Kylo covered a snicker with the crook of his elbow as the princess tottered into the office doused in orange foam and slab sandwich guts. "I take it the negotiations went splendidly?"

Arms outstretched to the sides, Apple gingerly stepped into the room sporting a stance of supreme 'ick.' "What? You kidding?" she quipped, laughingly, "Everyone loves a good food fight with the ventilation systems."

"I'm sure," he chortled, fingers twitching on the inside of his helmet's strappings as he held it nestled under his arm. The stench of insecticide and greasy cold-cuts wafted off the princess in tufts.

She chuckled, half-irritated half-amused. "You know what they say, it's all fun and games until the greasy meat explodes in foam and smoke."

Kylo tipped his chin down entertained at her candor, but her stench was overwhelming. He popped his helmet's latching system with his thumb to open it, ready to put it back on.

The princess turned back to the two sandwich-blasted stormtroopers accompanying her. "Thank you gentlemen. I think I'll be fine from here."

The soldiers saluted her, flicking globs of the foam and pieces of meat on the polished curved doorway. Despite looking like they were on the losing end of a salami sandwich smackdown, the two men maintained the First Order soldier pride with lifted chests, sharp movements, and meat chunks on their helmets. They paused only long enough to flank the door after she entered, then marched off leaving a trail of foam and food behind them. Sweeper droids whirred into action mopping the floor after their steps.

"Okay," she faced her nephew testy, "What happened out there? The ship's annual spring cleaning suddenly decide to blow up the food? Because wow, that was some pretty gross cleaning solution and it completely killed my dinner. I mean, I only got a few fried potato sticks before the ship decided to spew goo. Not only did it ruin my dinner, but now I smell like a heady aroma of armpit, puke, and bug spray."

The dark knight snickered, "True. You do stink worse than a Tauntaun."

She flashed him an epic stink face and stomp-stepped her bandaged feet a few times. "Don't make me beat you. I'm serious," she said then chuckled heartily, "what happened out there?"

"The pirates had lice," he explained blandly, "so the ship's fumigation system activated."

"Lice?" Apple squeaked, scrunching up her shoulders and making a face like a horrified kitten. "Ewe! Spray away. Spray away." She waved her hand in front of her face, long drenched sleeve flinging foam on a nearby computer console, "I won't even care how bad it stinks." She paused thoughtfully, "Although a couple times, I think I heard a few officers dry heaving out there."

Kylo burst out laughing. "No, Apple, that wasn't dry heaving."

"Ewe!' She complained, making a face. "Well… that does explain the sudden effervescence of vomit afterward."

Changing the subject, the princess let out a long sigh. "Anyway, I really do need handmaids or ladies-in-waiting, because Captain Phasma is awful as one."

Kylo nearly choked on a laugh. He glanced at the holograms, hovering about the office spotting the tall broad-shouldered woman bossing the cleaning crew around. "I can't imagine why not."

"When I asked her if I had something on my face," Apple explained aghast and petulant. She swiped her hands down her sleeves wiping food particles and foam onto the floor, "do you know what she said?"

Kylo was too amused. "Please. Indulge me."

The princess leaned towards him, whispering conspiringly, "She said, 'shame and humiliation.' Shame and humiliation on my face!"

The dark knight didn't bother to hide his laugh, the corner of his mouth flitting up in an amused smirk.

Apple pouted, a little saucily, "It's not funny. She wouldn't even tell me if I had some food on my face. How am I to be taken seriously if I have food on my face?"

She folded her arms in a huff, mouth puckering in an impish pout. A pickle on her cheek slid with the movement. She gingerly brushed back her hair, blindly missing the pickle slice altogether.

Smirk widening, he passed through the holograms towards her. He plucked the pickle off her face to toss it aside. "I'm sure you will manage."

"Did you just pull a pickle off my face?" She asked flatly.

"No."

"Don't lie to me." She gave him a skeptical teasing-stink face. "Was that a pickle on my face?"

"No," he chuckled. "It was…" his taunting smile widened, "shame and humiliation."

Apple burst out laughing and smacked his arm. "Shut up." She lifted her head to scan the room with her blind eyes. "So, anyway, where is our esteemed general? I thought he was up here with you."

Kylo shrugged, apathetic. "He left."

"Left?" She asked frowning, waiting for him to elaborate, but he didn't. Something about the way she disappointedly frowned over Hux's absence agitated him.

"We were supposed to have dinner all together," she considered, "Maybe he already ate."

The Knight of Ren snickered. "I can't believe you can even think of food when you smell like the inside of a garbage compacter."

Apple squinted her eyes and curled her mouth at him playfully irate, "Hush." Her lips broke into a smile, "I always think of food… and shopping, and new shoes, and those cute little furry creatures on Heversford. My mind is always kept busy with wonderful things." She stopped to star wistfully at his face, smile wobbling as her eyes widened.

With a wry grin, Kylo instead lifted his helmet to put it back on. "Sometimes, I question your sanity."

"Don't!" she said suddenly.

He stopped, startled. "What? Question your insanity? You do realize that it will happen regardless"

"No." Apple dismissed his ribbing question, waving her hand impatiently. "I meant don't put on your helmet yet." Her eyes lingered on his face quizzically. She gently pushed down his arm, explaining, "I really like being able to see your face."

With a scornful snort, Kylo held firmly onto his helmet, "You reek. Go take a bath."

She laughed. "What are you talking about? I smell delightful." Flicking her hair back spraying foam and lettuce on the wall, she reached out her arms to him. "You know you want a big hug." She opened and closed her hands playfully. "Come here, come get a big… stinky… foamy hug from your aunt."

He shot backwards a few lithely steps. "Don't touch me."

"Oh?" She teased. "What'd you say? You really want a hug."

The odor emanating off her was burning his nose hairs. But there she was teasing him with a hug. And something about the muck-covered princess holding out her arms to him made him hesitate.

He lifted his helmet again, smirking, "you really do smell like the backside of a bantha." He went to put it back on.

"I know that this stuff reeks." She pouted, catching his arm. "But please don't put on your helmet."

He smoothed his fingers along the edge of his helmet, itching to put it back on before he lost a few nose hairs. "You need a shower before that stars-awful fodder eats through your skin."

"I was planning on it." Nibbling on her bottom lip, Apple dropped her arms to shrug up her shoulders in an almost childlike expression. "But don't put on your helmet just yet. This is the first time I can see the color of your eyes and I just want to see them for a little longer."

Despite his reserve, Kylo's heart suddenly beat faster. "Is your sight finally improving?"

"A little." She grinned then shrugged again, swirling her hips back and forth shyly. "I still can't see things that aren't organic. But right now I can finally make out the details of your face, which is new and just started happening a few moments ago." Her aquamarine eyes stared at him penetratingly. "It's a little like looking through a hazy filter and the colors are distorted a bit, but I can definitely see your face." She smiled a toothy smile. "And it's a face that I like looking at. It makes me happy to finally see…" Her smile wavered, "at least to see something."

He slowly lowered his helmet, but didn't respond. Moistening his lips, he pierced them.

"Your eyes are so blue." She told him straightly without avarice. "They remind me of my father's eyes. I never really saw his in person, but—" Suddenly embarrassed, she pulled away from him and padded over to a leather chair on the other side of the room, carefully reaching out for possible inanimate objects. "I found some old images of him and your grandmother together from their youth. You have his eyes. Does your mother have blue eyes?" She hit the general's desk that blocked her from the chair. Fingers feeling around it's synthetic surface, she frowned, grumbling, "Is this a table? Why can't I still see a dumb table?"

"It's a desk," he dissuaded her distraction then answered her prior question, "My mother's eyes are brown."

"Your father have blue eyes?"

"No."

"See," she beamed, deciding to use the desk instead as a seat, "I knew it." She hefted her small form up onto the desktop. "You inherited your grandfather's eyes. You're so much like him," her smile wavered as her eyes misted over. She looked away. "I miss father terribly."

His black eyebrows shot up then furrowed. He made his way over to her in a few long strides. "I will avenge Darth Vader's death." He slapped his palm down on the desk to the side of her. "And I will finish his work. When your eyes are healed, you will see his dream and goals realized by my hand."

She brushed away a few tears with her palms in unsure strokes then smiled for his benefit. "I believe you will achieve greatness, Kylo." Her eyes flitted to scan his face as if studying his every feature. "There is so much of him in you."

He leaned closer to her. "The real question is, how much of him… is really in you?"

An aromatic wave of bug spray, vomit, and refuse smacked into him. He reeled his head back. "Gack! You smell atrocious." He covered his nose with the back of his arm. "Take a bath."

She threw back her head and laughed. A significant whirring sound erupted overhead ending her laugh into a gasp.

"By Alderaan's ghosts," Apple glanced blindly up at the ceiling, "Not again."

"Down!" He snatched her around the waist, pulling her to the floor.

With a gurgling splatter, the ship's ventilation system spewed a sticky purple slime, spraying them. Apple yelped, hiding her head under her nephew's chest. Sputtering the vents rumbled, barfing out the remainder of the slime, before hitting them with a hefty dose of orange foam and green smoke.

After the fumigation onslaught subsided. Kylo lifted his head, purple slime oozing off his black hair to the metal floor. "I blame you for this," he told her contemptuously, "you and your lice-ridden pirate friends."

She glanced back up at him with a weak smile. "Well, on the side of the Bright Moon, at least we are louse-free."

He dropped his head with a groan then slowly got up, angrily flicking goo off himself. "We were louse-free before they came on the ship."

"Cup's half-full," she reminded him with a tickling grin. "Cup's half-full."

He grunted a stiff complaint, but didn't comment otherwise. Instead, he just snatched his helmet to shake the slime out of it. He grumbled irritatedly, sitting back to fish handfuls of goo out of the helmet's visor.

Apple laughed delightedly. Hair coated in purple slime, she pushed back a sticky lock behind her ear as she twitched her eyebrows. "Oh come on, it's not that bad." She flicked the goo off her fingers onto the nearby couch. "Just think of it like a nice smelly mud bath." She winked, "Maybe it's good for the skin."

She watched him dump more out of his helmet and covered her giggle with a sticky hand. "Or maybe its good for helmets."

Getting some slime in her mouth, she gagged spitting it out. "Ewe gross, it got in my mouth. It got in my mouth," she complained, making a face, "And it tastes like stinky feet."

He snickered. "Maybe it's good for…" He stood and offered her his hand with a smirk, "… your mouth."

"Hah, hah, funny." She made a puckering stink face at him then reached for his hand.

The door hissed open, catching their attention. General Hux stepped in the office and gasped. To Hux's horror, there on the ground in a large puddle of foam and goo was the princess submerged in slime and powder.

"By the stars!" He fumbled for his uniform's collar. "What the blazes happened in here?"

Apple's lips broke into a delighted smile. "General!"

Kylo shifted his eyes from her happy expression to the general and back. He retracted his hand slowly, curling it into a fist. A sudden surge of frustration filled him.

Apple tried to stand but she slipped and slid on her goo-covered fabric slippers, falling back down on her rump. "Oww."

"Your highness," Hux headed for her. He paused in his steps, rapidly blinking his eyes and nostrils twitching.

The young general reached out his gloved hand to her, wrinkling his nose against the atrocious odor perfuming off her. "Allow me to help you up."

Narrowing his eyes into slits at him, Kylo lifted the princess's light form up before the military man could reach her. "That won't be necessary."

Careful not to slip on the insecticide slime drenching his floor, Hux lowered his hand features darkening. "Of course."

"This is all your fault." Kylo sharply pointed at the general's chest, fling a glob of lilac ooze onto the man's starched uniform.

Hux made a face down at the slime splatter. The slime strung like a long violet booger from his chest to Kylo's index finger. "I see phase two of the fumigation sequence has been initiated."

The young general turned his attention to the princess, swallowing a lump of nervousness. "Your highness, you may use my adjoining washroom. I'll have an officer bring you a change of clothes."

"Thank you, general," she procured him a sweet and grateful smile

Hux gaped at her and straightened his uniform. Tugging at his collar, he sputtered, "Of course, your highness."

A dark shadow covered the Knight of Ren's face. He flipped two fingers in a circle, telekinetically forcing Hux's feet out from under him. The general face-planted in the slime with a loud thud.

Apple gasped going to his side. "Are you okay?"

Hux lifted himself up onto all fours. "Fine," he managed. Face covered in slime, he shot a filthy look at the Knight of Ren. "You did that on purpose?"

Kylo blinked, all false innocence and concern. "Did I?" With a snicker, he stalked out the door.

Apple waited until the door hiss shut behind him to shake her head. She carefully helped Hux to his feet. "You're lucky. Most sith just kill people. He must really like you."

Irritated, Hux wiped the slime from his face in one sweeping motion. "Yes…he simply…." A glob of purple ooze dropped from his hair onto his nose in one big plop. "…adores me."

Apple bit on her lip to stifle her laughter. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up."

He sent a sideways glance at the princess and his features reddened. "I… would prefer that you were first."

She nibbled on her bottom lip more, not prepared to argue with him. "Lead the way then."

Apple blinked her somewhat blind eyes at the general's washroom. It was in one word, synthetic. She couldn't see a lick of it, except some edges where the light reflected. Instead of a large black blur with organic materials highlighted in midichlorians, she now could see a large light blur.

"There is the shower. The controls are on three of the walls. And out here, are the linen towels and toiletries…" He rubbed the back of his neck, "they're… uh, men's toiletries, I mean my toiletries but you… you can use them."

Apple blinked at him, his form was focusing under her gaze. She could now begin to distinguish his features from his aura, but as she glanced at where he indicated the shower was… she could still see nothing.

She dropped her head, cheeks flushing. "I can't see the shower."

He tugged at his collar for a long moment, breathing soundly harsher before he managed to launch into a spiel about the washer's operating system. Anxiety oozed out of his aura as he took her hand, guiding her into the shower, haltingly explaining the water initiation sequences. "It is a…" He tugged at his collar, sweating profusely, "state of the art sequential cleansing sequence. The soap and hair conditioners are built in and activate when particular codes are entered. Uh… you…" he said quickly, "any user can alter the speed and intensity of the water here and here. The door can also lock allowing… uh, a person to alter this shower into a tub or a sauna of a.. uh… person's choosing. The drain vents on the sides of the floor keep the water levels accurate and prevent the door from opening before the user's bath is finished. The suction can be intense if a person is close to one," he said skittishly, "but the shower's design keeps a person in the center away from the drains. It's the most powerful shower unit in the universe."

"You just had to have the most powerful electronic shower, didn't you?" She teased. "Is that a man thing?"

He blushed, "I… uh…" He quickly changed the subject. "The temperature gauges are above you and this is the main control pad."

The general guided her wrist to the control panel. She slid her fingers along the slick, flat surface. "There are no buttons," Apple commented concerned.

"It's a touch pad. Here, allow me to show you," he took her hand and moved her fingers across the control panel. He held her hand gently, curling his arm along the outside of hers. He stopped. She could sense an increasing amount of anxiety waft from him, but he didn't remove his hand from hers. Instead, he froze.

She glanced back at him, seeing for the first time his features. The general gulped under the pressure of her gaze. He had wide large blue-green eyes with flecks of gold in them, high-cheekbones, and perfectly cut auburn hair. He was a lot younger than she had thought previously.

"I didn't know you were so young," she commented.

His face flushed and he rapidly blinked his eyes, "I'm twenty-one."

"I turn seventeen next month," she studied his features carefully, appreciating the fact that she was beginning to be able to see again. "You are only four years older than me. I'm impressed that you are general at such a young age."

He swallowed a large lump in his throat. "It's as though, for the first time, you are looking directly at me," he blurted then his face reddened and his aura swirled with a the pink haze of sudden embarrassment. He looked away from her.

"I am," she replied. "Perhaps, being sprayed with the insecticide goo," her lips broke into a teasing smile, "helped my eyesight. I can finally see your face."

He snapped his attention back to her, mouth struggling against an uncharacteristically happy grin. "Your eyes are healing." His elation surprised her. "This… this is capitol!" He snatched her into a hug. Cupping the back of her head in his hand, he embraced her against his chest. "I've waited for you all my life," he whispered against her goo covered hair. "I've waited fro you to see me." He held her close for a long moment.

"Ummm, general?" Apple asked against his chest. "Getting a little awkward."

He jumped back away from her, pushing her away from himself at the same time. She fell back into the shower's controls as he smacked against the polymer door, accidentally shutting it. An audible click drew the color from their faces. The water rained down on them from the ceiling faucet.

Panicked, Apple blindly punched her finger on the main control pad.

"Don't! Not the maximum setting!" Hux reached for her but it was too late, several wall shower heads shot water out at them from all directions.

"How do we stop it?" Apple shouted over the intense blasts of water, holding up her hands against the blasting walls of water affronting her. The shower nozzles shot out powerful streams of water the width of a man's neck at them, filling the shower to their thighs in a matter of seconds.

"As long as the drain vents are operational," Hux struggled against the typhoon shooting out of the wall in front of him, pushing him back against the center. He reached for the control panel, "then we can shut off the sequence. It's supposed to be top of the line," he attempted to punch in the termination sequence. "But apparently, now is the first time that it's not working."

Gritting her teeth, she yanked on the door's metal handle. "I'd get my money back!" Her grip slipped as she pulled, throwing her back into the water.

He pulled out his communicator. "Commander Rokens," he called into the dripping disc. Static answered him. "It's soaked." He smacked his fist against the shower's communicator; it only sparked in response.

Suddenly, Apple's skirts jerked downward. "It's got my dress!"

The powerful drain vents at the edges of the shower snagged her petticoat, ripping her off her feet. In a flash, Apple was sucked under the now waist high water. The aft drain gobbled up her gown, dragging her under. Hux snatched arm, pulling her out of the rising water as the shower tore off her petticoat to devour it.

"It nearly ate me," she clung to him, shivering. "Your shower nearly ate me."

A loud gurgling noise erupted, ending in a final sputter as the chewing up of her gown came to a grinding halt.

"Please say that wasn't the drain choking on my dress," Apple said flatly.

Hux glanced down around them then started kicking at the door. "We've got to get out or we'll drown!"

Apple joined him in banging on the door. "Who builds these kind of showers?!"

"When I find out," Hux pushed his body back against the wall to stomp his boot down on the lock, "I will kill them myself.

Another set of shower heads whirred springing into action, shooting them with diagonal streams. The water swiftly rose to Apple's neck.

"Why?" She cried, "Why in the universe would you want this many shower heads?"

"It was top of the line," Hux answered, sheepishly then gave her a snarky sideways look, "Can't you just use the force to get us out of here?"

"I've never used the force like this before," she waded her arms and legs to keep her head above the water then snipped, "because I've never been attacked by a shower before."

"For the love of the Seven Great Stars," Hux shouted above the rush of the water, "just try!"

Apple concentrated, despite the constant barrage of water spouts hitting her from all different directions. The door rattled then exploded open, and the flood gates opened.

In a flush of water with the magnitude of a waterfall, they fell out of the shower onto the hard metal floor, coughing and choking. Water pummeled them, gushing out of the cursed thing with the fury of a waterfall. Exhausted Apple raised her hand and the controls sparked, shutting down the sequence. She dropped her arm, beat.

"Why didn't you…" Hux coughed, depleted, "do that earlier?"

"Didn't know…" She coughed, sprawled like a wasted starfish on the tile floor, "I could." She glanced at him, cheesy expression, "First time for everything?"

He just covered his face with a wet-gloved hand and groaned.

"Look on the bright moon," she smiled hopeful, "we're clean now."

With that Hux threw aside his hand and started laughing, the loud an unsettling laugh of a man finally unleashing a lifetime of stress in one guffaw.

Kylo burst in, panting and gripping his lightsaber. Water slushing up to the ankles on his boots, he barked. "What happened? I sensed—" He stopped himself, the moment he took everything in, shutting off his lightsaber. "Apple?" He inquired knowingly, "What did you do?"

Beyond spent, the princess pointed blearily at the destroyed showerstall. "We had some plumbing problems." She whispered conspiringly, "The shower tried to eat me."

And on that note, Kylo walked right back out.

*****The question was asked about how much of Vader's DNA is in Apple. Very little. He still claims her as his daughter because they share some midichlorians.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. This is a rough draft, so the editing is limited. But please review. I really appreciate your reviews, and if you ask questions in them, I will definitely get back to you on them, in a PM if you are registered with this site or in the taglines of my chapter posts if you are a guest. So please review and favorite me. Thank you so much!*****