秋：Great Expectations
Once upon a not very long time ago, there was him, a little prince in a lavish household filled with butlers, maids, and other caterers that bowed to his whims.
Frankly, it was a bemusing sight, to see people at least three times his age practically licking his feet from birth that if it wasn't for the two ridiculous conditions that prevented him from raising a little empire of his own, he would have well, basically been set for life.
Born privileged and dying privileged.
It was such a sweet proposition…that could never come true.
There were unfortunately two things the little prince had no control over in his autocratic lifestyle, namely the genetic coloring of his scarlet locks, and that his name, would be "Kazuki".
It was really ridiculous, that even in such a sophisticated household, was there something very narrow-minded and outmoded lurking in its vast battery of dead-ended niches.
First, there was the tradition where in order to preserve their naturally graced inheritance of regal red hair, only those who were red-heads were granted the right to become an heir. Granted, Akakibana Kazuki was born a treasured red-head and due to being the first and only child of a suddenly gone sterile couple, it was decided that he was to bear the throne.
However, due to the adults manipulating his perception with calculated lies, the first absurdity, that he was picked as the head solely for his hair color, did not in the least bother him. Rather, it was his name that he despised.
Normally, "Kazuki" would mean something along the lines of "great radiance" or "hope of harmony" by combining the possible kanji definitions but just as luck, or more accurately, his parents would have it, he was named with neither characters and instead with the characters inferring "many" and "expectations".
This was another tradition, one in which you are supposed to make a wish on a child's name so they may fulfill it throughout their lives. Unsurprisingly, many past household members had names that became downright suffocating and simply terrible for mental health.
He supposed it was better than the countless number of his ancestors that were named Daiki. "Dai" referring to great and "ki" referring to expectations, creating an exact Japanese replica of Charles Dickens Great Expectations, with certain embarrassment lingering in the name.
Nevertheless, there was not much difference between "Kazuki" and "Daiki". In the end, each still lead to the congealing despair of expectations.
Struck by words that drove themselves through him, leaving his gaping with bloody holes throughout, Akakibana Kazuki became accustomed to the cruelty of the adults as they shouted incessantly, "I expect more from you!" "You're our family's only hope!" and other versions of the exact same thing.
They had expectations for him, so many that it was as though his movements were bound by invisible chains, hoping to morph into puppet strings as slowly, the little prince grew to resemble a doll more than a human.
Perhaps the transformation may have continued, if it was not for his dear little cousin that he was introduced to by his aunt. They came to his castle with early notice from his mother, whose welcome was a tad forced as the scarlet-haired mother and her black-haired daughter entered the house, marvelling at the elegant architecture with approval.
At first, Kazuki was slightly excited. He had never heard that there was another child in the household around his age. His grandmother only managed to have two daughters after all. Moreover, her name was a lovely, "Inori" meaning prayer, another expectation. Unwittingly he had decided that they would get along through the very same unsophisticated traditions alone.
Of course, being the perfectly kind and charismatic person he was brought up to be, Akakibana Kazuki graciously went up the guests and introduced himself before being instructed to show his cousin around the house.
He gladly did so as he led the curious and starry-eyed girl around, he giving appropriate information while she laughing and twirling around like an out-of-control top. Frankly, the nine year old was appalled by her behavior. Even though she was seven, due to being brought up in such suffocating conditions, proper mannerisms and etiquette should no doubt have at least began to govern her sense of reserve.
Instead, there she was, rummaging through the drawers as if they were her own, gasping at the movements of the fish that lined their giant glass tank, and suddenly familiarly addressing him, "Kazu-nii, what's that over there?!" with ebullience so unlike what he had ever been capable of expressing before.
The unusual situation compelled him to think in rapid succession, underdeveloped brain stringing the impossible together until all at once, did an epiphany change his life.
"…Inori-chan," he parted his lips, as though all at once trying to confine his hidden emotion.
"Eh? What is it Kazu-nii?" She spoke in a clear voice like an oblivious little bird.
He smiled. "Do you get to spend time with your parents?"
She rapidly nodded.
"Ah, that's good Inori-chan. And, what do you do when you're with them?" He asked.
The little girl in a little yellow dress pondered this momentarily. "I read books with Papa and go out to play with Mama. We sometimes play soccer together but I'm not very good yet," she expressed with innocent honesty, her vocabulary disgusting the boy.
He blinked back at her, a million warped emotions budding within him, threatening to bloom.
Ah.
Ah.
She was Different.
Different
Different
Different
Different.
She was the complete opposite of him despite being a member of the same household. Her black hair said she was not an heir, her name had no relevance to her character. Unlike him, she was free, irritatingly so.
And that…by some childish logic, could not be forgiven.
So for the first time in many years, he became human, raw human.
"Hey, Inori-chan, do you want to play a game?"
"Eh?"
[=]
Shivering with fear, the ebony-haired girl clenched her teeth, eyes wild and ready to scream.
"K-kazu-nii, I-I'm scared…" she uttered as she stared at her little red shoe that was placed in front of a German Mastiff.
The guard dog snarled with menacingly low growls.
"What's wrong Inori-chan? You want your shoe back don't you? It's alright. If you get the shoe back quickly enough, he might not bite you," Kazuki smiled with the same refreshing smile he always wore although unlike the other times when he had to put on a façade, he was enjoying himself—very much.
However, the girl was slightly smarter than he gave her credit for. She turned on her heels for the mansion, about to run when the mere sight only made Kazuki's smile brim with pleasure.
"Ah, if you run or scream, I'll let him win." Kazuki grinned from ear to ear. She was smart but not smart enough.
She turned to him. "L-let him win?" His carefree words terrified her. It was as though he was simply playing a game.
Her unease was correct. "Oh?" A slight lilt emanated from his lips. "Did you forget already Inori-chan? I asked if you wanted to play a game right? Of course there should be a loser and winner," Kazuki beamed.
She shivered.
Kazuki's eyes narrowed into deviously. "So of course, if he wins, I guess he can do whatever he likes with you. Did you know Inori-chan? Samuel hasn't had any food today."
Tears flooded the girl's eyes.
[=]
In retrospect, it was the first time Akakibana Kazuki had bullied someone in his tender life. He came close by having his servants listen to his whims but it was nothing compared to the gratification and release he felt when he bullied the girl.
Of course, considering his position, he never caused any physical harm to the girl. When she bit her quivering lip and ran for her shoe with hurried steps, the dog had widened its jaws at her arm, her whole body contorted with terror but with a quick clap of his hands, the Mastiff stopped.
Everything was set up, so he could relish in her pain.
Yet it didn't stop there. That year, they visited each other's home quite often. They didn't live particularly close but apparently there was an issue for the adults of the household.
Kazuki did not mind. It would be another added responsibility. He merely took this as a chance to watch her chills, tears, and flinches, grow more frequent every time they played another "game".
"Hey Inori-chan? You're not allowed to tell anyone about this okay?" Kazuki warned with a smirk.
She supressed a sniffle as she looked up at him, sharp defiance in her eyes from the injustice.
Her cousin's joy heightened from her actions. "If you tell, the one who will be in trouble is you," he said, savoring the terrorism.
A flicker of hesitation surfaced in her golden eyes. "…W-why?"
His smile widened as he suddenly stepped back, turned away. "Who knows? I guess…you'll have to try it first to find out," he taunted, head suddenly lulled back. "But…I wonder what would happen if you did?"
She froze.
However, tt seemed that she was not old enough to understand the heavy layers of threats in his voice. Right after they met up with her parents, she began to cry.
Her mother was dismayed but Kazuki's trap was perfect.
"Mama, Kazu-nii was being mean to me!" She cried, unable to supress her tears.
"Eh? Kazuki-kun, is this true?"
A pained expression immediately swept across the elder child. "Ah, I'm very sorry. I took her to meet Samuel, one of the guard dogs. Although he looks mean, he's a very gentle boy. I think she was startled when she saw him." Kazuki apologized.
"Ah, Samuel? I remember him, I got him as a gift for you when you were two." Matsuoka Shiori, her mother recalled with nostalgia.
The young girl gaped. What? Why was her mother smiling?
Inwardly, the 9 year old released a devious smirk. "Ah yes, I think I've heard that from my mother although I'm sorry I don't really remember."
"No, you were only two. But yes, Samuel was a very gentle dog." His aunt smiled as she turned to her little girl.
"Don't worry Inori-chan, even though he looks mean Samuel really doesn't mean any harm so don't call your cousin mean anymore okay?" She said, voice stern.
And the little girl, who was on the verge of tears broke, wailing and bawling like the child she was.
"Eh? Inori-chan?! What's wrong?!" Her mother cried yet she did not reply.
She could not because she knew her mother would not believe her. However, she wasn't mature enough to handle the injustice. She merely cried, cried, and cried, her words, her heart, inaudible despite the consistent wails.
It was the first time she had known of true injustice, something Kazuki could perceive at first sight. That, was why, he did not stop.
For he who was not allowed to express his emotions, become anything other than a doll for the future of a household he had yet learned to care about, it was the most unfair situation in the world. He was told to be all smiles, all encompassing, earnest, dedicated, and everything he wasn't.
He saw no reason for her to be happy. Moreover, after knowing and learning more of her family from the servants' gossip, he realized whatever he was doing, could be completely justified.
Akakiba—no, Matsuoka Inori was a child born from when her mother, Shiori-san had left the household and eloped with a higher middle class doctor. She, being the stunning woman she was and he being the talented doctor he was, quickly gave birth to a child with a knack for memorizing and a bright yet innocent personality.
Out of last respects for the family that Shiori, like Kazuki had loathed, she named her child, Inori, meaning prayer, a twist their family's expectations by hoping she would merely grow up to be a kind and happy child.
To this effect, the little ebony-haired girl, no longer carrying the curse of the red-heads on her shoulders, lived happily in the love of her parents, the complete opposite of Kazuki, even though she was supposed to be a black stain to their family name.
Yet, because of how kind Shiori-san was to him, like his own mother never was to him, sometimes he would wish that he was born in that household instead of her— that he would have black hair.
Still, he could never admit that. In fact before those emotions could take form verbally, he would beat it out of himself through the little girl until she became terrified by him yet never doing anything but pathetically crying.
She was not the type to fight back. She did not have the despair within her to adapt and fight back.
She was an innocent little fool—until her family had crumbled to nothing.
[=]
It was something that happened often in society.
The passionate love that had bonded her parents together had all but dissipated once Matsuoka Inori neared the end of her last year in elementary school.
At this time, she had rarely seen Kazuki and was growing up beyond the grasp he had on her fear.
It was the same for Kazuki who was in his second year of middle school. He was far too busy and preoccupied with furthering his studies than to give her a second glance.
Their little "game" had become a thing of a past, enough that in retrospect, Akakibana Kazuki had felt slightly guilty for his actions.
However because he could not admit it due to his pride, he decided to ignore it altogether—which was why he never knew the whole story behind her loving family's downfall.
The only thing he knew was that one day, when he returned home, a sharp slap had pierced the air by the front entrance.
There, was his supreme-overlord of a grandmother whose stern gold eyes flamed with fury in contrast to her fading red locks.
"You…disgrace!" She spat as Kazuki glanced down at the woman she slapped, the mark on her cheek throbbing against her porcelain skin.
It was his aunt.
Immediately, he darted around in hopes of seeing his cousin only to find her trembling, and in tears, like she did with the Mastiff all those years ago.
His aunt, instead of responding, only bent to her knees and bowed her head on the floor.
Kazuki's brows furrowed in disbelief.
"I'm sorry Mother…I won't bother you again but for the time being, can you please spare us a little bit of money…" His aunt, who was known to be collected and prideful uttered, voice tremulous at the shame she felt searing her throat.
His grandmother knew what this meant. There she was, her own daughter prostrating herself on the floor because of a man, that she did not even approve of from the start—a man that left her with a child of regret.
His grandmother's fingers shook as she raised her hand once more, about to yell and scream at her foolishness, until the little girl who, just like she had done with her shoe, rushed forward at the jaws of the Mastiff.
"Don't hurt her anymore!" Matsuoka Inori screamed, eyes fierce with soul-skinning depth, seeping with strength that made him reconsider her actions all those years ago.
She may have been afraid of the dog, but she still lurched forward didn't she?
It was the first time he realized the innocent little fool may not have been as innocent as she had seemed.
He almost felt like cheering her on…if it were not for the yelp that came bursting from her lips.
Without hesitation, her grandmother had slapped her.
"Fine. You will take her place, because you're the one that's the true disgrace."
The girl couldn't even breathe.
His grandmother stared at her coldly. "That black hair…is disgusting…just like your father was."
It was a ridiculous notion, that someone's hair color would have any bearing on their worth by but that logic, was how this twisted family ran.
Her mother did not protect her. Neither did Kazuki.
"Kazuki, come to the other room." His grandmother instructed him.
"A-ah. Yes." He acquiescently said and strode up the stairs to his room.
"Very well. Shiori. Lift your head. I'll help but afterwards, you're never to show your face around me again." He heard behind him.
[=]
It was on that day, did Kazuki decide to become nicer to his cousin. It was probably from the guilt of his past because when all is said and done, they were both bound by their position.
"Inori, you're my only hope, my prayer so please, help me." Her mother had said to her that very evening.
Kazuki didn't intend to eavesdrop but he couldn't help it as he hid behind one of their multitudinous walls, eyes flat.
"You have to do well. Whether its in sports or academics, or even Shogi if you'd like. You have to do well at something, enough that your grandmother can acknowledge you."
"Eh? Why do we have to—"
"We do! Because…" By this point, her mother's voice was all the sobs of another deranged woman she had once resolved not to be. "Otherwise, she'll call us a disgrace. Because I made the wrong decision, because you were born with black hair. You don't want that don't you?! You don't!" She cried, speaking more for her own pride than her daughter.
Kazuki sighed. Ah, him or her, in the end, there was no difference.
They were all actors in a rendition of Dickens' Great Expectations and she was intended to break the fourth wall and become Gatsby*.
He who was bound by his name and red hair. She who was bound by her name and black hair.
Both were here, chained to something ridiculous as position in their own family.
It was..disgusting.
[=]
Once her mother left, they had a little reunion for the first time in two years.
"Hey, how have you been?" Kazuki asked as Akakibana, who was sitting quietly on the steps, turned towards him.
"…Kazuki-san." She uttered, eyes too tired to sense him as a predator.
He however, froze.
There was something highly uncomfortable about this situation, enough for him at 14 to feel highly awkward. "Um...things sound quite rough don't they?" Kazuki murmured, eyes darted away.
She didn't notice. "…Mhn. I guess so."
"Did your parents divorce?" He blurted, before clamping his mouth. Ack, he messed up.
He didn't usually mess up but because his heart was practically bouncing up and down on a suspension bridge, he was more fixated on her reaction than himself.
Was she going to cry again?
Yet, instead of doing so, she merely nodded.
"...Yup. My father left." She said, no longer using baby language.
"Then…it's going to be hard on you." He returned, superficial words used for consolation
She shook her head.
Kazuki raised a brow. She was unusually calm.
"It's going to be harder on mother." She said loyal to her family.
"…Even though she basically told you to become the very best?" Kazuki frowned, that close to quoting Pokemon.
Akakibana glanced at him. "…You heard?"
"That's generally what people would say in that kind of situation." Kazuki bluffed while she gave him a suspicious frown.
After a few moments, she let it slide and glanced away. "Well, that doesn't really matter. What does is that mother isn't wrong. I do need to become better."
He blinked. So she wasn't resenting her fate like he did? "Why?"
"…Because mother doesn't have a reason to live anymore." She said, voice calm yet striking.
"…What do you mean?"
She snapped back, as though she realized she shouldn't say anymore to a stranger.
Kazuki frowned. "Oi, tell me already. You're not feeling too well either aren't you? If you don't let it out."
It was only slightly less of a miracle that she complied. This time, her voice quivered.
"…Because, she spent her whole lifetime, defying grandmother. She was so happy with father and father was so happy with her but…now that he's gone…m-mother has no reason to live. All those years…are nothing but years of regret to her now…I-I'm a-a…re-regret." She quietly voiced as tears gently slid down her cheeks.
He had watched in astonishment because the girl he thought to be a complete idiot said something deep…something he never considered.
Was the reason his own parents so strict with him…was because otherwise, they'd regret their life? If he…changed, would he regret everything?
Suddenly, everyone's lives seemed so sad, not just his own…and Akakibana was in the center of it.
"…I want to live."
He froze. She stood up, as if reaching an epiphany.
"I want her to live!" She cried, staring right into his eyes but no longer talking to him.
She was looking at him as though he was a medium…to her grandmother.
Even she saw him for the color of his hair.
"I don't want her to regret being with my father! I don't want her to regret having me! So at the very least…I'll become stronger so strong that she won't regret anything!" She screamed, her last words a final decisive action, unlike any of those hesitant steps she always held before.
She grew up to be completely different, and…admirable.
Kazuki stared, as a smirk escaped his lips.
Be it from guilt or from being truly impressed, he did not care but…no matter what, he wanted to help this girl…who fought against her destiny much better than he did by bullying her.
"…But grandmother may not accept you."
"…I don't care about her. All I care about, is to make to my mother proud…so she won't regret."
He smiled. "Then…I guess I'll have to lend you a hand."
It was from that day on that Akakibana spoke with confidence, walked with grace as she with her mother, left the house, with wads of money they vowed to one day return.
Allowing her words to govern his actions, Akakibana Kazuki soon saw things in another perspective. The rest of his world was not his enemy; the chains he loathed were no longer chains…for the first time in years did he stop seeing his parents as bad people and they in turn, no longer saw him as a product.
His world, reached a happy conclusion and for the two years after his cousin left, his life was in steady motion. For the sacrifice he had to make to seem the best in the outside world, were equal amounts of love and praise from his parents. He entered Rakuzan High and became president of the broadcasting club in his first year.
Although student council generally would've been the better position, due to their family trade of being behind entertainment and new broadcast stations, that was a much better fit.
Plus, his popularity soared as he became to go-to man for those who wanted a sudden rise to fame.
Yet, on the other side, in Tokyo, things were not going so well.
When he met his cousin again, he did not see that goal-driven powerhouse she left him as. He saw none of that. All he saw, was a girl no longer living in this world—but a world of scarlet.
Despite there not being a trace of doubt behind her visage, he knew from Tomie that for a while Akakibana was neglecting her studies, that she was rarely home and for the most part, had Shiori-san worried while her own worked piled on her shoulders.
It was not as though he was particularly attached to her mother but more because he was attached to the promise Akakibana made for her sake.
"I don't want her to regret anything! I want to help her!"
The girl did none of that.
Instead, instead of focusing on the big things, she had directed her pride towards the useless—like a love that wasn't a love at all.
Suddenly he felt betrayed…so much that the terribly sadistic side of him quickly surfaced.
[=]
"Ah I see. So that was what happened." Akashi Seijuro said placidly after Akakibana Kazuki vaguely described Inori's family situation.
Currently, Akashi was the one who knew the most about her, far more than even Tomie did and as such, considering how far Kazuki had pushed her, there was nothing more to hide.
"Can you do something about that?" Kazuki uttered, fists clenched, bitter that his only choice now was to ask this kid for help.
All he had done was hurt her and frankly, he wasn't even sure if Akashi was helping.
However, being the ever calm and collected one, Akashi merely nodded. "I can."
Kazuki scowled. "Then get her out of that delusional place! That girl is too much of an idiot for her own good!" He cried irritated by his leisurely attitude.
Akashi Seijuro paused, as if he heard something peculiar. "Hmm, too much of an idiot? I'll actually have to digress."
"Hah?"
"Conversely, I actually find her to be quite sharp…cunning to the point where she's capable of deceiving herself."
"What?"
"That girl… from what you told me, there's something that doesn't match up. Despite making amends with you, when you saw her again, she snapped back correct? Like such an incident never occurred."
"…"
Akashi smirked. "It's as though…she rewrote her own memories...so she can stay safe and sound."
"Are you saying she has some kind of mental illness?" Kazuki glared at his audacity.
Akashi frowned. "…Mental illness? If that's what you'd like to call it…" he said as momentarily, Kazuki swore one of his eyes turned gold. "Because it seems that either way…it's a quite terrifying concept isn't it?" Akashi said with widened eyes, as though he had become someone else entirely.
Kazuki bit his lip…it was almost as though he had crossed a line he shouldn't.
"But…in that case, even despite that, she still broke down correct?" Akashi continued.
"…What are you trying to say?" Kazuki demanded.
"…Just, that from here on, we may finally be able to meet the real Akakibana Inori." Akashi smiled, as though he knew, and was waiting, all this time.
He sat up from his seat, an air of professionalism taking over. However, he was still someone else.
"Well, Akakibana Kazuki-san. Please do not worry. I plan on paying her a visit tomorrow and settling things. If you don't mind, may I escort you out?" Akashi offered, headed for the door.
Rather than being escorted out, he was being forced out.
Somehow the notion made him slightly bitter. "…Then hey, what do you want out of this. This isn't a charity and you know that perfectly well. Exactly what do you want in return?" Kazuki asked.
Akashi promptly turned, the strangely colored eye almost faintly glowing before his expression completely turned sour.
Kazuki blinked. The atmosphere was calm once more.
"…No, I don't require anything in return. This was after all, for my own ends." Akashi returned.
Now normally Kazuki would have retorted from the sheer discrepancies between his words. Yet, he could not do so.
Somehow, he wanted to leave. Right now.
And so he nodded and followed the red-head out.
[=]
When Akashi Seijuro returned, there was a verdant-haired male packing up the Shogi board and placing it on the side.
"Shintarou." Akashi acknowledged.
Midorima turned, brows in a deep frown. "Akashi…what are you planning on doing with Akakibana?"
Akashi pursed his lips. "…So it seems you heard. Eavesdropping is not a good habit to have Shintarou."
"I did no such thing. I merely caught the last bit as I was returning to check up on you. But that's beside the point Akashi. It will be troublesome if I have to continue to take care of class duties alone."
Akashi smiled. "That's certainly true but, in that case Shintarou, before I say anything to you, since you've spent quite a lot of time with her, who do you think she resembles amongst us?"
"…You mean from the basketball team?"
Akashi nodded.
It was far too long of an acquaintance for Midorima to question Akashi's strange questions. He simply pondered like he was asked to as the words easily fell to his lips.
"…I suppose she's similar to Kuroko…" he replied, commenting mainly on her polite and quiet demeanor before he knew that wasn't correct. No, Kuroko was straight-forward.
She was not. There was something twisted hiding within her as he recalled her actions at the summer festival, when she decided not to go to the tournament because Akashi was there.
"…No, she's similar…to you." Midorima concluded, as though he himself could not believe it.
A faint smile pressed against Akashi's lips. "So you think so too."
But unlike before, Midorima's interest was gone for he had faintly omitted that when he mentioned her, he thought of the Akashi he did not know…that other one.
He did not want to know about that other one, because he made no logical sense yet Midorima could still not shake off his unease.
"…Akashi, what are you planning to do with her?"
The red-head gave this some thought. "…There are some days, when I feel like being Prince Charming"
And that was by far the most disturbing line Midorima had heard from Akashi.
*Gatsby: The Great Gatsby, a book about a man with nothing who through hard work rises to fame
A/N:
This chapter was so hard to write. I s2g. If you have any responses whatsoever please let me know because I feel sooo insecure about this chapter
Plus, next time, I guess we'll finally see, the true Inori! (i know a lot of people were bothered by this and im sorry i have kept you waiting for like 20 chapters aha)
Thank you so much guys and merry christmas!
Also, well to admit what has happened, although I always planned for a divorce in this fic from the beginning, ironically, it has suddenly been decided that my own parents are planning a divorce.
There was a lot of mixed feelings when writing this and I'm sorry that the overall story, which was supposed to end on the 22nd (in time for its one year anniversary) did not update enough to catch up because of my personal issues.
I can't guarantee the next chapter coming out immediately either as there are still many things I have to sort out in result of this (mainly my own emotions) so I'm sorry for the delay.
Cheers,
Infinite Skye.