"Yesse?" Ivy said hopefully, as her head popped up beside Beca's bed.
"Sweetheart, it is four a.m", Beca croaked. "Can we maybe try to have one night where we sleep in until like five?" she reached over, heaving her onto the bed. "Jesse's on holidays baby, he'll be back next week".
She sighed heavily, and Beca matched her.
"I miss him too". She smiled softly. "Just don't tell Aunt Chloe, she's too nosy. And Aunt Aubrey. And definitely don't tell Uncle Michael. Oh, Uncle Michael would kill him, and then probably me".
Ivy smiled knowingly at her, and Beca rubbed the small of Ivy's back.
"Why don't we watch a movie or something?" Beca suggested. "Maybe try and get a little more sleep... lets make that our new year's resolution. Okay? That can be our goal. We're gonna sleep through the night".
Reaching over, she propped the iPad up against the pillows and smiled as Ivy relaxed against her, choosing Beauty and the Beast from her selection of films and settling into the bed.
Ivy had been off all day. She knew it was because she was out of routine- Beca tried so hard to stick to her routine, knowing how much Ivy thrived, but it was vacation. All of her therapists were away visiting their families, and Beca was exhausted. So by the time lunchtime rolled around, she had given up. She pulled the blankets off her bed and tucked the two of them up on the lounge, the dog sitting at Ivy's feet, before turning on one of her many new DVDs.
(Beca knew all the words already.)
It was a long day. And it was going to be an even longer week.
"Hey sweetie", Chloe called, letting herself in.
Both Beca and Ivy were curled up on the lounge, buried in blankets, while a Wiggles DVD played on the TV. Ivy was curled up in a ball asleep, while Beca stared blankly out into space.
"Bec?" Chloe said in confusion, and Beca jumped.
"Oh hey Chlo", she said cheerfully, pulling her blanket back up.
"Everything okay?" Chloe said carefully. "You're a little distracted. She's asleep, and you're still watching her DVDs".
"Yeah, because every time I turn it off she complains". She yawned, resting her head on the cushion. "Can't wait for this week to be over".
"Why?" Chloe said in amusement.
Usually, Beca loved vacations. She lived for it. Any excuse to get out of her usual school routine, she took.
Only that had all changed when Ivy was born.
"You miss Jesse, don't you".
It was a statement, not a question.
"Ivy does". Beca lifted her head off the cushion and Chloe slid into the space she created, patting her lap for Beca to rest her head.
"You know", she said carefully, stroking Beca's hair (the same way she comforted her goddaughter when she was overtired and upset). "It's okay to miss Jesse. He's not Luke, Bec. He's not Luke at all".
"Chloe, he's Ivy's therapist".
"So you're admitting you like him". She smiled a little "maybe even love him?"
Beca gave her a withering glare, turning her head to look at the TV.
"But you're certainly not admitting to sleeping with him", she mumbled under her breath, and Beca's glare deepened. "Sweetie, I'm not telling you what to do. I know you're wary because Luke was a fucking dick, but he's not Luke. I've known Jesse for a really long time, and he's never looked at anyone the way he looked at you". She stroked Beca's hair back off her forehead, smiling at the loose ringlets (Beca had had very, very curly hair when she was younger, and although she told people she had 'willed it away', when she let it dry naturally the curls returned). "He loves you, Beca, and he absolutely adores Ivy. He'd never do anything to hurt either of you".
"Well, Luke said that too", she grumbled, folding her arms across her chest.
"You're a stubborn little shit, aren't you?" she said fondly. "Why don't you just give him a chance, Bec? Go out on a proper date with him. I'll babysit! And if you don't trust me, there's a whole world of backup twenty feet away".
"Don't talk to me, Chloe". She pouted, folding her arms a little tighter across her chest.
"Think about it babe". She shrugged. "Who knows, Bec, you might even enjoy yourself".
She wasn't sure when texting Jesse had become a part of her night time ritual, but it had. And even though he was on vacation and at home visiting his family, it felt wrong to let the day go by without giving him a quick update.
She can count up to nine. NINE!
She also counts with a very strong Australian accent lol. That's up to Stacie to correct.
Should it be corrected? I mean she knows how to count to nine now, and it's likely she'll lose it over time. I'm conflicted to say the very least.
My child is one of a kind. Not a word until well after she was 3 and now she speaks using an accent from a different hemisphere.
Jesse laughed out loud at Beca's string of text messages, rolling over to type with his left hand.
We're never going to be bored with that girl
She knew it hadn't meant it to sound the way it did, but the message made a grin stretch across her face.
Goodnight nerd
Jesse smiled.
Night weirdo
Hey, are you sick of the wiggles yet?
Jesse smiled as he got Beca's reply.
I am so sick of the wiggles. She complains when I turn the TV off. She's not even watching it, she's just singing along. And I think we now need to buy a second doll because this one is going through the wringer. She has literally only let it go to have a bath, and even then she complained.
He smiled to himself (at not just at Beca's use of the word 'we'). Beca had said before that Ivy had never been attached to soft toys- aside from her stuffed dog- because she didn't like the feel of the material between her fingers. But from the photos had seen, she was loving on that doll.
You'll be surprised, she's trying to talk a lot more. They ask questions on the show and she tries to answer them. In her own Ivy way of course, but she's trying. I've been trying to get it on video for Stacie but of course she doesn't want that to happen. Stubborn shit.
Do you think she's gonna grow up speaking in an Australian accent? I've heard that can happen. I mean I don't care, but it's really gonna throw people off, considering she's never been there, and we have no plans of going there.
We'd probably die there, all the animals are out to kill you. Or so I've heard.
He chuckled to himself.
I'm surprised you haven't been introduced to Fat Amy yet, she's Australian. She's got a story for every occasion.
She furrowed her brow, frowning. She had been in Georgia for nearly five months, and had visited every summer since she was twelve. And still, she'd never heard of Fat Amy.
And a part of her knew that she probably didn't want to her about Fat Amy.
What the hell is Fat Amy.
He laughed out loud at the look he knew would be on her face, and Caroline glanced across the room with a small smile on her face.
"Who are you texting?"
"No one".
"Its Beca", Barry said confidently. "He only smiles like that when it's Beca".
"I do not", he protested, sounding every part sixteen years old.
"Oh, sure".
"Jesse, what's wrong?" Caroline said, as he set his phone aside.
"Nothing". He shrugged, picking up his fork again. "This is good cake, Mum".
"That would sound a lot better if you'd actually tried it", Barry said helpfully.
"Jesse". She looked at him carefully and he looked back down at his piece of cake, unwilling to meet her eyes.
"He misses Beca", Barry said knowingly, and Jesse's eyes widened.
"What?"
"Beca and Ivy, and- what's the dog's name?"
"Billie, the dog's name is Billie".
"And Billie".
"I do not", he objected.
"Then why have you been moping around?" Caroline wanted to know. "You've been texting her non-stop, darling".
"I'm not moping around!" he protested.
"Oh no sweetie, you've been a delight".
Barry rolled his eyes. "Admit it. You miss Beca, and Ivy, and the dog. She's a special girl, Jesse, just say it".
"I know she's a special girl!" Jesse burst out. "She is, she really is. Beca is perfect".
Caroline smiled. "Now we're getting somewhere".
He was on a roll, and once Jesse Swanson was on a roll, there was no stopping him.
"She's perfect. She's complicated and weird and smart and nerdy and wonderful and misunderstood and funny and carefree, just like she should be. She is who she is. She is who she wants to be. And that's a miracle. She is a miracle". He took a deep breath. "And I think I love her, or at least really really like her, and it sucks because I'm in New York and I really want to be in Barden with her. Or have her here in New York. Or be in Barden with all three of them".
"Then go back to Barden", Caroline said simply, and he startled.
"What?"
"Sweetie, we love having you here", she said softly. "We love having you here, and Dad and I miss you terribly when you're in Barden. But you want to be in Barden with Beca and Ivy-"
"And the dog", Barry added helpfully.
"And Billie, and if that makes you happy, then go for it". Caroline smiled at him and Jesse grinned.
"They do, they make me really happy".
They'd never seen him as happy as he was when talking about the girls. He had dated before, but it had never ended in anything serious. They both knew that what Jesse and Beca had was something special, even if they didn't realise it themselves.
"Mama?"
"Yeah baby?" Beca smiled at her daughter, letting one hand rest over the edge of the bath, hanging in the bubbles.
"Yesse?"
"I know, I miss him too". She sighed. "He'll be home soon- oh holy shit, what am I saying? He doesn't live here. Ivy, he doesn't live with us".
Ivy frowned for a second. "Why?"
"Because it's you and me, Ivy. Mama and Ivy against the world, right?" she ran her fingers gently over Ivy's soapy back. "That's how it's always been, kid. Ivy and Mummy against the world. Two independent women who don't need any men in their life. Except maybe Grandpa and Poppy".
"Yesse".
"Yeah, well, a girl can dream". She smiled at her. "He'll be back soon, kid. He'll be back soon and you two will be working together again and it'll be like he was never gone".
"Oh".
"Jesse", Barry said, as his son slung his duffel bag over his shoulder, preparing to bid his parents goodbye.
"Yeah?"
"Take that girl on a proper date". He pressed a crumpled bill into his hand. "Take that girl on a proper date- you said so yourself she hasn't been on one in along time- and treat her like a lady should be treated".
He grinned. "Thanks Dad".
"Look after her, Jesse. Look after both of them".
"I will, Dad".
"And if you hurt them, I might have to kill you". He smiled at him.
"I won't, Dad", he promised.
She wiped the tears from her eyes, choking back a sob.
"That son of a bitch", she mumbled. "Watch The Breakfast Club, he said! You'll love it, he said! What an asshole".
They had watched The Breakfast Club together, but her attention wasn't on the film. It was on her kid's therapist, and the guy she was quite possibly in love with. She had been focusing on the way he mouthed the words along with the characters on screen, the way he fist pumped along with Bender. The way he laughed before she knew what was happening, and the way that he kept turning her head back towards the laptop they'd watched it on.
At that moment, she was all alone, with all the feelings the film was giving her.
"You son of a bitch", she mumbled again.
There was a light knock at the door and Beca jumped, wiping her eyes.
"Hey Bec", Jesse said cheerily, his head popping up at the window, and she threw aside her blanket, marching towards the door.
"What are you doing here?" she snapped, her voice cracking again.
"You're watching The Breakfast Club!" he said in delight, stepping inside. "Oh, you're watching The Breakfast Club and crying! A little birdie told me you were a softie at heart, Beca Mitchell".
"Shut up and kiss me". She flung her arms around his neck and he lifted her off the ground, swinging her around.
"I want to take you on a proper date", he said softly, and she rested her head on his chest. "I want to stop sneaking around like this. I want to take you on a proper date; I want to take you out to dinner".
"I'd like that".
"Really?" he beamed. "Really?"
She nodded slightly, burying her head under the blanket.
"Look, I'll organise Chloe or Aubrey or Michael or anyone else you trust to look after Ivy, and we'll go out on a proper date. When was the last time you went on a date?"
"How old is Ivy?"
"Three and a half". He raised an eyebrow at her.
"So about four and a half years. Since I got pregnant with her".
Luke had kept talking about taking her out on dates, but she had been ferociously sick for the entire duration of her pregnancy. And when Ivy was born, any thought of going out for a date had vanished completely.
"I want to take you out on a proper date", he said firmly. "This Saturday night?"
"That's two days away".
"Whenever suits you, Beca, I'll wait". He grinned at her and she curled her legs up a little tighter.
"I'd like that".
"Hey Dad", Beca said shyly, leading Ivy and the dog into the big house. "There you go baby, Uncle Michael is over there. Maybe he will play with you. Michael, get up, play with your niece".
"Hi Ivy!" Michael said cheerfully, waving from the couch. "Come over to Uncle Michael, let's play!"
Her wooden kitchen from Christmas morning was still set up in the living room, and Ivy gravitated to it immediately.
"Uncle Michael's gonna make you some pancakes", he said decided, pulling the big box of wooden food closer.
"So was this a toy for Ivy or a toy for you?" Beca said in amusement (when she was pregnant, he had flown to Maine to go baby shopping with her. not to be of any assistance, he'd said cheerily, just to have an excuse to press all the buttons in the toy aisles).
"you said she needs to work on her pretend play skills or some shit, this is working on her pretend play skills or some shit!" he said brightly.
"Don't say shit around my kid, what is wrong with you?"
"With you as her mother I'm surprised she didn't come out screaming profanities".
"Shut the fuck up".
"Don't say fuck around my niece!"
"Guys!" Sheila protested, rolling her eyes heavenwards (they were worse than when they were children).
"What's up Bec?" Will said, pulling two mugs out of the cupboard. "Would you like a cup of tea?"
She nodded. "Yes please".
"So, what's going on?" he sat the teapot on the stove, turning on the gas and sitting down on one of the stools. She copied his motions, resting her elbows on the counter.
"I was wondering- and its okay if you don't want to or if you've got plans or something-"
"Beca, spit it out".
"Would it be okay for you and or Sheila to look after Ivy tomorrow night?" she blurted out. "It'll only be for a couple of hours and I won't be far-"
"I'll do it!" Aubrey said quickly, all but sprinting down the stairs. "Michael and I will babysit! Where are you going?"
"She's allowed to have a life", Michael called from the other room. "We'll babysit shortie, where are you going?"
"Ummm..." her cheeks turned pink as she looked down into her empty mug. "I um... I actually have a date".
"You WHAT?" Michael shrieked, making Ivy jump and Billie bark. "She has a what?"
"That's great, Beca!" Will said warmly. "Sheila and I will look after Ivy anytime sweetheart, you know that. In fact, I think it should be a mandatory requirement. Playing active grandparents".
"Let's see how tomorrow night goes first", she mumbled.
"Who's your date with, Beca?" Aubrey wanted to know.
"You don't know him".
"It's Jesse". Michael stared at his sister, watching as she tried to shrink into her jacket. "It is, isn't it?"
"Michael, stop", Sheila chuckled, as Beca's face got redder and redder.
"Oh my God! She has a date with Jesse?" Michael slammed the toy pot down. "You have a date with Jesse? Jesse Swanson?"
"I only know one Jesse!" she snapped.
"Muh Yesse", Ivy said absently, patting Billie's head, and every head in the room turned towards the three year old.
"Yeah that's right, Ivy, he's your Jesse", Beca said, sitting up straighter. "He's your Jesse, and you love him, right?"
"Ye".
"And your mama loves him too", Aubrey said quietly, giggling.
"Aubrey", Will chastised.
"Does Chloe know about this?" Michael demanded.
"Michael, enough. She's a big girl; she can take care of herself". Sheila turned her head towards her son, sending him a warning glare.
"Well look how well that turned out last time!"
Beca stood up, seething. "Fuck you, Michael", she said quietly. She patted her thigh to get the dog's attention before speaking. "Ivy! Billie. We're going, let's go".
Ivy's shoulders slumped, and she padded obediently towards her mother. "Yes go".
"That's right, let's go". She lifted her into her arms and Ivy rested her head on her shoulder. "Let's go, it's time for us to go home. I'm gonna ask Grandpa to bring the kitchen down to your bedroom to play with, that way you can play at our place".
She slammed the front door behind her, with such force that she made her father wince.
"Real smooth", Aubrey snapped, throwing her slipper at her boyfriend. "Nice, Michael, nice. Was that necessary?"
"Michael", Sheila sighed. "Was that necessary?"
"She's my little sister", he protested. "It's my job to protect her, and I've already failed once!"
"That relationship gave us Ivy", Will said firmly. "Beca is not a failure".
"So, what's this about you having a date, Beca?" her mother wanted to know, grinning into her mug of tea.
"What?"
"You've been dancing around the subject for nearly forty minutes now, sweetheart, I think you know". Katherine smiled softly, knowing her daughter couldn't see her. "I was speaking to your father-"
"Of course, I'm going to fucking kill him", she seethed. "I'm gonna kill Dad and Michael, and then I'll murder the stepmonster while I'm at it".
"Beca".
"He shouldn't have told you, Mum". She stuck her bottom lip out in a pout almost identical to Ivy's. "And I was going to tell you".
"Oh, like I'm meant to believe you. You're Beca Mitchell; you have to have the truth extracted out of you, even if it takes all night. I know you better than that, Beca".
"I'm really excited, Mum", Beca said shyly.
"I know, sweetheart. It's been a long time since you went on a date".
"I've never left Ivy at night before, either".
"Honey, she's going to be fine", Katherine objected. "You just need to worry about having a good time with Jesse".
"I never said it was with Jesse", Beca blushed.
"I know you better than you think, sweetheart". Katherine winked, knowing her daughter couldn't see her, and Beca's cheeks burned. "Have fun tomorrow night, okay? And don't worry too much about Ivy".
"'it's my job to worry'", Beca mocked. "How many times did you say that to me?"
"I love you".
"Love you too".
"What do you think, Ivy J?" Beca wanted to know, turning around to face her properly.
"Wow", Ivy said with a grin, her little eyes sparkling.
"You think so?" she said shyly. "It's been a long time since I've been on a date, Ivy. A long time. Long before you".
Ivy wriggled closer to her, and Beca took a seat on the end of the bed, rubbing the small of her daughter's back.
"I really like him, Ivy", she whispered. "I don't know what that means for us, but I really like him. Please be good for Grandma and Grandpa and Aunty Aubrey and Uncle Michael tonight. I know you're always good, but I really need you to try. I love you".
Ivy smiled, letting her mother hug her.
"You're gonna go and hang out up at the big house, okay? And then Aunty Aubrey and Uncle Michael and Grandma and Grandpa are going to bring you back here for a bath and for you to go to bed. If you're a good girl, maybe Grandma will read you an extra story".
Her anxiety levels were through the roof, and she was surprised that Ivy wasn't acting up because of it. She knew Ivy would be completely fine in their care, but she couldn't help but worry.
"Well, don't you scrub up nice!" Aubrey said in surprise, as Beca pushed open the door.
"Thanks". She frowned slightly. "I think".
"Hey Ivy!" Michael said brightly, and Ivy dropped her iPad, trotting towards the kitchen.
"Grandpa will bring your kitchen down to your bedroom tonight, okay?" Will promised. "You look beautiful, Beca".
"Thanks Dad". She set Ivy's bag down on the kitchen table. "Alright, Sheila-"
"Beca, sweetheart, I know how to feed her".
"I want to make this night as stress free as possible for everyone involved". Beca opened up her bag, pulling out containers. "Chicken nuggets-"
"I just bought chicken nuggets!" she protested.
"No, no no no no no. You bought the red box. She only eats the blue box. She can tell the difference. Don't ask me how, I don't know. It's like a fucking party trick".
"Beca, language".
"Mac and cheese- heat it up for like twenty five seconds. Peas and corn".
"Beca, we have peas and corn".
"Again, you buy the yellow bag. I buy the green bag. Big difference, apparently".
"Quick question", Michael called, from where he was putting together a wooden waffle for his niece. "Will she ever grow out of these eating habits?"
"Two things, one I'm not talking to you, and two, I fucking hope so. I'm working on it".
Michael shrugged.
"When she has a bath please put cream on her, but rub it between your hands first because it's cold. Um... oh, she needs to wear her sleep suit as well as her pyjamas because she kicks her blankets off. That doll and her dog go to bed with her, and she needs to have her blue sippy cup of water next to her bed. She has four of them, but only the blue one can be next to her bed. Don't ask why, I don't know- just like only her red one can be in the car". She shrugged, running a hand through her loose curls. "And she needs to have her melatonin before bed. The whole syringe. She likes the taste of it, but make sure you give her water afterwards because its sweet".
"Beca, you're going to wreck your hair", Chloe said calmly, as she came through the door. "Jesse's here, I saw his car. Let's do this!"
"Does she understand she doesn't live here?" Aubrey wanted to know, glancing at Michael.
"Do you understand that you don't live here?" Beca retorted, and Will shot her a look.
"Beca".
She shrugged. "It's the truth".
There was a gentle knock at the door, and Michael lunged for it, Beca pushing him out of the way.
"Michael!"
"Beca!"
"Oh my God, you two". Sheila sighed heavily, rolling her eyes heavenwards.
Beca pulled the door open, shoving Michael aside. "Hi", she said shyly.
"Hello!" Jesse said brightly, offering her the bunch of flowers as Chloe cooed. "You look gorgeous tonight Beca".
She accepted them, blushing. "Thank you Jesse".
"See, I told you he was a nice guy", Chloe said smugly, and Aubrey smacked her shoulder.
"Enough, Chlo".
"Where's Ivy?"
"She's in the-"
"Yesse!"
"Hey, there's my partner in crime!" Jesse beamed, as Ivy flew towards him.
"Yesse!" she squealed. "Muh Yesse!"
"He's your Jesse?" Beca said in disbelief, as Jesse tossed her kid high above his head. "Oh my God, Ivy".
"She loves him!" Chloe said brightly. "Now, you kids go and have fun, Ivy's gonna hang out with Aunt Chloe!"
Jesse set her down gently, smiling at her, before getting down to her level. "Tomorrow I'll come and play with you, okay Ivy J? Maybe Mummy and you and I can go and do something fun, but Mama and I are going out tonight, like grown ups. You look beautiful, Beca".
"Like grown ups", Beca echoed quietly, kneeling down. "Mama will be back after bedtime, okay Ivy? When you're in bed Mummy and Jesse will be coming home, and tomorrow I'll take you out and we'll do something fun. Be a good girl for Grandma and Grandpa and Aunt Chloe and Aunt Aubrey- and Uncle Michael? Give him hell for me". She kissed her forehead, hugging her a little tighter than usual. "I love you".
"We've got this under control, Beca", Sheila said gently. "Enjoy your date".
"Love you!" Chloe called, lifting Ivy up. "Say bye Mummy! Bye Jesse!"
Ivy waved quietly, resting her head on Chloe's shoulder.
"Bye baby".
"See you later Ivy!"
Jesse took Beca's hand, leading her out to the car.
"He's a good guy", Chloe informed them, closing the door. "And she's a big girl".
"She says home like he lives there too", Michael said with a slight frown.
"She's happy". Chloe shrugged. "Ivy's happy. We're happy for them".
Michael shrugged.
"Michael. We are happy for them".
"You look beautiful", Jesse said again, opening the passenger side door for his date. "I mean it".
"Thank you". Her cheeks darkened, as she slipped in and stretched the seatbelt across her chest. "So where are we going?"
"On a proper date". He beamed at her. "I was thinking Mexican?"
She started to laugh. "Mexican sounds great".
Chloe stayed in Ivy's room until she was asleep, her rigid little body relaxing as she slipped into slumber. Beca had said it many times, the only time that Ivy truly relaxed was when she was asleep. Her little ball of anxiety didn't know how to calm herself down, which was another reason Beca was always on edge.
"You're a sweetheart, Ivy", she said gently. "You're so special. And anyone who doesn't see that is just plain blind".
After dinner, they got into Jesse's car and drove. Beca didn't know where they were going, and she was fairly certain Jesse didn't know either.
"Where are we?" she said finally, when she successfully didn't realise any of their surroundings. "How far away are we?"
"We're about forty five minutes out", he said easily. "This is where I go sometimes, to clear my head. The lookout is beautiful. There's the lookout and the park, and there's a nice cafe over there". He shrugged. "I just thought you'd like it".
"Ivy would like it here too, I think".
"I think so too". He squeezed her hand gently. "Maybe one day we could bring her out here?"
"She loves you", she said with a shrug. What she really wanted to say was 'I love you', but it hadn't come out like that. "She'd love something like this".
"It's never busy", he agreed. "There's never any kids here-"
"Do you come here often?"
"Benji and I go on drives occasionally, getting lost around Georgia". He snickered. "Neither of us are very good at following the GPS, apparently. That's how we found this place".
She wrapped her coat around her a little tighter as they exited the car, heading towards the playground.
When she was little, the swings had always been her favourite, and naturally, they were Ivy's too. Beca had been a daredevil child, a lot more so than her own daughter. She loved that split second of fear as she leant back just a little too far in her seat, unsure if she was going to fly or fall. She had loved swinging high above the trees, convinced that if she stretched her toes just the right amount, she could touch the sky.
She had loved swimming in the ocean with her father. She loved being launched into the air, her arms reaching out for her father and hoping that he'd catch her before she was swept away in the currents. And she lived for that split second of terror where she wasn't sure if he would be able to grab her or not.
"Come on", Jesse said with a grin, holding onto the chains of the swing. "I've seen you with Ivy. Actually you're probably small enough to fit in the toddler swing".
She gasped indignantly. "Excuse me?"
He laughed, as she gingerly slid into the seat. He pulled her back, making her shriek, before letting go and pushing her high. Beca bit back a smile as her hair flew in the wind, and Jesse laughed, seeing the small smile creeping at the corners of her mouth.
"You're having a good night", he said smugly, and Beca wiggled closer to dig the toes of her boots into the woodchip to slow herself down.
She shrugged. "It's been alright".
She had never had a night like that before. Not ever with Luke, and certainly not with anyone else.
Jesse had a way of making even the simplest things special. She didn't know how he did it, but he did.
After a good while playing on the equipment ("you are a child", she had almost laughed, as Jesse threw himself down the slide with such force that he fell off), the cold winter night began to get to them. So Jesse opened the trunk of his car and pulled out blankets and a big ass candle.
(She didn't know why he had a big ass candle, and she was afraid that asking would probably require more questions. So she left it.)
She leant against him, breathing deeply.
"What are you thinking about, Beca?" Jesse said, absently drawing patterns on her thigh as she leant against him. "I know you are thinking. And I'm pretty sure it's about Ivy. I'm sure Chloe and your family are fine with her, we would have heard if they weren't".
"I wanted to travel", Beca said suddenly, tugging her coat a little tighter around her. "I wanted to go travelling after I finished high school, but then I got pregnant. But I thought that was okay, because I'd have the opportunity to see the sights with my daughter. I'd love to take Ivy to Disneyland; she'd love to meet the princesses. I'd love to take Ivy to New York; I'd love to take her to a show on Broadway. But I know that she would hate the entire overwhelming experience right now. But one day. One day we're gonna travel the world, starting in New York. Times Square can't shine as bright as her".
She paused for a moment, and Jesse could see the cogs of her brain ticking. Ivy was an open book; he could generally read what was troubling her, which made finding a solution a lot easier. Beca, on the other hand, was closed off. He very rarely knew what she was thinking.
"You know, when I was a kid my dad used to take me winter camping".
(That was a left field comment. He had not seen that one coming at all, which proved his point about Beca Mitchell.)
"What the hell is winter camping?"
"Literally that. Hiking through snow. Camping in more snow. Waking up frozen and deathly ill. Character building". She shrugged. "My mother hated it; clearly she didn't accompany us on this insanity. But you know what? He used to take Michael winter camping too, after he moved to Georgia. Michael was probably... I don't know, maybe ten when they first started going. And that made me really upset. Not that I was missing out- I wintered in Maine got Christ's sake- but because he was taking his new kid. I know Ivy doesn't remember her sperm donor but sometimes I wonder how she would react- when she's older- knowing that he left her because he couldn't 'deal with it anymore'. I don't know what he's doing with his life and I don't care, but I know that one day Ivy's gonna ask and she's going to hurt because he couldn't deal with her. He didn't have the balls to deal with autism".
"Beca-"
"And you? Well you are something else entirely. Like I don't know where the hell you came from, but I'm glad. Ivy loves you, and I love you-" she went pale, clapping her hand over her mouth. "I mean-"
"Beca", he said gently, laughing a little, tugging her hand away. "I love you too".
"What?"
She was smart and she was funny and she was beautiful and she was kind, and she deserved so much more than the shitty hands life had thrown at her in the past. She was everything that he didn't know he needed.
"I love you", he said gently, tilting her head towards her. "I believe everything happens for a reason, Beca Mitchell. Chloe said you were special, but she never told me how special you were. But I know that now, and I love you".
"Fucking Chloe", she mumbled, before kissing him.
"You said you'd like to take Ivy to New York", Jesse said, as he turned the car back onto the main road. "I'll take you to New York. I'll take you to Broadway and Ivy can run wild in Central Park and Times Square can't shine as bright as her. Not now, not ever".
Beca's favourite part about Jesse was the way that he didn't treat Ivy differently. Ivy was different, but in Jesse's eyes, she was just his little buddy. And Beca loved that.
"Not now", he added hastily, seeing the expression on Beca's face. "But one day".
"One day", she echoed.
Chloe turned her head towards the door, as she heard the keys in the lock. It was long after midnight, and Ivy still hadn't stirred.
"Hi", Beca said shyly, tossing her coat on the couch and sitting down to unlace her boots. "How is Ivy? Did she go to sleep okay? Did she eat her dinner? Where is everyone else?"
"Calm down", Chloe chuckled. "Everyone else is up at the big house; I convinced them that I was fine down here after she went to bed. She hasn't moved since I put her to bed. She was good tonight, Beca. You need to believe in her more".
"I do, I do believe in her, but I know her struggles. Because her struggles are my struggles, every single day". She craned her neck towards Ivy's closed bedroom door, as if anticipating her daughter to wake at any moment.
"How was your date, Beca?" Chloe said, changing the subject. "You look happy".
"It was good", she said, before fleeing towards her bedroom. "Goodnight Chlo!"
Chloe smiled, pulling the blanket higher over her shoulders. "Goodnight Beca".