surged forward and wrapped his arms around her sweaty and blood spattered form.
"Let me go!" Shepard snarled at him, trying to twist free.
"Shepard look at your hands! Look at your hands!" he yelled at her with a huge amount of concern colouring his gravelly voice as he clamped down on her with superior turian strength and body size.
Shepard stopped fighting and looked at her hands. Her eyes widened, "Fuck..." she breathed in horror at herself. Sure she'd broken her hands before, only a finger or a meta-carpal here and there but this... "Chakwas is going to fucking murder me." she breathed in horror. Her hands were a bloody mess, so broken up and twisted they looked deformed. "Shit, shit, shit!" she sobbed as with the realization of the state they were in came the pain that adrenaline and rage had been holding at bay.
"Come on." Garrus released her and tugged her shirt to lead her up to the medbay.
Chakwas had been expecting Shepard. She had not, however, been expecting the pale faced, trembling, bloodied woman being brought in by Garrus. Her eyes widened at the nauseating state of Shepards hands. She touched her comm, "Professor Solus this is Doctor Chakwas. I need your assistance in the medbay for a medical emergency."
"On my way Doctor." Came the swiftly spoken response of the Salarian.
Miranda was laying in the bed having her brain monitored to try and determine just what was wrong with her. At first she thought there was something significantly wrong with her personally, then Shepard and Garrus entered her field of vision and her gaze zeroed in on Shepard's hands. "Shepard what did you do!" she demanded, aghast at the damage to those very expensive hands that could create such beautiful music and cause such horrific violence.
"Punching bag won today." Shepard murmured, her breath hitching in her throat as she bit back a sob, tears were streaming down her cheeks and she wished she could just cut off her hands right now they were in such agony.
Miranda went to get up but was stopped by Chakwas firm doctor's tone.
"You stay in bed Miss Lawson. Mordin and I will see to this." she growled at the Operative.
Miranda felt rather helpless as Garrus got Shepard on the bed and was bustled out of the medbay promptly once Mordin arrived... and she had to just lay there while her brain was scanned. It was almost humiliating and she had to bite her lip to stop from giving suggestions to the two highly trained professionals now working on Shepard.
Shepard said nothing as the doctors got to work. No light banter. No attempts to lighten the mood. No trying to weasel her way out of being confined to the medbay for the next two days. Nothing. She just lay there as the two doctors worked to save her hands.
Her silence was almost more concerning than what she'd done to her hands.
It took Chakwas and Mordin a little over two hours to repair the damage. Chakwas left to get cleaned up with a stern 'Don't even think about leaving.' to the Commander meaning that for a few minutes it was just Shepard and Miranda in the medbay.
Miranda got up and stood beside Shepard, looking down at her bandaged hands, the forlorn expression on her pale face. "Shepard, why'd you do it?" she asked softly.
"I was mad." she admitted in a hollow voice, not looking at Miranda.
"At what?" She hadn't been able to make out what Shepard had been snarling before Chakwas had sent her out.
Shepard didn't respond.
Miranda reached down and gently touched Shepard's arm, feeling her shiver at the contact, "Why were you so mad?"
"Your brain just about blows a gasket when you look in my eyes, what's not to be mad about?" Shepard muttered, turning her head away from Miranda, eyes shut tightly.
"That's hardly logical, just looking at something cannot..." Miranda began to counter the thought when Shepard turned and looked up at her, amber eyes meeting blue.
"Who am I Miri?" She asked softly.
Miranda swore and turned away as the pain struck her again.
Shepard waited a few moments for Miranda to straighten and look at her again in confusion, a look she'd never thought she'd see on the woman's face. "Someone went to a great deal of trouble to ensure that you don't identify me. You see you actually do remember me you just see someone else when you look at me. You only see Stephanie Shepard, not who I was before and when you get close to remembering, that happens and it's clearly getting worse." Shepard closed her eyes and turned her face away from Miranda again.
Miranda looked back to Shepard, a little breathless and wondering if there was a remote possibility that Shepard was right. But who would be able to interfere with her mind like that? Two names came to mind immediately, but which one and why? Not to mention just who was Shepard? She grimaced, inhaling quickly as just thinking about it literally made her head hurt, confirming what Shepard had said.
Shepard heard the gasp and if she hadn't been so doped up on pain meds she would have realized that she felt a whisper of Miranda's pain. She spoke softly, her heart just aching at what this was doing to Miranda, to both of them, "Don't think about who I might be Miranda. Not yet. I know that will be hard just... please wait until it isn't going to kill you."
It was going to take a great deal of effort and concentration not to think about it now but Miranda Lawson was disciplined and determined. The thought of someone toying with her mind like this was galling. She would undo this, she'd brought Shepard back from the dead and she was in a field of her own when it came to the intricacies of the human body. Returning to her bed with tightly clenched fists and jaw she vowed she would find whoever did this to her and make them pay. Glancing over to Shepard, who was silently crying, she was determined that she would remember who Shepard was. Why Shepard had looked at her with utmost trust the first time she had opened her captivating amber eyes on that operating table.
I know, I know you all wanted the 'I'm Persephone' moment. I swear it will come and it will be so totally worth it! Hope I was able to capture some of the deep emotions in this one.
Oh and couldn't kill off Aria juuust yet, Patriarch does need some time to prepare after all and Aria will most definitely be retaliating for being so forcefully shown up, Seph might have a 'do-what-i-want-and-get-away-with-it' badge but we all know that always has consequences.