It was still dark when D'Tan came into Spock's office next morning. The first rays of the Romulan sun started then to spread their light over the calm lake that could be seen from the window. Spock stood there, his hand clasped on his back, still as he reflected; his thoughts were as dark as the sky outside, but his eyes only showed his concentration. D'Tan, however, looked worse than he had the previous night. He was wearing fresh clothes and had delicately trimmed his hair, but his face was pale and his eyes were heavy. Spock glanced at D'Tan when he entered, but none of them said a word. D'Tan slowly came towards his table, crossing through the different holographic projections that were displayed in the room. He dragged a chair next to him and sat, and after that, rested his head on his hand as he admitted, "I couldn't meditate last night."

Spock arched his eyebrow but remained attentively silent.

D'Tan massaged his temple, "I couldn't sleep either." He sighed. "The files you gave to me were really disturbing." He gritted his teeth, and pressed his hands into fists. "Did you watch it? The video?" D'Tan didn't wait for Spock's negative before continuing. "I knew that man, Gnell, from one of our groups, do you remember him?" He looked up at Spock, his eyes wet; his voice creaked. "I knew him, and others on the list, good people, good Romulans, and that bastard—" D'Tan punched the table, then immediately regretted his action, and covered the offending fit with his other hand. He avoided Spock's eyes, ashamed; he heard his voice in his head; "control", it said with his always leveled tone.

Spock's real voice overlapped the imagined one, "Your lapse of control is understandable," it said with a gentleness D'Tan hadn't expected.

D'Tan met his glance again, surprised but hopeful. "Is it?" he questioned; "I wish I could have your control; you always say we Romulans can attain that level of control too, but many times I can't even meditate! And I try hard." He only thought about it for a moment, and then he asked, "Would you help me meditate again today?"

Spock nodded, "I will," he hadn't forgotten the former point, though, so he continued," Romulans can attain the same level of control as Vulcans if they apply to it. You can do it, D'Tan, but for that, you will have to face first the source of your pain, the reason beneath your uncontrolled emotions." Spock said the words with such calm and conviction that it was difficult not to agree. "You always avoid them, D'Tan, when we meditate together. You will never progress until you solve that."

D'Tan gave Spock a long look; he wanted to scream at him, "It's very easy for you! You're Vulcan!" but he knew that was not fair. D'Tan had known Spock for many years, and even in spite of Spock's reserved nature, he had learnt much about the Federation ambassador; Spock had also struggled with his own inner conflicts, everybody did. So instead of yelling at him, D'Tan reflected about this, and found a haven of calmness even in his troubled state; then, he mirrored one of Spock's mannerisms and steeped his fingers before him. D'Tan had learnt a long time ago, when he was just a child and his parents taught him with secrecy the scarce knowledge they had of their Vulcan ancestors, that with calmness came enlightenment. And this way, a new thought came to his mind, and he said it aloud, "That's why you gave me those files last night," his voice was even, but his eyes sparkled and a sly smile formed in his lips.

Spock did not deny the accusation, "It was necessary."

D'Tan pointed a finger at Spock, abandoning the mimicking of his mentor, "I…"

"You think you are also guilty of what happened to those people," Spock completed for him.

D'Tan's look turned grim, he was offended. "I didn't tell you that. I did not share with you."

The Romulan read the smile at Spock's eyes and his frown deepened, this time in confusion. Spock also answered him, "I would never read your mind without your permission, D'Tan." A brief pause, as his friend relaxed. "It was a mere deduction."

"And am I not guilty?" D'Tan replied as he threw off his hands, and then nervously caressed his hair. "Koval is a criminal; he had been for decades. Don't you think that if the Senate had known of all his atrocities before they would have prosecuted him? They would." His hand slapped the table to reinforce his passionate argument. "And what did I do to expose him? Nothing! I sat idly while he demeaned our people!"

Spock crossed the room to stay nearer D'Tan; he locked his steady eyes on him and waited for the younger man to calm down. "D'Tan, think logically, could you seriously have done something to stop Koval?"

The Romulan gritted his teeth, "I could, Spock, that's the point."

"But you did not, why?"

D'Tan frowned, as he thought hard about it, then shook his head. "Do I really have to answer this?"

"Do you want to find inner calm?" Spock inquired instead.

"I just want to find enough calm to go to work today," D'Tan hardly smiled.

Spock ignored the man's attempt at humor, which was a way of taking a tangent from the point of discussion, and went back to the issue, "That is not the way of Surak."

D'Tan stood up from his chair and turned to go; he looked back at Spock. "I promise to focus on that later, really, but I have to go to work now, and I can't go in this state of mind. Please, Spock, help me to order my emotions now, and we will deal with the deeper issues later." A plea was also written in his eyes.

"Do you realize that you always tell me that same words?" Spock answered him, but as D'Tan went for the door, he followed him. "It is important that you face your troubles, D'Tan," he insisted, but again, he let the man go.