SMST 6C: Hero Ultimate! – By DS Wynne
Disclaimer: R1/2, SM, ST and other genres belong to their respective owners.
Note: This is a multi-genre story.
Part 20
And for something completely different…
"Hello," said the hostess of a daytime, morning talk show. "My name is Cat Grant, and welcome to 'Cat Nip', the only show that is guarantee to get the latest gossip from the superhero community…"
The crowd in the audience roars with approval.
"On today's topic, we get to learn more about love lives of our greatest heroines."
There were a few whoops and catcalls from the studio audience.
"Now, settle down," said the saucy blond. "Okay, our first guest needs no introduction. She is one of the premier heroes who helped to stop the invading Skrulls last year. Let's give a hand to…the original 'Spider-Woman'!"
The crowd cheer, as Spider Woman steps outside from behind the curtains. She politely waves, and shakes Cat's hand before sitting down in a chair. Cat follows suit.
"Well, Spider-Woman was gracious to come to our show," Cat said. She then turns towards Spider-Woman.
"So, tell me, Spider-Woman, what have you've been up to lately?" Cat asked.
"Well, I have been trying to get my life back on track, Cat," Spider-Woman said. "Stopping the Skrulls take a lot of work, you know…"
Unknown to Spider-Woman, she was the merged product of the original Spider-Woman and Verandke, the Queen of the Skrulls. So far, her memory wipe of this fact held…
"Do tell."
"What's worse is the fact that I haven't had much time to date," Spider-Woman said.
"Really?"
"Really. Well, there is the old adage, 'Friends with benefits', but still…"
"Who would you consider in that category? Spider-Man? One of the Avengers, perhaps?"
"Actually, there is one guy that I do have an…affinity for, but you wouldn't know him."
"Actually, I might, because, thanks to my crack investigative team, we uncovered these recent photographs. Jimmy?"
On a monitor, there appeared to be a shinobi-like figure, who was making out with Spider-Woman, while Spider-Woman was using the wall for support.
"Where did you…?" Spider-Woman began.
"According to my sources, this hero has been you 'Friend with benefits' for years now."
Cat leans over.
"So, tell us about 'Ronin'?"
This question piqued the interest of more than just the audience…
"Yeah, I want to know about 'Ronin', too," said Vixen, as the African model-turned-superhero watched the show while on monitor duty, up at the JLA Satellite. "Cat Nip" was a guilty pleasure for her…
Zatanna the Magician and Doctor Light, who were passing by, heard this.
"Mara, what's up?" Zatanna asked.
"Um, I'm watching this show called 'Cat Nip'," Vixen said.
Grace Choi, who was affiliated with the hero team known as "The Outsiders", stuck her head into the monitoring room.
"Did someone say…'Cat Nip'?"
Doctor Light frowns.
"Just because the likes of you can use our facilities for training purposes, that doesn't mean you can come HERE," Light sneered.
Grace, a Chinese Amazon, raises an eyebrow.
"Your problem is that you don't get 'any' more often…if at all," Grace said.
Light turns bright red, while Zatanna and Vixen giggles.
Light turns towards her colleagues.
"You two ought to set an example, you know!"
"Kamiyo, you should relax," Vixen replied. "And besides, the show is a nice way of allowing the public to get to know the metahuman community."
"That reminds me," Zatanna said. "Why were you yelling at the screen?"
"Apparently, Spider-Woman knows Ronin."
"'Ronin'?" Grace and Doctor Light said in unison.
"You know him?" Vixen asked.
"Well, if he's who I think he is, then yes, I do," Grace smiles. "And I know his female guise VERY well."
Doctor Light frowns with disgust.
"What about you, Kamiyo?"
"I know him, when he was my instructor at the Nekomi Institute," Doctor Light said. "He was teaching 'Advance Photovoltaic Science then."
"Huh?" Grace said.
"Solar energy technology."
"Oh. So you 'know' him, too?" Grace said with a nod and a wink.
"NO…though it was because he turned me down, when I asked him out."
"For what reason?" Zatanna asked.
"For having…an abrasive personality."
"Ta, figures," Vixen said. She turns towards Grace.
"How did you know Ranma, Grace?"
"Amazon festival," Grace said. "He beat me in his 'girl form' in combat, so, by the custom of my tribe, I was to marry him."
"And did you?"
"Heck, no! But, I am technically still engaged to him."
"And I bet it's going to be a long one."
"You bet. And what's your story, Mara?"
"Met Ranma in Paris, back when I started my modeling career," Vixen said. "He learned that I was of the Red, and taught me how to utilize my animal powers for combat, particularly the cat form. I never realized that 'relations' could be so intense with a male, until I met him."
"Nice."
All eyes turn towards Zatanna. Zatanna perks up.
"What? We're just friends."
"Sure you are…"
"Okay, I learned 'Sex Craft' from him, as a part of my overall magical studies, but that's the extent of it."
"Yeah, some excuse…"
Elsewhere…
"Can you believe the nerve of that…woman?" Psylocke said, as the telepathic assassin and her cousin Lara Croft, of the House of Croft, passes a television store, while doing their shopping at an exclusive department store in West London. They had stopped their shopping upon hearing the name of a mutual acquaintance.
"Trying to embarrass my godfather like that…"
Lara turns to look at her cousin. She had a past with Ranma and his wife, back when she was more of an archeologist than a "tomb raider"…
"But I bet you wish he wasn't, huh Betsy?" Lara said with a grin.
"A proper woman never kisses and tells, cousin."
Lara gives a knowing smile to her cousin.
"Okay, okay, yes…at times I wish he saw me as a woman, instead as a goddaughter."
"I see…"
"Wait a minute," Psylocke said, as she squints her eyes. She was so tempted to use her powers to glean Lara's thoughts.
"You didn't…?"
"As you say, a proper woman never kiss and tell, cousin."
"Why, you-!" Psylocke growls out of jealousy.
Elsewhere…
"Always the center of attention," Elektra said, as she continued to work on some legal work, at the usual spot at "Dazzler's". When she is not fighting the Hand as an assassin, she does legal work for low-income clients as a lawyer.
"What's up?" Dazzler said, as she continued to clean her bar, so she could be ready for the lunch rush. Since going into semi-retirement as a hero, she doubled her time as a club owner of a popular spot for the metahuman community, and as one of the heralds of Galactus.
Elektra points towards to hanging television screen.
"'Cat Nip'?" Dazzler said to her friend.
"The show's topic is about Ranma," Elektra said. "It's hard to believe that he and I have a history together…"
"Ah, the stud," Dazzler said wistfully. "I used to date him and his wife back during my 'Studio 54' days."
Elektra frowns.
"Hey, it WAS the 1970s, after all."
Meanwhile, back in the studio that hosts "Cat Nip"…
"It's not much to tell, really," Spider-Woman said. "It's an on-again, off-again situation."
"Well, I'm glad that you have said that, since we have another guest who also have had an intimate encounter with this stud. Jimmy?"
The picture of Tigra and Ronin making out appear on screen. This causes Spider-Woman to purse her lips.
"Tigra, please come out," Cat said, as she steps back.
"Ronin is MINE, you slut!" Tigra yowls, as she leaps at Spider-Woman, causing the crowd to roar with approval. And as the two begin fighting, Cat grins.
"Ah, nothing like a good 'cat fight' to spike the ratings," Cat said approvingly.
Meanwhile, down in the sewers of New York…
"Hey, awesome," John Cena said, as he, Tripple-H, four humanoid turtles and their rat-like master watched television while sitting on the couch.
"You know it!" Tripple-H said, as he and Cena performed a 'High-Five' clap.
SMACK!
"It's neat that my heroes appeared out of nowhere," Michelangelo said, as he scarfs down some pizza.
"Actually, I wonder how these guys managed to teleport," Raphael said, as he checked his instruments.
"Doesn't matter, as long a they chip in for food," Leonardo said.
"Hey, stop hogging the pizza, jerks!" Donatello yelled.
"Relax, we owe you one," Cena said.
"From the description, it sounds like 'Bunny' caused this," Master Splinter said. "For what purpose, I am not sure…"
"That girl you're talking about did sound annoyed," Cena said.
Just then, an attractive, young woman, dressed in a yellow jumpsuit, and carried a reporter's identification badge, enters the mutant turtle's lair.
"Guys, there's a big battle on top-" the woman began to say.
"We KNOW, April," Donatello said, as he thumbs the wrestlers.
"Huh," April said, as she folds her arms. "THIS I got to hear…"
And now, we return to our normally scheduled mayhem…
"I am more armored than you are, Saotome," Iron Patriot said. "And don't think that your beauty will distract me from pounding you into the ground."
Wonder Woman growled. She hated to have her present form used as a weapon against her ego.
"And with my enhanced suit, I will put you in your place…little girl."
With that, Iron Patriot stomps across the ruined landscape of the Avengers compound, and pulled his fist back.
Wonder Woman, at the last minute, side steps Iron Patriot, and trips the enhanced "mech suit".
TRIP!
"Hey-!" Iron Patriot said, as falls over, and into the Avengers monument.
CRASH!
"From my experience, size and strength has limitations," Wonder Woman said. "That suit of armor is overly powered, too."
"We'll see about that!" Iron Patriot said, as he gets up. He then activates his boosters to enhance his speed.
WHOOM!
Wonder Woman ducked and weaved, as Iron Patriot desperately tried to connect.
"Stay still, damn you!" Iron Patriot yelled, as a shoulder weapon pops up.
CLAK!
FWOOM!
Wonder Woman was about to dodge the volley of missiles, when suddenly-
"Is that Ranma?" Jade said, as she pops her head from behind the structure.
"Jade, no!" Jackie said.
'Oh, no!' Wonder Woman thought, as she poured on the speed to-
BOOM!
"Huh?" Jade said, as she looks up, as Jackie runs to comfort his niece.
"Hey, kiddo," Wonder Woman said with mirth, as she falls on her knees. Her back was seared by the blast, but the skin was still relatively intact.
Iron Patriot raises his fists.
"I win," Iron Patriot said, as he lowered his fists-
CHK!
"Huh?" Iron Patriot said, as he realized that Dark Moon had stopped him.
"It's over, Osborn," Dark Moon said. "Wonder Woman won."
"What do you mean?" Iron Patriot asked.
Dark Moon points a finger towards the street area, causing Iron Patriot to turn his head.
By the gate of the Avengers compound, reporters and spectators were present. It didn't take a genius to know that attacking Wonder Woman, after saving a child from a reckless act of a missile misfire, would not look good in the public eye.
"Damn," Iron Patriot said, as he backs off. He then turns to his team.
"Avengers, retreat," said Iron Patriot.
"But Osborn-" Hawkeye said, ignoring the fact that his body was marked with graffiti.
"I'm not repeating myself."
And with that, Iron Patriot flies away.
"Come on, let's go," Hawkeye said, as he helped Spider-Man, while Bia helped Ms. Marvel.
"Wait, we lost…again?" Sentry said, as he flew after his teammates.
"Well, that's that," Wonder Woman said. She then turns towards Dark Moon.
"You and I got to have a talk."
"Later," Dark Moon said, as she goes over to her Dark Scouts. "I promise the girls that I'd treat them to a day of shopping."
"Ooo, I want to go to 'Bloomingdales'!" Katzi said.
"Be seeing you. Dark…TELEPORT!"
FWOOSH!
And the Dark Scouts were gone.
"Ancestress, what are we going to do?" Thulka said.
"I don't know about you guys, but I'm hungry," Wonder Woman said, as she begins to walk away.
"Hey, Ranma, wait up!" Kamen Rider said, as he drives after his old friend.
"Me, too!" Miss Fantastic called out, as she followed her friends.
"Hey, don't forget us!" Sailor Hulk said, as she and Hulkling ran after Wonder Woman.
"Humph," Skaar said, as he sheaths his sword, before he and Thulka followed Wonder Woman.
Ten minutes later, Gray sits up.
"We lost…again?" Gray fumed, as he sees his Gamma Corp still unconscious and scattered about.
Tbc.