CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

The doctor left just before noon and Aunt Elizabeth returned to her bed, her face pale.

"Georgiana, you may as well take your trip out now," she said wearily. "I shall sleep for a while. There's no need for you to sit with me."

"Very well." Georgia left her aunt's room, her heart suddenly beginning to hammer again. She felt a little sick as she ordered the carriage to take her into the city, knowing she would go to the hotel and speak to Hank. She did her best to compose herself, thinking that whatever he said to her she was simply going to tell him he had had a wasted journey and that she wanted nothing more to do with him, but despite this she felt a foolish sense of hope and excitement.

The carriage journey took only fifteen minutes, but it seemed like an hour. Georgia requested the driver leave her close to the boutique where she had shopped the previous day, then as soon as the vehicle had disappeared from sight, she turned and walked purposefully towards the King's Hotel.

As she arrived outside, her heart thumped so loudly it seemed to echo inside her head and she paused for a moment, trying to pull herself together before she walked towards the door. A butler opened it for her as he saw her approaching and she nodded at him slightly and made her way through to the lounge.

There were perhaps a dozen people in the large room; couples relaxing over coffee, a family sitting by the window, two smart gentlemen reading newspapers. Georgia scanned the room twice, realising Hank was not there. The clock above the bar showed it was twelve forty-five so she wasn't particularly surprised. She had told him she would arrive at ten. She left the lounge and went to the lobby where the Maitre D' immediately approached her.

"Good afternoon, Madam, may I be of assistance?" he asked.

"I believe you have a guest here by the name of Hank Lawson," Georgia said.

"Mr Lawson was a guest here, yes, but I'm sorry to tell you he left at noon," the Maitre D' said.

"Oh!" Georgia's knees suddenly went weak and she prayed they would continue to hold her up. "Did he say where he was going?" she asked hopefully.

"He intended to return to his home in Colorado. One of our staff arranged a cab to take him to the railway station."

"Oh," Georgia said again, deflated. "Well, thank you for your help."

"Is there anything else I can do for you, Madam?" the Maitre D' asked her.

"No. Thank you. Good day." She turned and walked slowly out of the hotel. Once again fate had stepped in and perhaps it was just as well. She had only intended to tell Hank to leave her alone after all. For a brief moment she was tempted to look for a cab and ask it to drive her to the station to catch up with him before he left, but she knew he would be taking the train for Denver which left at one o'clock and there wasn't sufficient time to get there, assuming she could even find a cab. They seemed particularly scarce at that moment.

Stiffening her shoulders, Georgia turned in the direction of home and began to walk slowly along the street, trying not to let herself think about what might have been. There was no point to those thoughts; she had already decided not to let Hank back into her life.

During the next month Georgia began to think she had made a mistake by letting Hank go. He had come all the way to Boston to see her and to explain, so he had apparently still wanted her, but she hadn't given him a chance to say anything. If she had listened to him perhaps she could have left Boston again by now, instead of being trapped there with her aunt, growing more worried by the day.

She knew now she was expecting a baby; it couldn't be denied any longer. She had missed two monthlies and had begun to suffer sickness most mornings. Luckily with indoor plumbing and her aunt still sleeping downstairs it wasn't too difficult to keep her condition secret, although she knew Mary had started to suspect something was wrong and eventually the maid plucked up the courage to speak.

"Forgive me, Miss, if I speak out of turn," she began hesitantly. "I've noticed you've been unwell for some time. Might I suggest you visit a doctor? There is a new one on Bridge Street. He's not connected to our usual one in any way and does not treat anyone else in your family."

Georgia's head jerked up. "You know, don't you?" she said at once.

"I suspected, Miss. My sister has been in the same situation."

Georgia sighed heavily. "I don't know what to do," she said. "My aunt will be furious. One of her friend's daughters had the same trouble a few years ago and she was sent away somewhere until it was all over. I don't know what happened to the child, but she didn't keep it. I don't want that to happen to me."

"Have you spoken to the baby's father, Miss? If he marries you, then it would all be alright."

"No, I haven't spoken to him." Tears filled Georgia's eyes now. "I doubt he would want to marry me though. He never even said he loved me. It was mostly just wishful thinking on my part." She recalled that day when she had told Hank she loved him. He had responded by kissing her, but hadn't said the words back and he had never said them since. "You must be curious about who he is," she said.

"It's not my place to ask, Miss," Mary said quietly.

"You remember the man who came to the house that evening? He refused to leave until I spoke to him."

"Yes, I remember. I noticed he seemed very anxious."

"Well, that was my baby's father," Georgia said. "He was unkind to me before I left Colorado Springs. He said he wanted to explain, but I sent him away."

"If he came all this way to see you, then perhaps he felt bad," Mary reasoned. "If you spoke to him now, he might help you."

"I'm not sure," Georgia sighed. "I'd find it hard to trust him. He's not a very respectable sort of man. Everyone in Colorado Springs warned me about him and I didn't listen."

"There are men in my family who are not very respectable, Miss," Mary said with a smile. "One of them changed completely when he fell in love."

"I can't see Hank changing completely," Georgia said thoughtfully, although she was reminded that the way he had behaved with her had been nothing like what she'd been led to believe, except for those last few minutes before she left.

"Perhaps you should speak to your cousin, Dr Quinn," Mary suggested then. "I always thought her to be a very understanding lady. Perhaps you could go to visit her again for a few months."

"I never wanted to go back there," Georgia said. "I didn't want to see Hank again, but I suppose I will have to. It looks like it's the only choice I have. I'll have to make a decision soon, before it becomes obvious."

"How far along is it?" asked Mary.

"Between two and three months."

"Then I think, Miss, that you need to leave Boston before the next month passes," Mary said.

"Yes, you're right." Georgia reached out suddenly and squeezed the maid's hand. "Thank you, Mary. You won't mention this, will you? To any of the other staff?"

"Of course not, Miss. It's your private business. But anything I can do to help you, let me know and I'll do it."

Georgia nodded. "I'll speak to my aunt later about visiting Michaela again."

She did just that and Aunt Elizabeth wasn't in the least bit accommodating.

"You've barely been home five minutes. Why on earth would you want to go gallivanting back to that dreadful place again so soon?"

"I loved spending time with Michaela and Colleen and the others," she said. "I miss them and I would like to visit again."

"It's much too soon. Michaela and Sully are just married and settling into their new home; you'll only be a bother to them," Aunt Elizabeth said. "Perhaps you could visit in the fall if you're still intent on it."

Georgia's heart sank. Her aunt wouldn't budge and she decided to leave it for that day. At first she considered confiding her predicament to Rebecca, the eldest and most gentle of her cousins, but doubted even Rebecca would keep such a secret from her own mother. She felt completely isolated except for the small comfort of Mary who she felt was more a friend to her now than a servant.

The following week she decided to find out for certain if she would be welcome in Colorado Springs again and sent a telegram to Michaela, saying she was miserable and missed her cousin and her family and wished to visit again. She waited three hours in the telegraph office for the reply to come to avoid a message being delivered to the house. Michaela said that Georgia would be welcome at any time providing her aunt did not need her and was happy for her to visit again.

It was another two weeks before Georgia plucked up the courage to speak to her aunt a second time and her suggestion that she visit Michaela for 'a few weeks' was met with the same response as the previous request.

"I thought we had decided you would visit them in the fall," Aunt Elizabeth said.

"No, you suggested I visit in the fall if I still wanted to," said Georgia. "I would like to visit now, while the weather's still good there."

"Well, I'm sorry, Georgiana, but I need you here and I would rather you didn't go running off there again quite so soon anyway," her aunt said firmly. "You returned with a dreadful accent and unfortunate manner of clipping your words."

Georgia took a deep breath and summoned up some backbone before she spoke again. "Forgive me, Aunt," she began. "This is something I want to do. I am an adult and capable of making decisions for myself. I'm going to visit Michaela as soon as I can arrange a train ticket."

"Well, really!" Aunt Elizabeth huffed. "You've become just as stubborn as your cousin! What will I do without you?"

"The same as you do when I'm here, Aunt. Invite your friends for tea, have Rebecca and Marjorie and the others for dinners and keep the servants busy all day."

"Is there nothing I can say to change your mind?"

"No, I'm sorry, but there isn't. It's time I was in charge of my own life and for the moment, that is in Colorado Springs," Georgia said determinedly, her hands shaking.

"Hmm," was Aunt Elizabeth's only response to this, but she made no further protest, not even when Georgia returned from the railway station the following day to advise she had booked herself a ticket on the train leaving for Denver on Friday afternoon.

Despite Georgia's worry about her condition and about seeing Hank again, she found herself smiling for the first time in months as she took charge of her own destiny.