Hiiiiiiyaaaaaaaaa :) Thanks for all the reviews - here's chapter 20...

WHAT I MEANT TO SAY

There were much worse things to wake up to than a pair of lips trailing down the column of your throat and the blanket being pulled warmly around your frame, Tiffany thought to herself as she slowly opened her eyes, a smile creeping onto her face.

"Good morning." Drew whispered to her, slipping an arm underneath her back.

"It certainly is." She agreed as her hands fell into his soft hair. "What did I do to deserve all this attention?"

"What? I can't help it that my. Fiancée. Is. Absolutely. Irresistible." Each word was punctuated by a kiss. "It can be difficult to keep my hands off of you."

She wasn't exactly going to complain as his kisses travelled along her collarbone and down her torso, a satisfied sigh and girly giggle both escaping her. Moments like this reminded her why she was still with him. When things in their relationship were going well, they were so wonderfully simple – she only wished they could be like that all the time.

"Irresistible? Wow, I'm flattered." She rested her cheek against his hand as he tucked her hair behind her ear before getting out of bed and slipping into her flannel bathrobe. "But your irresistible girlfriend needs to have a shower because she is very sweaty after last night."

"Need any company in there?" He laughed, still lying in bed.

"I think that would defeat the object of being clean." She teased as she disappeared into the bathroom. Once behind the closed door, however, a small sigh left her and it wasn't one of complete bliss this time.

When Tiffany got home from work the previous night, Drew was waiting for her and what ensued was a night of romance – just like she'd received every night for the past week since they reconciled. She'd got what she wanted and her body felt content because of it but inside, she didn't feel right. She felt conflicted. One half of her was happy that she was finally getting what she wanted from her husband and then the other half was still pining for Jay, wondering where he was, what he was doing and if she'd see him again.

"Grow up, Tiff." She told herself in the mirror, looking at her unmade-up face and messy hair. She looked like a little girl, in over her head. How had she gone from being the sensible, cautious one to the one hiding the big secret–

From the next room, she could hear her cell phone buzzing and beeping so she went out to retrieve it. Drew – who had the day off work – had fallen back to sleep, his face buried into the pillow and a light snoring snuffling underneath. She shook her head and laughed to herself, picking up her phone and opening her new text as she went back into the bathroom.

Haven't seen you in a while – we need to meet up and talk. J x

She didn't react for a moment, just reread the text as if trying to decipher some hidden meaning that wasn't there. Obviously he felt there was something they needed to talk about, which there was. Was he going to tell her what happened was a mistake? He'd already said that he didn't regret it but perhaps with time, he'd changed his mind.

OK. Can't come out this weekend but I leave work 4 every day this week so let me know a time and a place after that. T x

The blonde left her phone on the bathroom counter next to the sink as she climbed into the shower, letting the hot water rush over her, hoping it would give her some miraculous idea of how to fix the debacle she was in. It didn't though, and whilst she washed all the strawberry shampoo out from her hair, scrubbing at her scalp, she heard her phone buzz again but she didn't jump for it, instead finishing up her shower and only checking it when she was out with a fluffy white towel wrapped around her.

I have a bunch of late classes this week. Stop by the college Tuesday at 7pm when my Rossetti lecture finishes. You remember where my classroom is? X

"I was thinking we could go out for breakfast." The bathroom door opened and Drew came in, obviously awake now and having slipped into a pair of boxers. "I went for a brunch meeting at Piper's the other day and it was great – you'll really like it there."

"Sounds lovely. You can use the bathroom now." She let her fiancée kiss her softly on her lips before she slipped out into the bedroom and texted Jay back.

Of course I remember x

After throwing the biggest diva tantrum of her career so far, Maryse had left work much earlier than she usually would.

The 1960s themed photo shoot – the central feature of next month's edition – erupted into disaster when a shipment of Chanel dresses hadn't arrived from Paris – apparently they were still sat in Karl Lagerfeld's showroom. As if that wasn't bad enough, it didn't end there. It turned out the team had been given the wrong measurements for the model and therefore she couldn't squeeze her size 7 feet into any of the 4s they'd provided her. Oh, and then the model in question turned yellow and threw up over an Alberta Ferretti jumper due to a diabolical case of food poisoning.

This all tipped the fashion director over the edge. Both French curses and size four Jimmy Choos were thrown into the air before Dante was called onto the set and decided a 60s look wasn't what he wanted and the new shoot – with its new theme Studio 54 – would commence another day.

Hours had passed since the incident and Maryse was considerably calmer, thanks to a lavender-scented bath and a couple of glasses of wine, and she sat on the couch in the living room, laptop on her lap as she attempted to write out some chapters for her book whilst trying to win the bid for a pair of vintage platform wedges for the shoot.

The front door opened and she turned around to see Jack enter his house after a date. "How lucky am I? I spend the night with one beautiful woman and get to come home to another!" He kissed her on the cheek before heading into the kitchen.

Maryse adored Jack. The Swagger family was close to the Ouellet family and Maryse and Jack had grown up together – well, vacations were spent together as the Ouellets lived in Montreal and the Swaggers in Oklahoma. They'd lived in the same city for about three years but even as teenagers, whenever she needed him, he was there. When she arrived at his with a suitcase at 1am, telling him that she and Ted were having problems, he set up the guest room for her.

"How was your date?" She put down her laptop and followed him into the kitchen.

"Petite brunette, great figure, good personality; you probably would've had the house to yourself if it weren't her having an early start tomorrow morning." He got a bottle of water out of the fridge. "Personal trainer – hence the fantastic body. How's your day been?"

"Don't ask."

"That good, huh?"

"Stressful. I love my job but sometimes it's overwhelming."

"So if I tell you that Ted called here earlier, is that going to better or worsen your mood?"

"Ted called?" She hadn't spoken to her husband since their failed vacation a week ago, instead she chose to hide away at Jack's, hoping he wouldn't call her. Not because she didn't want to talk to him but because space was what they decided they needed from each other.

"Yeah, when I got in from work and was getting ready for my date. We had a little chat"

"What did he say?"

"He just wanted to know how you were." Jack shrugged out of his jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. "I told him you were okay, you weren't angry with him but he should probably wait for you to get in touch with him because you're still in need of some space."

"Thanks." She was relieved it was Jack that answered the phone and not her; if it had been, she'd probably have either froze up or said something she'd regret.

"You miss him, don't you?" He wasn't stupid; he knew Maryse hated that she and Ted were struggling to sort out their marriage and all she wanted was to be back home with him. He also knew that staying away from him was probably the best thing because she needed her space.

"Of course I do. He's my husband."

"Well you guys will sort it out – I'm sure of it."

"Only time will tell, I guess."

Sensing Maryse didn't want to talk about it anymore, he stifled a yawn and said "I think I'm gonna hit the sack. You could probably do with getting some sleep."

"I have some writing to finish but I won't be too long."

"Alright." He gave her another kiss and a quick hug before disappearing down the hall to his room.

Resuming her spot on the couch, laptop once again perched between her legs, Maryse scraped her blonde hair back into a loose chignon and attempted to focus on explaining the many ways to wear a simple white shirt. The ideas were right there but she just couldn't get them down.

Her mind was on Ted.

Instead, she ended up going onto her photos, scrolling through the albums until she found 'Wedding' and let herself be taken back to the happiest day of her life.

Just as Dustin was about to leave work after a long day, he swung by his brother's office, knocking on the door and going inside to see Cody sat at his desk, looking tired out. "Burning the midnight oil?"

"Something like that." He replied, rubbing at his sleepy eyes – there was something on his mind and although this something wasn't his problem, it was weighing heavily on his shoulders. "I can't believe you guys didn't pick her – she was perfect for the part."

"Yeah, she was great and she's talented as hell but at the end of the day, there was someone better for the part."

"But–"

"You've never had a problem saying no to people before and if this were anyone else, you wouldn't give a damn. It's because it's her and you're letting your personal feelings come before business." He reminded him. When his little brother didn't reply, he knew his point had been proven. "I've already given you my reasons and I'm ready to go home because I'm exhausted. See you in the morning."

Cody raised his hand in some sort of goodbye before letting his head fall onto the desk. Attempting to catch up on some paperwork was the plan but it wasn't exactly working; he could barely keep his eyes open. In need of a pick-me-up, he went into one of his desk drawers and found a packet of cigarettes, untouched for weeks. He didn't take them straight away but after a moment's thought, he shoved them into his pocket before exiting the office.

Just as he was about to take them out as he reached the door, the blonde girl sat in the waiting area caught his attention. "Kelly?"

She looked up at him and smiled "You said you were working late and I was passing through so I brought dinner." She held up a bag from the takeout round the corner. "Mexican. There was an offer on enchiladas... Sorry, did I catch you at a bad time?"

"No, perfect time – I was just about to order something." He lied, pressing the box deeper into his pocket. "Come on through."

He led her into his office where he tried to subtly put the cigarettes back into the drawer they came from, before they sat down on the couch and took out the hot paper wrappers of food. Watching as she took a hearty bite of enchilada, there was something off about her behaviour; he'd noticed it when they were hanging out a couple of nights prior as well.

"So what've you been up to today?" He asked her.

"I worked the lunchtime shift at Marcella's before going home to watch TV in my sweatpants, then I decided I should so something productive so I decided to visit you. All in all, a successful day."

"Isn't Justin around?"

She hesitated, putting down her enchilada and wiping her fingers on a napkin. "Justin's in Los Angeles."

"You didn't mention that."

"He's got work stuff over there – he's the face of the new Gillette razor so he's promoting that and his agent wants him to pick up some other work whilst he's there."

"I guess if it's going to help his career–"

"Absolutely, yeah, I'm... I'm happy for him." She didn't sound it, as she tripped over her words. "Speaking of careers, have you heard anything about the Of Mice and Men audition?"

This was definitely not the right time to tell her and when she asked, Cody's gut ached. Then again, he couldn't put it off now she'd brought it up. "I heard back today."

"Yeah? What did they say?"

"Unfortunately they're going to go with someone else."

Kelly's face dropped. She looked crushed but tried to mask it with an innocent shrug. "Hey, what can you do? You win some, you lose some."

"Dustin and Sharon liked you, they really did, but there was just someone they preferred. Someone with more–"

"–someone with more experience, I get it, but how am I meant to get experience if no one will give me a break?"

He thought saying that would reassure her but apparently it had the exact opposite effect.

"Sorry," she muttered, wiping her watery eyes with a clean napkin. "It's not your fault, I shouldn't take it out on you. I'm just stressed out."

"About work?"

"The lack of. And Justin being away in L.A."

"How long is he going to be gone for?"

"Could be up to four months – he couldn't give me an exact period of time, he just said it was a great opportunity for him and he had to take it."

"It is a great opportunity." Cody agreed, handing her a fresh napkin to blub into; she was now into crying girl territory, an area he usually wasn't comfortable in. "Plus, you and Justin have been apart before so it's not exactly new."

"Yeah but we're older this time; it's different."

"Exactly – you're older, wiser, it should be easier."

"It's not though." She got up to throw the used napkins into the trash before sitting back down again. "The other night, I was lying in bed on my own and I started thinking; Justin and I have been together for what, ten years? We've lived together for five of those and since then, it's like we've...stopped."

"Stopped what?"

"Stopped looking to the future. I look at Tiffany; she's thriving in a job she loves and now she and Drew are back on track, they have a future. They're engaged, they want a family together and they talk about this stuff–"

"Have you talked to Justin about this? Told him what you want?"

"That's the thing, Code – I don't know what I want anymore."

"You don't need to know everything. Aren't surprises one of the coolest things about life?" Truthfully, Cody hated surprises but it was the kind of thing Kelly would want to hear. "When it comes to your career, don't let not getting one role get you down. It's not the end of the world, you'll get more gigs–"

"I know that–"

"And you say you don't know what you want? You want Justin, don't you?" Kelly nodded. "Well, for now...isn't that enough?"

She looked at him through shiny blue before bursting into tears again, no more napkins left so she had to use her shirt sleeve.

"Oh God, what did I say wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm just an emotional wreck." She laughed through it before holding out her arms. "Come here." He held her for a little while, stroking her hair as she told him "I'm so happy you're back in my life."

Her perfume smelt of hibiscus and berries but she also smelt of the enchiladas she'd been eating. "Me too."

Please review :) xx

NEXT TIME – Ted and Cody talk love, whilst Tiffany pays Jay a visit.