-Livius-

I woke up and I felt like I was underwater for a long time. I could remember bits and pieces of being awake. When I really concentrated, I could remember being carried, people standing over me, the ground shaking under my body. Other than that, everything was a blur. My last complete memory was Celeste standing in front of me back at the Fort.

My lungs strained as I took a deep breath and I forced my eyes open. The ground was still shaking rapidly beneath me. There was a rough brown blanket two inches above my face, sunlight was leaking through the fabric. I looked around and I was surrounded by wooden boxes. I squinted my eyes at them and tried to read what the letters said, but I could only make out a bunch of "S's".

Even though my muscles felt like liquid, I found the strength to tear the blanket away. The sunlight caused me to recoil and smack my head on the edge of a box. It took a long time for my eyes to adjust, but when they did I noticed I was not on the ground. I was in a metal cart being pulled by two brahmin through the desert. My breath caught in my throat.

The battle. Did I miss it? Did I imagine the whole thing?

"He's awake!" Celeste was walking in time with the cart, a rag tied around her neck and her glasses coated with dust. "Stanley, let's take a break."

"Thought you'd never ask." From behind me, I could see the wiry man from outer Vegas bring the cart to a slow stop.

The cart stopped shaking, but my mind and stomach were working overtime. I had to concentrate hard just to continue breathing. I scooted back against the boxes and wrapped the blanket around my arms to protect them from the sun.

Celeste sat down against the edge of the cart and she was soon joined by a third person. He was a small man with short dark hair and oddly clean wasteland clothes. I couldn't help but feel that I've seen him somewhere before.

"Here." Celeste handed me a canteen. "You'll need it."

It felt like I've been years without water, the sun beating down on my neck didn't help. I finished the canteen as fast as I could without taking a break for air.

I still needed answers, but I didn't know how to ask. So I just stared at Celeste until she caught on.

"Oh." She cleared her throat. "Livius, this is Philippe. He was the head chef at the Ultra Luxe."

Philippe gave a small wave, barely looking up from his feet. We were no longer moving, but my nausea felt worse than it ever did before.

"Didn't he try to eat me?"

Philippe bowed his head further and Celeste shrugged.

"We have a common goal now. There will be no cannibalism on this trip."

Stanley trudged over to the back of the cart.

"We'll camp here, but we shouldn't overstay our welcome." He cupped his hand over his eyes and stared off into the desert. "Won't be long until this area is all NCR territory and we don't want to be here when that happens."

Celeste gestured to him. "Livius you remember Stanley, right?"

"Yes, but what's going on?"

She hopped off of the cart. "Stanley and I are drug dealers, Philippe is wanted for cannibalism, you're a legionary. We're all wanted by the NCR, so we're heading up north."

I clutched the blanket tighter. We were in the middle of the desert, but I still felt freezing.

"What about the battle? What happened to the legion?"

"Here's a hint, genius." Philippe snapped. "We're all running from the NCR."

Celeste stared down at her feet. "The war's over, the Legion lost. When the securitrons came rolling out of the bunker, there was little they could do to fight back. The battle was over before it started."

I felt like she just punched me in the gut. My breathing became harder and harder to control. I was going to be sick. No, this couldn't be true. She was lying to me.

Philippe turned to Celeste. "Looks like he's going to pass out again."

"Why?" My voice trembled with the rest of my body. "Why didn't you let me fight?"

"Because you would have died, Livius." Her fingers clenched around the empty canteen. "Did you hear me? You wouldn't have been able to make it out alive."

I was burning up and freezing at the same time. I looked up at the cloudless blue sky. They were travelling north, so that was all the information I needed to form a map in my head.

Flinging the blanket off of my shoulders, I bolted from the cart and began running south as fast as my weak legs could go.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Celeste screamed and began trailing after me.

"Let him go." Philippe called back. "He wants to die, let him."

The air was knocked out of my lungs when Celeste wrapped her arms around my torso. My legs were still flailing and kicking up the dirt around us.

"You have to let me go!" I tried my hardest to squirm out of her grasp, my eyes were stinging from the dust and tears. "If I can just make it back to Arizona…"

She held me tighter. "You can't run to Arizona from Nevada! I'm trying to save your life, dummy!"

"But my brothers! My men, they needed me!"

"It's too late for that!" She was practically screaming in my ear. "The legion had no chance. You had no chance!"

My breathing was becoming only heavier and more labored. Drawing my elbow back, I struck Celeste in the face as hard as I could.

She let go of me, her glasses clattered to the desert floor. I stood back, staring at her in disbelief. Her hand shook as she knelt down to pick her glasses back up. Her other hand was cupped over her face where a bruise was forming. Blood was trickling from her nose as well. She placed her glasses back on, one of the lenses was cracked. Her arguing stopped. She just stared at me for what felt like forever. I couldn't take it anymore. I turned away and ran from the group as fast as I could. She didn't stop me.

…

I didn't get very far. Night came too fast and my legs were still too weak. I curled up in front of some boulders and kept my eyes on the camp. They had a small fire going in front of the cart. I wanted that. The Mojave nights were cold and brutal. I only had a tank top and a pair of pants to shelter me from the weather. I don't know how I changed out of my armor, but I decided not to think about that.

My neck fell back and I looked up at the stars. They were invisible back in Vegas and I never had a chance to look at them at the Fort. Since I was on my back slowly freezing to death, I figured I had more than enough time to just watch.

Just when my eyes were starting to fall heavy, I felt a blanket being draped over me.

"Celeste?" I forced my eyes open to see Philippe standing there with a plate of food.

"Not quite. It's me, the one you didn't elbow in the face." He held the food out to me and I finally caught on how hungry I was.

"Thank you." I looked down at the piece of meat. It looked good and it felt like it's been forever since I had cooked food, but I was still unsure about eating it.

Philippe rolled his eyes. "It's just gecko."

I nodded and scarfed the meat down. It was better than I could have ever imagined. It tasted sharp, but still sweet with a light smokiness to it.

"That was amazing." I clawed at the plate, as if expecting more to appear.

"I didn't always have the luxury of cooking in fancy restaurants, you know. But I can make a gourmet-tasting meal just about anywhere." He said with a smug grin and gestured to the ground. "Mind if I sit? The others are talking about the drug trade and I don't want to listen to that."

I nodded and he sat down.

"At the risk of sounding uncivilized," He averted his eyes from mine. "I relate to you."

I tilted my head to the side. "What do you mean?"

He sighed. "You lost your home, your identity, and now you're vilified by everyone else. You were forced to abandon your destiny because someone else thought they could decide your path for you."

I couldn't bring myself to look at him. "So the NCR is after you too."

"Fucking Mortimer framed me for cannibalism to save his own ass." He held his head in his hands. "After everything he's done for me, after everything I've done for him…"

"I'm sorry." I wrapped the blanket tighter around my arms. "I don't know how I would have dealt with that." Caesar was a fair and just leader, he never would have done that to me.

He gave a weary sigh and waved his hand. "Whatever. I imagine you had it worse."

"What do you mean?"

"The whole Legion thing."

I frowned. "It's not that bad. I mean, it wasn't that bad."

Philippe smirked. "You kidding me? The crucifixions? The slavery? The unflattering uniforms? Actually, let's talk about those uniforms." He sat up straighter. "I mean they do great things for your legs, but everything else? Doesn't do your figure justice. You legion boys look like a bunch of triangles marching through the desert."

I almost laughed. "Well I could never be in the White Glove Society. I don't like cannibalism, especially after you tried to cook me."

He shrugged. "Shame, I think you could pull off one of those tuxedos."

"Thanks?"

"The mask would definitely help."

"...thanks."

"And besides," He hugged his knees to his chest. "You don't have to worry about me eating you. Well, you legionaries don't use drugs or alcohol, which would make you a better ingredient than the other two."

"Philippe…"

"But you do look very stringy."

"Philippe."

He looked back at me. "What? I said I'm not going to cook you."

"Okay."

"Unless we get desperate."

"Okay, we're done."

"If it's any consolation, I'll make you taste fantastic."

"Oh thank Mars, I was worried."

Philippe smirked at me. "So how about we move back to camp? I'm freezing my ass off here."

I looked back at the flickering fire. I craved that warmth, but there was no way I could face Celeste again.

"You know back in the legion, we'd use each other for warmth when it got cold. We didn't need fires."

Philippe stood up. "Absolutely not."

…

Celeste left to be by herself when I came back to camp. I like to think it was just a coincidence. I watched the smoke from the campfire trail up towards the night sky. A perfect way to signal any enemies in the area, but it was warm so I didn't mind too much. When Celeste and Stanley went back to discussing "business", Philippe and I couldn't do anything except have a short reading lesson.

"The fucking E is silent, dipshit." Philippe furiously rubbed his temples. "How many times do I have to explain this shit to you?"

I looked down at my notes. "Then why is it there?"

"How am I supposed to know? I didn't invent language."

I felt ashamed, but having Philippe scold me was a good way for me to keep my mind off of everything else. I reached into my pocket in the hopes of finding the reading notes Celeste made for me. My fingers found the edge of a crinkled piece of paper and I pulled it out, only to find something entirely different.

"It's Michael's note." I didn't mean to speak, but my voice came out anyway.

Philippe stared at me. "What?"

I know I told myself I wouldn't look at it until I was a better reader, but I couldn't help it. It was hard to keep my fingers still as I unfolded the note.

It took a long time for me to read it. I had to mouth some of the sounds out loud and I had to restart a lot. I even asked Philippe for help until he got frustrated and went to bed. After what felt like hours, I was able to make sense of what he wrote.

Are you happy here?

I held the note to my chest and I felt like I was choking. Blinking the tears out of my eyes, I looked around the camp. Two drug dealers and a cannibal. I didn't belong there. I was a loyal and honorable soldier. A soldier with no army. I was just as lost as the others.

The note fell from my fingers and I fell back against the ground. Twenty three years of my life, gone. It made me sick to think about but I couldn't stop. I wanted to go home, to my real home. Back where I could train with my brothers, sneak treats to the guard dogs, and not have to see the light from that city ever again.

I was choking back on my own tears, but I figured I could just blame the fire.

Was I happy here?

Does it really matter?

I'm still a legionary and legionaries aren't supposed to complain. My duty was to take orders and protect those I care for to my dying breath.

All I could do was hope I could do that right for a change.

-Celeste-

I remained near the edge of camp after Stanley left. The NCR's grasp on the north was weak at best. While we would have a lot of competition, there would be a lot of opportunity for business until the republic moved in.

Then what? Who knows. We didn't plan in advance.

I found a mirror stashed away with the rest of our supplies and I stared at my reflection in the cracked surface. The bruise on my cheek was as distinct as ever. There was a part of me that wanted to give Livius a matching one for doing this to me, but I couldn't blame him. It wasn't like I never had worse.

My fingers moved from the bruise to the scar, now completely covered by my hair. I grabbed my bangs and pulled them back to get a better look. I remember when I did everything I could to cover it up. I would feel sick just by looking at it. The stitches weren't going away, but there was a part of me that thought I could pretend that it never existed. Even though it consumed my mind at all times.

Benny was dead, the war was over, I'll never be hurt by him again. I still didn't feel safe, no one in the wasteland feels safe. Instead, I felt strong, even though I've been running from a lot of battles lately. I ran from the Enclave being overthrown. I ran from the raiders who killed my brother. I ran from the battle at the dam. This was a habit I needed to kick and I was going to begin by no longer running from my scars.

After a bit of fiddling, I removed my hearing aids and set them to the side, Using a straight razor and a less than steady hand, I began to hack away at the hair growing around the stitches. A pile of messy blonde hair began to form in front of me. It wasn't long until the hair on my head was nothing but a short fuzz, the row of stitches now protruding obviously around my temple. I felt sick seeing them so clearly, especially after months of trying to keep them covered up. But I did look kind of badass. Terrifying, but badass. I placed my hearing aids back in just in time to notice someone was standing in front of me.

"Why did you cut it?"

Livius was standing a few feet in front of me, his eyes locked on the hair pile on the ground.

"Figured it's time for a change." I ran my hand over my freshly-shorn head. "What's up?"

Livius was quiet for a long time. When he finally spoke up, his voice was quiet and shaking.

"I'm sorry."

My throat went dry and I sighed, gently touching my bruise,

"It's fine. Emotions were high."

Livius shook his head. "No, it's not fine. You're my squad. I shouldn't have betrayed your trust."

I moved the razor around in my hands. "I did a pretty shit thing to you, Livius. A shitty, selfish thing. I don't blame you."

"Will you just accept my apology?!"

I looked up at him. His head was down, his forehead resting in his hand.

"Okay. I'll accept your apology if you accept mine."

He took a deep breath and nodded, sitting down next to me.

"I'm just...scared." He rubbed his upper arms to keep warm. "Before I always had hope that I go home at some point. That's never going to happen so I don't know what to do."

"No one knows what's going to happen to us." I patted his shoulder. "But you'll be with us, so it's going to be okay."

"I don't want to be a drug dealer."

I couldn't help but chuckle. "I wouldn't trust you to handle the goods anyway."

"What's the plan anyway?"

I stared out towards the horizon, the mountains were just a stark black silhouette against the night sky.

"We're going to keep travelling north until we find civilization. With the help of Philippe, we're going to open a restaurant to act as a front for the drug trade. We do that until we get caught, then we move on to the next town. Rinse and repeat."

Livius tilted his head to the side. "But Philippe said he doesn't want to get involved with the drug trade."

"Which is why he doesn't have to know about this."

"Why are you selling drugs anyway? We can just open a restaurant."

"Well then what are Stanley and I supposed to do?"

Livius shrugged. "Servers?"

"No, that's what we have you for. You're better at taking orders."

My joke clearly went over his head.

"Whatever." I stood up. "Let's move back to camp before we freeze to death."

"Are you mad at me?"

I stopped and stared at him. "I should be asking you that question."

Livius took a moment to think, then he bowed his head.

"I don't know. I should be mad at you, but maybe I'm too tired to be."

"That's understandable." I helped him to his feet. "We'll make this work. We always do."

Philippe and Stanley were seated next to the radio when we returned. They looked up at us as we sat down beside the fire.

"Oh you missed it." Stanley shut the radio off. "They just released more information about the battle."

Livius's eyes widened. "What happened?"

Stanley waved his hand. "They'll probably repeat the same news segment in an hour."

"Just tell him." Philippe rubbed his temples. "I can't listen to anymore Mr. New Vegas."

"You westerners are spoiled. RNV totally beats east coast radio." I lowered my voice to a monotone drawl. "Greetings, dearest America. This is your president, John Henry Eden, here to remind you that you're not a true patriot until you jerk it to the national anthem every morning."

The guys just stared at me blankly.

I scoffed and waved my hand. "What a waste. If we were back east, you folks would be laughing…"

"Here's the abridged version:" Philippe turned to Livius. "Killer robots attacked the legion's main base, hard. Little chance of victory. By the time the survivors made it to the dam, it was too late. NCR wiped the floor with them. All of the high ranking officers were executed. Everyone else was captured. The NCR was talking about helping the captured legionaries reenter civilization under the republic, but you know how the NCR gets."

Livius's face was pale and it looked like he was going to pass out again.

"Kid?" I held my hand out in case he fell over.

He shook his head. "I'm fine. It's fine. Everything is fine."

Philippe stared at me. "Does he do this a lot?"

"He's not the only one here who was screwed over by the republic, Phil."

Philippe's jaw twitched. "Is there any chance of us going back to Vegas so I can stab Mortimer?"

"I'm sure we can fit it into our schedule."

"You don't have to worry about me." Livius held his head up straighter. "This means I'll just have to fight harder for my new squad."

"That's what I like to hear, kid." Stanley gave a thumbs up. "We'll definitely need someone to fight off any NCR soldiers who give us trouble."

Livius crossed his arms. "Just so you know, I'm defending you guys. Not the drugs."

"Sure, kid."

After we put the fire out, we all got our bedrolls set up. Livius was still standing near the edge of camp.

"I'm keeping watch." He held his rifle closer to his chest. "I got enough sleep."

I sighed and stood next to him. "You don't have to defend us 24/7. Take some time to take care of yourself."

He shrugged. "I don't want to mess up this time."

"You're not going to mess up." I patted his back. "And if you do, so what? I made a lot of mistakes in my life."

"No offence, but you're not exactly my idol."

"No offence taken."

Livius smiled. "I do owe you my life, I'll give you that."

I grinned back at him. "So, you ready to travel through the desert with me once more?"

"Well it's not like I have a choice." He laughed. "But it will be an honor."

I clapped him on the back. "Take care of yourself."

He stared down at his feet and nodded.

"I'll do my best."

…

The desert wind whipped around my shaved head as we continued on. The cart bumped and rocked against the harsh desert ground. The two brahmin pulling the cart (who I named Brunhilda and Steve) trudged on. The city of Vegas was now a distant memory. We had no set destination, no concrete plan. But I wasn't worried. Crazy shit happens in the wasteland, I've seen a lot of it first hand. There isn't much that can surprise me anymore.

There is something strangely comforting about that.

…

End of Chips & Chances