Chapter 20: "Sleepover"
The Voyager crew was assigned temporary quarters aboard the Enterprise. Once they were brought safely to Earth,the Enterprise would return to the Delta Quadrant for a year-long exploration.
"A family from Voyager has settled into the quarters next to us," Mother told me. "The Parises.
They have three children, a boy and two girls. You haven't met them yet, because they were the last to beam over right before Voyager was destroyed.
"So there were fifteen children on board Voyager," I commented.
"Yes. I'd like for you to introduce yourself to them. This could be the perfect opportunity for you to make friends with our neighbors."
"Can I come too?" Eric asked, abandoning the toy starship he had been playing with.
"I think Shannara should go alone the first time," Mother replied. "You and I will go over in a little while to meet them." She did not have to say that she wanted me to go first, because I had more difficulty making friends; we both understood it was the underlying reason.
Reluctantly, I stepped outside our quarters and walked toward our neighbor's quarters. I hesitated in front of their door. What if they didn't like me, because I was different? Other kids on the Enterprise made fun of my ridges. That's why I avoided them. I hated being Klingon! Why did Mother think the Parises would be any different?
Then when my special abilities had been discovered, and I had been offered private tutoring, the other children had envied me. I wished I were not different. I wished Q would take back his gift.. As a normal child, going to a regular classroom and interacting with other children every day, I might have been happy with life on a starship. Why me, Q? Why not some other child from another galaxy?
Taking a deep breath, I pressed my neighbor's annunciator. Maybe no one was home, I wished. I did not want to meet the Parises. I did not want to be ridiculed! If I turned back and rushed into my quarters, I might avoid an embarrassing moment.
I was surprised when a Klingon woman, holding a squirming toddler in her arms, answered.
"You're Klingon!" I blurted out. No, half-Klingon, I realized after I got a good look at her. Like me. That was why Mother had wanted me to meet this family in particular.
She smiled sweetly, despite my faux pas. "My mother was, yes. My father was human. I'm B'Elanna Paris. This is my youngest, Delta." She kissed the child on the forehead only to be batted away. "Who is very tired. Why don't you come inside, Shannara, and meet Jeremy and Sierra, my other two children." Delta began whining and rubbing at her eyes.
Immediately, I felt a rapport between us. She must have also had great difficulty accepting her Klingon heritage. Had she also suffered from ridicule as a child? How had she gotten past the pain and anger to become the woman before me?
As I stepped into her quarters, she called out for her other children. Although they were part Klingon, I could not completely shake the fear that they would not like me. With a Q intellect, I found it much easier to relate to adults than my peers.
"Where is your husband?" I asked, curious whether they had a happy family life.
She was startled by the question (it was a strange inquiry coming from a child), but quickly recovered. "Tom is with his best friend, Harry Kim. They're like a couple of kids. They could not resist the urge to check out the Enterprise's holodeck library. Tom thinks he's going to write this best-selling holonovel and he wants Harry to help him create the holo characters."
A girl, about four years old, stepped out of the bedroom. She had long blond hair and, other than the slight ridges along her forehead, did not look much like her mother. She hesitated to come near me, bringing her thumb up toward her mouth. "It's okay, Sierra. She wants to make friends with you," her mother coaxed. Not budging, the girl maintained her stare, her eyes mirroring my fears.
A boy, twice her size, zipped out and past his sister. There was no hesitation in his step. Perched on his shoulder, he had a small four-legged creature about the size of a squirrel. It had grey fur, pointy ears and long buck teeth. It chittered and began clawing playfully with his hair. I was impressed by his tolerance of the distraction. I sensed in him an eagerness to embrace the world. Like me, he had been cooped up on a starship his entire life and longed for every chance to explore. I was amazed that I could clearly read him and that his mood quickly softened mine. There was nothing to fear from this boy.
With a giggle, I met him partway across the living area. "Oh, he's so cute!" I exclaimed, reaching out to pet the creature. It darted across his head to perch on his other shoulder.
"Rascal's a bit timid," he said, extending a hand up to calm the creature. "That means he's afraid of strangers."
"I know what 'timid' means. I have a private tutor, Data. He's an android. He teaches me all sorts of words." I was boasting. No wonder none of the kids liked me. Maybe if I behaved more like a normal child, I could make a friend.
"Jeremy, why don't you show her some of your other pets?" his mother suggested, obviously trying to ease the awkwardness between us.
"You have other pets!" Very few people owned pets aboard the Enterprise.
His mother laughed heartily. "If he had his way, he'd own one of every non-sentient creature in the Delta Quadrant. I'm surprised the captain has let him bring aboard as many as she has."
I smiled at this. Captain Janeway had struck me as a woman who did not back down easily. She must have a great fondness for the boy.
"It was because of Jeremy's pets that we barely made it off Voyager."
"Sorry, Mom," the boy said as though it were the hundredth time he'd uttered the phrase. He gestured toward the bedroom door, indicating that I should follow him. "Come. I'll show you." As we stepped toward the bedroom, he explained, "I like pets because they are your friends no matter what. They depend completely on you." Gently, he removed Rascal from his shoulder to cradle the creature in his arms. The pet lay placid in his arms. Such tenderness. Such unconditional love.
"That's why I like my pet mice, too," I agreed. I thought about Sam and Al. They had become important to me. They depended on me completely. "But doesn't it get a little crowded if you have too many pets?" We entered his room and I marveled at the variety of animals from water faring to burrowing creatures. "How do you sleep at night?"
"I sleep just fine," he responded without further explanation. I watched as Jeremy took Rascal over to the cage closest to his bed and slipped the pet inside. Sitting down on the edge of his bed, he fed Rascal from a small bag on the floor. I giggled as it accepted the offering and pranced back and forth, scattering loose bedding.
I heard a yapping sound and turned around to face a cage in the corner with a blanket draped over it. I walked toward it raising a hand to lift the blanket.
"Don't!" Jeremy snapped, jumping up to pull me back. Staring into his dark eyes, I was momentarily overwhelmed by his fear. Only after he loosened his grip, I realized he was not afraid I might hurt his pet, but rather he was afraid it might hurt me. ""She's a nocturnal beast. She might nip at you if you try to play with her."
"Why do you have such a creature?"
He chuckled and his adorable dimples highlighted his enthusiasm. "If you want to know...if you're really curious, I have a lot of information in my data padd on all of my pets. I'm working on an encyclopedia of all the creatures in the Delta Quadrant."
I studied this boy. Other than family, I hadn't had any direct contact with another Klingon. As alien as that was for me, it dawned on me that Jeremy had had no contact with the Alpha Quadrant before now. The Delta Quadrant had been his home his entire life. Despite this, I felt an immediate harmony between us. Maybe he and I could become friends.
"Would you like to see some creatures from the Alpha Quadrant? I have a couple pet mice," I told him.
"Would I!" His excitement danced in the pupils of his eyes. "Now that we're in the Alpha Quadrant, I'll have to start a new encyclopedia for this quadrant."
I couldn't recall ever being this anxious to show anyone anything. My parents would be so pleased that I was finally making a friend!
We walked back to the living area and asked his mother for permission for me to show Jeremy my pet mice. After she eagerly shooed us on, we ran across the corridor to my quarters. I had never behaved this way before and it dawned on me that I was behaving like a normal eight-year old girl.
When we entered my quarters, I was disappointed that Mother was not around. How did I show her that I could make a friend if she wasn't around to watch? I tried not to let this disappointment slow me down as I lead Jeremy into my bedroom.
He knelt down in front of the cage to look directly at the two rodents. "Can we let them out? I'd like to pet one of them."
"Of course. They are very friendly." I walked up to unfasten the latch. "Surprisingly, many people during Earth's history were afraid of mice, and yet they can be very docile and affectionate pets." I slipped my hand into the cage, and Al placed a paw playfully on my finger. We both giggled as the rodent wiggled his pink nose. I lifted him out of the cage and he scurried across to Jeremy's welcoming arm. Amazingly, Al perched calmly on a stranger's shoulder. "He acts as though he knows you."
"Animals like me," Jeremy explained.
"I do too," I blurted out before realizing what I was saying. "I mean-"
He placed a hand on my shoulder and for a moment, I could not breathe. Then I realized he was merely offering Al a bridge to climb back to his master. Once my pet came to me, I returned him to his cage.
"Mom said I'm like a person who has a green thumb for plants only with animals instead."
"I wish I could get people to like me more," I admitted.
"I like you just fine." He shrugged. "You have to like yourself first." He sounded wise beyond his years. Although he had no empathic ability, he obviously related well to others. He probably had many friends.
"As soon as I figure out who I am, I'll decide whether I like myself." I laughed to lighten the mood. I didn't want him realizing the serious dilemma I faced.
"Well, I have to go," Jeremy said. "It was nice meeting you and hopefully we can spend more time together before we reach Earth." He left my bedroom.
I wanted to follow him, and beg him to stay longer, but I couldn't get my feet to move. What was wrong with me? Why was I suddenly so timid? I would never make a real friend if I didn't open up to people.
Mother and Eric returned a few minutes later, having gone to Grandma Lwaxana's quarters. Grandma had given Eric a new holographic board game. I suspected that the gift was a means to appease Eric since he had not been able to meet the Parises with me.
"How did your visit go, sunshine?" Mother asked me.
"Wonderful!" I beamed. "I didn't know they were part Klingon like me. Jeremy, the oldest, has about fifty pets!"
"Oh, I'm sure you're exaggerating. But I'm glad you had fun."
"It's no exaggeration. Just wait until you meet his mother. Ask her yourself. Jeremy Paris has fifty pets from the Delta Quadrant."
"Please, Mommy!" Eric was begging at the dinner table. He wanted to invite a couple of friends for a sleep over. It was bad enough having one four-year old boy around our quarters. What would I do if I had two or three more to contend with?
"Sleep overs are lots of fun, Deanna," Grandma said. She had invited herself over as she often did. "Remember the ones you used to have during the summers?"
"Yes, Mother, I remember them quite well." Mother smiled as she reflected on childhood friends. "Actually, I think it's a good idea," Mother looked in Father's direction as though half-expecting him to counter.
"As long as you plan to supervise, Deanna," Father said, implying that he would tolerate a few extra children around as long as some amount of control was maintained. Was there much chance of that? I wondered as I eyed my brother, who was leaning precariously in his chair. I couldn't believe Mother, Father, and Grandma were all in agreement. And about something I wished desperately to avoid!
The Voyager children have never before had any contact with the Alpha Quadrant," Mother continued. "It is their home now and they need to feel welcome." She turned toward me, and I sensed she was determined that Eric's "good idea" would become a family affair. I shook my head in protest, but she and Grandma began planning the next twenty-four hours of my life. Father listened, only adding input when Grandma's suggestions were a bit extravagant.
It wouldn't be too bad having Naomi Wildman over for a night. But why must Mother insist on Sierra Paris? The girl was half my age!
"Is this your first sleep over?" Naomi asked as we slipped into our nightgowns.
Already in her nightgown, Sierra was fascinated by my dollhouse and mesmerized by her own imaginary world.
For the last two hours since Naomi's arrival, we had played with Sam and Al, rearranged the tiny furniture in my dollhouse, and drawn pictures on data padds. Not only had Naomi not made fun of my doodling, but thoroughly enjoyed doodling herself. I wished I had met her a long time ago. That was impossible, of course, since she had been born in the Delta Quadrant.
"This is my first sleep over party," I admitted with embarrassment. I didn't want to tell her that I'd always had difficulty making friends. She might change her mind about being my friend.
"Mine too," Naomi said. Suddenly, I no longer felt tense. "Jeremy is the only one close to my age and he's a boy."
"There's lots of kids on board the Enterprise. I have trouble playing with them, though, because I don't go to regular school. Commander Data tutors me. I think of him as my best friend."
"Neelix is my best friend and he's an adult, too. For a long time, I was the only child on board Voyager. Jeremy isn't as old as he looks. You'll have to get him to explain that to you sometime. Anyway, Neelix has been my teacher, so in a way, our lives are very similar."
Moved by her speech, I said, "I wish you could stay aboard the Enterprise."
"Me too. I don't know if I'll like Earth. My father is going to be joining us there, though and I'm pretty excited about meeting him."
I glanced at my younger guest, who was still sitting in front of the dollhouse with her blanket over her lap and her thumb firmly affixed in her mouth. "Enough serious talk," I said. "Let's tell Sierra a bedtime story."
"Okay," Naomi agreed with some hesitation. We knelt down to sit beside Sierra. The little girl stared blankly at us. She hadn't spoken a word since her mother dropped her off. Some children were very shy, but I'd never met one as quiet as Sierra Paris.
"Can't she talk?"
"Yes, but she never says much, not even around her parents. The Doctor said she'll outgrow it, that she has some type of mental disorder called Asperger's syndrome. He's been treating her."
"Really? Wow! Let's put her in bed and tell her a story anyway. She might understand it."
Nodding, Naomi took the younger girl's hand and led her to the bed. We all climbed into my bed. "If you don't mind," Naomi began, "I'd like to tell a story that Neelix told me. It's a tale from his people, the Talaxians."
"Yes," I agreed enthusiastically, eager to have another culture to add to my literature database.
"In the Talaxian culture, they believe that when one dies they go to the Great Tree where they will meet the souls of the relatives who have passed on before them. This story is about an old man's journey and his dreams of reuniting with his wife, who died in a house fire."
I listened intently, trying not to cry during the sad parts. Mostly, I was fascinated by the genuine closeness Naomi felt toward this man from the Delta Quadrant. He seemed to be as much her mentor as Data was mine.
"Please, be my friend," I pleaded with her.
"Of course," she said and clutched my hand. "Is Commander Data your only friend aboard the Enterprise?"
"Well, there's Commander La Forge and Lieutenant Dekanter."
"They're all adults. Don't you have any friends your own age? You need a girlfriend, like me. I'll be your friend."
Sierra removed her thumb from her mouth. "Me too!" she piped up. Her first words this evening sent us into a fit of giggles.
We talked for a long while, swapping adventure stories. It was passed bedtime, but neither
Father nor Mother came to tell us to go to sleep. I told Naomi about my time with the Akodians and about tracking pocket wormholes. I was reluctant to tell her about Q. Why should I spoil this night by making her feel inferior?
First Sierra dropped off to sleep and then Naomi eventually followed. Although I should have been tired, I was unable to drift into the comforts of dreams. From out in the living area, I heard someone. Who was up at this hour? I carefully slipped out of the covers, climbed over Sierra without waking either of my guests, and stepped out to investigate.
Sitting on the sofa, playing the new holographic board game Grandma had gotten for Eric, was Jeremy Paris. As I sat in the chair across from him, he did not seem startled by my arrival. "Why are you up so late?" I asked. Hopefully, I didn't sound too demanding. I was delighted to find him awake. Having enjoyed our visit the other day, I was anxious to learn more about this boy.
"Couldn't sleep. Too crowded in the bed. Besides, I miss Rascal and my other pets. You?" His game ended and he set it on the coffee table.
"Same." I hesitated. "Naomi Wildman told me that you look older than you really are."
"It's true. I was born only five years ago, but I look eight. The Doctor says I have the mental capacity of an eight-year old, too, so my parents consider me that age. It's kind of complicated to explain, but these aliens granted my parents three wishes and they kind of wished me into existence and before they were done wishing, I was three years old. I don't really understand it all that well myself." He shrugged uncomfortably.
I slid out of the chair and onto my knees. "Could you teach me to play the game?"
"Sure. But I doubt you'll find it as exciting as leaping through pocket wormholes."
"If everything were that exciting, we'd have nothing to look forward to. Given a choice, I'd much rather live an ordinary life in a house instead of a starship."
"Really? You'd give up the adventures of discovering new races and new technologies for a house!" He paused. "What would this house look like? One or two stories? Would it have a fenced-in yard?"
I sensed his excitement was genuine. Perhaps a boy, who's life centered on a myriad of pets would also be happier on a planet where he could interact with nature.
"Two stories," I responded. "With a fenced-in yard so the pets could safely play. And on the kitchen table, there would be fresh roses cut from the garden."
"A garden would be nice. I've always liked the hydroponics bay on Voyager, but I'm sure a real one would be much nicer. If I ever have a real garden, I'll plant roses just for you."
"That's sweet," I said, lowering my eyes in embarrassment.
"I'm sorry. Do you not like that idea?"
"That's not it. I've never had such an offer."
He smiled. "It's my way of saying thank you for rescuing us. That was incredible what you did."
I didn't want hero worship. "I don't deserve all the credit. If it weren't for the Traveler, Janeway wouldn't have known to turn the ship around." Wanting to take the focus off myself, I eagerly embraced a transition in the subject. "My research on the Traveler has turned up little more information than that he comes from the planet Tau Alpha C on the far reaches of the Alpha Quadrant. What do you know about the Traveler?"
"Not a lot. My Mom and Dad have talked about him." He shrugged. "They have a lot of questions, too. Why are you interested in him?"
"I think he might be a Q."
Jeremy grew tense. Apparently, he did know about Q and was afraid of him. "So if you get your house," he said, eager to change the subject, "what planet would you choose to live on?"
"That's easy. I'd choose to live on Betazed with my Grandma. Betazoids are open about their telepathic abilities. Mind reading is acceptable and no one has anything to hide."
"I don't want others to read my thoughts," Jeremy said nervously. He reached for the game as a distraction and reset it. "You said you wanted me to teach you to play this game. Were you serious?"
Before I could respond, my parents stepped out of their bedroom having been awoken by our chatter. "What is going on?" Mother exclaimed. "You should be asleep."
"Shannara, come here!" Father ordered.
What had I done wrong? Why was I getting into trouble? Instead of listening, I look dumbfounded at my companion. He appeared as perplexed as I was.
Before I could snap out of my daze, Father briskly walked toward me and grabbed me by the arm. "Go to Eric's room," he ordered Jeremy. The boy snatched up the hologame and dashed into my brother's room. "You will come with us." He was forcing me toward their room and Mother followed quietly behind. He pointed at the bed with his free hand. "Sit!"
Seeing no way out, I took a spot at the foot of the bed. I did not look at Father. Why was he so angry with me?
"Why were you out of bed?" Father asked. I opened my mouth to answer, but he was already asking the next question. "Why were you with that boy?"
That boy! Father made it sound as though Jeremy were the enemy. "I thought you wanted me to make friends. We were only talking."
"During the middle of the night? In your pajamas?"
Mother stared quietly at us. It was difficult to sense what she was feeling.
"It is inappropriate to spend time with boys when you are undressed," Father continued.
Looking down at my lap, I traced the pattern of my nightgown with my finger. I hadn't intended to do anything wrong. I wanted Father to be proud of me, because finally, I was making a couple of friends. Made. Why would they want anything to do with me now? I was just a troublemaker.
When I looked back up at Mother, she finally said, "You didn't mean any trouble, Shannara." She turned to Father. "Worf, go easy on her. They're just children having a little innocent fun."
Father nodded slowly. "I am sorry I reacted rashly."
"Go to your own room, Shannara," Mother said. "Sleep."
I returned to my room and instead of slipping into bed, I sat on the floor in front of my dollhouse. I stared at the tiny family inside, sitting at their kitchen table where Naomi and I had left them earlier. I imagined a vase filled with fresh roses in the center of the table and I smiled between my tears.