Chapter 20: What Have You Done?

Again, she found herself next to the hospital bed. Again, she found herself slipping her hand into the woman's before her.

Kimberlee Ann Possible, teen hero and crime fighter, squeezed Shego's limp hand, willing the woman to return the gesture. Her will was not enough, for the woman's hand remained limp, her touch unanswered. Sighing softly, she closed her eyes in a gesture she had become well-practiced in using against the tears, she leaned forward and put her mouth by the woman's ear. She hesitated before speaking and, unable to stop herself, kissed the woman's temple.

"Shego?" she whispered afterwards. "Shego can you hear me?"

The super villain stirred and flinched. Kim wasn't sure whether she was waking up until she felt the rewarding sensation of Shego tightening her hand in hers. Fighting for consciousness, the woman opened her eyes and squinted at her before sighing softly. Her thin mouth twisted into a weak smile.

"Was that... a kiss I felt Cupcake?" she queried weakly, pausing halfway through the sentence to take a steadying breath. "Or is it just some new... form of torment these painkillers are inflicting on me?"

Kim blushed and tried to stop herself from squirming. "It's the pain killers," she said. "Honestly Shego."

The woman had closed her eyes but opened one again to squint at the youth. "Of course," she said dryly. "How silly of me to think that..." Her eye closed again, her face contracting in pain. "I see you're in your mission clothes..." She paused and opened her eyes. "I'm surprised they let you in without donning the usual garb."

Kim swallowed and nodded as she squeezed the woman's hand. "I... yes," she said softly. "Wade called me about forty five minutes ago. He's found the source or... He's found where your power is being sent. Dr. Hong explained that to you, right?"

The woman made a weak gesture with her hand. "As much as she could," she said with a grunt. "My attention is... not what it used to be." She snorted and shook her head. "So, I take it you're going... after the bad guys huh?"

Kim nodded again. "That seems to be the quickest option," she said softly. "Wade's been trying to hack into their system but they're really tight. Which says something, I have to say. I have a lift that can have me there in an hour. I'll try and... sort this out myself." She could see that Shego was struggling to stay awake, none the less, the woman smiled slightly and winked at her.

"So you like a 'hands on' approach?"

She didn't know how to reply to that and just shook her head. "I have to do something Shego," she whispered fiercely. "Staying here in the hospital... Waiting... I can't do it anymore. I'll go and fix this, I promise."

She didn't like the sad light in Shego's eyes as the woman took a steadying breath and shook her head. "I won't keep you to that promise Princess," she whispered softly, her words shocking Kim into her mounting anger.

"Don't say that!" she hissed. "We'll fix this Shego, we're very close. We know what's wrong, now we just need to fix it. I'll fix it. I can do anything, remember?"

The super villain snorted softly and shook her head. "You'll grow up one day," she said softly. "Tell me... is Teryl involved?"

Kim shrugged and shook her head. "I don't know," she said truthfully. "It... doesn't look good for her, Shego. I won't lie to you." The woman didn't reply, but closed her eyes and turned her face away from her. Kim gripped her hand fiercely and carefully reached out to touch the woman's shoulder. "I'm not saying it is so," she said as her Kimmunicator bleeped twice. "That's my lift. Shego, listen to me. I'm not saying it's her... It could be anybody still at this stage. I have to go." Not knowing how to end the conversation, Kim tried to just step away but Shego gripped her hand without warning, pulling her back with her old strength and intensity.

"Kimmie," she said softly, turning her head back. "I have to tell you something..."
The teenager frowned at her but found her eyes locked with the woman's. Her blue eyes made her look kinder in a way, her face softer. Before she could speak though, Kim shook her head sharply and found herself placing her fingers over the woman's mouth.

"No, you don't," she said fiercely. "Not now. You can tell me when I get back."

Shego frowned and shook her head, pulling her mouth away from Kim's hands. "Listen to me, Cupcake," she tried again. "Let me tell you..."

Kim let go of her hand abruptly and stepped away. "No," she said again. "I know what you want to say and no. Keep your strength Shego, fight this. If what you want to tell me is still important when I come back, we can have this conversation."

The woman frowned and tried to sit up. "Kim," she started but flinched and fell back, exhausted by the small effort. "Kimberlee Ann, listen to me..."

Again, Kim shook her head and took another step back. "No Shego," she said. "Not now, I have to go."

She turned around and started to walk away as she heard Shego drop back with a frustrated sigh. She could feel the woman's eyes on her when she was almost by the door, causing her to hesitate. Turning around, Kim looked at her, hoping with all her heart that it wasn't for the last time. Shego's face was sad when she returned her gaze, her blue eyes filled with the regret of not being able to speak her mind. Kim bit her lip and, without exercising a lot of control over her own body, found herself moving back to the bed quickly. Before Shego could say anything, she took the woman's hand with her one hand and put her other on the woman's cheek. Not quite believing what she was doing, she leaned over and kissed her just beside her mouth.

"I'll see you when I get back," she said breathlessly, unable to look the woman in the eyes. "Good luck Shego."

Unable to wait for her reply, Kim fled the room as quickly as she could. None the less she didn't miss Shego's quiet, "Goodbye, Kim Possible," when she opened the door. Kim's heart pulled painfully in her chest but she tried to pretend that she didn't hear it and quickly shut the door behind her. She bit her lip and took a steadying breath as she leaned against it.

"I'll fix this," she whispered softly and looked up. Ron was standing at the end of the corridor in his mission clothes, waiting for her. His face had an unreadable look as he regarded her but, when she met his eyes, he smiled gently and nodded to say that he was ready. Kim smiled at him and started to walk when she caught a movement out of the corner of her eye. She frowned when she saw Dr. Director from Global Justice pull herself out of a ventilation shaft. She was not pleased to see the woman.

Three quarters of an hour ago Wade had called her to say that he had tracked the signal's path. The location was in a small town on the Canadian border and, with the right lift, only about half an hour's trip away from the hospital. Knowing that Global Justice had some of the fastest transport around, Kim had instructed Wade to call them immediately and organize a ride, thinking that they would leap to her aid. Half an hour ago Wade called her to say that her request had been denied with no explanation. Kim had tried to call Dr. Director directly, but the woman had been unavailable. Although Kim knew that the world's leading espionage organization was not at her beck and call, it had been very much unexpected and very vexing.

Walking quickly, Kim hoped that the Dr. Director had come to see how Shego was doing rather than to talk to her. She saw Ron's puzzled expression over her behaviour seconds before she felt a hand on her arm.

"Kimberlee, wait."

The teenager looked around to see the Dr. Director looking at her with a desperate expression on her face. "We have to talk."

Kim glared at her and tried to pull away. "I don't think so," she said tightly. "Global Justice made it very clear that they do not want to talk. So if you'll excuse me..."

Dr. Director held on tighter.

"Kim," she said sharply. "Just wait for one moment. You do not understand."

Kim yanked at her arm and glared up at the woman. "You're right," she hissed. "I don't understand. I thought that you would try and help Shego. I thought that you had enough honour to, despite the fact that she's a criminal, do – as I will – your best to save her. Not let her fall to her own twisted justice."

The older woman let out a soft breath and shook her head. "It's not like that," she said, still holding onto the teenager's arm. "Please Kim, listen to me. It was not my decision."

Kim hesitated, ceasing to pull against Dr. Director. "What do you mean?" she asked suspiciously. "You're the sole authority..." She was surprised when the woman shook her head sadly and gave her a hopeful look. With a sigh Kim nodded. "Five minutes," she said. "Now, what's this about? Why wouldn't Global Justice help me?"

Looking relieved, the woman pulled her to the one side and took a deep breath.

"It's not that we didn't want to," she said quickly. "You're just as an important a part of us as any of our agents Kim. You have helped us tremendously over the past few years..."

Kim held up her hand. "Spare me the flattery, who's your boss?"

Dr. Director sighed softly. "I don't have a boss exactly," she said. "Rather, like every globally big company we have a board of directors all in charge of his or her own section. I'm into espionage and fighting crime actively but there are several other divisions in Global Justice. I'm ashamed to admit that I don't know about half of them purely because I have never needed to. It's like... Getting your paperclips delivered to you. You take it for granted that they just appear, until that fateful day that they don't. Then, when you start digging, trying to figure out where your paperclips have gone to you suddenly find out that there's a whole division dedicated to distributing paperclips. You've never met or interacted, despite the fact that you work for the same company. Are you following me?"

The young woman frowned and gave Dr. Director a suspicious look. "You have a whole section dedicated to paperclips?"

The woman frowned back at her. "It was proverbially speaking," she said. "What I'm saying Kimberlee is that..." she sighed. "We can't help you heal Shego because... it would come in conflict with one of our outsourced divisions."

Kim felt her heart go cold and she couldn't help but take a step back. "So you're responsible for this?"

Dr. Director quickly shook her head. "No," she said. "But people who sometimes work with us on other projects are. I've never had any contact with them, I never even knew about them – it's more in General Director's division. This is not a part of Global Justice's projects, this is private, but we cannot compromise our relationship with the company by helping you."

The look Kim gave Dr. Director was one that suggested she was seeing her clearly for the first time. The woman sighed softly and tried to give the teenager a compassionate look but Kim shook her head and looked at the floor.

"So... I take it you can't help rebuild the dialysis machine either?" she queried.

The woman quickly shook her head. "I didn't say that," she said. "My scientists are working on it. Not doing that would be like pulling the trigger that kills her myself. I'm not like that Kim."

Kim bit her lip and shook her head. "You just can't drop me off to help me stop someone else who's pulling the trigger," she said coldly. "Fine, that's alright. I... I understand that you have no control over this." She sighed softly. "Just tell me, is Teryl Adamson involved?"

Dr. Director nodded slowly. "The company she works for specializes in making weapons," she said quietly. "She's like me, a head of one of their divisions. She... You have to be careful Kim. This company has precious little scruples. Making one teen hero disappear is not beyond them."

Kim sniffed and shook her head. "I don't care," she said. "I have to go. Besides, if they make me disappear then it would surely give you enough reason to go after them."

Dr. Director smiled slightly and shook her head. "I would rather not be put in that dilemma," she said. "Please, be careful Kimberlee."

Kim tried to smile in acknowledgement but instead found she was staring at Dr. Director with a painful ache in her heart. She turned around and started to walk away but felt the woman's hand on her shoulder. When she turned around to look at her she saw the Dr. Director's face was filled with concerned compassion.

"What is it?" she queried softly.

Kim sighed and shook her head. "I..." The ache clenched in her chest. "I'm very disappointed in you somehow."

Dr. Director raised an eyebrow. "Why?" she queried softly causing Kim to flinch and look at the ground.

"I thought you could do anything," she muttered to the floor. "Turns out, you're just like... the rest of them. You're helpless, a slave to circumstances and bureaucracy." She frowned then shrugged as if she tried to rid herself of the thought. "I guess Shego was right, I need to just grow up."

The woman with her could say nothing to that and watched helplessly as the teen hero sighed and turn around to leave without so much as a good bye. When she left with her side-kick Bette Director realized that she was unconsciously fingering her eye patch.

"We live in a cruel world Kimberlee Ann," she said softly and turned back so that she could look at Shego through the observation window. "But, it doesn't mean that you should loose the hope that you can change and do anything..."

&&&

Shego had been right about something else as well, Kim thought as she stared at the landscape underneath her. There were gray areas in the world. Dr. Director's revelation was proof of that. Society defined good and bad as they saw fit, opposing what ever force it suited them rather than how it helped other people. Maybe that's where criminals had it right, she thought quietly. They at least had the guts to openly choose a side. They embraced their dark side, choosing to walk in the gray. She was almost willing to admit now that maybe, just maybe they were people who choose to look at life from the right angle. That angle that dictated that nothing was fair and the best thing you could do was to get the odds in your favour.

She sighed softly and pinched the bridge of her nose, well aware of the fact that she hadn't had enough sleep the previous night. In a strangely third person like view of herself, she was worried that she wouldn't be at her peak efficiency to deal with what ever they would find. She sighed again and looked around the helicopter that they were in. Despite the noise of the engines, music boomed around them even louder. She put on her headset and tapped the communication system to life.

"Thank you for borrowing your father's helicopter for us, Darwin," she spoke to the pilot, a young man in his twenties with long blond hair and a tattoo of an orangutan on his neck. "I really appreciate it, especially on such short notice."

The young man smiled and gave her a thumb up sign from the front. "It's the least I can do after you saved my father from that pack of crazy naturalists," he said. "He would've loved to help you himself but he was in a meeting. He asks to be remembered to you though."

Kim smiled despite her mood and nodded. "I can hardly forget that day, much less your father," she said. "Thank you once again."

Darwin smiled and gave her another thumb's up sign before returning his attention to the sky in front of him. Kim settled down again when her attention caught the lyrics of a song that was booming through the helicopter's speaker system.

"Would you mind if I hurt you?
Understand that I need to
Wish that I had other choices
than to harm the one I love
What have you done now?
I, I've been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away... oh
Why, why does fate make us suffer?
There's a curse between us, between me and you..."

She shivered, and wondered how this Teryl Adamson could ever think to do this to the woman who had clearly loved her very much. Shego had said that she was bitter because of their breakup, but Kim found it hard to believe that anybody could be so mad that they were willing to kill their partner. Kim could understand why the woman would be mad though, Shego was clearly very special. She had never thought about it this way, but there were depths in the woman she had never considered.

Her stomach pulled into a tight knot when she realized that she was feeling a very strange warmth when she thought about her arch-nemesis. Ultimately, her mind returned to the one question she's been asking herself over and over.

If Shego's gay, and I find that I really like her, does that make me a lesbian as well?

She wondered if this was the way Shego felt when she first realized that she started liking Teryl Adamson. There's so much I want to ask her, Kim realized suddenly, picturing the sickly woman in the bed. I have to fix this...

She blinked suddenly to find a taco waved in front of her. She frowned to see that Rufus had perched himself on her knee and was waving the salsa dipped triangle at her. She frowned at him and then looked at Ron who had put on his helmet.

"Taco for your thoughts?" he queried.

Kim blinked and gave him a weak smile. "It's... Not worth that much Ron. But thank you," she took the taco from Rufus who grinned at her and scrambled back to Ron's pocket. "I'm just thinking about something Shego said."

Her side-kick raised an eyebrow and looked at her questioningly. "About what?" he queried interested.

Kim sighed and looked at the soggy taco. "I... just... I'm just wondering whether we're on the right side."

The look Ron gave her clearly stated that he thought she had lost her mind. "Of course," he said. "We're one of the good guys Kim. We kick bad guy but. We save the world. Of course we're on the right side. There is no other right side."

Kim frowned at her best friend and tried not to shake her head. "Where do you picture me in ten years Ron?" she queried suddenly, causing her friend's frown to deepen.

"Honestly?" he queried. "I'd say probably at the head of Global Justice." When he saw that it wasn't the answer she wanted he sighed and turned so that he could look at her more directly. "Truthfully, I don't think that far Kim. And, it doesn't matter. We are here now, in this moment, going out to save Shego. Who cares what happens tomorrow or the next day? We can't prepare for it. Life's not some test to which we can learn all the answers. Believe me, I've tried."

Looking at her friend in a strangely new light, Kim smiled slightly and passed the taco back to him. "Your thoughts deserve this one," she said. "I didn't know you're this deep Ron."

The young man smiled embarrassed and accepted her offer. "I'm not deep," he said after he finished off the taco. "I'm just use to not knowing any answers..."

&&&

And in a Top Secret Lab...

"So, how long has this been happening?"

Leanne looked at her boss and lover, trying hard not to appear concerned. "Security noticed it an hour or so ago," she said. "And we received a note from Global Justice warning us of an intrusion."

Professor Teryl Adamson looked up from a tissue sample she had been studying. "That's kind of them," she said dryly. "I presume it's Kim Possible?"

Leanne nodded, hugging her clipboard to her chest. "She should be here within the hour. Her team hasn't been able to crack our security system yet though."

The professor raised an eyebrow and looked back at the microscope. "One boy," she said thoughtfully. "It is just one boy, not a team. Wade Load, the prodigy of our time." Her lips tinned for a moment, and then she stood back smiling. "Tell security to drop the firewall."

Leanne was visibly startled. "Excuse me?"

Teryl's look was very sharp when she turned to her. "Are you questioning me?"

The other woman automatically shook her head but frowned worried. "I'm just... Why?"

Teryl smiled and stepped back, turning the rings on her fingers. "We've passed the ground test," she said. "We might as well try to run from here. If there's one person who knows how to deal with Shego, it's the little teen wonder. If we can't beat her, then this has all been for nothing."

&&&

AN: Here I am again, and within the month! I'm not sure what else to say really only to watch this space. With any luck, I'll have this story done before the year end. The song that I'm mentioning is Within Temptation's What have you done? It's an amazing song that you can easily find on you tube. I don't own its lyrics and do not intend to infringe any copy right with it. Thank you once again for all the reviews. It's an honour to know that I make people's day with this. I can tell you, you return the favour by just telling me that and reviewing. :)
Have a good day,
Alyssa

-;--

Oh, ps. Totally random: Ek sien daar is 'n paar Suid Afrikaners wat die ding lees. 'n hele paar! Gooi 'n lyn julle ouens, ek weet net van een van my maatjies wat hierdie lees.