Annoying Snape

Getting Over It

Getting over something you don't exactly want to get over, is very hard. Trying to pretend that something that's right in front of you isn't there, is very hard. Pretending that everything you have, may, or might have been through was never real, is very hard. Trying to get Spellotape residue off of your face, is very hard.

"This can't be safe," I muttered and pulled some more goo from my face. There was a knock on my door and I had a really good idea who it was going to be. "Yes?"

"Can I come in?" Ginny asked, sounding cautious.

"I'm sorry I was just about to go to sleep maybe if you come back in a couple years I'll be more talkative then," I said as the door swung open. She entered, her red hair hanging around her back and an unamused expression on her face.

"I understand you're angry," she said shortly.

"Ginny, angry people do not make voodoo dolls of the people that piss them off," I explained and plucked another pool of hardening goo from my face.

"Actually- What's all over your face?" she asked becoming distracted.

"Spellotape," I replied and yanked a piece. "Ouch!" I yelped as it took off some facial hair that really shouldn't have been there…Maybe I'm turning into a man…

Ginny winced and picked up a pair of tweezers. "May I?" she asked and I nodded once in defeat. "Thank you," she replied and plucked another blotch.

"Fuck!" I whimpered as fresh tears pricked my eyes.

"Why did you put Spellotape on your face? I don't think anyone does it anymore after some kid in Wales got his lips stuck together for an entire month. No one could understand what was wrong because the tape welds right over your lips and he couldn't get it off without some kid, Bobby Parker's magic. Very funny, not for poor Paulie, but for everyone else," Ginny said and took another layer of skin off of my face.

"It was that sadistic bastard," I snarled and tilted my face up towards the ceiling as she grabbed another patch of dried glue.

"So your meeting didn't go so well?" she asked.

"It did," I replied lightly. "I said 'Ol chap' before I ran off again."

"Why?" she asked, a small laugh breaking up her serious demeanor.

"I don't know," I answered honestly.

"You're like bipolar or something, aren't you?" she asked, another smile on her lips.

"There's a good chance that that's true," I said and cried out again. "Stop taking off my skin will ya?"

"It's caked on here! Maybe I should just rip your lips right off and transfigure new ones on-" she began with a smile.

"Once this is off, I'm putting Spellotape on his prick and seeing how he likes to pull it off," I snarled and Ginny burst into giggles.

"Can you imagine?" she asked, hysterical laughter shaking her entire body. "I don't think he'd like that very much. So what did you talk about?"

"Well he counted for a few minutes and I mumbled some stuff. He mentioned you, though," I said and she became intrigued.

"Oh yeah? What did he say?" she asked plucking some more glue.

"That besides me, you're the most annoying person he's ever met," I said, my teeth gritted as she attacked some more glue off of my face.

"Really?" she asked, sounding just as touch as I did when he said that. "I tried to annoy him as much as possible. So I talked about two of his least favorite things."

"Harry and James Potter?" I asked.

"No, you and Harry. I think you've taken James's place on his most hated list," Ginny said, her voice full of impressed awe.

"Really?" I asked picking me head up off the back of my neck. "You don't say? I feel as though I should get an award or something, you know?"

"I do," Ginny said seriously. "What would that even look like? A giant puss filled nostril? A dirty sock?"

"I want a cookie now," I complained.
"How did that remind you of a cookie?" Ginny asked, ceasing her plucking once again. I shrugged. "I heard sock and that kind of sounds like chalk which is what you write with on a black board, which sounds like when you're bored, and I make cookies when I'm bored."

There was no reply to my six degrees of cookie.

"I think the next dangerous task that's done, anywhere, should be right here in your head. There has to be something missing for all your weirdness to strain out. You're eccentric! That's the word I'm looking for, eccentric. Sure you're smart and everything but in a social situation you completely suck, literally. I mean maybe you have a tumor-" Ginny said.

"Maybe I just can't help it," I said, softly.

"Maybe," Ginny replied, her entire face becoming softer with either pity or understanding. I don't want anyone to pity me unless they'll buy my something because of it, so she better buy me something if it is pity.

"I think I love him," I whispered.

"I think you do," Ginny said. There was a moment's silence and she took a giant tug of the final patch of dried glue. I screamed so loud my throat hurt, I hopped around the room, swinging my fists at Ginny and throwing anything I could reach, straight at her face.

"Ow, ow, ow," I whimpered and held onto the skin that was smarting painfully.

"Sorry," Ginny said. She examined it and winced. "I think I got a beauty mark or something."

Annoying Snape

So Far So Good

"So far so good," I commented as we walked down the halls.

"Its seven in the morning and you are on the seventh floor," Ginny snapped grumpily. She hated having to wake early in order to have her breakfast. Snape is just being plain stubborn, if put simply. First of all, I know he likes to eat early because of what the sunlight does to him, and he knows I like to eat late, so what has he started doing? Taking his meals in bed early in the morning and then coming in during my time, because obviously he knows I hate to look at him.

"Yes, but see it means the plan is working. If it was doomed, he would have found some reason to come up here at this time-Get behind the armor!" I said and yanked her away from sight. Snape came around the corner and strode past us, not even looking back to acknowledge us.

"That was close," Ginny muttered.

"My plan is doomed," I moaned and dragged my feet back down the stairs to the Great Hall in order to have food that tasted gross so early in the morning.

"Mm," Ginny said sarcastically. "I love my citrus before sunrise."

"Then drink milk," I snapped, having no patience for her petty complaints so early in the morning. The only people who were up with us were the teachers and students who haven't been to sleep yet.

"Why are we up so early on a Saturday?" Ginny moaned and flung her head onto her arm. Sadly, her aim was off and she smacked it right down on the table. It gave a deafening thud. I continued to eat my bacon, my eyes still on her, not fazed by the smack. She came up to glare at me, an evil red lump forming over her eyes. It looked like she was growing a third eye. Or it looked like the angriest pimple ever.

"Wow Ginny, that's quite the lump growing out of your head…" I said, a small smile playing on my lips. Dozens of jokes flying through my head.

Ginny felt the lump, which had grown huge in the last minute, and gave an snarl at me. "There is an egg sized lump on my head! This is all your fault!"

"I didn't fling your head onto the table! You're the one who missed you arm and smacked into the wood!" I cried.

"If we didn't have to be up at the ass crack of dawn, my head would be all perfect and unbumpy!" she roared. "You know what I'm getting sick of?"

"Obviously not that sound of your own voice!" I bellowed back. I tossed my chair back and strode from the Great Hall, not looking back as she gave another annoyed shriek at me. I bumped into someone as I passed by. "Sorry," I muttered.

"Ten points for lack of caring," Snape sneered. I looked up at him, my temper already boiling over the edge. Just like that pot you weren't supposed to watch, so you didn't, and you went and painted your nails. Then of course, you forget all about it, and only get to it in time to see chicken broth spewing all over your stove making that angry hissing noise and ruining your burners. That stupid boiling over pot.

"Lack of uncaring, as if that's even an acceptable crime! If so, you'd be out of points for the entire school!" I snapped at him. He seemed generally shocked at my outburst. "In fact, the entire population of London would not have enough points if someone took them off for uncaring. You'd loose so much for uncaring that the entire world would be pointless! So…there!" I concluded, quite lamely and walked away from him. I wish there was a little button I could press that would stop me from doing something stupid. In fact, I wish someone would come and shove me into a wall before I did something stupid. No! Even better, I wish I just wouldn't do stupid shit.

I was walking down the hall, when someone stopped me roughly. I was spun around to face Snape, who seemed out of breath. Then he did it.

He took my face in his hands and held it for a while. I honestly didn't know what to do because he didn't seem like himself at that moment. So I just stood there, he had my face firmly in his hands, and waited. Then after a second he turned and walked away, a curt nod as his goodbye. He also kind of bumped roughly into me as he passed by. Whatever that was, was something you just stand there gaping about. You usually don't get over it until your first period, and even then you're still very confused.

"Are you alright?" Harry muttered to me during Transfiguration. I turned to him, the confused look still plastered all over my face. Instead of answering, I simply did what Snape did and took a hold of his face in my hand. "Hermione? What are you doing?" Harry asked, his voice slightly smushed from his face being all over the place.

"Exactly!" I cried and let go of him. "What would you do if someone did that to you?"

"I'm not sure I'm comfortable with you doing that," Harry replied, rubbing his face slightly. "What the hell was that!"

"I don't know! Someone just did that to me and I have no idea what to say!" I cried and Harry looked over at Ron, who dropped his rabbit.

"Don't look at me! I'm no face-grabber!" Ron snapped at Harry.

"Who grabbed your face?" Harry asked. I suddenly became flustered at his question. Am I just supposed to reply, 'Snape,' and see what they say? I could, but I wont.

"I don't remember," I lied and then suddenly became deaf of all they were saying. One, uneventful, hour later I spilled out of that room and slowly made my way down the hall to Potions. What am I supposed to say exactly? Well, I guess nothing. My life sucks more than a cheap whore.

So as I sat in the Face-grabber's class, I realized than everything he was saying just sped right out the other ear. All I could hear was his voice saying something like, 'You're the most annoying person I have ever had the misfortune to meet!' Normally that makes a person feel bad or make them become upset. It has the opposite effect on me because I understand that he actually means what he says. It take careful planning to pick someone out of a crowd and actually hate them. It's a lot of effort to annoy someone until they crack down and open their emotions to you. I don't have special tools to do it either, I have to use my smarts and my sex appeal, which I think I may be running out of because today I bent over to tie my shoe and no one, save for Malfoy, attempted to look down my shirt.

"…a rare opportunity," Snape said. What's a rare opportunity? "I'll only choose the best for this type of task." Choose the best for what? "Any questions?" Yeah, what the fuck are you talking about? Everyone shook their head no. "Good, get to work." On what?

"What," I cleared my throat. "Uh, what are we doing?" I muttered to Ron. He pointed to a page on his book and began to read ingredients. "I've already done this."

"Do it again. Snape's looking for someone to be his Apprentice," Harry hissed. "We don't know why he bothers to do it, though. It's obviously going to be down to you and Malfoy."

"Maybe I'll bomb this potion, then," I said, my voice wobbling with worry.

"It counts as two test grades," Ron snapped.

"Well that's bullshit," I burst out. The row in front of me turned around to glare and the row in back of me looked up to glare, everyone else didn't hear the interruption. "That's bullshit," I whispered.

"No," Harry said, still looking at me weirdly. "That's Snape."

"This sucks!" I whispered again, taking out my crap and beginning the stupid potion that I was obviously going to pass. A first year could make this! No, a muggle could make this! An idiotic, blind, muggle could make this!

"I can't do this," Ron snapped, angrily. He slammed more ingredients into the pot, which hissed it's anger at him, and began to spit the contents back out at him.

I stared at him incredulously and sifted through all my materials. This was the easiest potion I had ever had to make in my entire life! Like I said, only an idiot couldn't do it.

"Time," Snape called, looking up from his desk. Uh, oh…No one looked done. I myself had finished twenty minutes ago and was playing hangman with myself. So far Hermione-had twenty and Hermione-had eighteen. It was a close game but Hermione won in the end. "Bring your vials to the front of the class," Snape called boredly. I stood up, walked to the front of the class, and handed it to him, I was the only one. Snape didn't look surprised. "Is this all? Why am I not surprised that no one else even attempted to challenge their troll like brains? Well I guess Miss Granger will be my Apprentice."

Fuck.

Annoying Snape

Fuck!

God damn it! Fuck it to all the hells on earth! How did this happen to me? I was sitting there minding my own business, doing my assignment and I somehow become Snape's assistant! No, no. His apprentice. Fuck, fuck, fuck, god damn it, fuck!

"It might not be so bad," Ginny said, rolling another lock of hair around her wand, which heated up to serve as a curler. "Maybe he didn't know that was going to happen."

"He did it on purpose!" I cried and flung myself down on the bed. "He knew I wouldn't want to do it! He knew I would get upset over it! He also knew I wouldn't be able to say no! I NEED this on my application to any Ministry job, and what did he do? He fucking gave it to me! If I decline no other teacher will offer and if I accept it, no other teachers will offer! He knew it! He did it on purpose! Plus that assignment he gave! It was easy on purpose! It was from the first year book and everyone else was given something different! He did it on purpose!"

"Well maybe you heard the page wrong," Ginny said, not looking over at me. Instead she continued to do her hair for her date tonight. Ron was going out with Hannah Abbott and I was hanging myself in the bathroom…Oh shit….I've become Moaning Myrtle.

"I didn't hear it wrong, Ron pointed to it and I specifically turned to page 456," I snapped, moodily. I hate it when you're upset and people try and find any possible way to make it seem like it was your fault before they sympathize with you. I hate that.

"Maybe Ron pointed to the wrong page," Ginny said, once again she was making me so angry I was going to stick her hot wand right down her throat until her lungs light on fire and she can't breath!

"He didn't point to the wrong page, Ginny!" I spat, so angry I could barely control my anger at this moment. I was actually shaking with controlled rage. I strode over to the desk and flung the bottom drawer open. Inside was every textbook I had ever owned, even that damned Divination book that was immune to all forms of flames and spells. I shuffled through them until I came to the book I was looking for. "Here," I flung the book at her. She caught it and flipped through the pages.

"Simply Simple Potion," Ginny read slowly. She turned to me with wide eyes. "Why would Snape have you doing a first year potion? How did it get in your Seventh year book?"

"He bumped into me after he grabbed my face and must have placed it in my bag. He wanted to make sure that I would be the one who got the Apprenticeship…Smug bastard."

"Isn't that against the rules?" Ginny asked, doubtfully.

"No, I would have gotten it anyway. He just wanted to make sure that I did get it…" I said angrily. This means war. "I have a meeting with him this evening."

"What time?" Ginny asked.

"Twelve minutes," I replied with a small sigh. "I should get going."

"Probably," Ginny answered.

"Get out of my room," I said and she pouted and left.

I walked down the halls and carried my wand in my hands. What the hell am I going to do? I was desperately trying to stay away from this man and he makes it so much harder! I got to the door and knocked loudly.

"Please come in," Snape said. I stood rooted at the door in shock. Snape had never said the word, 'Please,' unless it was followed by 'Go crawl into a hole and die.'

I turned the knob and entered his rooms.

A/N Please read and review. This isn't my best chapter but I wanted to give you one because it's been a while. I'm have trouble with this story because I don't know when to end it or what I should do with it. Input would be amazing, flamers should just not reply because I don't care.