CHAPTER NINETEEN
A calloused hand slid down her side, pausing to massage her stomach briefly, then continued lower. Kit stretched languidly, and the hand slipped between her legs. A finger pushed between the folds of her labia, found her clitoris, and gently manipulated it in slow circles. She gasped as a bolt of pleasure shot through her body, then moaned when the same finger slipped inside her. Involuntarily, she spread her legs to give him better access, then began to rock her pelvis against his hand.
Teeth gently bit her earlobe, then trailed nipping kisses down her jaw to her chin, when he moved higher and took her mouth. His tongue slid between her lips and slowly stroked her own. Not even fully awake, the double assault ruined what little thoughts she had, leaving Kit with no other recourse except to writhe beneath him as the pleasure pushed her higher and higher, until—
He stopped, and she cried out in dismay. He laughed softly, pulled her legs apart farther and settled himself between them. She felt the large, blunt head of his penis press against her, then fingers parted her swollen, slick labia and he pushed his erection inside of her. She groaned at the feel of his hard, heavy length stretch and fill her, and she reached around to grasp his buttocks and pull him into herself faster. He laughed again, but ended it on a gasp when she tilted her pelvis and wrapped her legs around his hips, pulling him deeper into her core.
He withdrew, then thrust again, his moan of pleasure in concert with her own. Again and again, in and out, a slow, steady rhythm that sent wave after wave of pleasure rippling through them both. Kit's breath began to hitch, and he angled his hips and altered his strokes, making them shorter and faster. Her head thrashed against the pillow and her nails dug into his buttocks as she tried to pull him closer. Her pelvis ground against his, and finally, she climaxed; heavy, violent waves of extreme pleasure crashing over her one after the other.
He changed his rhythm again, this time to longer strokes that came faster and faster. He panted heavily, his muscles tensing and jaw clenching as he approached his own climax. Kit urged him on, feeling herself beginning to peak again. Her inner muscles gripped him in velvet steel, and she cried out when he thrust one last time, crushing her beneath him, as his penis shuddered inside her with his ejaculation.
Spent, he collapsed on top of her, his arms burrowing beneath her body to clasp him to her. His breath rasped in her ear, and Kit trembled with aftershock.
"Christ, I'll never get enough of you," he murmured.
Kit jolted out of a sound sleep and sat upright in bed. She was alone, the room wasn't one she was familiar with.
"Oh, God, tell me I didn't . . . "she trailed off as the previous night's events unfolded in her memory.
This was a complete disaster. What had she been thinking?
Well, actually, she hadn't been thinking. She'd operated wholly on instinct, and now she was totally screwed. She shifted on the bed, and winced at her muscles protesting. Figuratively and literally, it appeared.
Ignoring her soreness, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up. She paused for a moment while she regained her balance, then wrapped the sheet around herself.
First things first, she needed to get cleaned up. Bad enough she'd stayed out all night without telling anyone where she was going—not that they couldn't guess. Changer Island had a good-sized pack, but it was still a small, close-knit community, and she didn't need to add fuel to the fire by returning home reeking of sex and the Pack Beta.
She grabbed up her clothes and dashed into the bathroom and hastily scrubbed herself clean, then brushed her wet hair with Gerik's brush and pulled it back with a hair band. She pulled her clothes on, then returned to the bedroom to retrieve her shoes.
Wasn't only yesterday—correction, last night—when she'd told herself she needed to have a plan before confronting Gerik? But no, she had to just go and completely forget herself at the first mention of some ex-girlfriend sniffing around, and she lost her mind completely.
Seriously, what was wrong with her? How could she have thought that Gerik—whom everyone praised for his sensibleness and clear-head—would have gone back to someone who had humiliated him years ago?
"My own stupid insecurities," she muttered to herself as she tied the laces of her sneakers. She was so used to having anything good that came her way taken away that she'd come to believe that, in some way, it was deserved. Well, not actually deserved, more just her lot in life. So, as soon as she accepted the idea of a relationship with Gerik actually having some merit, along came one tiny little bump in the road, and she freaked.
Only this time, she didn't back off and surrender what she wanted, she fought for it when she shouldn't have needed to. Honestly, it was ridiculous.
And now she was going to have to go downstairs and face Gerik. After spending the night in his bed and—oh, God, had it been four times? She groaned with humiliation. This wasn't a quick roll in the grass with some male who was only interested in getting off; this was a male who was seriously interested in her on a long-term basis. You just didn't hop right into bed under those circumstances. And now he was going to make all these assumptions, and Kit wasn't sure how she was going to deal with it.
How did you explain yourself in a situation like this? Thanks for giving me more orgasms in one night then I've had in my entire life, but I think we need to take a step back and reevaluate the whole thing. That's okay, right?
Kit forced herself to stop and think. This might not be as bad as she thought—after all, she made assumptions the night before, and look what happened. Maybe it really was very simple, and all she needed to do was walk downstairs and lay her cards out on the table. She had to be prepared for his disappointment, of course, but she wasn't rejecting him outright. She just wanted to back up a bit. Was that so wrong?
If worse came to worse, she'd just take the advice her cousin gave her years ago and kick Gerik in the balls as hard as she could, and then run.
Gerik was leaning against the kitchen island, reading the paper and sipping coffee. He looked up as Kit came down the stairs and smiled warmly. Kit returned the smile, though with a bit more restraint, and sat on a stool opposite him. He noticed her reticence and turned to the counter.
"Coffee?" he asked. She replied in the affirmative and tried to quell her rising anxiety as she watched the muscles in his shoulders and back tense up.
"You'll be glad to know that Joanna was escorted off the island three hours ago," he said as he slid a mug in front of her. Kit squeezed her eyes shut and hoped her face wasn't as red as it felt.
"I'm really sorry about that," she replied. "I didn't break anything, did I? I'm not normally so out of control."
"No, everything's fine," he confirmed. She was glad to see the tension ease out of him, but worried that he assumed her hesitance stemmed solely from that, rather than her overall behavior of the night before.
"Elise called," he announced while pulling open the refrigerator and pulling a carton of eggs out. Kit's face flamed again.
"She did?" she said, her voice coming out in a squeak that she immediately hated herself for. He shot her an amused look.
"Yep. So did a few other people, including Alrik. I gather you didn't tell anyone where you were going?" She shook her head, and he chuckled. "They just wanted to make sure you were okay, and I said that as far as I knew, you were. And you are, aren't you?"
Kit bit her lip. "About that . . ."
He tensed again, but so slightly she wouldn't have noticed it if she hadn't been looking for it.
"I'm not accusing you of anything," she rushed out. "I knew exactly what I was doing. It's just that now, it's, um . . ." She took a deep breath. Time to get this over with. "I wasn't thinking. I let my insecurities take over and I . . . took advantage of you."
Gerik barked out a laugh and shook his head.
"Baby, if that's what you're worried about, let me assure you I was more than happy to be used by you," he said, grinning widely.
"I don't mean like that," she protested. "I've been thinking about this—about us—a lot recently, and I wanted to try, but not like this. Slower. It—God, we don't even know each other, and just to hop right into bed like that just because I got all worked up about something that wasn't even close to being true. I—I'm making a mess of this, aren't I?"
"Just a little one," Gerik said, holding his thumb and index finger together a space. "But I do take your meaning, and, quite frankly, we'd have been past this point weeks ago if I hadn't screwed it up first. So, consider us even in the 'who gets to fuck us up faster' race."
Kit smiled as she took a swallow of coffee, and he turned away from her to place a skillet on the stove.
"So, we can just back up and start over, then?" she asked as he pulled out a bowl and started cracking eggs into it.
"I think that the worst of what everyone imagined has happened, and since we're both still standing, they'll give us some space now to figure it out. That'll be a big help."
"You don't want me to move in with you right away, or anything, do you?"
He paused and looked thoughtful for a moment, then tossed the eggshell he was holding into the compost.
"No. No, I think you're right. That, of course, would be ideal, but it does still feel like early days."
"Besides, we hardly know each other," Kit repeated a bit ruefully. "I mean, physically we do, but the rest of it . . ."
"Well, I'd say you don't know me," he replied, "but I think I know you pretty well. Not all the little details of the ins and outs of you—not yet, anyway—but I am acquainted with a great deal of your history."
Kit's brow wrinkled in confusion. Part of her was offended he would make such a claim, but the majority of her was simply curious.
"What do you know, or think you know?" she challenged. He chuckled at her tone.
"Well, I know that back in Wolf Lake, your granddaddy tried to overthrow the leader at the time, and had damn near convinced most of the Pack to support him. And then, his daughter—whatshisname's mother. Slick piece of work."
"Tyler Creed?" she suggested.
"Yeah, that one. Anyway, she ratted her father out, and the Pack on his side abandoned him, and he was executed. And then, your father and his brothers, and all their children, you included, have been paying for it ever since. Relegated to the bottom of the heap, no matter what your potential is. Stepped on, pushed around, neglected. Abused."
Kit stilled as he held her gaze. "I know about what happened to you two years ago with that one male, and the fact that nobody did anything about it," he admitted soberly.
"He didn't actually rape me," she stated. "He just tried. Tyler stopped him and, in fact, almost killed him for it."
"Almost killed him? Well, good for him. What did Willard Cates do?" Kate dropped her gaze. "That's right. Some leader he turned out to be. Other Packs, it doesn't matter who the victim is, you just don't let something like that slide."
"Well, it happened," she said. "It's done, and—" she waved her hand in the direction of the staircase—"I'm fine. It's not going to happen again, and I refuse to dwell on it."
"Good for you. Anyway. The point is, I understand where you're coming from, and why you've reacted the way you have all along. Even last night. By the way, speaking of last night, I accept."
"Accept what?"
"Your proposal. You said I was yours, and I'm telling you I accept."
"But what about—"
"Oh, we can go as slow as you like. You're the female, you call the shots. But just so you know, a claim works both ways. If I'm yours, then you are mine. Best you remember that."
Kit rolled her eyes. "You're impossible," she declared, though without any heat. He chuckled.
"You might as well know that right up front, because I have no plans to change in any way."
Elise and Sarah were two of the first to show up for the division of the hunter's spoils. Elise was still wound up from Kit running off the night before, but more from indignation than anything else.
"I mean, what was she thinking?" the older female demanded for the umpteenth time. "We spent all that time and energy keeping Gerik away from her, and then she just throws herself in his arms."
Sarah merely shrugged in response, but privately was glad something had finally shaken loose between those two. The Kit and Gerik Show had been a pain in the ass to live with. If this had been Wolf Lake, Vivian Cates would have hauled the two of them up before her and forced them to have it out right then and there, nevermind that Gerik was an Alpha in his own right.
Alrik and Brianna had already arrived and were helping to organize the division of meat.
"Look who's here!" Brianna exclaimed cheerfully, put down a side of elk and wandered over. "It's the Mighty Rabbit Hunter. Are you really only being allowed to keep three and a half of them? That's kind of weird."
"Not really," Sarah said. "I mean, everything gets split up."
"Yeah, but half a rabbit? That's like, what, a snack?"
Sarah shrugged again. "If I really want more, there's plenty on the island. Isn't that the only thing we're allowed to hunt without any kind of restrictions?"
"Pretty much, but only because they breed like, you know. Rabbits. Anyway, I heard you also are entitled to quite a big share of the bear meat, and that you actually killed one all by yourself. Pretty impressive."
Sarah blushed. "That's not true," she refuted. "I just got its jugular and everyone else finished it off. Besides, the only reason I managed to hold on is because my teeth got stuck in its skin."
Brianna laughed at her embarrassment. "Oh, Sarah, that's hardly the worst thing that's ever happened on a hunt," she told her. "One time, Presley and I went with Luke and the guys, and Luke was leading us all after this huge elk. Well, we're almost on it, and then all the sudden Luke trips and falls straight into a pit trap, because we'd wound up in the Run. We just kept going and took it down. Didn't even notice Luke wasn't with us until we hear this, 'guys? Hello. Can somebody help me out here'?"
"That would never happen to Lucas Cates," Sarah protested, giggling in spite of her disbelief.
"Yes, it did, and it wasn't the first time with him, and I doubt it'll be the last. Stuff like that happens to everybody. Just be thankful the worst anyone can say of you is that you were so eager they had to pry your jaws loose for you. Next time, though, just flip. Your teeth receding will pull right out of the skin."
Sarah hadn't thought of that, and blushed again at the memory of her panic at getting caught by her own prey.
"Were you sorry to not go?" she asked, changing the subject. Brianna paused in thought before answering.
"Yeah, a little, I guess," she admitted. "Still, I ended up having a bunch of stuff to do, so it's probably a good thing that I stayed behind. Of course, I'm going to have to call my publisher and tell him the edits will be late, because I have to butcher a ton of meat." Brianna's gaze settled on Alrik, who was working through a checklist with another female. "Why does he have to be so good?"
"Oh, poor you," Sarah said. "Living with someone who's such a good provider." Brianna swatted her playfully on the arm.
"You'll catch up," she promised her. "So, anyway, enjoy yourself. I have to go finish piling up the meat. See you later."
Sarah watched her retreating back, and suddenly realized this was the first time Brianna had ever willingly spoken to her, and with more than just a degree of civility. She had teased her, but really, that's all it had been. There wasn't any nastiness in it. It was almost like they were . . . friends.
Smiling, she joined Elise and helped to set up a table for hot beverage. Imagine that, she thought. Bratty Brianna and Sarah the Pathetic Toad just might be friends.
Edith leaned against the wall while her parents put their names down for different cuts of meat too small to be evenly divided amongst the Pack. She half-listened while her mother exclaimed over various birds someone had caught, but the majority of her attention was on Sarah Hollander.
Stupid, pathetic, weak bitch. Everyone thinks she's such a hero. All she did was catch a bunch of stupid rabbits. Even I can do that. If I'd been on that bear hunt, I would have actually killed it by myself, not just held it down and let everyone else do the work.
"Edie, stop staring at her," her father hissed, causing her to jump. "You're in enough trouble as it is. Don't go asking for any more."
Burning with sullen resentment, she turned her back on the room and pretended to pay attention to what her parents were saying.
As far as she was concerned, the hunting trip had been one huge disappointment. She, Felix and Mark were supposed to show everyone how great they were, returning home triumphant with the fattest, richest kills.
Okay, so maybe that had been a fantasy, but it should have gone better than it did. They should have had more chances to show off their skills. Instead, they'd been relegated to the tails of the hunting packs, ordered to just observe and help out where they could. Mark did wind up with two elk he could claim a share in, but she and Felix were completely out of luck. Now, they had to rely on the generosity of the more successful.
Her mother tried to tell her that that was normal for a first hunt, especially for someone who'd only completed their Change two months ago.
"You haven't gotten used to your new abilities," she said. "Next time, you'll do better. You'll see."
"But next time for me won't be for another whole year or more!" Edith had protested. Her mother promised that her father would take them hunting some time later in the year, just the three of them, but she wasn't comforted.
As far as Edith was concerned, it had been one big plot on the part of Sarah Hollander. After all, wasn't she the one whom everybody said was such a screw-up? That she hadn't even been on the island more than a few days before she pissed everyone off?
And now, barely a month later, she was everyone's darling, while Edith had to spend every day with the Keeper, "brushing up" on things she already knew. Before the hunt, that's what Sarah had to do, and now she'd twisted it around and made everyone think that Edith was the one who didn't know how to behave.
Her father hadn't been nearly as kind as her mother when the Beta informed her parents about her "behavior" on the trip. What behavior? She'd acted just fine. Nevertheless, he claimed that, while she hadn't been outright disobedient, she hadn't paid attention to anyone, and had actually lost them a few kills because of it. Which was totally untrue! She didn't dare accuse the Beta of lying, even to herself, but everything was so confusing, it would be easy for him to misinterpret the facts.
And then he told them about Sarah, and that whole fight they'd had over her stupid luggage. Edith tried to explain that they were just looking, but her parents didn't want to listen. They had been appalled, and her father had been particularly angry with her. So angry that she'd been subject to an hour-long lecture about how she was supposed to treat others weaker than herself, that strength didn't mean she could do whatever she wanted, blah blah blah, and that she was, from now on, to stay as far away from Sarah Hollander as she could.
The whole thing was so unfair. Why should she go out of her way to be respectful to someone as useless as her? And who cared if Edith looked at her things? Big deal! It wasn't like she ruined them or anything.
Her father didn't care, though, and now she was grounded. Two whole weeks without television, or the Internet, or trips off the island. She was to stay at home and focus on her studies, and she absolutely wasn't allowed near Felix or Mark without supervision.
That was the worst part about the whole thing. She wasn't even allowed to see her friends! What gives?
Her father claimed they'd been a bad influence, and said she needed to get her head back on straight before they let her run around by herself again. He said she hadn't been like this before she flipped, and they'd assumed she wouldn't change so much that they had to hold her back until she got her feet under her. He sounded disappointed, as if she'd failed them somehow. Well, of course she'd changed! It was a big, life-altering thing, acquiring a second nature. No one stayed the same after that.
Didn't matter. She was barred from seeing her friends, and instead had to spend her time undergoing "refinement" by the Keeper, and that was that. End of discussion.
None of this would have happened to her if it hadn't been for Sarah. Somehow, that mealy-mouthed little female had done or said something to make Gerik turn against her. Gerik, who'd been her Pack's Beta long before they'd even heard of Sarah Hollander, who was just a reject from Wolf Lake, anyway.
Well, she'd show her. First opportunity she got, Edith would let that little bitch know that she couldn't just waltz into another Pack and make it jump to her tune with a snap of her fingers. She'd make her so sorry, she'd come crawling to Edith and beg her forgiveness for ever presuming to mess with her.
And then, maybe, she'd show a little mercy and forgive her. Maybe.
Later that afternoon, Sarah made her way down the rocky path to the shore. Kit had finally slunk home, and Elise kicked her out of the apartment so the two of them could have a long talk about how it wasn't such a nice thing to frighten the older female to death by disappearing in the middle of the night.
Sarah should have been helping Elise butcher and package the meat they'd gotten, but was more than happy to duck the storm brewing between the two other females. So, instead, she decided to work on strengthening her senses.
Her confidence had been bolstered by her success, small though it may have been compared to some of the other hunters. Even so, she felt that she did pretty good for someone who'd never even—how had the Keeper put it? Caught a frog for her dinner. Well, she'd done way more than that. So much better than anyone's expectations, including her own, that she felt it might be prudent to take advantage of her recent good luck and see what else she might succeed at.
She picked her way across the rock-strewn shore, until she came to a wide swath of beach that was mostly empty. She sat herself down on the sand and crossed her legs, her back resting against a boulder, and faced the sun. Closing her eyes, she reveled in the feel of it warming her face, and sighed happily as the breeze wafted the scents of the sea to her nose. After the constant activity of the past week, it was nice to be able to just sit and relax, and not worry about what she should be doing instead.
Well, she was working on something, wasn't she? But that wasn't exactly work. Not really. It was just . . . exploring. Playing around with her senses. And, it was nice to try it without the Keeper hovering over her, expecting her to fail at every step. By herself, if she failed, she failed, and there was nothing she could do about it except try again.
Except this time, she had a plan to help herself not fail. The idea had been suggested to her by Laura, who claimed to use the same technique with success, and Sarah though it sounded reasonable enough to try it without asking the Keeper first. He'd probably call it a crutch, but what was wrong with a little crutch to get her over the hump? Once she figured out how to listen to her skin and tongue this way, then she'd be able to work on it without any help at all. The problem with the Keeper, Sarah decided, was that he wanted everything done yesterday.
Sarah slathered some strongly-scented chap stick on the skin under her nose. If she couldn't detect anything with her nose but mint, then she'd be forced to rely on her other senses. In a similar vein, she tied a dark scarf around her eyes and snapped a pair of muffs she borrowed from Elise over her ears.
She leaned back against the boulder, rested her hands on her knees and relaxed. If anyone wandered by, they'd think she looked ridiculous, but she didn't care. Let them laugh; this wasn't about them.
She let her mouth drop open and sucked in a huge gasp of air, rolling it on her tongue before pulling it down into her lungs. She coughed and sputtered at first, but adjusted the amount of air she inhaled, and soon had a good rhythm going.
Let's see . . . salt. I definitely taste salt, but I'd knew it would be there, so that shouldn't count. I could be just making it up out of my own head. Hm . . . water. Definitely taste that, too, which is no surprise. But what does it taste like? Not nothing . . . cold, sharp. Invigorating. That's water. Not sweet or bitter or anything else. It just is . . .
Fish. Definitely taste fish. And . . . some kind of plant? Rot. Lots and lots of rot.
Something brushed against her leg, and she jumped in surprise. Lifting a corner of the scarf, she spied a crab scuttling away fast in the opposite direction. Shaking her head ruefully, she lowered the scarf and went back to concentrating.
The more time passed, the more she relaxed and really started to get into the whole exercise. Of course, there was no way to judge how accurate she was, but still she found herself enjoying drawing parallels between everyday things and the tastes and sensations she experienced. The sun felt like dried syrup on her skin. The taste of the sand around her was like pepper without the bite. On and on she went, inventing new descriptions for the things she'd never paid attention before.
Suddenly, her consciousness was plunged into a, a . . . she didn't know for certain. There was darkness, and the sensation of floating. She couldn't feel so much as the breeze against her skin; couldn't, in fact, even feel her body. Panic welled in her throat, but she forced herself to call down.
I've just fallen asleep. That's all. I just need to open my eyes and I'll wake up. So . . . open. Open your eyes, Sarah. Open your eyes!
Her eyes opened, but she was no longer on the beach of Changer Island. Instead, she was in a room crammed with furniture. Bunkbeds were pushed up against a wall, and two desks stood side-by-side across from them. A tatty, stained armchair sat next to a small refrigerator. The sound of traffic floated in from two windows covered with cheap curtains.
A young male was seated at one of the desks, and scribbled in a notebook as he paged through a textbook.
"Um, excuse me?" Sarah ventured. The male whipped around in his chair. "I'm really sorry to bother you, but I don't know how I got here."
"Who are you?" he demanded.
"I'm Sarah. Look, I was just sitting on a beach, and I closed my eyes, and the next thing I knew, I was here. Where is here?"
"Um, South Carolina," he told her, then crossed the room and stood in front of her. She leaned away from him when he reached up to touch her face. "Woah. I must have fallen asleep and not realized it."
"What's going on?" she demanded, panic rising in her.
"I think—but don't quote me on it, mind—I think you went for a Walk," he replied. "Most of the time it happens on purpose, but sometimes by accident. Where are you from, anyway?"
Sarah ignored the question. "How do I get back?" she asked. "I need to get back!"
"Calm down. It's easy. You just retrace your steps."
"But I don't know how I even got here in the first place," she protested. "I've never done this before."
"What, never?"
"No!"
"Oh. Well, um, give me a minute." He paced in front of her, deep in thought. Finally, he stopped. "Okay, so, close your eyes again—close 'em." She obliged. "Now, you're going to take a step back, and when you do, let yourself fall, and see yourself, in your head, falling out of the room and into blackness. And then, you just sort of let the current take you, and next think you know, just pop. Open your eyes for real and you're back."
Sarah nodded, and did as he suggested. She felt herself move backwards, and then she was falling, and rushing through the nothingness, until she suddenly felt herself rising up and up . . . and then she was crammed into a small space. She wiggled around and pushed herself into the nooks and crannies, making herself comfortable. The next thing she knew, there was a weird feeling like wax was cooling on her skin, and—
She ripped the scarf off her head, pulling the ear muffs with it. She was awake. For real, this time. She pinched herself to be sure, and let out a sigh of relief when the sharp pain registered immediately.
What a strange dream. She wondered if perhaps she'd gotten too much sun. She'd heard about that sort of thing happening, but never experienced it. Still, there was a first time for everything.
Something sharp hit the back of her head, and she plunged back into darkness.