Title: A Leaf on the Wind

Disclaimer: Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.

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Chapter Twenty: The Lucky

Speed found himself in the hospital the next day at around four-o-clock. It wasn't the place he wanted to be. Would he be alright when he came out? Would he be able to walk and use his arms? Or would he have to start looking at life in a whole knew light? No one was there for him as the doctor came for him, whisking him away to the operating room. He feared going under the knife again. As they wheeled his bed toward the OR he found himself praying that Horatio would keep his word and be there when he woke up. He didn't want to be alone when, and if, he found out he could no longer use his own body.

The doctor placed a mask over his nose and mouth. "Alright, count backward from one hundred to one. When you wake-up the cause of your pain will be gone." Speed could have sworn the man winked at him as he began to count backwards. He was out like a light before he hit ninety-five.

While the doctors worked his mind continued to process information and throw out random pictures. He dreamed of Calleigh and Hagen getting married in the Florida Keys. That wasn't going to happen any time soon. Not if he knew Calleigh. There was a dream of Ryan getting tired of working in the lab and returning to the police force to seek his detective's badge. He saw Yelina and Alexx. Even Frank was there, celebrating his retirement. And through it all Speed saw himself standing between Horatio and Ryan. His twin pillars of strength. The two most important people in his life. One had his heart and soul; the other had his loyalty and respect. They carried him from day to day in their hearts and their minds. They experienced his ups and downs and dealt with his problems as they surfaced. As the dreams progressed he realized that something was wrong, something was off. He couldn't put his finger on it, though. It was almost like a shadow hung over everything. Some sort depressing cloud that kept them all from feeling the happiness they deserved. But what was it?

Eventually the dreams faded and he felt like he was floating in a world of darkness. In the distance he saw a small pinprick of light. He raced toward it, watching as it grew ever larger with each step. And before he knew it he was staring at the stark white ceiling of his hospital room. All the humming and beeping of the machinery around him finally reached his ears. He was able to smell the sterileness that every hospital had. He felt the cooling air circulated around the room. It all happened gradually like he was resettling in his body a fraction at a time. The experience was strange and scary. And it was something he hoped to never experience again.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to look into the bright shining light a tiny flashlight. His brain screamed at the sudden brightness and he closed his eyes.

"Is that normal?" he heard Horatio ask the doctor. Relief washed over him at the sound of his boss's voice. He had kept his promise.

"I'm not surprised by it, if that helps any," the doctor replied in a vague manner.

"He told me why he was here, so there's no reason to keep anything from me," Horatio told the doctor. His voice was measured and had the slightest hint of annoyance to it.

"It's too early to tell if it's a bad reaction," the doctor told him. He was checking the various machines. "The area has been aggravated by the surgery. We won't know until later today how he's going to fair. Sorry, Tim, but you'll have to wait a few hours longer to know how it went."

The doctor left them. He had been listening with his eyes closed, not strong enough to look at the doctor in case the news was bad. Now that they were alone he found himself once again staring at the ceiling. So many questions and thoughts were running through his mind. All the dreams came rushing back to him all at once. He couldn't make heads or tails of anything. Someone took his hand in theirs and he was reassured by the fact that he could feel their warmth.

"Delko wanted me to pass a message onto you," Horatio said, his voice soft. "He told me to tell you that he's okay and he's sorry that he didn't call. Had I known that he was to call you I wouldn't have kept him so busy."

"It's okay," Speed said finally looking at his boss. It shocked him once again to see how rundown and tired his boss looked. If he didn't know any better it looked as though he'd lost weight. The suit he wore just kind of hung off his frame. "You haven't been taking care of yourself," Speed said before he realized it.

Horatio smiled slightly. "Too much work to be done. Cops throughout the state are in the crosshairs. How can I find the time to rest? And one of my best men is lying here in the hospital. Don't worry about me, Speed. I need you to focus on getting better. I need you back in the lab. I can't go five minutes without Delko or Calleigh asking me how you are. Even Ryan has been hounding me for information. They try to catch me in a moment of down time but those have become so rare."

"How is the investigation going?" He didn't want to talk about the others and hear how worried they were. He didn't want to think about how sick Horatio looked, how frail he appeared. It was disturbing to think of his boss, a strong man, looking frail and weak. "Have you gotten any leads?"

"The Feds sent down a man they use to interrogate terrorists. Hagen and Frank were going to accompany him when I left to come here," Horatio answered. "Hopefully they'll get something out of him. All law enforcement personal, on duty and off, have been placed on red alert. Firefighters and EMT's have started checking people for weapons before treating them. Before too long they'll be a public outcry and we'll be criticized for trying to keep ourselves safe."

"The world is falling apart," Speed said shortly.

Horatio checked his watch. "I have a few phone calls to make. I promise that I won't leave without saying goodbye. I'll be right outside the door."

Horatio went out the door and the doctor walked back in almost instantly. "Let's have a test of those reflexes, shall we?" For the first time in days Speed was happy to feel the pain of needles as the doctor tested his ability to feel. With a smile the doctor stood back. "Well, you have feeling throughout your body, that's an amazing good sign. The only thing that bothers me now is the light sensitivity. If that goes away I don't see why you shouldn't make a full a recovery."

"So it's over, the pain is over?"

"Yes, it should be over," the doctor assured him with a smile.