Denise was touched by how many members of Frank's Iraq unit stepped up to try to help diagnose his illness, they all stopped to visit him and pay their respects to Denise and Jeremy who was set to deploy any day.
The doctor that had originally delivered the news of Frank's multi system failure came in to see her about two days after this all began. "Mrs. Sherwood, your son's blood tests and tests of some other members of Frank's unit have helped us determine what is wrong with him. It doesn't explain the severity but we know how to try and treat it. Jeremy's blood showed a lead level of about 32 micrograms per deciliter, borderline high for a healthy young adult; in comparison Frank's levels are over 150 micrograms per deciliter, catastrophic for even the healthiest of adult, which Frank was not when the final exposure took place."
"So it is exposure to lead that's making him so sick, how do we treat it?" Finally some answers.
"Quickly," the doctor replied. "First, I suggest we filter the blood and try to purify it using therapeutic plasmapheresis but there are risks involved, he's weak and many patients do go into shock, it could kill him. But the toxicity will kill him if we don't do something now. Once that's done, we put him on dialysis and hope his kidneys jump start on their own, following that we'll proceed with chelation treatment and other medical remedies. We'll need your consent to begin this process."
Denise thought hard for a moment, knowing either way she could lose him was not what she wanted to hear but finally said, "Okay do it." She knew it was their last chance.
Denise signed her name and entrusted Frank to the doctor. Jeremy declared, "I'm not leaving. Not until he's well."
"Jeremy, you are set to deploy in two days, I will be here with him, you can't not go, you may get into serious trouble and that won't help me or your father," Denise said, she wished he could stay here too, but knew he had to go.
"I promised him, Mom," Jeremy told Denise. "I promised him I'd take care of you and I will not leave you. They can court martial me if they want, I'm not leaving you," Jeremy was adamant about it but Denise knew the facts.
"Jeremy you getting a court martial will only make him worry and add more stress on him, you need to go, we will be fine."
"We'll see," Jeremy said backing off for the moment as the doctor's came to take Frank for his treatments.
"Mrs. Sherwood, you need to go home and rest," the doctor told her. "He'll need you very much as he recovers and you need to be rested."
She was still clinging to Frank's hand. "What if he needs me now?"
"He won't need you now, Mrs. Sherwood," the doctor said. "He'll be in the OR, then isolation while we filter his blood. He'll need you when he wakes up, he'll need help with everything as he regains his strength, that's what he'll need. That and a healthy wife and baby."
She sighed, "Okay, but I expect you to call me as soon as he is done with this, and if anything changes."
With the doctor's promise Denise left for home. The news she'd been praying for came the last night before Jeremy's deployment. She was in the tub taking a lukewarm bath to relax her stiffened back muscles when the phone rang. Elizabeth answered it then went to find Denise, "Denise, you've got to get to the hospital. Frank wants to see you."
"Is he okay?" She asked getting out and quickly drying off she rushed to put clothes on and grabbed her purse.
"Okay enough to be awake and worried about you," Elizabeth replied. "I'll wait for Jeremy. Give him my best."
Denise arrived at the hospital and rushed in, she went to the front desk, and they told her where to find her husband. She rushed back to see him laying there awake, she walked in with a smile on her face. "Hey, how are you feeling?"
"I've felt better but I've felt worse," Frank said reaching for Denise's hand. "Still don't feel like I have any energy, kind of tired, but not like before, more like I've just been sick. How are you? You and the baby okay?"
"Yeah we are great, can't wait for you to come home," she said smiling.
"Doctor says it'll be a bit yet before they let me out, but God, Dee I can't wait to be home with you, we have a lot to do to get ready for the baby. We don't even have a crib," Frank said laughing for the first time with genuine happiness on his face.
"I know but we have plenty of time, I can't wait for you to be home, I miss you so much."
He squeezed her hand, "Oh, God, Dee, how did this happen? How did we get here?" he asked lying back into the pillows. "Really, I don't know how this happened."
"I don't really know either, Frank. We are lucky I guess," she said placing her hand on her belly.
"Lucky?" Frank was surprised at her reaction. "You call this lucky?"
"No, I meant me getting pregnant." She was afraid she had upset him.
"That's lucky, sure, but I meant everything else," Frank said. "Michael left a little while ago, brought me a gift. It's on the table." Denise could tell Frank was upset.
She went over and looked at the "gift" he was referring to, they were medical discharge papers "Frank I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound...I mean," She stumbled over her word trying to fix this but couldn't
"You knew about this?" he asked her more accusing than inquiring.
"No, of course not," she said walking back to sit beside him.
"Then why did you stutter so much when you saw them?" Frank pulled away from her touch. He was hurting, he was still sick, and now he was hurting.
Denise tried to calm him. "Because I'm trying to say the right thing, I don't want to say something to upset you."
"Like lying to me won't upset me," Frank snapped. "You know how I feel about lies, Denise!"
"I'm not lying frank, I swear, I had no idea!" She was losing her cool.
"Fine, whatever," Frank said brushing her off. "So uh, tell me about the baby. You feel all right?"
She swallowed her emotion, he didn't believe her, and that hurt. "I feel fine."
"Staying off your feet?" he asked. He was so cold, so distant; she'd never seen him like this, not even after her affair was he this cruel.
"Yeah," she answered and looked at her lap avoiding eye contact.
"Then what the heck are you crying for?" he asked knowing she was seconds from tears. "Honestly, Dee, this is going to have to stop. I can't deal with this sobby business for another four months, I can't do it."
"Fine, whatever, I'm going to go;" she said tears now streaming down her face she stood and walked to the door.
She left the hospital and drove to her house to find her mom's car there; she walked inside to find her mother sitting on the couch reading a magazine.
Elizabeth looked up, "How's Frank? You're back so quickly," she said to Denise. She knew something was wrong.
At the mention of Frank's name she lost it and started sobbing.
Elizabeth opened arms to her daughter, "Oh, baby. Come here now," Elizabeth crooned. "He's all right? Is he worse?"
She laid her head in her mother's lap. "He's fine, he's a jerk but he is fine."
"Jerk, that's a new way for you to describe him," Elizabeth said stroking Denise's hair. "What makes him that?"
"He snapped at me because Michael gave him medical discharge papers and he thinks I knew about it and when I said I didn't he accused me of lying to him, then I got upset and he asked me why I was crying and said he couldn't put up with this for another four months," she rambled.
"Oh, Denise, he's had a really bad shock to his system, honey," Elizabeth soothed. "He didn't mean it. I'm sure he's sorry."
"No he isn't, I'm never going back there," she declared even though her mother knew better.
"Yes you are," Elizabeth comforted. "You love him, even when he's being a, what was it, jerk. Now, Michael's the real problem. Telling a seriously ill man with a pregnant wife he's losing his livelihood without so much as a by your leave. That's down right mean."
She sniffled and wiped her eyes. "You're right, I'll be back. I'm going over there," she said getting up and leaving before her mother had a chance to respond.
Elizabeth smiled, that was her baby girl, sweet and delicate with a heart of gold and a will of iron, and she was proud.
The Holden's were at dinner when Denise arrived. Claudia Joy answered the door, "I need to see Michael," Denise said without preamble.
"Sure," she said and went to get Michael and came back and stood behind him.
"What can I do for you Denise, is Frank alright?" he asked clueless as to why she was there.
"Don't you even PRETEND to care about how Frank is, not after what you did to him," Denise snapped. "He almost died, do you get that Michael, he almost died and what does he get from his SUPPOSED best friend when he wakes up from having his entire body filtered because of the ARMY, not a thank you for risking you butt while I sit on mine and give orders, not a how do you feel, Frank, no, he gets a nice knowing you but we can't use damaged goods so get out! You broke his heart, Michael and that just might do what the poison didn't. And it'll be your fault. I will blame you if this baby grows up without a daddy. Make no mistake about that!"
Claudia Joy and Michael both stood shocked. "Denise, I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset him." He didn't know what else to say.
"It couldn't have waited until he was home?" she asked tears clogging her throat. "It could have waited until I was there for him; you left him alone after that news, in that kind of pain. How could you, Michael? How could you?" she asked. She turned to Claudia Joy, "And you, how can you stand there and defend what he did? How?"
"Denise, I'm not defending him, I had no idea," she said not wanting in the middle of this.
"Frank thinks I knew about this, so I won't accuse you of knowing like he did me," Denise said. "I just want an answer Michael. How could you do that to someone who saved time and again? Someone you claim to love? How?"
"Denise I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset him but its protocol," Michael said immediately regretting that last part.
"Protocol? Did Frank think about protocol when he gave the orders that got your unit out of a jam in Kosovo even though he was two pay grades lower? Did he? Did he think of it when he risked his career defending you when Lenore called you a racist?" Denise asked. "I thought I knew who you were Michael, Frank always said you can tell who your friends are when you see who's coming in the door while everyone is going out. Looks like he was right."
"Denise, I am Frank's friend, it isn't me, it's the army," he defended.
"The Army made the rule, you chose to enforce it the day he woke up from a traumatic illness when he was by himself, what Army made you do that?" she held his eyes with hers, anyone could see her husband's pain reflected in her eyes.
He sighed. "You're right, it wasn't right of me to tell him this soon, I will go over and apologize first thing tomorrow morning."
Denise squared her shoulders and shook her head, "No, you won't. I don't want you coming anywhere near my husband again. Ever!"
Denise stormed off and got back into her car, instead of going back home she went back to the hospital, she walked into Frank's room. "Hey," she said quietly.
"Hey," he said shifting in bed. "You have the look."
"What look?"She asked not moving any further into the room.
"The one that says I'm Denise Sherwood, don't mess with me," Frank said laughing. "Come closer, I won't bite you I promise."
"Yeah well I learned it from being married to you," she said stepping closer but not close enough for either of them to touch.
"No, were tough as nails even before I married you. I remember trying to sneak a girl into my room in the hospital right after we met, you were so feisty, made me love you more." He was talking softly now, gently, as if nothing happened. "Why so far away? Who hurt you?"
"You," she murmured and looked at the floor.
"Me? Dee, Baby, I haven't seen you all day, what are you talking about?" Frank asked honestly confused.
"Frank, I just saw you a couple hours ago. You accused me of lying about knowing about the discharge papers, then I got upset and you told me you couldn't put up with this for another four months," she recounted.
"I have no idea what you're talking about, but I'm sorry I hurt you because I'd never want to," Frank said honestly. "Guess I'm still a little confused, hmm? Will you come here?"
She hesitated for a moment then walked to stand at his bedside, but still avoided eye contact.
"Sit down, you can't stay on your feet so long," Frank said the picture of caring and concern he usually was.
She sat in the chair beside his bed. "How do you feel?"
"Tired, sore," he replied. "Lucky to be alive. I'd never been so scared in my life, it's like I lost control of my body, all I remember is your face. I'm so sorry I put you through that, Sweetheart."
"Don't apologize it's not your fault," she said finally looking at him and smiling.
"Come on up here with me," he invited. "I miss having my arms around you. Baby kicking a lot?"
"Yeah, it's active today," she said but didn't move from her seat.
"Can I feel?" he asked. He wanted her in his arms so bad, she looked tired and wounded, like a little bird, but he knew how strong she was underneath.
"Sure." She stood to let him feel the baby.
Instead of touching her tummy he reached for her arms instead.
She stiffened at his touch and closed her eyes, he had hurt her and she wasn't ready to forgive him yet but she was weak when it came to him.
"Come here, Sweetheart. Please," he coaxed and pulled her just a little. "I didn't mean to hurt you; I'd never want to do that."
She sighed and gave in and sat on his bed beside him "Are you really getting tired of me?" she asked, now insecure of her place, the hormones and his illness had taken their toll.
"Did I say that?" Frank really didn't remember her visit at all. He was appalled at himself.
"Yeah," she said.
Her sad tone made the whole even come rushing back, Michael's visit, the papers, and Denise's wounded look as she fled the room in tears. "I remember," he sighed. "God, Denise no. I'd like to see more smiles and less tears but I'm not tired of you, never. Okay? Where did you go when you left here?" He had a feeling he wasn't going to like the answer.
"Home and ranted to my mother, then went and tore Michael limb from limb!" She was getting angry just thinking about him.
"Anything left of him?" Frank asked starting to laugh at his usually quiet, calm wife going after a seasoned Army officer head to head. He cuddled her closer and kissed her head.
"Yeah, but if I hadn't left when I did, might be a different story, the nerve of that man!"
"We'll make it through," he comforted. "We will, don't go upsetting yourself. When am I getting out of here?"
"In a few days, as soon as you're strong enough," she said and snuggled into his arms carful of all the wires and IV's.
"Did permanent damage, didn't it?" he asked, he already knew he just needed to hear her say it and needed her promise he wasn't alone.
"Yeah, but don't worry I'm here whenever you need me," she assured him holding his eyes with her own so he knew she meant every word.
He nodded, choked up, "Don't have a chance in Hell of keeping my career, do I?"
"You might, let's just take it one day at a time," she said gently.
That was good enough, "Ouch! I felt that one!" he said laughing. "How do you put up with that?"
"With what?" she asked.
"The constant whatever the heck he's doing in there," Frank laughed. "Soccer, making wine?"
She laughed, "Because it doesn't hurt, you men are just babies."
"Hey, I'm recovering here," Frank said tickling her side. "Be nice to me."
Denise only smiled and snuggled closer to him, she was content to stay like that, close to one another safe and protected, but she knew nothing could last forever, still she fell asleep feeling safer than she had in a long time, they could make it through, they really could.
The next day Michael showed up at the hospital and asked for Frank Sherwood, but the nurse stopped him "Sir, you are not allowed near Colonel Sherwood per his wife's instruction. I'm sorry."
"I beg your pardon?" Michael asked. "I'm his CO, I want to see him. Now."
"His wife has his POA and she put you on the do not admit list," she replied.
"She doesn't have the right to do that," Michael argued. "Get her on the phone. You have her number."
"Yes sir," she said and called Denise, Denise picked up the phone and she handed it to Michael.
"What room is he in Denise?" Michael asked. "I'm not kidding; I want to know what room he's in."
"No Michael, I told you I do not want you near him." Denise was firm in her resolve to protect her husband.
"He's a grown man, Denise. Let him make that choice," Michael argued.
She sighed angrily, "Fine. Honey, Michael wants to see you; you want to see him or no?"
"Hang up the phone, Dee," Frank told her. "Hang it up."
She did as he asked and hung up the phone with Michael still on the other end. "What is it?"
"Is having him in here going to upset you?" he asked. "I'd like to talk this bit out with him, but not at your expense or our baby's. So be sure you can handle it."
"Yeah I can handle it; if I start to get upset I will leave the room. I won't jeopardize the baby."
"Okay, call them back and let him come in, if I think it's too much on you, I'll ask him to leave, okay?" he said squeezing her hand. "We're a team right?"
"Right," she said smiling at him, she called the nurse's desk and told them to let Michael come to the room.
Michael walked into the room and was met with Denise's acid stare and Frank looking emotionless, he walked toward the couple "Frank, Denise."
"Sir," Frank greeted. "I heard you had a bit of an altercation with my wife. Upset her quite a bit, not something I appreciate in her condition or in mine."
"Yes Frank, my apologies that wasn't my intention in the least," Michael said.
"Why don't we just get this done then?" Frank was all business. "I plan to use my leave before I accept a discharge. Part of that time I plan to be working to get back up to par and make the physical reqs for my duty station. Am I to understand that isn't acceptable?"
When Michael didn't reply Frank looked at Denise, "Dee, take a walk, honey."
"First I just have to say something, you Michael Holden make me sick, you do something like this and then come in here acting like a saint," she said angrily and got up to leave. "It's pathetic, it's truly pathetic." With that she left the men staring after her.
When Denise was gone Frank spoke up, "Denise is feeling a little protective right now. Forgive me for that."
"That's quite all right, I deserved that," Michael said.
"She's been a little hard to manage these last couple days, seems it results from an issue that developed during a period of time I don't remember very well," Frank said. "Care to tell me your side of things. I know Dee can be unreasonable."
"She came over upset and angry at me, with good reason, she yelled a little then turned and left and told me to stay away from you," he explained.
"A wish you chose not to respect obviously," Frank sighed. "Look, let's cut all the crap, am I in or am I out? Straight talk."
"I talked to some people pulled some strings, you're in for now, but I don't know how long."
"But if I can get back, pass all the tests and stuff, we're good?" Frank asked. He knew Denise would cry her heart out when he told her he planned to work that hard but he had to prove he could do it.
"Yes if you can do that you won't go anywhere, but don't do anything to injure yourself further, if you do I may have to retire and move to Mexico to keep Denise from killing me, even then I'm not sure I'd be safe."
"It's me she's going to yell at now, not you," Frank laughed. "I think I'll tell while I'm still in the hospital in case I need medical attention."
Michael nodded "She just cares about you."
"I know," Frank replied. "Ask her to come back in then get off post."
"You go it," Michael said and left the room, he found Denise in the hallway.
Denise was pacing with one hand on her back and the other on her belly when Michael approached. "He better not be upset," she warned.
"He isn't, don't worry," Michael replied. "Look, Denise, I really am sorry, I didn't mean to cause you to be upset." She could tell by his tone and expression he meant it.
"I wasn't upset, Michael. I can take it, but right now he can't. He doesn't understand how fragile his health really is. I'm glad he has to leave the Army; you just could have found another way of telling him. You hurt him Michael, that's what I reacted to," Denise explained. "No one hurts him and doesn't hear from me. No one."
"Yeah, I got that and again, I am sorry. Truce?" he asked offering his hand for her to shake.
"Sure," Denise agreed shaking Michael's hand. "I better get back to Frank."
Denise walked back into Frank's room. "I got you some berries," she said handing him a fruit cup. "Baby and I had a slightly less healthy snack. You okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine, but Dee you and I need to talk." He hoped this went well but he was sure it wouldn't.
"Okay," she said settling next to him. "I already spoke to Michael."
"I figured you did, is he still alive?" he asked only half joking. Denise was fierce in protective mode without the benefit of hormones.
"Yes, we called a truce," Denise replied. "Was that what you needed to speak to me about?"
"Um, well honey, I've decided that it might be a good idea to start working harder so I don't have to leave the army," he said quickly.
"What?" Denise said honestly surprised. "Did he talk you into this?"
"No honey, it was my idea," he said ready for her to start hitting him any second.
"Frank, do you understand what's happened to your body? Really understand it?" Denise asked. "You can't do those things anymore, honey. I know you want to, but you can't. Your body won't let you, honey."
"I can Denise, and I have to try," he said forcefully.
"Why?" she asked tearing up. "Why do you want to push yourself so hard? You didn't see what I saw, Frank. I never want to see you that sick again and I will if you do this. Don't put me through that. Please."
"Dee, look I know you're scared, but baby, I have to do this I can't give up and not fight," he told her trying to get her to understand.
"You aren't giving up, if you weren't a fighter you'd be dead, Frank. We were this close," she gestured with her fingers. "You kidneys shut down, your heart was failing, your lungs were failing, you stomach was bleeding all at once and you think if you don't make it back into rank and file you're a quitter, when you've already fought so much? I don't understand that." Big tears now and wide brown eyes.
Frank sighed, he hated this. "Dee please don't cry sweetheart, I am doing this so we can stay on post and I can be a soldier like I always have been," he said and took her hand. "I'm not doing this to hurt you."
"Why is it so important that you stay a soldier?" she asked him. "You can do so many other things."
"I know Dee but this is what I've always done, it's what I know," he explained.
"I can't talk you out of this, can I?" she asked him, her voice cracking.
"No honey, but please don't worry. I'll be okay," he whispered softly.
She looked into his eyes, "Would it matter if I begged you not to do this? Please do not do this, take the discharge, we'll work it out."
Frank sighed it was getting difficult to tell her he wouldn't change his mind. "Dee I need to do this." He hoped she would understand.
She took a deep breath and reached out to touch his cheek, Frank knew Denise well, her soft skin on his was not what it seemed, it was not a loving caress, it was instead a gesture of resignation.
"Get some rest okay," she said sliding off the bed, tears still falling.
"Where you going?" he asked and reached to take her hand to stop her from leaving him.
"Home," she replied. "You're getting out of here tomorrow and there's a lot to do. You aren't strong enough to do a lot on your own just yet and I'm getting too big to help you with much, so I have to improvise. I'll see you in the morning, okay?"
He nodded to her and watched her go before lying back and closing his eyes to keep his own tears from betraying the deep crack in his heart.