An: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, in case you forgot.

Beta'd by LadyRip

Music: Cowboy Mouth, "Run to Me"

I took his hand and pulled myself up to stand. Edward floated to my side and began studying me. It was obvious that he was looking for injuries; his face was twisted with concern. His hands elicited a surge of emotion as he ran them down my arms. Jasper laughed behind his hand, and if I could have blushed, I would have.

"I'm fine, Edward. I just lost control." I smiled at him. "Jasper was much more gentle with me than I deserved. I'm more concerned about you."

"I've had worse." He shrugged.

"I'm so sorry. Are you sure that I didn't hurt you?" I ran my hands along his shoulders and back but couldn't feel anything out of place.

"Don't worry about it; you didn't hurt anyone."

"Thanks to Jasper." My heart sank. I couldn't figure out why I charged him.

Sam moved, and I lifted my head. He was still in wolf form, and his large brown eyes met mine from across his nose. I approached him slowly.

"I'm in control now, Sam. I'm sorry, this is... Well, it's a lot to get used to."

"He understands, but he prefers to speak through me for the time being." Edward spoke up from behind me. My eyes stung, and I gave Sam a half smile.

"When does this get easier?" I turned to Jasper.

"It's different for everyone. You need time. You're a newborn, Bella. This is to be expected."

"Be patient." Edward rested his arm on my shoulder and kissed my forehead. I breathed him in and steadied my nerves before turning back to Sam. He waited patiently for me to talk to him.

"There are more things to discuss." Edward's tone of voice changed, and he indicated that he was speaking for Sam.

I nodded.

"The pack and the tribe regret the circumstances that caused you to move away from La Push. We understand that you feel responsible for what happened; we also know that you felt unwelcome. You have endured enough. We have granted a one-time exception to the treaty to Esme Cullen, your creator. No action shall be brought against her for her transgression."

I breathed a sigh of relief, and Edward smiled at me. He had already known that war had been averted.

"We would also like to extend the treaty to you with some addendums. In honor of your relationship with Jacob and Billy Black, regardless of your status as a vampire, you will be permitted on our lands with pack supervision. In return, we ask that you remain with the Cullen family until you are able to control your actions and emotions, and that you limit your contact with Charlie Swan to phone and e-mail should you choose to maintain a relationship with him. You are also not permitted to return to the area until Carlisle Cullen has documented that you have shown sufficient control. It is our hope that you will gain control quickly and will refrain from injuring or feeding from any human. However, an exception will be made for any mistakes that you make for a three-year period, starting today."

I looked to Sam and then Embry in disbelief.

"No one blames you for anything that has happened, Bella." It was hard for me to believe that Edward spoke Sam's words and not his own. "We know that you would never intentionally put anyone in danger. It's time that you moved on."

I fought with my heart before speaking. It sat still and motionless like a rock in my chest. "Sam, Jacob was my fault, if I hadn't..."

"No," Sam barked while Edward translated. "Jacob, Seth, Brady, Paul... all of us made our choice to defend you regardless of how you came to be in trouble. If you had stayed instead of running perhaps we could have talked about this before. You are not responsible for our decisions, and if you had left or given yourself up, we would have fought anyway. We would have done that much for anyone."

"But Jake in the very least..."

"Bella, he knew before that night. Jacob Black always knew that you would never be completely his."

A tremor shook me, and I sat down on the forest floor. The cold realization that Jacob knowingly threw himself away for an eighteen-year-old girl who would never love him as much as he loved her dawned on me. I pulled my knees to my chest, and Jasper eyed me appraisingly. I shook my head to keep him from altering my emotions. My eyes stung, and I wanted to weep, but I was unable.

"Embry wants you to know that Jacob told him as much, days before the attack," Edward spoke in his own voice. He used a hushed tone and knelt down beside me. "He knew that no matter what, the best that he could hope for was to keep you alive and well. At first he thought that he could make you happy, but before the end he knew that it was a dream. You were too far-gone. He had already given up by the time you argued with him the morning of the battle. He was irritated and angry, and he regretted those words as soon as he left your tent, but he didn't know how to tell you."

"Why didn't you tell me?" My body trembled again.

"Bella?" Jasper asked.

"I'm in control," I sobbed.

"You shut down, Bells; we didn't know how hard you had taken his death until you destroyed his car, and by then you were near catatonic again. No one wanted a repeat of..."

Edward looked up, "It's fine Embry. I'll tell her."

"No one wanted a repeat of what happened when the Cullens left and Sam found you in the woods. We were afraid to bring it up, particularly the argument. I'm sorry that I didn't say something sooner, but you haven't returned anyone's phone calls other than Quil's in years. We thought that you had moved on." Embry took a careful step forward. "For my part, I am sorry." He bowed his large head.

"There's nothing to forgive, Embry."

"Then you need to afford yourself the same luxury."

"Are you blackmailing me into forgiving myself?"

"Would it work?"

"Probably not." I collected myself off of the ground and straightened my dress. "I will try to move on, Embry."

"Bells, if Jake were here, he would want you to be happy." Embry looked me in the eye. "Just remember that. He wanted you to have a chance to be happy again. So don't blow it."

I smiled, and Embry barked a laugh.

"We need to leave." Edward's voice shifted indicating that he was speaking for Sam. "Do you accept the treaty and the modifications as we've laid them out?"

"Yes."

"Then we will leave you to hunt in peace. Please visit when you are able." Sam and Embry gave me a nod before retreating the way that they came. Edward wrapped his arms around me as I watched my friends leave.

"Edward, Jasper, I'm -"

"Don't be," Jasper scoffed. "Your heart wasn't in attacking me. Face it, you're too tame, little sister."

"Do I have to add you to the backyard brawl list? I'm already planning on facing off with Emmett."

"Ooooooh, I do believe that I can handle anything you can dish out, little missy," Jasper teased. "But for now, we need to get you fed."

I looked to Edward, and he indicated for me to lead the way. We set off into the forest again but didn't make it far before he pulled me to a stop. Jasper and Emmett hadn't caught up with us, but I smelled something and instinctively went to follow it. Edward's head snapped up, and he sniffed the air. I turned to him, and he waved at me to go ahead. I let my instincts draw me to the smell. There were several distinct hearts beating, but I went for the closest. My mind barely registered what I was doing when I jumped onto a deer and knocked it to the ground and sank my teeth into its neck.

I looked up when I finished and found Jasper, Edward, and Emmett applauding me. Emmett gestured at his face, and I scrubbed the back of my hand across my mouth. It came back red. I looked down and inspected my dress; I was shocked to find it still mostly clean and hanging undisturbed around my body. There were a few smudges of dirt, but I suspected that they weren't from hunting.

"Not bad for your first try." Emmett smiled. "Let's see if we can find a bear." His eyes sparkled with excitement.

"I don't think that finding a bear will be necessary." Edward turned to his brother with his eyebrows raised.

"Oh, come on, Edward..." Emmett folded his hands in front of him.

"Bella does not need to take down a bear on her first hunt."

"But it'd be cool," Jasper sang.

"Jasper, you are not helping matters!"

"Do you think that I could really take down a bear?" I asked Emmett who nodded aggressively. "Well, let's go find one. I'm still thirsty."

"Bella!" Edward caught my hand.

"Jasper, can Alice take down a bear?" I appealed for help.

"Of course," he scoffed.

"I'm also bigger and stronger than Alice, right?" I grinned, and Edward gulped at my logic. Jasper gave a gentlemanly nod. "So, it would be logical to assume that I should be able to bag a bear, yes?"

"Heck yeah!" Emmett cheered.

"I think that you've been outvoted, love." I smiled sweetly and kissed Edwards smooth cheek. He leaned on a tree with his mouth agape like a fish.

"Ya know what, I kind of like the new and improved Bella." Emmett slapped his brother on the back. Jasper failed to conceal a chuckle, and Edward pulled himself together enough to shoot him a nasty look.

"Why don't you guys go on, and Edward and I will catch up with you?"

Fortunately Jasper took the hint. He practically dragged Emmett with him. I closed the distance between Edward and myself in a couple of hesitant strides. He still smelled like lilacs and honey. I breathed in and hummed involuntarily. When the others were out of earshot, I wrapped my arms around his neck and stared into his eyes.

"Hey," I tried to get his attention, but he dropped his eyes to the ground. I bent my knees to duck down into his eye line. "Edward?" I stood up slowly and crooked my index finger around his chin to bring his face up to look at me. "Is there a problem?"

"This is going to be a big adjustment." He mumbled.

"Adjustment?" I asked.

"I'm just not used to you being so independent, and strong, and graceful." He shook his head. "In some ways it's like you're back to who you were before I messed everything up but in other ways... I just don't know what to do."

"Listen, I know that our situation is somewhat less than ideal, but I thought that you wanted..." I took a breath, "I thought that you wanted this: the two of us, together for eternity..."

"Bella..." The way he said my name made my knees weak. "You don't understand. This is what I want. I'm relieved that we can be together now and I don't have to worry about hurting you and that you're never going to die again. That's not the problem -"

"Well, what is the problem, Edward, because you sure don't seem to be embracing this?" I let my temper get the better of me and kicked a dent into the tree next to me. It creaked in protest, and I got down on my knees to examine it. An almost perfectly foot-shaped dent marred the surface.

"It's just hard for me. You don't need me like you used to," he tried to explain.

"I don't need rescuing, but I still need you. I will always need you, Edward." I looked up from the dent and locked eyes with him. "If I thought otherwise, I wouldn't have asked Esme to bite me. It's not just that I didn't want to die. I wanted to be with you, to have more time with you. Now, we have nothing but time."

"And the desperate need to find you a bear." He crouched down next to me and held my face in his hands.

"I don't have to find a bear today if it makes you uncomfortable."

"Are you still thirsty?" He tilted our foreheads together. I felt like I could fall straight into him and never stop.

"Hmmmmm... I could be easily distracted." I winked.

"Bella, I might not be able to read your mind, but I can tell you that that is not going to happen here and now." He leaned away and released my face before he stood back up. I groaned and followed him.

"I don't see why not-"

"Well, we've only been back in each other's lives for a week. Don't you think that it's a bit too soon?" He arched a perfect eyebrow at me.

"Kill joy." I sighed. "I don't know how you do it..." Just standing near him made me want to find interesting ways of distracting him.

"Do what?"

"That perfect self-control of yours. For the record, I hate it." I folded my arms and stared at him.

"You think that my self-control is perfect?" His tone and stance changed. "You think that it's not hard for me." Edward advanced on me like a predator. It only took a moment for him to back me up against the tree. I closed my eyes briefly and savored his scent and the feel of the electrical current that pulsed around us. I felt rather than saw his hands rest on either side of my body. "It's taking all of the self-discipline that I've built up over the last hundred years to be a gentleman right now."

"What if I don't want you to be a gentleman?" I shivered.

"Oh, Bella, if I knew that you were saying that for a reason other than the fact that you're a newborn-"

"I wanted to before-"

"No, Bella, not like this." He let his cheek rest against mine. "Please just wait and we'll do things properly."

"Properly." I shook my head. "We're vampires, Edward. What do you mean by properly?" He sighed and pulled away. I had a moment to think before he gave me an answer, and my eyes snapped open with a realization. "The rules." I declared.

"What about the rules?" He looked suspicious.

"They weren't just about protecting me from your teeth and your venom." The idea was absurd, but it was the only explanation for his behavior. "You were concerned about your virtue." A weak laugh escaped from my lips. "I can't believe that I didn't see this before..." I let my head fall back into the tree. "All this time I thought that it was because I was a human, but that was just a convenient excuse!"

"Not entirely, and it's not my virtue I'm worried about woman. It's yours that concerns me." He crossed his arms and turned away.

"Really?"

"Yes, really." He exaggerated the words to mock my tone.

"What if I'm not concerned?" I tried to sneak up behind him, and he took a step to the side.

"Bella, some people would consider what I'm doing chivalrous or romantic."

"I'm not some people," I corrected him.

"I know." He groaned.

"So... in order for things to progress beyond kissing... you would want...?" I prompted him.

"Bella." He sighed.

"Edward," I insisted.

"I would want you to marry me, but we're obviously not at a point in our relationship where that can happen, are we?"

"Probably not... Although, I did just become a vampire for you so I think that that trumps marriage." I wrinkled my nose just a bit.

"Nice try."

"Ed-ward."

"Bel-la."

"You're not going to give in are you?" I leaned in to a tree.

"I've waited for a hundred years." He approached me again and leaned his head in dangerously close to mine. Our mouths were nearly touching. "I can wait however long we need to in order to do this right."

"I'm stronger than you."

"I'm saying no, Bella," he sighed, "not today."

I felt him relax slightly and I snaked one arm around his waist and the other over his shoulder into his hair. I smiled wickedly and pulled his mouth down the extra quarter of an inch to meet mine. Our mouths moved together, and a slow burn crept from my chest out to the rest of my body. I pulled him closer and tried to fuse our bodies together. I felt a rumble build in his chest, and I knew I was winning. His arms finally wrapped around my body, and he reciprocated by pulling me closer. I made a decision to try for more and forced his lips open. This was new territory because I had never been allowed this kind of access for my own safety. He allowed it now, and I had to focus to keep the smile on my face from ending the kiss. I pushed my mouth hard into his and explored him. Too soon, he pulled my arms away. I tried to fight, but he had moved my arms off of him and into an inconvenient position before I realized what was happening. He used my own force against his arms to push off and break his lips from mine.

"Enough." He held my arms out from my body at an awkward angle, and I fought with him. Logic followed that, being a newborn, I should be able to break his grip and pull him back to me. However, Edward was too knowledgeable for that. He knew how to move so that he had the maximum amount of leverage on my arms.

"Fine." I growled and ripped my arms down out of his grasp. I folded my arms and turned away before walking to the other side of the tree. I consciously knew that he wasn't rejecting me; the timing was just wrong. Edward was trying to be descent and give our relationship and us the time that we needed to grow into something stronger. Emotionally, it felt a lot like rejection only intensified because I was a vampire and every emotion was intense and difficult to control. He gave me a minute on my own before following me.

"I'm not refusing because I'm disinterested." He carefully placed a hand on my shoulder.

"I know." My chest shook.

"Look at me," he pleaded.

"I can't." If I turned and looked at him, my heart would break. I loved him. I wanted him in the worst possible way, but it seemed that his feelings weren't as strong. I attempted to reign in my train of thought because I knew that it was ridiculous, but I knew that I wasn't enough. I knew that I was terrible for using Jacob and that I had already received much more out of life than I deserved. There were too many second chances, and those had to come with a price. Perhaps this was it. I would spend forever in love with someone who loved me but not as strongly as I loved him. The parallel to my relationship with Jake didn't escape me, and I let out a bitter laugh. A gulp of air got caught in my chest, and I let it out in a pained gasp.

"No, you're going to listen to me, Bella." His other hand closed around the opposite shoulder. "I will say this as often as I need to but you are going to listen to it..." He tried to turn me around, and I locked my feet down into the ground. Whatever he had to say was sure to be painful. "You. Will. Listen. To. Me." He picked me up off of my feet and turned my body to face him. "I love you. I want you. You becoming a vampire hasn't changed that."

"Then why are you acting like this?" I momentarily stopped fighting him and let him pull my chin up so that he could see my eyes.

"I'm..." He started but then turned away for a second. A small ray of sunlight came through the canopy of leaves overhead and shined on his arm. The light refracted off of his skin. I slowly moved my palm into the beam of light and watched the same refraction on my own skin. He turned back and looked down at my hand.

"I'm waiting for us to be ready. You have to understand that physical intimacy changes a vampire, and you and I need to be emotionally healthy before we make that step. I want everything to be right when we do."

"If we do," I sighed.

"When. Please just be patient. I want everything to be right before we take the next step." He pulled me into a tight hug.

"You are aware that newborn vampires aren't exactly known for their patience, or their restraint..."

"Then let's just be thankful that our roles aren't reversed." He pulled back and smirked. "Now, let's go track down my brothers and find you a bear."

I slipped my hand into his and knew that this was the beginning of our lives together. This was how things should have been. We belonged side by side, hand in hand, as equals. I refused to delude myself into thinking that everything was going to be perfect because perfection doesn't exist. We were going to have to work through the pain, and it wouldn't be easy. However, we had all the time in the world to make things right again.