Thank you for your reviews! Knowing yall are reading makes me want to update faster. I'm sorry its been longer than usual I am finally better but school started last week and I've been busy with classes. Things really start happening in the next chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games.

Haymitch

We don't get a chance to say much else before we are bombarded by our prep teams, Effie, Portia, and Cinna. They are briefly thrown when we refuse to leave each other to get ready, but after what happened today I don't want to let her out of my sight. I feel like the moment I do Snow will swoop in and get his hands on her. Thankfully without too much protest they agree to get us ready in our bedroom. It's a bit crowded but they make the best of it with only a few complaints. Cinna seems to understand that something happened and he does a good job of organizing everyone.

I drown out their conversation as usual having no interest in Capitol affairs. Really our prep teams aren't that bad, and they seem to care for us, at least a little. They remind me of children almost, but I avoid listening to them. If I did I might end up truly hating them. Thankfully they are used to me not responding. Katniss isn't as lucky and every once in a while, she shoots me a glare that makes me smirk.

Her meeting with Snow is still in the forefront of my mind. That is what I was waiting on and now that it is here I'm not sure what to do. Anger courses through my veins still and I want to fight and curse the Capitol. I want to start uprisings, organize a rebellion, and march through the Capitol with a loaded weapon.

I groan just thinking about it, and Portia raises her eyebrow at me as she tries to slip a jacket over my shoulders and I just shake my head at her.

I manage to shake off my thoughts enough to put on a smile for the camera as we board the train that will be our home for the next couple weeks but as soon as we are on board I let it fall from my face. We suffer through dinner with Effie going through procedures and schedules when finally, we are dismissed the first thing we do is seek out Haymitch.

Unsurprisingly, we find him in the bar, "Didn't waste any time did ya?" he asks moving to a chair and gestures for us to sit with him.

"What—" Katniss starts but he holds up his hand halting her.

He rises to the door and closes it, pulls a disc out of his pocket and sets it in the middle of the table. He pushes something in the middle and it glows red, then after a moment green. "Disrupts bugs." He says in explanation.

"What did he mean?" Katniss begins again, and her hand finds mine under the table, "When he said you would know how he could force me? What did he do to you?"

Sighing, Haymitch chugs down half his glass before answering with a faraway look in his eye, "After I won my games he told me I owed the Capitol. He wanted to sell me to people. The thought disgusted me and I refused. He told me my refusal would have consequences but I was naive then and I still refused. By the time, I made it home he arranged an accident that killed my family, my girlfriend. All dead. Everyone I loved." His eyes glaze over, he takes a sip of his drink, "I became the example to other victors who refused."

Katniss gets up and uncharacteristically of her, hugs Haymitch, "I know it's not the same, but you have us now. We are your family."

To my surprise Haymitch clasps his arm around her for a moment and closes his eyes. I don't think he would have accepted such an emotional moment from anyone else so I try to stay out of it. But it is true, Haymitch is family.

I remember thinking during the games that if somehow Katniss died and I won the games alone that I would end up like him and I see now that is what happened to him, only worse. It's obvious he blames himself as well. I know it's not his fault, it's Snows and it's just another thing to raise my anger against him. How many other people has he done things like this too?

My mind flashes to Finnick Odair always dating Capitol women, I remember thinking down on him, but now I realize Snow must have someone to threaten him with.

Katniss gets back in her seat and takes my hand again and they both pretend nothing happened so I do too, "The same happened to Finnick Odair?" I ask him.

He nods, "Him and others. Not all Victors, most attractive Victors though. Others are forced to do other things though."

"He mentioned Johanna Mason?" Katniss asks him.

Haymitch nods, getting up to refill his drink, "She agreed but then lost it on a Capitol citizen in a flash back and Snow killed her family too."

"You suspected that's what he wanted to do with me?" Katniss asks.

"I thought your relationship would save you, but that is mostly the reason he sends notes to Victors."

My mind clouds with visions of what he would have done if Katniss had won alone and I shudder gripping the table tightly in my anger, "Why is he threatening her and not me?" I ask frustrated.

"He is threatening you, he's just using her to do it." Haymitch runs a hand through his hair, "Snow's been playing these games a long time, too long. He knows you wouldn't care if he simply threatened your life. By threatening Katniss not with death but to be used by the Capitol he knows her fate means more to you than your own life. She is your weakness, he will use that to control you."

I stand up knocking my chair over and pace back and forth in front of them knowing he is right.

"What about the uprisings, he seemed to think it was really a concern, that Katniss could spark a rebellion. What is going on? What can we do to help?" I ask, almost desperately.

"This is why I didn't tell you anything before now. Yes, there has been unrest that you sparked in your games, and it could turn into a full out rebellion but there is nothing you can do. Any miss step and he is going to come down hard, not on you, on her." He looks to Katniss, "And vice versa."

"Fuck." I say.

"So, what do we do?" Katniss asks.

"Exactly what he wants you to do. It's the only thing you can do." Haymitch says gravely.

"Will it ruin the effect we had already?" Katniss asks.

"Hard to say until we see the districts, but it doesn't—" Haymitch cuts off, "You'll just have to be very good."

I'm not sure what he was going to say but I have a feeling it wouldn't matter if we were very good at fooling the districts, that if uprisings start, we will still be punished for them. So now I have to find a way to act like someone I hate and hope that it stops uprisings I want to start and it might not even work. I plunk down in my chair feeling defeated.

Haymitch sits a drink down in front of each of us. If anything calls for a drink I think this is it. I take a sip of the harsh liquid and it burns down my throat but I like the way it feels. I see Katniss does the same thing while Haymitch laughs at us both.

We talk more about how we should act and things we can do but it only leaves me believing that the Victory Tour is going to be hell. I find myself needing to spend some alone time with my wife and Katniss must be feeling the same because I feel her hand squeezing my thigh and when she looks at me I know what she wants. I nod, "I'll be right there." I tell her.

She gives me a suspicious look but trusts me and gets up leaving just Haymitch and myself.

"You're still keeping things from us?" I accuse him.

He sighs, but doesn't try to deny it. "Some things I can't tell you for your own safety."

I give him a hard look, "What safety? Every step we take could cause—"

He interrupts, "Exactly. Every step you take is being watched with a microscope and analyzed. I need you to trust me, kid. We want the same things here. You'll know everything eventually."

I watch him closely and something tells me to let it go for now. I do trust him. He did save us once already, something I'll owe him for the rest of my life.

"Okay." I say and get up to leave the table.