Chapter 20
Nightfall
A hand.
Warm. So soft. So soothing…
Kael's mind stirred and his heavy eyelids drearily started to open the moment he realized that miraculously, he somehow managed to be saved from the jaws of certain death. His heart was beating steadily and he could feel beneath him the soft surface of what was a bed.
Or was he already dead? He remembered for certain being assailed one final time by those terrible monsters he couldn't even properly identify in the darkness of the cave. He still vividly remembered the countless rows of sharp, blood-soaked teeth that were closing in on him.
No. He was alive. Most certainly alive. He could recognize the ceiling of his own dorm room, and the window to the left of his head through which weak rays of sunshine shone through the gathering clouds. The irritating sensation of an IV needle could be felt poking at the skin near his left wrist, and onto it was connected a long, thin tube through which blood was being transferred through from a sterile container.
Breathing a sigh of relief upon realizing that he was safe and out of danger, Kael slowly turned his head rightward to lay eyes on the face of Elena who was fast asleep, kneeling by his bedside. Her head lay side-on upon the side of the bed supported by her left arm, while her right hand was gently laid on top of his. Her dark hair was untied and in a messy state, sprawled all across the side of the bed.
Looking at the area of the bed which lay just beneath Elena's face, Kael saw that the bedsheet was of a slightly darker shade than that of spots elsewhere. Had she been…crying? For him? She, a Knight of the Jedi Order, cried for him? Her hand was furthermore placed over his, quite literally caressing it somewhat. Kael recalled the time he woke up in the abandoned apartment room in Taris, after he, Carth and Elena escaped the destruction of the Endar Spire. Her hand was laid over his back then, just as it was now. He simply shrugged off any suspicions or eerie feelings that day: he had saved her life on board the ship, and it was reasonable to believe that she wanted to repay that debt by watching over him.
But this. Seeing that Elena had even shed tears for him led him to suspect that she was not as committed to the ways and doctrines of the Jedi Order as she made herself look like. At the end of the day, even those Jedi who seemed to be the fiercest believers in the Code which forbade attachments were still sentients with a heart.
Well, perhaps for Vrook, that is. Kael's lips curled into a smile at the thought and he couldn't help but squeeze Elena's hand softly.
And then, as if she was responding to his actions, Elena stirred and let out a groggy moan as she gathered herself up and looked Kael in the eyes. "You're awake…I'm glad…"
Her smile. It was quite possibly the most beautiful sight in the whole world. "I am," Kael weakly smiled back. "You didn't think I'd die that easily, die you?"
She grinned back. "After seeing you take an explosion and metal fragments right in the back that day you saved my life, certainly not."
They looked at each other in silence for a while, exchanging warm smiles of mutual appreciation. He slightly squeezed her hand again, half-expecting her to notice their moment of intimacy and withdraw her hand promptly. But she didn't. She simply smiled more angelically than she already was. It was as if she didn't have a care in the world.
"What exactly happened?" Kael asked, blinking as a ray of sunshine pierced through the clouds and shone on his face. "How did I get here?"
"I was going to ask you the same thing in regards to what happened to you," Elena responded. "Some perimeter scouts found you lying face-down and unconscious in the meadows while they were on patrol on their speeder bikes. They brought you back to the Enclave and Bastila and I treated you with the help of some medical droids."
Treated…Now that Kael recalled the events in the cave, he remembered trudging on bravely despite the aching wounds and cuts on his back which were inflicted during the fight against the savage kath hounds. His front had also suffered some cuts against rocks during his frantic escape from the pack of unknown beasts which pursued him relentlessly. Looking down, Kael was surprised to see that the top part of his brown robes were gone, replaced by a simple white shirt. His eyes slowly wandered to Elena's and he began to turn slightly red as he spoke to her.
"You didn't…remove my clothes, did you?"
Elena immediately tensed and became flustered at his words. She panted ever so slightly and her face also went pink. "I…erm…yes. Bastila and I had to treat your wounds with Force Heal while the guards who brought you here were on their way to alert the Enclave to send in medical droids. Audrey and Carth mentioned that your back was grazed and cut all over by the claws of the kath hounds you faced, and so…we had to treat you."
Kael grinned, amused by her flustered response. "Thank you for that." Out of curiosity, he slightly pulled up the cover of the bed with his left hand. Sure enough, his trousers were also replaced with similarly white garments.
Elena let out a sigh of frustration, although she herself couldn't tell just why she didn't just let go of her former lover's hand. She flicked Kael's hand down again, and the bedsheet lowered to its previous state. Thinking silently to herself, she wondered just why she felt so embarrassed by what she had been forced to do in order to heal him, when she had done so much more with him while they were still happily together sharing the bed in their old Coruscant apartment. The man who made her heart beat madly at present was still her fiancé, and yet he wasn't. His face was the same, but he truly wasn't the man she fell so deeply in love with. Somewhere, deep down, the Revan of old was surely screaming for release, to return so that he could love her the way he so craved.
"I'm glad you're safe," Elena said absent-mindedly, her mind too focused on reminiscing about the past. "I thought I lost you…"
Kael looked at her intently. "What?"
Realizing what just came out of her mouth, Elena blinked rapidly and gave a hasty response. "I-I mean, I'm glad you're safe because you will surely have an important role in the mission the Council will give us. Your visions of Revan and Malak are invaluable in our efforts to follow their footsteps and determine how they amassed such power."
Kael looked at her with a disappointed, tired and hurt expression on his face which pierced her heart like cold daggers. Even though no words were spoken in confession to one another, both Kael and Elena could well and truly tell what lay in their hearts for each other. Their lips could tell a lie, but their eyes never could.
"That's that, then," Elena said dimly, pulling her hand away and out of the despairing grasp of Kael. Not being able to bear any further heartbreak, she quickly changed the subject. "Now, if you are feeling well enough, could you please tell me just what happened deeper in the cave? The others had no way of telling me or Bastila."
Although he was sullen that Elena still insisted on suppressing her own emotions, Kael nevertheless obliged her as he knew that the Council had to be told in order to come up with a plan.
"I'll probably have to start from the time right after we redeemed Juhani. You see, as we were departing the cave, I had a vision of…"
-o-
"Please don't do this, Revan. Please don't go…," Elena sobbed, clutching at Revan's torso as she wetted his robe with her tears. The Coruscant sun was blocked by thick clouds from which the rumbling of thunder could be heard, further adding to their sorrows. The couple stood together in each other's arms on the veranda landing platform of their apartment where's Revan's speeder was kept. A melancholy Bastila stood watching on some distance away, her heart torn to see her good friend and long-time protector leave to join the war effort.
"I told you yesterday, didn't I, Elly?" Revan whispered into her ear as he caressed her hair. "The Republic's faltering with every day that passes. The more the Jedi Order waits, the closer we draw to the Republic's downfall. Someone has to make a stand. Someone has to do something."
"Damned. Blasted. Council," Elena hoarsely moaned. "Sitting on their hands as always, waiting for someone else to take the initiative so that they can have them do the hard work while they can sit back and point fingers. But why? Why did it have to be you, of all people, who had to go? Why can't someone else be the one to—"
"Life is unfair, Elly – it's as simple as that," Revan said, his fingers laying softly upon his lover's cheek. "I know it pains you to see me go, but I have to do this. It may seem reckless and stupid right now for me to go to war, but we just might come to regret it if the war takes a turn for the worst later on."
"But…our family. What will happen to us?" Elena wept, shaking her head.
"I know you'll be in good hands – Bastila will take care of you, as she always has," Revan said, smiling at the younger Jedi whom he had grown so fond of over the years. "She may still be a Padawan, but she's strong and dependable. I have every faith that she'll look after you."
"I don't mean that," Elena firmly held Revan's hand. "I mean, what if something happens to you? I might never see you again. Our dreams may be ruined, all because of this stupid war."
"Elly, look at me," Revan said with determination resounding in his voice. He cupped her cheeks in his hands and looked her right in the eyes. "I will not die. I will return to you, and I promise you that. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want us to have a long and happy life with children of our own, and then grow old together in permanent peace. I want to see Bastila achieve the happiness that we have had, and find someone who will love and care for her for as long as she lives. Until that happens, I'm not going to die. I swear it to you. Do you believe me?"
"Revan…," Elena cried, the tears flowing down her face.
He held her more tightly and brought her face closer to his. "Do. You. Believe me?"
"I…," Elena gasped, swallowing hard before giving a heartfelt answer. "I do. You'll come back to me. I know you will."
Revan's hands softened back into a tender embrace and he caressed her cheeks again. "I'm glad to hear that. I love you."
Bastila's heart began to thump harder with nervousness when she saw Revan walk towards her. Behind him, Elena stood by while crying into her hands, clutching at the wooden pendent around her neck which was her engagement present from Revan.
"Bastila," Revan sighed, his voice almost an inaudible whisper.
"Revan," Bastila said matter-of-factly, as if she was trying to suppress her own emotions.
Noticing Bastila's efforts to hide her emotions, Revan grinned as he placed his hands on her shoulders. "Always trying to be a tough and firm one. It actually gives me hope to see that, as it lets me know that you'll stay strong for both you and Elena."
A few silent seconds passed, during which Bastila's firm neutral expression quickly sank into a mournful frown the more she looked on Revan's face. Without any siblings of her own, Revan was the only brother figure she had ever known. Seeing him leave like this…it reminded her so much of the day she was taken from her father to be trained in the Jedi ways. That day was many years ago, but the memory of it was still fresh, as if it was just yesterday. Tears began to well up in her eyes and she couldn't resist the urge to throw her arms around Revan, who gladly reciprocated the gesture.
"Revan, I'm…I'm scared," Bastila trembled. "Elena and I can't live alone without you. We can't…"
"You're no longer the scared little 13 year-old girl I rescued a decade ago back on Corellia, Bastila," Revan chuckled as he rubbed her back to soothe her. "You've developed into one of the most confident and skilled Jedi I know. You can pull through this – I know you will."
Too afflicted for words, Bastila warmly embraced the man who was to her all things: a mentor, teacher and brother. The man who, with the help of Elena, taught her to not suppress, but rather embrace the passions of her heart in order to fuel her strength and determination. After all the lessons she had learned from Revan, Bastila couldn't care less about the doctrines of the Council. Her heart was her guide, and nothing could change that now.
"I'll miss you…," she murmured almost lifelessly, too pained from having to say goodbye.
"I'll miss you too, Bas," Revan smiled, then playfully pinched her cheek in the same way he used to do as an occasionally joke during her youth. Bastila laughed softly at the pleasant reminder of their treasured past days, then slowly broke apart from Revan who proceeded to walk towards Elena.
Sadness suddenly overwhelmed her, and Bastila found it impossible to continue looking on. She quickly withdrew back into the apartment's living room, not turning her head to see Revan who looked back at her with sadness in his eyes. She sat curled up into a ball on the couch, and could only bear to take one look at her shoulder to see the crying Elena swept off her feet in one final passionate embrace before Revan finally departed in the speeder, never to be seen again as the kindhearted man he was.
-o-
Stirred by the sensation of a warm hand on her shoulder, Bastila blinked rapidly as she opened her eyes. Staring down at her with a pleasant smile was Elena, whose eyes matched the color of the grey clouds which loomed over them.
"Sorry for stirring you from your sleep," Elena apologized, crouching beside her old Padawan and moving to the side strands of Bastila's hair which flew over her face. "You must still be exhausted after putting in all that effort while we were healing Revan."
"No…no, it's fine," Bastila insisted, sitting up off the cool grass and rising to her feet to speak to her friend. "Is Revan awake yet?"
"He is," Elena nodded. "He's told me of what he saw deeper in the crystal cave. I could hardly believe that that place held so many secrets."
"What kind of secrets?" Bastila asked, and Elena began to lead her towards the main complex where the Council chambers were.
"You can find out as I explain everything he told me to the Masters. I must warn you that you will be shocked to hear what he has said. But for now, seeing as we're alone, I, uhh…would like to speak to you about the more personal side of things."
"You can talk to me about absolutely anything, Elena," Bastila assured her. "There are no secrets between us."
A dark part of Bastila's mind nudged at her the moment she spoke. How ironic, you aspiring murderous Empress bitch. Just what will you dream of next time?
Seeing that she had Bastila's undivided attention, Elena sighed before continuing. "I am fearful. The mere act of being with him just then simply terrified me. Every time I am near him, I can't help but be concerned that I may expose his identity. I fell asleep while watching over him, and when I woke, we were holding hands just like in the old days. I just couldn't let go until I wasn't able to take it anymore."
"Elena…," Bastila said, worried for her.
"I don't think I can do this," Elena exhaled, doing her best to keep a straight face to avoid arousing the suspicions of passers-by while she continued to talk quietly. "The closer I am to him, the more of my emotions come out. The further I am away from him, it feels as if a void is forming inside my heart and is growing larger and larger."
"Maybe I could…take over for a while?" Bastila suggested. "You need the rest and the time alone to yourself. You shouldn't have to put yourself through this simply because Master Vandar asked you specifically to train Revan. I'll always be there to support you when you need it, and I want you to keep that in mind."
Elena looked at Bastila and smiled in appreciation. "I could never ask for a more loving family."
Bastila smiled back. "Nor I." But then, a painful thought settled in her mind, and soon enough wiped the smile clean off her face.
Father…How I miss you so…
Sensing her friend's sorrow through their close bond together, Elena instinctively held Bastila's hand and squeezed it with assurance, just as she used to when they were much younger. "Never lose hope, Bastila," she said. "Remember what we all promised to each other shortly before Revan went to war. Once this war is over and the Republic finally experiences a lasting period of peace, we can finally leave the Order with our minds at ease. We can search for your parents, and—"
"No," Bastila cut her off fiercely. "I don't want to."
Too familiar with Bastila's stories about her parents, Elena persisted in her pleas. "I know you intensely dislike your mother, Bastila, but why don't you reconsider? After all, the feelings of resentment you currently hold towards your mother are the product of your spite – spite that may have only arisen because of an unfortunate misunderstanding. Why not give her a chance?"
"I don't want to," Bastila muttered. "I hate her. Always caring about her own desires above all else, not for father's safety…"
"People change, just like the seasons do. Why not believe that she may have softened over the years?"
"Enough, Elena. No more," Bastila said authoritatively, standing deathly still after being irked by her former teacher. Then, seeing the sullen expression on Elena's face, she felt compelled to give a heartfelt apology. "I…I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."
"Don't worry," Elena smiled weakly. "It was a sensitive subject, and I shouldn't have pressed you like that."
"No, I should have known better," Bastila insisted. "You've been so kind and good to me ever since you took me under your wing. The last thing I want to do is strain our relationship because of my emotions."
But the moment she spoke those words, a cold shudder rippled throughout her body as she reminded herself of the object of all her current fears and anxieties.
The dreams…Please, let the dreams stop…I want her to be happy…
"By the way," Bastila asked out of curiosity, opting to quickly change the subject of attention before Elena picked up on her inner conflict. "Did he know? About me using my Battle Meditation to aid him during his fight?"
"He pretty much denied it when I subtly asked him about it by questioning just how he managed to save Mission in his wounded state, but…he probably knows," Elena remarked. "I could tell by the tone of his voice that he knew we were looking out for him. Even in his brainwashed state, I can tell when my fiancé is telling me the truth or not. His personality hasn't changed in the slightest."
"The truth…," Bastila sighed. "When will we ever summon up the courage to tell him the truth about his identity?"
"That day will come eventually," Elena said. "He'll learn to properly keep his emotions in check soon enough. Currently, his heart is still wild, and although I know that he will never do anything to hurt us, it is best that we give it some time."
"How much time is the problem that has to be dealt with," Bastila muttered. "Better that we tell him than Malak. I feel in my heart that the confrontation is inevitable."
Elena looked downward, a wave of uncertainty washing over her. Even if she did tell Revan the truth about his identity, he could never go back to the way he was when she loved him with all her heart. It would possibly take years for him to fully recover his memory at the rate his visions of his past were coming. And with the shadow of war looming over all of their heads, Elena wondered whether they would even have a chance of surviving together to rebuild the family that they once were.
-o-
Hours having passed since night fell across Dantooine, Audrey smiled as she looked down upon the face of Mission, illuminated by the moonlight. The soft sounds of wildlife echoed from far beyond, bringing back precious memories of her past life on her homeworld of Alderaan. She thought of her beautiful mother, taken away from her by forces beyond her control. Even now, she still vividly remembered the bedtime stories her mother would whisper to her and her siblings before kissing them goodnight. Her mother's touch was warm and tender, filling her heart with hope and love even while they struggled to cope with their new life on Taris.
"…and then the Prince took her with him, to love and care for her for as long as they both lived," she proceeded to conclude her favorite fairytale which she told the still-sleeping Mission. "She would see no more days of sorrows – only joy. No more tears – only laughter. A life of peace and happiness. The end."
Upon finishing the story, Audrey wiped away a tear which fell down her face. Peace in her life was an elusive hope at best, and true happiness would never come to her again after losing her entire family.
Her mind wandering back to her surroundings, Audrey noticed that the empty bowl of stew she had brought and fed to Mission hours ago was all dried up, leaving the smell of vegetables, meat and seasoning in the room. After laying a gentle kiss on Mission's brow, she took up the bowl from the table and began to leave the room. However, she stopped the moment she saw the door slowly open, and a familiar sight enter the area.
"Thanks for sending Zaalbar to relieve me, Audrey," Carth said with appreciation as he came in and closed the door behind him. He then noticed that Audrey held the empty bowl in her hands. "Oh…were you just leaving?"
"I was," Audrey smiled at him. "Don't want the room to smell like gone-off soup come sunrise."
"I can take it back for you if you want," Carth offered. "I might as well, seeing as I need a real stretch after spending hours hunching my back while fixing things."
"No, no, it's alright," Audrey insisted. "You must be dead tired, and I don't want to—"
"Trust me, it's alright," he assured her, taking the bowl out of her hands and placing it back on the table so that he could deal with it later. "Besides, you're doing great things for Mission. I don't want to disturb you while you're tending to her."
"Thank you," Audrey looked at him with a beaming smile. "You've been so good to us ever since we came here. I don't know how I'll repay you."
"Could probably save my butt a few times in the weeks ahead – who knows?" Carth laughed softly, then took her gently by the hand to lead her back towards the bed where Mission lay resting. "She looks like she's doing just fine. The color in her cheeks are back now."
"I'm glad for it," Audrey said. Then, after a moment of silently looking down at the sleeping Twi'lek, she spoke with a smile. "She's beautiful, isn't she? I guess this is the feeling that my mother had every time she kissed me goodnight and watched me fall asleep."
"Heheh…I know the feeling," Carth chuckled. "I still remember the way Dustil always begged me to tell him stories about the missions I had been through when he was still a small child. Good times."
"What kind of missions?" Audrey grinned as she asked.
"Well, uhh…," Carth scratched his head. "We didn't have any wars to fight at that time, so I had to actually make up some stories on the spot. I considered myself to be a better storyteller than a soldier, at times."
Audrey did her best to suppress the urge to burst out in laughter as she snickered and lay her head against Carth's shoulder out of affection. Seconds passed, and when the humor subsided, both found themselves thinking about the intimacy of the moment as they stared into each other's eyes.
"Listen Audrey," Carth whispered, his brown eyes looking directly into the blue diamonds which were Audrey's. "About before…what happened in the afternoon. I wanted to say that I, uhh…uhh…" He found himself lost for words, and simply stared at Audrey whose eyes further softened and glittered beautifully against the moonlight.
One did not have to be a Jedi to sense what Carth wanted to say. Obliging him and sparing him the extra pressure, Audrey placed a soft hand on the side of his cheek as she leaned forward and kissed him tenderly on the lips. The kiss was light at first, Carth's lips hesitating to return the affection. But then, his heart beating wildly, he found himself unable to resist, returning her kiss with a growing passion. After breaking apart and recovering for breath, both embraced each other tightly with open arms, and Audrey sank her head upon Carth's chest.
"I love you," she admitted openly.
He caressed the back of her head and laid a sot kiss on her forehead before replying. "You beat me to it, sweetheart."
They stayed silent for some time, simply taking comfort in each other's arms while they looked down on the sleeping Mission. The moonlight was blocked off by a passing thick cloud, and then, suddenly, Audrey felt Carth's arms loosen. His arms were still well and truly around her instead of down by his sides, but they were frozen stiff and just shy of making firm contact with her body, as if they were suspended in midair.
"What's the matter?" Audrey asked, patting his back.
"I…uhh…it just feels…wrong, somehow," Carth explained.
"Wrong? How is that?"
"My wife," he admitted with a sigh. "I…still think of her, I guess."
The mental image took some time to conjure up, but once she realized just what tore away at Carth's heart, Audrey offered words to console him. "I think I know what you're feeling, Carth, and to be honest I kind of feel the same way about my deceased boyfriend. You can never 'get over' someone who meant the world to you. My boyfriend was one thing, but to lose your wife must have been traumatic."
"I'm sorry for bothering you with this," Carth quickly responded, looking down shamefully. "I do love you, and I promise to always keep you and Mission safe in the days ahead. It's just…a difficult thing to do – to engage in another relationship with a clear and open mind after losing your spouse."
"I understand, Carth, but think of it this way," Audrey said, tilting his chin up so that he looked her straight in the eyes. "I've never truly gotten over the death of my boyfriend, but deep down, I know that he'll want me to be happy. He wouldn't want me depressed and miserable my entire life. I'm sure it's the same with your wife. She loves you, and wouldn't want you to suffer perpetually from guilt."
"Audrey…," Carth murmured, a teardrop escaping his eye.
Smiling, Audrey wiped the tear off Carth's face with a soft finger. "If what the Jedi say about death and the Force is true, then…I won't have any hard feelings if you choose to be with her over me once we're no longer living. But while we are, I'd like to love and care for you. I love you, Carth. With all my heart."
The look in Audrey's eyes told Carth that he had no further use for words. He embraced her lovingly again, his doubts and fears gone. They kissed passionately one more time, their tears mixing with each other's and falling conjoined onto the floor.
After their lips parted, Audrey smiled and caressed Carth's cheek as she spoke. "Should get going and go to sleep now. It's going to be a big day from tomorrow, if what Elena and Bastila told me at dinnertime was true."
"We'll probably have to keep a much closer eye on her from now on," Carth said, looking at Mission. "We're going to have to travel with her still not having fully recovered, and it makes me nervous."
"She'll be in good hands, so don't worry too much about her," Audrey assured him. "Just get some rest, okay? I'll see you tomorrow morning."
"Sure thing," Carth smiled. They shared another light peck before Carth got up to leave, taking Mission's stew bowl in hand to return to the dining hall kitchen. "Goodnight," he said, opening the door.
"Goodnight, handsome," Audrey flirted back, chuckling at the soldier who departed with a grin.
Upon hearing the door click shut, Audrey finally let the butterflies in her stomach settle down as she closed her eyes and breathed a sigh of resounding peace. It was a truly wonderful feeling, to be loved again. Happiness was a feeling which only came on a rare basis, but this was a moment she intended to savor.
Her thoughts were disturbed, however, as she heard a soft chortling sound come from Mission's lips. "Teeheehee…"
Audrey's eyebrows sank immediately into a frown, and she spoke to the young girl. "Mission Vao! Have you been eavesdropping?"
The Twi'lek chuckled out at last. "I couldn't help it! The two of you are so cute together!"
"How long have you been awake?"
Opening her eyes slightly, Mission teased her guardian. "A short while before you started your fairytale story. Have to say, it was a good one. I stayed awake, knowing that Carth or Big Z would return. I seriously wanted to see you interact with Carth, and boy was I not disappointed!"
Audrey chuckled and pinched the cheek of Mission. "A bloody scoundrel you are, dearie. But well, seeing as it's out in the open now, I'll openly admit it. Yes, I do love Carth. Very much at that."
"That's so sweet! I hope Kael and Elena follow suit – they're obviously made for each other."
Audrey raised an eyebrow. "Mission, how can you say that? They're Jedi! You know what their stupid Code speaks about emotions, don't you?"
Mission shrugged. "Well, yeah, but…You seriously didn't notice the way they look at each other over the past month? The guy probably loves her to bits."
"Well…I have noticed that," Audrey admitted with a cheeky grin. "Want to start a bet on how long it takes for them to kiss?"
"You sure about losing more credits?" Mission poked her tongue at her.
"Ha! Consider it your pocket money, darling," Audrey laughed and poked Mission playfully in the cheek.
The two shared more laughs and giggles over what Mission had overheard in Audrey's monologues and her conversation with Carth. Then, after settling down, Mission smiled at Audrey as she gave a heartfelt message of gratitude.
"By the way, thanks for all the nice things you said about protecting me. I know I can be a stubborn little pain in the ass at times when I think I'm being mollycoddled because of my age, but…really, thanks for always being there for me."
"Don't mention it, dear," Audrey said. "It's what you naturally do for those you love and care about."
Another sincere smile was exchanged between them before Mission yawned and stretched her arms about. "It's late, and you said that we have a big day tomorrow. Could you get Big Z to come back in here to get some shuteye?"
"Sure thing," Audrey replied, then leaned forward and laid a soft kiss on Mission's forehead. "Goodnight, love."
Mission giggled as she returned a kiss to Audrey's cheek. It felt wonderful after so many years as a street urchin to have someone she could truly regard as a motherly figure.
"Love you," Mission whispered to Audrey who departed with a smile.
"I love you too, darling," Audrey replied back in the same way that her own mother used to say to her every night before leaving her to sleep.
She left Mission's room and closed the door behind her. The clouds which covered the moon were now blown away, and so were the sorrows Audrey kept locked deep inside her heart. She started to make her way to the Ebon Hawk, filled with optimism despite knowing all the trials which lay ahead.
After all, she would never experience solitude. Whatever hardships she faced, she would never face them alone.
-o-
"I'm so sorry," Elena said mournfully as she gently held Kael's still-lethargic hand while she crouched by his bedside. "I should never have told the Masters that you were ready. I rushed you, and it almost cost you your life."
"Don't worry about it," Kael smiled weakly and squeezed her hand. "I'm just glad they've made me a Padawan now. We can finally set out soon to begin our search for the Star Maps and hopefully stop Malak's campaign."
Frustration still gripped Elena as she placed a firm hand on his shoulder. "But what made you so adamant in your determination to go deeper into that cave, especially when you were so wounded? Did it ever even occur to you that maybe you could call upon the help of me and Bastila, after returning from that place and attaining the title of Padawan?"
"I'm sorry," Kael apologized. "I thought I had to. I didn't want to risk losing track of the visions I was having."
A silhouette suddenly walked past the window, and they could tell from the sight of the tied-back ponytail that it was Audrey. Prompted by her appearance, Kael asked another question. "Mission…How is she?"
"I've spoken with Audrey and Carth earlier and have seen her for myself. She's much better now, and I am glad." She looked him in the eyes and went on. "Though you were a close call, with all the blood loss."
"Well," Kael sighed, glad that all was well and that he lived to see her again. "Everything worked out for the best. I'm just glad that—"
"Don't do that again," she abruptly cut him off. His attention fixed on her all of a sudden, Kael could barely make out the tiny glistening figures of tears which were reflected off the moonlight.
"Pardon?" he moved his head slightly forward.
"Don't put your life needlessly at risk ever again. I'm begging you," Elena said, obviously doing her best to fight back sobs. "You're far too important for us to lose. This mission the Council has now set us on, and so much more…We can't afford to lose you."
"Elena, I…" Kael trailed off, lost for words.
"Promise me," she said fiercely, her hold on his hand growing more intense, almost into a grip. "Don't put yourself in stupid danger ever again. You hear me?"
"Elena," he said, summoning up the courage to finally say what he truly wanted to say to her. "Why are you being this way? Ever since our first days on Taris, you've been very protective of me. I mistook it as straightforward gratefulness at first because I saved your life, but…now it's something else. I know what the Jedi say about personal attachments, but after everything we've done together and also because of our bond, I…I guess it's impacted us in more ways than we'll ever know."
Elena looked away, her soft breaths growing into restrained pants and her breath heating up against her and Kael's hands. Then, unable to take it anymore, she started to rise to her feet.
"That's enough for one night, Kael. Go to sleep," she said gruffly, but then lurched forward as she found that Kael's hand wouldn't let go of hers.
"You know what I'm talking about; I know you do," Kael said, a fire burning in his eyes as he stared right into Elena's soul. "I lied before, when I said to you that I saved Mission solely because my desire to adhere to the light and endeavor to save and protect her gave me the strength to. I felt it, Elena; I felt you and Bastila's strength empower me through her Battle Meditation. You wanted to protect me despite knowing that the Council could have punished the three of us for what we had done."
Stubborn and full of fear, Elena kept a straight face although her heart was beating uncontrollably. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm going now; let me go." She tried to pull her hand away, but still Kael wouldn't relent.
"You're not so different from me after all, are you?" Kael guessed. "You're as susceptible to emotion as I am, and it's the same case for Bastila. Do you honestly believe that 'there is no emotion; there is peace' garbage? Just where do you get your sense of right and wrong? Didn't those same emotions play a role in you deciding to make Bastila use her Battle Meditation to save my life?"
"…" Elena said nothing. She simply glared him with tearful eyes, unable to utter a word.
"It was also those very same emotions which enabled me to win against that droid which took on the form of Revan. Of me," Kael said with conviction, causing Elena's heart to sink for a moment as she feared that the Dark Lord had finally regained his memories. "Even though I was at my breaking point, I was determined to destroy that mirage which dared to mislead me by showing my face in the place of that monster. I fought to the end not to prove my own worth, but because I wanted to see you again - because I wanted to live so that I could protect you in the days ahead."
Thank the Force, she thought. He did not realize the truth. Yet.
But still, I cannot take this anymore. I have to get out of here.
"As I've said, that'll be all for tonight," Elena said firmly, almost forcefully pulling her hand out of Kael's hold. "Go to sleep. You will have to speak in person to the Council tomorrow, and the medical team told me that you will be fit to move on your own by morning."
"Elena, I…," he reached out with his hand, yearning to tell her about the one vision he never told her about. Of the sight of her lips approaching his to give him the gift that he strangely felt that he had yearned for all along.
But he couldn't. She would not hear it. Not tonight.
"I wish you goodnight," he sighed with a sullen voice, his eyes wandering upon his beloved Elena who walked towards the door to leave.
She stopped just as she laid her hand on the doorknob and turned it. She did not turn her head to look upon him, and merely muttered one final word before leaving her fiancé alone in his room.
"Goodnight…"
After closing the door behind her, Elena silently leaned her head against it, looking down in sorrow. It simply killed her to know that she couldn't even bring herself to hug the man who once meant everything to her. Who still meant everything to her.
To her own amazement, she began to resent and despise the Masters of the Jedi Council. How dare they do this to her? To them? Somewhere, deep down, a small part of her wished she had accepted Revan's invitation to become his empress – to become the progenitor of a line which would last throughout the millennia. But then, she reminded herself time and time again that she was a Jedi. She could not fathom the thought of bringing untold misery upon the galaxy just to satiate her own lusts and wants.
Breathing a deep sigh, she dragged herself with weary feet along the open corridor of the Enclave's eastern dorm section, turning the corner to return to her and Bastila's room in the southern sector. The moon was pale and dull, overshadowed by thick clouds as she turned to look at it again before turning right to enter her room where Bastila lay resting. Having had enough of the fading light of the moon, she turned her head back forward…
A figure. Out of nowhere.
A woman, cloaked and hooded, was standing right in front of her.
Feeling her heart almost jump out of her chest, Elena opened her mouth to let out a gasp of terror and fright, but her voice was muffled by a firm hand which flew over her lips.
"Fool girl," the woman berated her silently. "After all those years, I see that some of my lessons were wasted on you."
It couldn't be…
"Master…Kreia?" Elena exhaled, the panic having subsided enough for her to give a calm response.
"I am the blind one, and yet it seems to me that you are most slow in reacting to your perceptions," the old Master spoke with disappointment. "You will do yourself, Revan and your dear little student good to brush up and hone your skills once more – skills which I have thought you still retained throughout the years."
"Why are you here?" Elena asked with frustration in her voice. "Haven't you done enough to the galaxy as it is, with all the terror you've played a role in unleashing? Do you intend to poison the minds of my companions as well?"
"'Poison' is…such a harsh term. Unfitting, in fact," Kreia bemused, her voice reminiscent of a deceiving serpent. "Rather, I have awakened Revan's mind to the truth through my teachings. Though you, Malak and Meetra were obvious failures by not being able to fully understand what I have taught you."
"You liar," Elena glared at her. "You're the one who led Revan, Malak and Meetra down their respective paths. You're the one who ruined our lives and the lives of countless billions of people. Exile was a judgement that you didn't deserve."
"Such cruel words…and to the one who saved the love of your life today?" Kreia asked, unfazed by the piercing daggers which escaped Elena's lips.
"What…what did you just say?" Elena's eyes widened in disbelief.
"Come, now," Kreia smirked. "Did you honestly believe that a mere kitten who could only barely pass as a Jedi Knight controlled all those beasts within that cave?"
"You…you didn't…" Elena bit her lip in anger.
"I did. And I must say I was sorely disappointed in my old apprentice. My old, most gifted pupil, reduced to little more than a whimsy flicker of his former glorious power and ingenuity. And all due to the stifling and sanctimonious teachings of those fools whom you call your current Masters of the Jedi Order. He only barely passed my test while escaping with his life. He failed me, but I did not see any reason to end his life prematurely."
"You…almost killed him," Elena's eyes flared up with rage.
"Consider it a warning, my dear Elena. Only by tapping into his emotions and unchaining himself from the restraints of the Jedi dogmas will Revan be able to overcome the perilous road ahead."
"We don't need your advice," Elena bravely declared. "I don't need you telling me what I must and mustn't do. You will only lead us to disaster, as you have led him to years ago."
"Your lips pretend to speak for you, yet I see the truth in your heart, young one," Kreia replied coldly. "I have overheard you speaking with him. I have heard the desire in your voice. You long for him. Yearn for him. You know deep down that only your love can unlock his full potential and spare you from certain doom in your upcoming quest, do you not?"
Elena bit her lower lip, unwilling to acknowledge the truth she begrudgingly began to accept in her heart. To think that someone else knew her heart better than she did…It was unimaginable.
"Even your silence speaks louder for you than your words, young Elena," Kreia smiled, then pointed with a pale finger at the door of Elena's dorm. "But now, we have spoken enough. Go now and rest – your old Padawan awaits you."
Her attention caught and diverted, Elena looked to her right at the door which lay beside her. Then, realizing she still had more questions that needed to be answered, she turned her head to ask Kreia further queries.
Only to find that she was gone, without a single trace.
A cold shudder rippled throughout Elena's spine as she slowly opened the door and entered the sleeping quarters. After pulling and closing the door behind her, she sank into her own bed, the voice of her old Master eerily ringing in her mind as she drifted off to sleep.
May the Force do with you as it wills, my dear student…
A/N:Sorry for the delayed update. As I've mentioned before, exams and work crept up on me. Hopefully you liked this chapter.
I really want to get away from Dantooine as quick as possible, as I've lingered on it for about ten chapters already. As I've said previously, all the other planets will have significantly original plots in regards to the search for the Star Maps. I want to include more and more moral/ethical dilemmas for Kael as time goes by, whether they bring out his old Utilitarian attitude which served him during the Mandalorian Wars, or his protectiveness of his friends and especially towards Elena and Bastila.
And of course, now that we're closing in on Tatooine, this is the point where the rift starts to grow and widen between Elena and Bastila. I'll add in my own twist to the plot for Bastila's family, and it'll have a significant impact on her emotions. And yes, I won't neglect our favourite buddy HK, so don't worry my fellow meatbags, haha.
I'll have to work on my other fics for a while now, as they're due for an update as well. So until next time, please leave your reviews – I love to hear from you guys.