Chapter 19

disclaimer/ I do not own Divergent

I walk towards the front door and set all of the bags down. I look up and glance around one last time before reaching for the handle.

I'm less then half a yard away from the door, yet my hand never reaches the cold piece of metal.

Tris POV

A hand wraps its way around my wrist while another one wraps around my mouth, preventing me from speaking. A high-pitched squeal leaves my throat as I'm wrenched away from the door and dragged into the kitchen. I try and shift my head enough to where I'll be able to see my attacker, but to no avail.

I can feel the panic beginning to rise up in my chest and wrench myself back and forth viciously, trying to loosen their grasp on me. I hear a gasp of frustration as my attacker tightens their grip, and I can feel the bruises forming on my arm.

Okay, breathe Tris. Everything's gonna be fine. Just build up some confidence and my instincts will kick in, just like Tobias said. I'll be fine.

I take a deep breath and again try to get out of their grasp, just in time for whoever it is to twist my arm behind me and cause me to whimper out in pain.

It's not working. I don't know what I'm doing and my so called instincts and muscle memory isn't doing crap for me.

Alright new plan. I need to figure out who this is. I need to be able to have control of something or I'm really going to freak out. My setting points to the obvious but I refuse to believe he would do something like this.

He basically kidnapped you, you idiot, the other side of my brain says. Why would it be bizzare for him to pull a stunt like this?

Please don't be Matthew, please, please, please. I don't want to think he is capable of something like this. Please.

I'm thrown to the ground and land with a hard thud. I glance up and am met with cold, cruel eyes filled with anger. My heart stops.

"Matthew."

He ignores me as he reaches his foot back to kick me. His boot shoves itself into my side and I let out a yelp of pain.

"Shut up, you little rat," he barks at me. "How stupid your guard dog was to let you come here by yourself."

Tobias.

He's right outside the door and Matthew has no idea.

I open my mouth prepared to scream, but am met with a punch to the chest, leaving me breathless.

"It wasn't supposed to be this way, Bea. You should have listened to me. You should have came back with me. I've been there for you through everything. Yet, you chose to leave me for complete strangers."

"You lied to me," I croak out, trying to catch my breath.

"What do you not understand? You're mine. I kept you here with me, I kept you safe," he yells at me.

He shakes his head and leans down towards my bruised body, grabbing both of my wrists in one hand.

"We could have been happy," he says stroking my cheekbone.

"Yeah, because I would have been sooo happy living with an abusive bastard," I seethe through gritted teeth.

His face turns bright red and his features become overwhelmed with anger.

He doesn't say another word as he picks me up and throws me against the entertainment center. The glass from the television shatters in fragments all around me as i collapse to the ground and my vision begins to blacken around the edges.

"Tobias!," I scream with every ounce of strength I have in me.

Matthew's face goes slack. "What are you yelling for him for, huh? He's not here," he says trying to keep his voice steady, like he's trying to convince himself instead of me. "You don't need him. I'm the only one you will ever ne-"

"Tobias!," I yell again, my voice breaking at the last syllable.

Where is he?

"Tris!," Tobias' voice bellows out from the entry way. "Tris!"

Matthew drops my wrists and with one final vengeful-filled look, he sprints towards the fire escape.

"Tris, where are yo-Oh my God!," he says as he rushes towards the kitchen.

"Tobias," I breathe out in relief.

"Tris, my God, what in the hell happened?," Zeke says. They both open their mouths preparing to speak, but stop short when they're close enough to see my battered body.

Tobias' eyes darken as he takes in my appearance. He spins around in search of Matthew, but I stop him.

"Don't bother, he's long gone by now," I croak out.

Zeke walks towards me carefully, trying to avoid the shards of glass strung across the room and Tobias follows in suit. They crouch down on either side of me and together pick me up to set me on the couch in the living room.

The last few days seem to flash through my mind like a lightening storm, and although I can hear both of the boys trying to get my attention, I can focus on nothing else. I begin to hear a loud ringing in my ears and my hands immediately slam down on them. My body begins to shake and I can hear someone screaming in the distance. The screaming goes on and on and is really starting to give me a headache when I realize no one else is here.

I'm the one screaming.

"Tris! Tris! It's okay! You're okay! Tris, please you need to breathe!"

I want to listen but I have no control. Never do I remember being as scared as I am now. All the talk of me being some brave, courageous girl is crap. I'm nothing more than a damaged and scarred teenager that is scared out of her mind.

I feel warm, strong arms wrap around me and I'm pulled into an embrace.

My mind slowly begins to clear and I melt into his arms.

"Tobias," I whisper.

"Shhhh," he says to me softly. "Just let me hold you, okay?"

He leads me back to the couch and helps me sit down. I must have gotten up when I was freaking out.

"Where's Zeke?," I ask looking around.

"I told him to take your bags down to the van while I try to calm you down," he says, tucking my hair behind my ears.

I sigh.

"I don't know what happened. It was like I had no control over what I was doing. I d-," I stutter out.

"Shhhh," Tobias says again softly, interrupting me. "You had a panic attack, Tris. You've been through hell and you've been bottling it up for months. The events of the last few days probably triggered a sort of emotional break down."

I nod my head slowly. I can't really argue with that.

"Do you think you could tell me what happened?"

I sigh.

"I had just finished bringing everything downstairs," I start. "I looked around and then reached for the doorknob, but someone grabbed me from behind and dragged me in here. I tried to call for you, but I wasn't able to for another couple of minutes. He was too strong and I wouldn't feed into what he wanted me too. The more I disagreed with him, the angrier he got."

Tobias shakes his head.

"I'm gonna kill him," he seethes.

He looks up at me.

"I'm so sorry, Tris," he whispers looking into my eyes. "I promise, something like this is not going to happen again. I should have known. I shouldn't have let you come in by yourself. I sh-"

"Tobias, stop, please," I interrupt him. "It was my choice to come in alone. None of this is your fault."

He sighs and shakes his head.

"I just need you to be okay. Tris, you were gone for almost a year. I lived a year of my life engulfed in a state of anguish and darkness because I thought you were dead and I was never going to see you again. Now that I have you, I'm not going to let you get hurt again," he says, his lips against my forehead. "I promise."

I snuggle deeper into his embrace when I begin to feel sharp pains in my arms and legs. I think the panic attack distracted me from realizing how battered my body really is.

"Maybe we should go to a hospital," Tobias says, as if reading my thoughts.

I shake my head.

"No. I don't want to go to a hospital. The cuts aren't deep enough for stitches and there's not much they can do for bruises."

"Are you su-"

"I'm sure, Tobias. Can we just go back to the hotel please?"

He sighs again and nods.

"Okay, let's go."

And chapter 19 is doneee:) So I made an Instagram account to post extra update info and sneak peaks. I ALSO AM STARTING A DO-ABLE SCHEDULE! So check out _madwrites to know what that is and follow! :) I love y'all, thank you for all the support and kind words! Let me know what you think of this chapter. R&R

-M

P.S. no one guessed the To All The Boys I Loved Before Reference yettttttttt