Chapter 20:
I wake up, feeling too hot again. I'm tangled up in Troy. His legs are tangled up with mine, his arm is embracing my upper body, placed just around my belly as if he wanted to make sure the baby - as well as me - stays with him. His head is rested on my breasts. He is taking deep, regular breaths which create goosebumps on my skin. He's still sleeping.
I grin, resisting the feeling to brush through his dark blonde hair. My man. The love of my life. The father of my child. I belong here, though I didn't know it a year ago. But here I am. Here is where I belong. Where we belong.
The sun has already risen above London, coating this amazing city in bright lights. It's early in the morning, yet I haven't felt more vital than just now. It's amazing, how one person, one moment-
"Good morning, my angel." I hear his voice, ripping me out of my thoughts.
I look down and stare into the most beautiful eyes ever. God, I really hope our child will get his eyes... they're so damn beautiful! A bright smile appears on my lips, "Good morning." I say, brushing through his dark blonde hair.
He returns my smile and leans forward to kiss me, but I turn away. "Morning breath." I mumble as an excuse, when really his smell is making me want to vomit.
He raises an eyebrow at me.
"You should shower." I say to him, being at the edge of vomiting now.
He looks at me confused for a second or two, before his features relax and he smiles at me. "It's the smell which makes you want to vomit not the morning breath, doesn't it?"
I nodd before I run out of my bed, because it really does make me vomit. I puke out the dinner from last night into the marble toilet. God, I hate this pregnancy!
"Are you okay?" he asks me worried as I paddle dry my face with a towel.
My eyes lock with his in the mirror in front of me. He wearing a stripped pjama pants, no shirt. His abs are definitely something you could stare at the whole day. He is leaning against the doorframe, casually and glamorously at the same time. Only he can combine those two contradictions. His bright blue eyes are shining back at me. Yet, they're filled with worry and the protective instinct I have been seeing ever since I told him that I am expecting. He will be an amazing father, no doubt about that.
"I'm fine." I say, nodding. "You should shower."
He walks over to me and hugs me from behind, "You sure?"
His smell fills my nose again, "Yes. Otherwise I will throw up another time."
He chuckles, "I meant your health condition."
I let my body fall against his and close my eyes, inhaling. "I am pregnant." I say, opening my eyes again, "What do you expect? A pregnancy is not just happiness and love. It contains vomitting and mood swings as well." I say with a shrugg, before I turn around and face him.
He smiles at me. It's a heart warming smile. The kind of smile I like best. A smile filled with nothing but love. Love for me and his child. Love for us.
"Shower. Now." I urge him as the smell makes it's way into my nose again.
He nods, "Okay..." he says, releasing me from his hug.
I sigh, feeling cold and lonely already. I watch him stripping off his pants and boxers before he walks into the shower and turns on the hot water. God, he's such a good looking man. Such a breathtaking man... Such an amazing, wonderful, irresistable man!
"Will you continue staring at me the whole time or will you get your sexy ass here as well?" he asks me, facing me with his glorious back as the water runs down his body.
I shake my head, a dirty grin on my lips. He can read my thoughts so easily... How is he doing this? "Give me a minute to brush my teeth." I say back before I start brushing my teeth, my eyes not leaving his body in the mirror the whole time. How lucky am I to have such a man?
"Still waiting!" he calls over the sound of the running water.
I spill out the toothpaste and shake my head, before I make my way to the shower, stripping of my clothes as I go.
"Hi." he says, smiling. His crystal blue eyes shine through the warm steam in the shower cabin.
"Hi." I mumble back before kissing him softly. He deepens the kiss, brings it to another level. Sexual desire starts flowing through my veins within a second, making me want more, making me need more. More than just a kiss from him.
"How do I smell now?" he asks me with a smirk on his lips. Oh, he knows exactly what he's doing to me! Turning me on, just to leave me all needing and beging.
"You smell of sex." I say back, before brushing through his hair. "A big amount of sex."
He frowns, "But we didn't even-"
I shut him off with a kiss, pulling his body closer to mine. He kisses me back, giving everything he has. Giving his heart, his soul away - just like me. I run my fingers down his back, feeling every muscle contract as I move.
Abruptly, he lets go of my lips. "Not here." he says into my eyes.
What?! No, he can't just leave me here all horny and wanting and needing and beging! I frown. No. Please? I show him my best puppy eyes.
He chuckles. Does he think this is funny?! This is not funny! Anything but funny! "You can show me your puppy eyes as much as you want, but I won't fuck you in a slippery shower. Not when I have to consider the health of my child as well."
My frown disappears. Of course... the child.
He kisses me quickly. "Let's just shower, okay?"
I nodd, although I seriously wonder how I can enjoy a normal shower with Troy, while I am still horny as hell. "But we will be having sex, right? I mean, just because I am pregnant, doesn't mean, we won't have sex... right?" I couldn't bare living seven months without any sex at all. Especially not with a man this sexy by my side.
He chuckles again before he smiles at me. "Nothing can keep me away from you, my angel. Not even our child." He says in a seductive voice, making my lungs loose all it's air. He's making me breathless. As it used to be.
The open fireplace in the living room fills this cold autumn night with warmth. The fire is creating a soft, cozy lightning. We're sitting on the floor, tangled up in each other's sweaty bodies which are covered with a soft cashmere blanket. Troy was right when he said that nothing could keep him away from me - and I am so glad because pregnant sex is amazing. The best sex ever. Ever!
His fingers trail up and down my bare right arm, creating goosebumps on my skin right away. My nerves react to his touch, creating a deep desire for him once more. How could I have lived three months without this feeling? Without his touch? Without his lips? Without his hot breath on my skin? Without his addictive smile? It all seems so impossible right now...
"I'm scared, you know..." he whispers into my ear as I lean my back against his muscular upper body.
"I know..." I whisper back, inhaling his scent. God, how could I have lived without this scent?!
"What if I screw up?" he asks again, causing me to open my eyes.
He looks deep into my eyes, making me feel his fear of what we're getting ourselves into. "You won't." I promise him, fondling his cheek. "You will be a great father, Troy. You will be a little too protective and you will worry like crazy, but you will be an awesome father. Trust me on this. You will not screw this up."
"What if... What if it won't love me?"
I release myself from his embrace and turn around so I face him. How could I have not seen this? This... This horror? It's unimaginably huge! I brush through his silky dirty blonde hair, before I kiss him softly. "Children are programed to love their parents. It's impossible to not love your parent, Troy."
"You don't love your mother. The one who gave birth to you, remember?"
I sigh, "She screw it up big time. Many times. She... She tore this bridge of love apart. And I refuse to build it again. I am happier without her. I don't need my... My mother to exist." I explain to him in the best way possible, "But I... I used to love her. Unconditionally. Before... Before it all started." I say and shrugg.
"I don't understand why you still love your father but not your mother?"
"My father only hurt me physically. He hurt me because he didn't know where to go with his anger, frustration and pain. So, he took it out on me. Back then, I... I rather wanted him to take it out on me than on Victoria. Hurting me physically didn't meant that he had stoped loving me. He still loved me. I saw it in his eyes when he abused me. His eyes were filled with anger, frustration... Pain. And then... There was this... This tiny bit of love in his eyes. It was there anyway. That's why... Why I didn't stop it by turning to Victoria. Because when I looked into her eyes I... I didn't see it. I didn't see this bit of love in here eyes. I saw nothing. But my father..." I brush through my hair, "he loved me even when he hurt me."
"Why did you leave with Victoria then and not stayed with your father then?"
"Where do all these questions come from?" I ask him smiling.
He shrugs, "I'd like to know..."
I bite my lip, before I let silence take over us. I can't tell him... I have never told anyone this... But if I don't tell him, then who else? A shrink? No, shrinks are nothing for me. I take a deep breath, "He asked me to go." I say in one breath.
Troy frowns at me.
"I wanted to stay. God I so wanted to stay..." I say, travelling back in time. "But he asked me to go. Leave him and never look back. He said that a girl needs her mother. Not father." I say and shrugg, feeling tears building in my eyes. "That's why I left. He said that one day he would... One day we would see each other again. I'm still waiting for the day to happen." I say, feeling a tear rolling down my cheek.
He removes the tear with his thump, "It must be hard..."
"I'm doing okay. I have you. I have my family here in London."
"Do you know where he is?"
I shake my head, "I don't even know if he's still alive to be honest."
He nodds.
"Anymore questions?"
"Just one."
I nodd.
"Where did you meet your... Your family as you call it?" he asks, refering to the my only family I need... To Kelsi and Miley.
I frown. I don't want to go down that road. It was one of the darkest parts of my life. But at the same time one of the lightest parts of my life. It was the hardest time in my life before I met Troy... Harder than anything else. I shake my head. "Why the digging in my past?"
He shrugs, "Your shit is mine, remember?"
I chuckle, remembering this quote from a year ago. "I don't have to share this shit with you... It might be too heavy after all."
"I won't break under the weight of your past, I promise. It won't make me run away."
"You walked out on me once. Perhaps you'll do it again."
He fondles my cheek, "I won't walk out on you again. I promise this, my angel. I walked away from my fear. But not from you. I could never walk away from you, because you keep on haunting me. You kept haunting me when we were separate. I saw you in my dreams every single time I fell asleep. I smelled your scent all the times. Sometimes I even heard you laugh... You see, there is no way I could ever walk out on you."
I had no idea he felt the way I did when we were separate... We really have this twisted connection. A connection which will survive anything - from abusing parents to ruined careers. I nodd, "Okay..."
"Okay..." he echos me before kissing me softly.
I brush through his dirty blonde hair as I deepen the kiss. He returns it, giving into it much more than I ever could. I feel the hot desire flowing through my veins, demanding it's satisfaction. I feel his hands travelling down my back as his errection starts growing. Without letting go of his lips, I position myself on him, letting him fill me up completely and slowly. It's the best feeling in the world, I think as I feel him stretching me. Never before have I felt this way when I had sex. Only with him. Because with him I am making love. I am experiencing sex as something wonderfull connected to emotions... So strong emotions... Connected to my love for him and his for me.
He lets go of my swollen lips, giving me air to breath. His eyes are glowing with desire and love... For me. I still can't get over the fact that I really have him here... Inside of me. "I'm so glad that you found me." he whispers to me.
I return his smile, "Me, too." I whisper before I kiss him quick. "I don't know how I used to live before you... It seems so impossible."
"I know..." he says, brushing through my locks. "I love you."
"I love you, too." I say before I feel his lips crashing against mine. We let our feelings for one another take control of us once more. I feel his lips on my neck, my shoulders, my breasts... Everywhere. Moans escape my mouth, voicing my desire. My hands travel down his muscular back, making each muscle velicate from my touch. I'm so glad that he's feeling the same for me as I do for him. This insatiable desire.
Suddenly, I hear the door getting unlocked far, far back in my mind. I ignore this sound, maybe it's the wind or something. I don't want this feeling to stop. This feeling he is giving me. I don't want this moment to end. This moment of perfection.
"Oh fuck!" I hear Ryan's voice, which abruptly stops the feeling of desire inside of me.
I open my eyes and look into Troy's.
"I am... So sorry to be interrupting." I hear Ryan's voice again before I turn my head to the side. He's standing in the foyer, dressed in a dark coat. The silver suitcase is standing beside him. He looks tired... "I mean you guys are obviously occupied by-"
"Ryan?" I ask him.
"Yes?" he asks me, still shocked about what he is seeing.
"Turn around!" I hiss at him.
He does as he's told, "Right, sorry... Listen, I am really glad that you guys are celebrating your get-together, but... I mean could you please-"
"We'll be gone in a few seconds." Troy interrupts him.
I frown at Troy, who is grinning at me. "Do you think this is funny?!" My brother has never caught me having sex. Never before.
Troy shakes his head, "Of course not..."
"Actually, it is." Ryan says and I can imagine him smiling.
"Ry, could you -"
He nodds, "I'll be in the kitchen, so you guys can... Uhm, leave." he says before walking into the kitchen.
"Wraps your legs around my waist." Troy demands, his glowing eyes take my breath away once more. How can a man hold so much passion inside him and not explode?
He won't let me walk myself? Oh that's so totally fine with me. I do as I am told and he lifts us from the floor within one glamouros movement.
"You sure I am not too heavy for you?" I say, holding the blanket as he walks with me into the foyer.
"You're never going to be too heavy for me, Ella. You're perfect." he says back, placing his hand beneath my butt as he starts walking up the stairs. I love it that he can walk with me, while we're still connected to each other. While I still feel him inside of me. I love that he doesn't want to break this connection as much as I do.
"The living room is clear! You can come out now." I yell, resting my head on Troy's shoulder.
Ryan appears into the foyer and smirks at me as he watches me getting carried away by Troy. He mouths me a "Finally!" and I roll my eyes in response.
Seconds later we reached my bedroom and I hear Troy closing the door as his lips connect with mine again. Desire starts floating through my veins, like it never stoped. Within seconds, I am horny again, forgetting everything that's around me once more. He is always making me forget everything around me. Everything but him and me. As it used to be.
"Wow." I say breathlessly as he pulls out of me and lays next to me on the bed. "Thank you." I say, grinning. My desire definitely has been satisfied. Let's just see for how long.
"No, thank you." he says, rolling over to his side, to look at me. He returns my grin right away. His grin is so beautiful, so addictive... So perfect.
"Pregnant sex is amazing." I mumble before kissing him once more.
"And we don't have to care about protection anymore." he says, brushing through my hair.
"We should be a little more carefull with the location, though." I say, chuckling. "Ryan is definitely going to kick me out now."
"Then move in with me." he says casually.
I frown before I look at him, "What?" I didn't expect this. Not from him. Not... Not now! Suddenly, I am all awake. I lift myself and look down at him. He's asking me to move in with him? N-Now?!
"Move in with me. I mean, we're going to be a family anyway... And down the road we will be living together. Why not fast forward and move in now... Before the baby comes you can get settled in." he explains, lifting himself up so we're even.
"I..." I am speechless. I mean, this does sound all reasonable and right but... How am I suppose to tell him that I don't like his house?
"What's wrong?" he asks me frowning.
I bite on my lip.
"If you don't want to then just-"
"No... No. I do... I'd like to move in with you." I say without thinking. As soon as those words escaped my mouth, I know that I really do want to move in with him. I don't want to spend another day without him anymore. Never again, I want to be separate from him. Not in this way.
"But?"
"I don't like your house." I say in one breath. There, I said it. "I mean, I... It's your house. It represents you... It is so you, Troy. And I love that. I love seeing this house and thinking of you. It's like this house has been builed for you..."
"But not for you." he says back.
I nodd, "I'm not sure I can be... I mean, it's an amazing house with an amazing architecture but..."
"It's not a house for you."
"Yes." I say, unsure what he's going to say now. What his reaction is going to be.
He laughs, "That's the only problem you're worrying about?"
"Uhm... Yes."
"We'll find another house together then."
"But then you have to mo-"
"It's just a house, Ella. I'll go anywhere with you. As long as I have you, there's nothing I wouldn't do. I would even move to the other end of the world for you." he says softly, brushing through my hair, in his eyes nothing but love.
"Just out of the house will be enough." I mumble before kissing him softly.
Two weeks later:
"Miss Montez?" the nurse asks.
Lucas and me raise synchronically from the chair in the waiting area. We walk down a thin long hallway and into the examine room at the end of the hallway.
"I'm getting fat feet, you know." I say as I sit down and look at my feet. I love my feet! They're slim and... Not too big.
Lucas chuckles, "You're not getting fat feet."
"I am!" I protest. "Sooner than you know, I'm going to need new shoes because my feet will grow! I don't want to have fat feet..."
A doctor walks into the examine room. Her long brunette hair has been pinned up. Her bright blue eyes are shining as she sees Lucas and me waiting for her.
"Oh you must be the father then!" she says to Lucas, shaking hands with him, "It's so nice to finally meet you."
Lucas frowns at her. "No, I'm not the father. I'm the uncle to be." If only she knew that he actually could have been the father in theory... Oh boy, she so has no idea what my life is like.
Her smile drops as confusion makes its way into her brain. She nods, smiling a little "Well, it's nice to meet the uncle to be then."
"Who are you?" I ask her frowning. Dr. Ross is my gynecologist. Not... not her!
"Oh, I'm sorry Miss Montez, I'm Dr. Stevens. " she says, handing me her perfect manicured hand.
I shake it, "Where's Dr. Ross?"
"Right, he's stuck in hospital. One of his patients is giving birth right now. That's why he asked me to fill in for him."
I nod, "Okay."
She smiles a softly smile at me, "Good. So, with the uncle to be right here and not the father like I thought... Sorry about that again."
Lucas smiles, "No problem."
I chuckle, "The father is on a business trip in France right now. He'll come to the next ultrasound... hopefully."
Flashback
"When's your next ultrasound?" he asks me, drawing circles on my belly with his finger as I play with his short, messy hair.
Sweat drops are visible on my stomach from the sex we just had, which is still as flat as it used to be. No visible sign of my pregnancy down there. But further up, there has been changes. Big changes. My breasts have grown a lot and are now enormously big. It's ridiculous how huge my breasts are. Something Troy likes already about this pregnancy.
"In three days." I say to him. I can't wait for him to see the baby!
He lifts his head up and looks me in the eyes, "In three days you say?"
I nod, he sounds worried. "What is wrong?"
"I have a business meeting in Paris in three days." he mumbles and frowns.
Oh. "Okay..." I mumble. So, he won't see our baby. Not yet, anyways. That sucks. I'd like him to be there... To share this with him. I mean, it's the closest he can get to be with the baby.
"But I-" I place my finger in front of his mouth, making him stop talking.
"Go on your business trip. It's important. For you. For your job. For your family." I say, smiling at him.
He sighs, "But I could-"
I shake my head, "Fly to France. I will be fine. We will be fine without you for a couple of days..." I lie, I'm going to miss him like crazy. "How long will you be here?"
"Two days. I can't bare being longer away from you."
A smirk appears on my lips. "Me neither."
End of Flashback
"How are you doing, Gabriella?" Dr. Stevens rips me out of my flashback.
"No morning sickness anymore. Thank God, that was horrible!" I say, rolling my eyes. "Other than that I am pretty fine... Beside the feet thing."
"What feet thing?" she asks me worried.
"Gabi thinks she will get enormously fat feet. Which won't happen." Lucas says to me.
"Your feet will grow. You might need new shoes soon."
"See? I told you!" I say to Lucas, who rolls his eyes at me.
"Lift your shirt, so we can have a look at the baby." Dr. Stevens says to me.
I do as she said before she puts cold gel on my stomach. With the ultrasound she moves around on my stomach and stops as a heartwarming sound starts filling the room.
"What is that?" Lucas asks surprised.
"The baby's heartbeat." I explain to him, pointing at the monitor, "And that's the baby."
His green eyes are filled with a sparkle as they look at the monitor, "Wow... My niece... or nephew."
I chuckle, "Any chance to see the sex?" I ask Dr. Ross.
"If we're lucky..." she says before she starts moving the ultrasound a little on my stomach, "And we're lucky."
I raise an eyebrow at her.
"A girl." she announces smiling. "Congrats."
A grin appears on my face. A girl... A tiny girl!
"I told you it's a girl." Lucas says to me before he kisses my forehead. "My niece."
Troy's daughter.
Our daughter.
I take a sip of my herbal tea, staring out of the window, which offers a view of the full streets in London. London is crowded. So crowded. Actually, London is always crowded - no matter the time or place.
"Okay, so I just talked to Miley and she said that she will come with us to this benefical event tonight." I hear Lucas voice before I turn my head around. He walks through the crowded café, over to me.
I smile, "Good. Kelsi is still in Sweden, so she won't be able to attend."
"Did you ask Ryan already?" he asks me, getting seated next to me at the bar.
I nod, "He'll attend as well."
"So, Miley, Ryan, you and me." he says smiling.
"Speaking of Miley, how are things with her?"
His soft smile turns into a grin. "She's moving in with me."
I frown, "Now?"
He shrugs, "Well, obviously not right now, but she said yes."
I hug him, "I'm so happy for you!"
"Me, too."
"What did she say about the flat?"
"She loved it. But she wants to redecorate it though." he says, chuckling. "She didn't really love the interior design." he explains with a shrug. Such a shame.
I laugh, "That's so Miley."
"So, she's going to redecorate it first and then move in with me."
I nodd, "That's good." I say, hearing my phone ringing in my purse. I quickly get it out and look at the display. Shit, my meeting with Kevin at the studio is in thirty minutes. "I have to go."
Lucas frowns at me, "Why?"
"I have a meeting with Kevin." I say, rising from the chair. "We have an appointment for a magazine this afternoon. Vogue."
"Vogue? What does Vogue want from you?"
I shrugg. "I'll let you know when I found out."
"Do you want me to give you a lift?"
I shake my head, "I'll walk. I need the air."
"You sure?"
"Positive." I say, smiling before I hug him. "Thanks for coming to the ultrasound with me today, Luc."
"You don't have to thank me. I am the uncle to be, hell I'd do anything for you!" he says, grinning.
I return his grin, "Alright. See you tonight then."
"Yes." he says before I walk out of the café.
The streets are full of people, who are busy. I get lost in the crowded streets of London as I try to make my way to my studio. It's only three blocks away, so I won't walk that long.
Families are rushing through the thin streets. Business men are walking pass me, not caring if they accidently bump against me.
I stop at a red light with all the other busy humans. Buses, cars, black cabs and bicyclists rush through the streets. It's amazing how active London's streets are. I frown as I see a white teddy bear falling on the street, right in front of the cars. The cars rush by, making the teddy bear fly through the air. Seconds later I see a little brown haired girl running after it, while the mother is talking to her older brother. Rather yelling than talking, but I guess it could be considered a conversation though.
Without thinking twice, I walk after the little girl, who could get run over by a car really easily. The people are standing by so closely, that it takes time to make my way through the standing crowd. The girl in the white dress bends down and picks up the teddy bear with a huge smile on her lips. Then she starts to make her way back to her mommy, all smiling. In the corner of my eye I see a black cab driving towards her at a very high speed. I run on the streets and grab the girl to pull her out of the danger zone - and me right into it. A nanosecond later, I hear the brakes of the black cab. But the braking distance is not long enough, I notice as the black cab crashs against my body. I feel my body spinning in the air before it hits the hard, black asphalt of one of the streets in London.
I hear shoutings... mumbling... and crying... I think, the little girl is crying... No, please, don't cry... I saved your teddy... You have your teddy back... Your white teddy... Don't cry... Please.
The voices vanish... The crying disappears...
Nothing. It's completely silent now.
Suddenly, I am left in the darkness.
In peace.
In a starless sky.
BIG SHOCKER! Do you think Gabriella's going to be alright?
Good news: There WILL BE a Sequel.
I've hidden the title of the sequel in this chapter. Can you find it?
Xoxo Nic