(Hope you all had a nice week and are keeping cool.) Rose and Jade
The plane finally landed and Randy got up. "Our Range Rover should be in the extended lot."
John followed Randy. A short time later they were on their way home. "I just want to relax in my bed in my room." He said as they neared the house.
"Of course, Babe...before bed tonight though we should go through our bags and look for my necklace and your tags...and both our phones." Randy told him.
"As soon as we get home...I need to see if your necklace is in there. If not I'm calling them." John glared.
"Of course, Babe...that's fine by me." Randy smiled as he pulled up to the gate and enter the code. "We really should think of an updated code." He sighed as he pulled into the property.
"I'll change it to something else before we go." John sighed as well. "I'm afraid to ask...how bad did Jeremy wreck our place?"
"Let me just say...Josie deserves a BIG holiday bonus." Randy sighed. "He wouldn't clean anything himself. He couldn't cook worth shit."
"Fuck...okay. Why do I have a feeling everyone in my life hates me now?" John's eyes lowered at the thought.
"We will think of something, Babe...everyone thought you were acting off because of a head injury… you can say you got hypnosis or something." Randy suggested as they parked.
"Yeah...need to apologize to Cody." John climbed from the vehicle and went for his luggage to take it inside. Randy helped with the bags and unlocked the door for John. Once in the bedroom, they began to sort things. In the front pockets of both carry-on bags were their phones, wallets, passports and the necklaces. John's dog tags were missing the blessed medal.
"Fuck them!" John cursed, seeing the medal was gone. "Oh well...what did I expect?" He moved to put on his dog tags.
"Yeah...I guess working with a demon...that would be an issue." Randy commented. "Wonder why they didn't take mine though?"
"No idea." John walked over the place he kept the Brawling Buddy and Mr. Slimy. "Uh...Baby...where is Mr. Slimy and my buddy? Where is Mr. Scales?"
"On the chair where they always are." Randy commented as he turned. "What the fuck!" He exclaimed. "Oh, come on! That asshole!"
John's face actually almost crumpled. "He...tossed them out?" He began to look around but saw no sign of the stuffed toys.
"He...He threatened to." Randy told him. "Didn't think he actually would...I swear I saw them last time I was home." He went to try to help look.
John looked all around the room. He felt a sigh of relief when he opened the large walk in closet. "They got tossed in here!" He called as he hurried in and back out with his arms full.
Randy couldn't help but laugh at the sight. "You look like a kid on Christmas morning, Babe. Come on and let's put them back where they belong."
John smiled as he moved to carefully put the two snakes and buddy on the chair. "We need to get a buddy of you to keep them all paired up."
Randy laughed. "Good luck finding them at this point. Most likely need to track a toy collector."
"I'm sure I can find one on Ebay. Fuck the cost." John grinned as he walked to the bed.
"Well, I'm sure you aren't worried about the cost." Randy laughed as he went to pick up his choker, putting it back on. "There...do I look like me again?"
John offered a smile. "Yeah...so much better."
Randy slipped off his shirt and moved to get into the bed with a relaxing sigh. John moved to strip down to his boxers. His back was littered with lingering bruises and healing cuts from Kane's treatment. Randy tried not to look sad seeing the marks. "They have gotten sloppy." He faintly said.
John paused to look over from where he stripped. "What are you talking about, Baby? Sloppy?"
"Your back...what if there is scarring?" Randy sighed as he got up moving around to John. "What if they aren't gone by the time we go back to work?" Randy shook his head. "It's like they don't care anymore."
John's face paled and his eyes lowered. "T-There are still marks? I told you I never felt such pain."
"Yeah...and they're over a week old, Babe...at least that is what that place told us...that we were there about a week." He lifted John's chin. "It doesn't bother me...just worried is all." He leaned to lightly kiss John's lips. John's lips trembled slightly. What if his back was permanently scarred? His work required he look a certain way. Even all the movie roles he loved to be in. Would it even matter if they kept adding more? John's eyes looked wet with tears after the kiss. He moved to lay down. Even in his home he felt defective. Randy moved back into the bed next to John. He moved close to hold the older man. He wanted he actions to show he still loved and cherished his husband.
"I'm going to lose my spot in the company." John said almost numbly. " No women will want me shirtless if my back is fucked up...no movie will want me."
"We will think of something, Babe. I will check them later...maybe they aren't so bad. Remember mine formed over years." Randy told him.
"There will be more...Kane told me so." John mumbled. " Maybe I should step back...work backstage in the office or something. "
"Well, he needs to be more careful than." Randy stated firmly. He moved until he could almost pin John, straddling his waist. "They said we would be returning to work...not working different jobs. They want us to be good then they need to hold up their end too."
John's eyes were haunted and wet. His mind was full of so many fears and emotional pain. "Yeah...guess so."
Randy worried he was scaring John. "Want me to move, Babe?"
"No...it's fine." John reached to pull Randy down closer. He breathed deep, taking in the scent of his husband. Randy relaxed with a smile as he practically laid on top of John, letting the older man hold him. John's large arm held Randy close. "I missed you so much. I was so worried about you for weeks." He whispered near Randy's ear.
"I missed this...I still feel like a fool...but I missed these moments." Randy whispered back, closing his eyes.
"You weren't a fool...you was trying to be a supportive husband." John whispered.
"Thanks, Babe...I...I did almost leave him at one point." Randy sighed. "He may have looked like you...but it wasn't the man I fell in love with. Then I felt guilty. You stayed through the outbursts, the nightmares, at times physical abuse from the PTSD." Randy almost snuggled more against John's chest.
"You're a good man, Baby. Thanks for all you do." John said thickly.
"So are you, Babe." Randy told him. "So, when do you want to take me up on my offer?" Randy lightly chuckled, vibrating his chest against John's.
"Offer?" John asked, confused.
"Me...you...any room until one of us passes out." Randy whispered thickly.
John gave a harsh pant. "Fuck, Baby. Maybe a nap to both get our rest..then take our fun somewhere else...gym or pool room."
Randy laughed before he kissed John's cheek and rolled next to him. "That's fine...I know you said before you wanted some sleep."
"I want to be fully awake before I pass out again." John laughed.
Randy laughed. "Cut the light, Babe?"
John moved to turn off the light. "Hope I can sleep."
"Think if I hold you it will help?" Randy asked.
"It can't hurt...sounds nice anyway." John smiled. He moved closer to Randy.
Randy shifted to drape one arm over John and hook his leg over his. "There we go, Babe...nice and shielded." Randy had an amused thought that quickly turned sad as he remembered a time this position was almost reversed.
John had the exact same thought and it broke his heart. "I...used to be so strong for you...I was your rock...I hate what they've done."
"We will be each other's rocks." Randy whispered.
John closed his eyes as he gave a smile. "A-At least S...Mistress was good to you last time."
"Yes she was." Randy told John. Randy nuzzled John. "Let's just rest now, Babe." John closed his eyes and felt himself drifting off. Randy let his body relax and try to drift off. John actually slept without nightmares. The men woke toward evening and enjoyed a nice meal they ordered in from a local Chinese place. John savored every bite as he had been living off mostly chicken as a prisoner.
Randy cleaned his plate feeling sated. "That was good."
"Yeah, it was..." John seemed like he had something on his mind and heart. " Ran...did it bother you when Kane told you I like things hard...and I agreed? "
"I guess I…" Randy stalled a moment. "I guess I worry about not being good enough."
"He tried to make you feel that way to get in your head but you are." John told Randy. " You've always been enough, Baby. Even before I loved you."
"Because I was rougher than...meaner." Randy replied. "Maybe I...maybe I need to try to tap into that."
"We could play in the pool room...you could stalk me." John offered. " Then fuck me until I pass out...might do us both good...I'm sure you miss that sense of control...and I love submitting to someone. "
Randy chuckled. "Stalking you?" He made a hum sound, tapping his finger on his jaw. "Guess I'll need to stick lube in my pocket."
"You know like a Viper after his prey?" John laughed. Randy had not been able to fuck him since their reunion other than Jeremy using him as a toy.
"Yeah, that works." Randy chuckled.
John gave a shaky pant. "Make me suck your cock first."
"Okay...any other requests?" Randy asked.
"Whatever you want...slap my ass...tie me up...anything." John shifted in his seat.
"Might need to look in your garage a few moments." Randy laughed as he watched how excited John was already becoming.
John licked his dry lips. "Sounds good."
"Should I give you a head start so you don't know when it's coming?" Randy commented.
"Sounds good." John gave a dimpled grin as he stood to clean up their dinner mess. Randy got up and went on his little scouting expedition.
John finished and walked to get ready for the pool room. He changed into a pair of dark blue board shorts before making the walk to the room. The moment he entered his piece of paradise, he took a big sigh. Some of the stress and pain faded from his mind. It was a good ten or fifteen minutes before Randy came in wearing black shorts and holding a small bag with him. He looked around to see if he could spot John at first somewhere. John was leaning against a palm tree, looking at the water. His back was turned purposely to the doorway to not see Randy.
Randy shook his head with a smirk. He walked slowly closer before he stooped to set the bag down as he moved. As he got near John he moved his arm around so he could actually take John by the neck, pushing him towards the tree. "Thought you could sneak away from me, Cena?" His voice held the deep baritone of the Viper in the ring.
John gasped at the quick movement. "You followed me into my private paradise? Stalker, Orton?"
"Well, you snuck away so fast I couldn't collect my spoils of our last fight." Randy moved around to now face John with a smirk across his lips and the old Viper like gaze. "I do believe we had an agreement." He cocked his head slightly. "So, are you going to pay up…" He licked his lips. "Or will I need to pull it from you?"
John felt heat travel straight to his groin at the actions of his husband. He had not seen this side in years. "Pay up how? What exactly are you expecting?"
Randy pushed up slightly on John's jaw, tilting his head. "Well, first was that mouth doing something besides talking. We will see what else after that...since I did have to track you down for payment."
John was so tempted to say yes. He wanted to suck Randy so badly but he wanted it rough so he shook his head no. "I'm not sucking your cock, Orton. Sorry."
"I guess I'm pulling it from you then." Randy replied. "We all know it's not exactly foreign to you." He moved to tighten pressure on the sides of John's neck to pull him away from the tree and down towards the grass.
"What the fuck's that supposed to mean?" John snapped as he was forced down.
"What do you think that means, Cena?" Randy asked as he moved one foot to step and press down on John's ankle to limit his chance of moving away.
"Sounds like you're calling me a slut." John growled as he tried to move.
"Well, if the shoe fits." He went to work his shorts down, grasping his cock with a stroke. "Or in this case the hole."
"You don't seem to mind...you keep coming back for more." John glared.
"Hey. I like what I like." Randy moaned as he ran the pad of his thumb over the tip of his cock. "So, you going to sit up like a good boy...or will I need to pound that head into the ground?"
"I'll sit up." John grumbled.
"Awe, don't be sour, Cena." Randy mockingly cooed as he moved to finish removing his shorts. "We both know you will be begging me to fuck you before we are done."
"Doubt it...with my mouth you'll probably blow in ten minutes. Been awhile since you had a nice pair of lips around your cock?" John smirked. He knew Jeremy would never do it.
"You would still be begging...then you would just need to wait." Randy smirked. "You know no one pounds that ass like I do." He moved so his cock was near John's mouth. "Now get started." John leaned to take Randy's cock inside his mouth. He tried not to moan at the familiar feel and taste of it. Randy moved to put one hand on the back of John's head to pushing deeper. "That's it." He gave a faint pant as he moved to control the speed and how far John went down. "Yeah...like this don't you."
John loved the feeling of being controlled and how far he was forced to go. John let a small moan slip passed his packed lips. "Yeah, I knew you were cock hungry, Cena." Randy moaned as he now used both hands for better control. "You want to feel me all the way down don't you? It makes you hard thinking about it." John relaxed his throat so Randy could push almost his full length down his throat. He was so hard in his shorts the fabric was tenting. "Mmm, yeah...want to feel me coat that throat don't you?" Randy moaned, feeling as he could work John near his base. "First feel me fill that mouth...then you be a good bitch for me to get ready to fill that ass too." Randy moaned deeply. John let Randy take full control, only moaning. He enjoyed submitting and knew Randy had not been able to control things for awhile. Randy continued for a pretty decent time before he couldn't hold back more. "Oh, fuck yeah you have a hot mouth." He moaned as he came, filling John's mouth before he pulled out, letting it even dribble down John's chin.
John drank then moved to wipe it from his face. "Happy now?" He asked, looking up.
"Happy...yes….done...no." Randy smirked as he moved a foot to push down on John's straining cock. "Looks like you need a release...Give me a couple minutes I'm sure I can work on round two."
John groaned as he moved to stand. "I'll be fine...I'll jerk off or something."
"Um...no." Randy replied as he jerked John up, wrapping an arm around him to act as though he was dragging him back toward where he had the bag.
"What the fuck! You got your rocks off." John complained as he let Randy drag him along.
"Maybe I feel like being a two shot wonder tonight." Randy said as he wrestle John down on his stomach. He tried not to make a wince sound, seeing the marks on John's back as well as a pulling on his own side. He straddled across the middle of John's back as he reached for the bag.
"What the fuck are you doing?" John snapped.
"Making sure you stay still like a good bitch." Randy replied as he pulled some rope from the bag and went to pulls John's hands behind him, lashing them together.
"This is ridiculous! Let me go!" John complained as he put on a struggle.
Randy reached behind him to slap John's ass giving a sharp intake of air as he did. "I'll let you go when I'm done with you." He went for the bag a second time.
John huffed. "This is what I get for sucking your dick."
"Oh, you liked it or you wouldn't be hard." Randy retorted as he pulled out a roll of duct tape and ripped of a nice size strip.
John just huffed again. "I'm so going to kick your ass for this."
"How many times have I heard that?" Randy asked as he moved one arm to hook John's jaw, pulling back. "I think too many now." He used his other hand to slap the tape over John's mouth before releasing him.
John grunted, glaring daggers as he turned his head to look at Randy. In reality he was so hard his leaking cock was wetting the inside of his shorts. Randy lifted up and since John was already looking at him he grabbed his arm to roll him over. John grunted as his hard cock was freed to the air. It was already showing signs of strain, his balls swollen and tight.
Randy smirked, taking a hand to slap John's cock. "You are just a cock slut aren't you, Cena?" John's eyes widened the same time his body arched as sexual heat went through him. No one had ever slapped his cock before. It didn't get much attention as he was a bottom. He gave a muffled moan. Randy raised a brow, looking. "Hmm, you liked that?"He slapped it again. "The little man like abuse too?" John's eyes almost rolled as his cock bounced. He had never felt anything so intense before even with all of Kane's treatments.
Randy chuckled thickly. "I wonder if the twins are as sensitive?" He took one hand to lift John's cock as the other slapped up on the balls before grasping them in his hand. John's body shuddered as he fought hard not to cum. He could feel his manhood throbbing from the sensation. He gave a loud moan.
"Hmmm wonder if you can finish just from my abusing your little bits." Randy mused as he began to roll John's balls. "I felt your cock jump big time."
John glared but his legs spread as if welcoming the touch. His body craved more and more. Randy seemed to switch between rolling John's balls and slapping them as he jerked his cock. "Come on, you want to show me...you want to cum for me." Randy smirked. A small part of him knew he may have been playing dirty. Something in John's mind made his body obey the words. He moaned as his body tensed, shooting his load to coat Randy's hand. He panted hard, sweat on his brow. Randy smirked as he went to remove the tape from John's mouth. "Well, that's one each now."
"Fuck...never felt anything like it...ever." John panted. "Most people never touch my cock."
"I'll keep that in mind." Randy chuckled. "Let you breath before round two."
"Y-Yeah...spank my ass until it's red and fuck me into the ground." John panted. His face was red as he tried to catch his breath some.
"Yeah, I think that can be arranged. Want me to free your hands so you're not eating grass." Randy asked.
"No, I want tied...rough and dirty like the Viper." John said thickly.
"Okay." Randy chuckled as he moved. He moved to grab John near the waist and flip him to his belly. "That's a good view." He slapped one cheek.
"Thanks." John grunted at the slap. " So...who will pass out first? "
"Well, we're tied at one each...so who knows. You better hope it's you." Randy laughed.
"Won't be me." John said stubbornly. "Gonna spank my ass until it's red?"
"I can try." Randy gave two more quick swats. "If I pass out first...who is going to untie you?"
"I'll be fine...I doubt you'll pass out. Harder." John panted, used to Kane's heavy hand. Randy gave two more hard swats. "Y-Yeah...fuck, more." John moaned as his cock began to stir. Kane had amped up John's hidden masochistic tendencies. He had trained John for weeks to respond to hard amounts of pain and convert it into pleasure. Randy tried what he could to give John more. He thought he may need to check into a few things later.
"Yeah...fuck...I want to feel it." John groaned. " S-Sorry, Baby...seems I'm programmed for pain. I think it was there all along. "
"It...It's okay." Randy tried not to sound down. "I will need to find some...tools. My hand is only so hard."
"K-Kane trained me with pain...melded with pleasure...sorry." John's tone lowered.
"Not just him...the demon." Randy clarified. "I'm just a man."
John felt guilt and disgust. He was talking to his husband about how good a demon had made him feel. What was wrong with him? "So sorry, Baby." He almost whispered.
"It's okay." Randy tried to tell John before he took his blunt nails, scratching over the reddened skin. John gave an intake of breath at the feeling. He loved nails over his sensitive skin. Against better judgement Randy moved his hand to lightly use his nails over some of the marks on John's back.
"F-Fuck." John's eyes almost rolled back as the feeling went beyond sensual. " W-What the fuck...oh my god. " It was a heady blend of pain and pleasure.
"That a good oh my god?" Randy asked.
"Fuck...you have no idea...almost unreal pain and pleasure." John cried out. " I suspect he left his mark on me for a reason. "
"Should I avoid it or focus on it?" Randy wondered.
"Focus...but maybe once you're inside...don't wanna blow yet." John panted.
"Okay, Babe...I'll stop teasing you." Randy moved to slap John's ass two more times before he went for the lube.
John panted as he waited on Randy. "You hard again yet, Baby?"
"A few strokes should get me firm enough to begin." Randy replied as he used some of the lube to slick his semi-firm member. His worries over Kane may have slowed his normal speed.
"Seems slower...you upset?" John wondered as he turned his head.
"I just worried, Babe...then the comment about...him...please just forget it for now. I want us to have fun. This is supposed to be our time for us." Randy told him.
John sighed. He closed his eyes, swallowing hard. "The roleplay part was fun...maybe we should call it a day." Kane seemed to be in the room even now. He had molded John into his pet and he felt dirty for it.
Randy lowered his eyes. "Only if you are sure, Babe?" He removed his hand from his cock. Why should he continue to get himself worked up?
"I'm sure, Baby." John closed his eyes, fighting tears. Was this how things would be between them now? He would crave the pain and turn Randy away? Tension seemed thick in the pool room. John felt so tainted. Randy moved to untie John, rubbing over the marks from the rope. John was quiet the whole time as he stood. Why would Randy want him now when it seemed he was no more than Kane's bitch? Randy did not get to fuck him still. He moved to begin picking up his clothing. Randy stayed kneeling on the ground as he reached around him to gather the items he had used. He felt weak and a failure. John's eyes looked almost empty as he walked to sit down on one of the chairs. He wished he could take back everything Kane had done to train him. He felt depressed, knowing the session was nothing like they had anticipated.
Once packed, Randy slowly stood. "I'm going to go to the shower room...clean...maybe a dip after." He said in a low tone before walking off with his head lowered. John lowered his head once Randy left. His husband sounded so disappointed. Maybe he should have stayed with Kane and let Jeremy have his life. He was too damaged to make Randy happy. Randy dropped the bag outside the shower room before he moved inside to one of the stalls, turning the water on. He hung his head, not fully focusing as he cleaned the lube from this body. He thought he heard a laugh and tried to ignore it. 'I'm in your head and now his Randy.' The familiar dark tone taunted. "Shut up!" Randy yelled out. 'Awe, the truth stings...you are weak compared to me...compared to what John is wanting. How can you ever think of keeping up?' "You're not real you're not here!" Randy shouted.
'You so sure of that fact. Who says I can't be here to visit you boys?' Randy heard the laugh again. 'He may love you but his body craves me. You are but a poor replacement as he patiently waits for me to call him into service.' Randy closed his eyes, shaking his head. He had to keep telling himself it was just his own insecurities playing with his head. He jumped and took a swing when he thought he felt something grab him. He only found empty space though. He finally shut the water off and left, not even noticing his skin look pale from the fright. John was lost in his own world, sitting in the pool room. The session had hurt him deeply. He feared he was no good to Randy now. Would they have no sex life outside of shared times of service?
Randy moved to the pools edge, jumping in hoping the cool water would clear his head. Was his mind playing tricks? What if they were real this time? They knew the demon could be somewhere without a host at least short term. What if he was really hearing it this time? No...No he could allow himself to think that. John hardly noticed Randy's actions as he stood and slowly walked to the shower. Randy had not topped him in so long it seemed. Tears filled his eyes once he was alone in the shower. Why did a part of him almost crave the structure of Stephanie's prison?
At one point Randy swam to the edge, facing where John was and noticed he was gone. Fear gripped at him. "Babe?! Johnny?!" He frantically looked around him as he remembered John's words on the flight. John had indeed contemplated ending it as he stood in the shower but something stopped him. What did he have to live for? To hurt and disappoint Randy the man he wanted to protect? Randy quickly moved from the water and raced to the top of the man made waterfall to try to survey the area for any sign of John in or out of the water. "Johnny?!" He yelled even if it was debatable if he would be heard over the rumble of the water.
John leaned his head against the shower wall. "Why didn't you just keep me?" He whispered. "Randy deserved better." Randy closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. He saw no discoloration in the water. He didn't see John floating. There had to be an explanation. Maybe John did as he did. He opened his eyes and took a running leap off the fall into the water below. Popping up, he moved for the edge and headed for the shower room, hoping he was right. John lost track of time just leaning against the stall as water rushed from the shower head. He felt a deep emptiness.
Randy felt a sense of relief when he heard the water running inside. He moved to find the stall John was in. Moving behind John, he grabbed the older man, spinning him around until he could kiss him and pull him close to him. The younger man was almost shaking. John was shocked by the quick movement. "Randy?" Randy just moved to rest his head on John's shoulder, still holding him. His body wanted the shake more as tears threatened to fill and fall from his eyes. John tried to think past his own depression as he took an arm to hug Randy. "Baby...what is it?"
Randy slowly pulled back but never fully let go in fear John would vanish. "I...I didn't see you. I...I thought." Randy lowered his eyes. "I...I was wo-worried you did something...um...brash." He swallowed a big gulp, feeling a lump in his throat.
"No...I thought of it. Baby, I'm no good for you. I went from your protector to a fucking pain slut who only knows to serve." John whispered.
Randy went to cup John's face, looking into his eyes. "Do you still love me?" He asked directly, trying not to let his voice shake. He interrupted before John could start. "No buts...just a yes or no."
"Yes." John whispered immediately.
"Do you still love our time together? Quiet dinner, holding each other, movies?" Randy asked next.
"Yes." John whispered again.
"Then while I would love to...I don't care if I never tap that ass again." Randy told John before he leaned in to kiss him deeply under the water spray. "Promise me...you won't try suicide...I still have your heart and I don't like people damaging what's mine."
"I care." John said in a thick tone. "I'm your husband...I care if you never fill me...it would destroy me...you are all I care about. I...couldn't live that way...a sexless marriage."
"Then we can...when you are ready." Randy offered a faint smile. "Just know...I can't offer what...he...it does. But maybe a part of you may still like what I can do. How I can make your body sing naturally?"
"What are you talking about? I was ready...so ready...I wanted you to pound me until I passed out." John said. " You were acting all upset and nervous and could hardly get hard again so I ended it. "
"I'm sorry...feeling compared to something not even human…" Randy lowered his head, shaking it. "It's bad enough being compared to another man. When you're married you don't want to think am I enough? When we are together I don't want comparisons." Randy bit his lip, looking at John. "I know it is a female...but would you want me to start talking about how good Stephanie felt when I fucked her while I am trying to be with you? I know being a bottom you don't need to be hard to perform...but honestly would you be turned on hearing it?"
John felt even more depressed if that were possible. "I wasn't comparing...I fucking Hate Kane! I hate him! I was explaining why I suddenly seem to crave pain due to my training! I was apologizing! Why the mark turned me on when you touched it." He sighed, lowering his eyes. He wanted to disappear and end all the pain.
Randy moved to tilt John's head up. "I'm sorry...I took it wrong. Call it my insecurities." Randy sighed. "I heard it taunting me in here...I...I'm sure it was just my condition. Guess we are two royally fucked up guys."
"M-Maybe sex isn't a good idea for me...all the trauma...training...I'll just hurt you." John's eyes looked haunted.
"But…"Randy shook his head. "Never mind. Just know I still love you. And you still didn't promise me….I am not moving away until you promise me."
"I can't...I'll try to fight...I promise to try." John whispered.
"I know you can't stop the thoughts...but the actions you can." Randy told him. He leaned to kiss him lightly before he finally stepped back.
John's heart hurt as he nodded. "Okay, Baby." He moved to finish washing. Randy slowly left the room and moved to relax the best he could on one of the lounge chairs. He knew he had to do something but what though? What could he do that wouldn't place John at risk? They couldn't live like this and have any kind of a marriage.