Chapter 20: Give Me a Sign

Take this life

Empty inside

I'm already dead

I'll rise to fall again

9:27 Kingsway; 9:31 Dragon

The pyres still burned in Amaranthine.

The city had been saved. Miraculously, the Keep had, too. But the cost in lives and resources had been high. Death permeated the ground, the air, and the hearts of all who had survived.

With the city behind her, and Vigil's Keep on the horizon, Solona was not looking forward to what her duties entailed on this particular journey. She was to meet with Ferelden's new Commander of the Grey to personally oversee the funeral services of the Wardens who had perished. Among their numbers, and old friend.

"I'm told that the Warden-Commander has seen to your accommodations himself, Enchanter Solona," their guide mentioned casually, attempting to break the eerie silence that had fallen over the small group of travelers.

"Kissing the king's ass, more like," Kayal mentioned quietly from his place at her side. "Doesn't want the Wardens kicked out of their cozy castle."

"Vigil's Keep is only meant to be temporary," she reminded him, remembering the lost stronghold at Soldier's Peak. If time, and Aidan, allowed, she would happily return to make certain it was safe for habitation. The Wardens needed a home in Ferelden, not a consolation prize.

"Actually, that's something the commander wished to speak with you about," the warden added. "I know I don't have any say over my family's former estate, but his plan is a good one if Aidan will agree to it."

Nathaniel Howe. She had missed putting that piece of the puzzle together. His father was a complete ass, but so far the heir had proven to be an honorable young man. And as a friend to the king? Well, that certainly gave the new warden an advantage over his foreign comrades.

"What can you tell me about him? The Warden-Commander?"

"He's..." Nathaniel paused, searching for the right words. "Private. Reclusive,more like. A good soldier, and a good leader, but his past haunts him a great deal. Captain Straud is who we report to unofficially, but the commander knows exactly what's going on without having to be directly involved."

"And the Keep?"

Solona didn't really want to know the details, but it helped the time pass as the sun set and the lights from Vigil's Keep began to welcome them to the stronghold. Nathaniel's voice had a soothing quality, so unlike the edge his father's once held. And she had to admit, it was nice to get a perspective of the place from one who had grown up in it.

But her heart sank as they entered the Keep's courtyard. Three unlit pyres waited in the torchlight, and Solona reached absently for the comforting hand outstretched by Kayal.

"Enchanter Amell," called a heavily-accented voice approaching from the crowd. A mustachioed Orlesian in Warden blue armor bowed as she dismounted and gave a nod of acknowledgment. "The services will begin at moonrise, which should give you an hour to meet with the Commander to settle your accommodations."

"Warden-Captain Straud, I presume?" she inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, mademoiselle. My apologies. Would you like to first..."

Straud let the question hang, turning his gaze towards one of the pyres. Wiping an unexpected tear from the corner of her eye, Solona nodded.

"Say goodbye to an old friend?" she finished for him. "Very much so. My thanks to you."

It wasn't death that had her feet dragging across the cobbles to the body. It wasn't even the first friend she had lost in the past year. But Anders had been her first, and oldest, true companion.

His face was covered, as expected for respect. But something about the corpse struck Solona as wrong. She touched his hand, and the jolt of surprise had her staggering back into Kayal. As he steadied her from behind, he whispered, "What's wrong, Sol?"

"It's not Anders," she replied just as quietly, casting a suspicious gaze at the captain. He gave the slightest nod, then gestured for the mage and Templar to follow him.

"You knew," she hissed at Straud once they were inside and away from anyone who could overhear.

"Suspected. And now confirmed."

"But why all the cloak and dagger about his death and insisting I come out personally for the funeral rites?"

"Anders is a Grey Warden, Enchanter," Straud began, "and thus it is the responsibility of the Wardens to apprehend him for desertion. But as far as the secrecy in bringing you here?"

Straud stopped at a formidable door, which Solona assumed to be the Warden-Commander's office. The captain seemed sympathetic, and it was difficult to be angry with him. As the captain turned the handle, he bowed deeply before presenting them to his superior.

"I imagine, Madame Rutherford, that this was but only one surprise we expected you would find at Vigil's Keep."

As Straud backed away from the office, Solona had no doubt that he was correct. The man sitting at the desk had unkempt blond hair, several months' growth of beard on his chin, and an immeasurable amount of pain in his golden-brown eyes.

She wasn't usually prone to cursing, but Solona's words buried the sobs. Even faster than Kayal, the Warden-Commander rushed towards the mage and caught her as she collapsed in a heap of weeping.

He could do nothing except console his friend. He didn't have the words. Not in that moment.

"How?" she finally managed to ask, still not able to look at him for fear of the truth.

"Not a damned clue, Sol. Not. A damn. Clue."

It was maddening. Confusing. Terrifying.

Solona took a few moments to catch her breath, but the tears refused to stop. But she looked at him. And it truly was him.

"Alistair, you're supposed to be dead!"

"I know, Solona. Maker, I..." Taking a deep breath of his own, Warden-Commander Alistair Theirin exhaled his frustration and sent a silent prayer to whomever was listening.

"Marian's going to kill me when she finds out."

**Author's Note**

Umm...surprise?

Title and lyric credit: "Give Me a Sign" by Breaking Benjamin