Christian

Two long weeks had passed and things were pretty tense in our house. I felt like Ana was avoiding me at all costs. I mean if you were married for 5 years and went through everything that we had, you would think they'd spend every second by your side. I felt like an outsider living in my own home. At least Grace and Teddy were very welcoming of me when I returned home. I spent several days with Ros getting reacquainted with some of our larger business purchases and the things that would make or break me in a meeting.

"Ana," I say as I hear the front door close and the clicking of her high heel shoes on the tile entryway.

"I am not in the mood Christian," she snaps as she sees me in the kitchen.

"All I did was say your name, is that a freaking crime," I snap back at her.

"Really, you think that is all you did. Sometimes I think you think I am stupid or incompetent," she yells at me.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I yell back at her. Our screaming had brought Taylor into the area and Gail to usher the children out of the living room.

"Seriously, for a man who claims he is so smart you can be such an ass sometimes," she says moving to leave the kitchen. I really didn't understand her problem. I hadn't done anything to her. Hell I didn't even know her hardly so how could I do anything to her, but right now all I could think about was giving her a good spanking.

"Count, Anastasia!" I command.

"One!" she shouts. I hit her again, and hear her counting until she reaches six and then I drop the belt. I just want to hold her in my arms, but she is pushing away from me.

"Let go…of me," she says as she is fighting me. She left me because of me spanking her with the belt after she asked me how bad it could get.

I drop to my knees as the memory floods into my mind. I hurt Ana in the beginning to the point where she left me. Why would I do that? I need to ask her so I get up off the floor and walk up to the master bedroom where Ana has been staying while I stay in one of the spare rooms. I see her sitting on the bed with her head in her hands.

"Ana," I say as I enter the room. She lifts her head and wipes away the tears that had been falling and looks at me. I could tell how beautiful she was. I was amazed that someone as pretty and beautiful like her would fall in love with me.

"I am really not in the mood Christian," she says looking back at her hands.

"You left me," I say. She looks directly at me with stunned eyes.

"Christian I am right here," she snaps a little annoyed with me.

"No, not right now. You left me after I spanked you. You asked me how bad it would get and I took a belt to you. You got mad and left me. I don't know how you come back to me if I hurt you. Why did you come back Ana?" I question trying to get more information about the memory, but instead she is leaping into my arms.

"Oh, Christian I came back because of the man you became after that incident. I came back because you gave me a reason to come back," she says in between tears and sobbing. She was really draining my emotions at times.

"I don't know what to say to that," I honestly say cupping her face and looking into her eyes I can only see love shining brightly in them. I want to kiss her lips so badly, but keep myself from doing so because I needed to know why she was mad at me when she came into the house.

"Ana, why were you mad at me when you came in," I ask softly. She looks up at me and her face seems to change right before me into a mask of anger.

"I found out you have some security at the office that I was unaware of, so when I tried to leave the building they wouldn't let me unless I was heading home, so I was upset that you didn't discuss the extra security with me to begin with," she says.

"We argued a lot about that, didn't we," I ask a little amused how she seems to be at ease now with me. She nods her head and places it on my chest. I take a deep breath and hold it for several seconds before letting it out. She snuggles deeper into my chest almost as if she is testing me. I do the same deep breath again and let it out.

"It isn't that hard is it," she asks pulling her head from my chest. I let a tear slide down my cheek as I shake my head no unable to answer her question with words. I am so confused at all these new emotions I seem to be having.

"Not as hard as I thought it would be. I mean to me the last 5 years have vanished and I am still weary of the physical touch aspect, but you having your head on my chest seemed right just a little confusing," I say causing her to nod her head with a little bit of her own tears slipping down her cheeks.

"I just hope we can get back to where we were before all this happened. I miss our love and how at ease we were as a family. It's hard to go from that to walking on eggshells," she says standing up and reaching out her hand to help me up. I guess to her this is all strange as well.

"Hopefully we will get there," I say as we are interrupted by Grace.

"Mommy, Gail asked me to tell you dinner was ready," she says as she starts to walk away. I reach for her and pull her into a huge hug.

"Grace, I know I haven't been really here, but I do love you," I say as I give her a kiss on the forehead and am hit hard by a memory that sends me to my knees yet again. Then darkness takes me to another place almost like a dream.

I am in my daughter's room looking down in the crib at an innocent child that has been affected by everything that has to do with me, but unable to know for what reason someone was after us..

"Christian, you were gone again" says a voice. I pull her close to me.

"I know," I mutter squeezing her closer to me.

"Mr. Grey, please come back to bed," she replies as she grabs my hand.

"I would do anything for you, I just want to make sure baby Grace is fine," I whisper as I kiss her forehead. Quickly moving back to Grace I put the blanket closer to her and bend down to give her a kiss on her forehead. "Sweet dreams, baby girl," I whisper.

"Honey, what's the matter," I ask as I settle into bed with her.

"I miss leaving the house and spending time with your family," she replies as she moves closer to me. I struggle with the burden I have forced upon her, but it seemed like the only way to keep her protected.

"How bout I invite the family over for diner this weekend or we could go away as a family and just spend some quality time together," I say snuggling my head into her neck.

"Seriously Christian, it's been 6 months. Do you think this person is still out there?" Ana questions me. I look directly at her and nod my head. She blows out some air and then reaches for my hand.

"Would you like the girls to come over tomorrow?" I ask pulling her into my chest.

"Yes, I think I need someone other to talk to than baby Grace," she says smiling at me. I knew right then and there that I had been lucky when she fell into my office. I was glad that faking her death has just given us a brand new lease on life. She has put up with staying here or at my parents house isolated for 6 months, but in that time she has grown so strong.

I look down at my beautiful wife and smile, she no longer looks like my Ana, but I love her anyway. Her blonde hair has grown on me, plus her bluish green eyes make me feel like I am lost in an ocean sea. She is the same woman that I fell in love with and that is all that matters.

"Penny for your thoughts," she says. I smile my wicked smile and begin to pull at her night shirt. Yes I am very lucky to have this woman to love me and for me to love.

"Christian, son can you hear me?" my mother is calling out to me. I want to stay in my dream where I am so happy, but her voice is making it cloudy. I shake my head several times trying to get the image back to me, but without any luck.

"Please leave me alone," I mutter flinging my arm around to get her to leave. I feel a slap on my arm and open my eyes. "What the hell was that for?" I snap taking in my surrounding. I am no longer on the floor near the door, but in the bed. Ana is on one side of me while my mother and father our on the other.

"Christian," Ana says but I cut her off.

"Grace, did she get hurt," I ask worried. Ana looks at me a nods.

"She hit her head on the door, but will be fine," Ana says.

"Shit!" I mutter wincing as I try to sit up. My head was pounding.

"Son, you hit your head on the door handle, you took the brunt force of the impact rather than Grace," my mom says. I nod at that statement and try to put together what I want to say. God there are so many things I want to say and so many more things I want to do to Ana. Ugh! I groaned because those wicked thoughts were going right to my groin.

*****************Fifty Shades Shattered******************

Ana

Things have been going better for Christian and I since the mental breakdown he had a month ago. Well it wasn't really a meltdown as it was glimpses into his memories. He has been getting more and more memories coming back to him lately which the doctors say is a good sign. There are things he can't remember like the apartment incident where Linc put bombs in it, Teddy's birth or even our wedding and honeymoon, but he has remembered many more important things which outweigh those little one. Not really little, but he is improving and that is good.

"Mrs. Grey, Dr. Greene can see you," says the nurse as I stand up and follow her. I haven't been feeling well the last week or so and Christian decided that I needed to see the doctor, co he made an appointment. I already knew what was wrong with me, but couldn't really tell him because I was unsure how things were going to be playing out.

"Ana, I'm surprised Christian isn't with you. He was with you at this time frame for the other two babies," Dr. Greene says.

"I know, I haven't told him yet," I say blushing a little.

"Ana, you're almost 5 months along. He's going to figure it out sooner than later," she says a little harshly.

"I would rather it be later," I say as she pulls the scan over to the examine table and squeezes the cold stuff on my stomach to look at the baby. I watch as she moves the wand over my small bump and then I see the little baby growing inside of me, our little baby.

"Do you want to know what you're having, Mrs. Grey," she asks.

"No, but can a have a few new pictures to tell my husband," I say looking memorized at my baby. I get dressed and walk out of the examine room holding my pictures of my unborn child in my hand smiling at the thought of another little Grey running around the house, but the dark thought still lingers about how this is bad timing. Christian had known before the shooting, but we hadn't told the family. I just didn't know how to retell him.

"Mrs. Grey everything alright," Sawyer ask me as he holds the door of the SUV open for me.

"Yes, Do you know what Christian is doing right now," I ask clutching my purse holding it to my chest as my heart beats really fast.

"He is at Grey House," he says.

"Take me to Grey House," I say willing myself to stay in control of my emotions. The drive from the Doctor's house to Grey House was short way too short for me to get my thoughts all together. I get out of the SUV as Sawyer holds the door open for me. I see Taylor come out of the security office and toward us.

"Mrs. Grey, Mr. Grey might be roaming the office building, but you can go right up to office to see if he is there," he says as he pushes the elevator button for me. I nod as I see Sawyer go into the office and take a seat in one of the chairs to watch the monitors. I get into the elevator and pray that it would swallow me up to keep from having to face Christian.

"Mrs. Grey," Andrea says as the elevator door opens and I walk into the foyer of Christian's office.

"Andrea," I say looking toward his office.

"He just came back up and went in there. I think he could use a distraction," she says as she smiles at me and walks back to her desk. I go to the door and begin to open it when his voice tears a little at me.

"Shit, Andrea I told you not to bother me," he snaps in his usual pissed off voice.

"Well I guess it's a good thing I'm not Andrea," I say as I walk into the office and close the door.

"Ana, what are you doing here?" he questions a little surprised.

"Christian, I need to tell you something," I say as I walk over to his desk. I try to think of how I am going to say what I need to say when I see on his desk Divorce Papers. Shit I think as I stumble back toward one of the plush chairs in front of his desk. He doesn't want me anymore is all I could think.

**********************Fifty Shades Shattered*****************