Chapter 20: Don't go to Australia if you have a Death Enchantress with you. Or Florida…or anywhere really…but especially Australia. Especially is roughly half of your fighters are struggling with new powers.

It turned out Chloe was prepared for a hike. They got in a car, drove for a few hours, and started hiking.

"So…" Kagami looked to where Kelly was creating a bow and arrows for himself, and created a blowtorch for Kagami herself, "Are the stone wielders invincible? Or can something kill them?"

"Yeah." Kelly replied, "Spears of Gungnir can kill anything, and then the auto-kill."

"Could the spears kill Iku?" Joselyn asked. Kelly nodded, and she threw her hands out, "Just do it!" Psychic Jared picked her up so they were at eye level. His gaze made her shrink a little,

"What did we say about being suicidal?"

Joselyn sighed, "Focus on getting better, don't ask for deadly weapons to be used on you." He nodded and put her down. Quantic Jared was looking at Kelly in terror,

"Auto-kill?!" Kelly nodded,

"Yeah. It's used to protect the wielders, because the Death can only revive them if they themselves did the killing. And it's also used as a punishment if the wielder's sanity goes off the deep end." Psychic Jared nodded,

"That…actually makes sense. But Freya is the only one who could do that to me, and only whoever's stone Chipmunk has can do it to him, right?"

"Wrong." Zoe replied, "A strong enough mage could do it. I actually know how to do it." All three stone wielders had a look of shock on their faces. Kelly groaned,

"Zoe…I told you about that when you were four. Why do you remember that?" Zoe shrugged,

"Well you are the one who wiped the memory of my powers, so it's in my more recent memory ever since it came back. But yeah, I could kill both of you." She gestured to the Jareds. One glared, and the other panicked. Guess which one did which.

Kagami frowned, "How does the auto-kill work?" Chloe's interest peaked, and Gizmo was listening in intently, though she was gathering fruit while in a tree.

"You see," Kelly explained, "Every magical creature has an internal fire. If you feed the fire, it gets bigger. This can cause a burnout if you feed it too much, which can kill people. Too strong a burnout can literally burn through the body. There are ways to prevent a burnout—such as diving into the well of magic for days on end before using an insane amount—or years of practice. Had I annihilated millions of enemies like I did during the war…if I had done that when I was fifteen, first of all it wouldn't have happened, and I would have burned straight through my body from the effort."

"So does the auto-kill cause the burning?"

"No. Actually the opposite." He held his hand out and an illusion of a man appeared in his palm. There was a flame inside him, "The fire can be dangerous, but is also crucial to the survival of a magic wielder. However, a stone wielder can have their fire snuffed out." The fire went out and the man lost all color in his skin, eyes, and hair, "Losing that fire kills or freezes the cells in the body, and can either cause an instant or an excruciating death."

Quantic Jared's expression was one of pure fright, "I don't wanna die!"

"And you won't." Zoe assured, "Just don't go batshit crazy. I promise I won't abuse my ability to murder you."

"Okay…"

Psychic Jared was looked around, "Where's Joselyn?"

"Up there." Gizmo pointed to the top of the tree, where Joselyn was clinging to a branch, "She said that last time you discussed fatal weaknesses in her presence, Iku put you in a coma for a year."

"Can you get her down?" Chloe asked, "That looks dangerous."

Zoe chuckled, "It's Australia. Everything's dangerous. Why do you think this place was originally used as a prison? The British would have used this place for the good people, but everything that isn't you wants to kill you."

"Fireman Gizmo to the rescue!" Zoe narrowed her eyes as Gizmo climbed the tree with her hair,

"Anyone who's played Danganronpa suddenly imagined Gizmo ramming into Joselyn with a firetruck."

Gizmo climbed the tree and grabbed Joselyn in her hair, plopping down on the ground,

"When this is all over, can I run tests on your hair?" Quantic Jared asked, "You just proved it can support you and another person without strain." Gizmo nodded eagerly,

"Awesome! My goal in life is to find a way to wash this hair without it being a massive pain in my fucking ass." Zoe narrowed her eyes,

"Gizmo, stick to one personality." Gizmo groaned,

"Fine." She brightened, going back to the science kid persona, "Yeah, I'm dragging seven feet of hair behind me that grows constantly. I can't cut it—it's literally indestructible, I've tried—so washing it really truly sucks." She frowned when she saw everyone gaping. She turned and screamed.

A cassowary was standing a few feet away.

There are three species of cassowary, all of which are native to Australasia. These birds are potentially dangerous and should be treated with caution and respect, should you encounter one in the wild.

Her analytical superpower—that she didn't know she had—told her this was a Southern Cassowary, which could be seen from the height alone (6 ft 6 in, meaning this fucker was taller than Jared).

As they cannot fly away from a fight, cassowaries had adapted to use their casque and claw to protect themselves and stand their ground. In a fight they will stand as tall as possible, ruffle their feathers and hiss, and lower their head to show off their casque before attacking. Not only do they make use of the casque, but their middle claw acts like a dagger, standing at 12 centimeters in length, and can cause serious damage—it's quite capable of killing a dog, and likely a scrawny child like herself or Joselyn.

While cassowaries were certainly equipped to kill, they did not seek out trouble. Quite the contrary: like most animals, these birds would much rather avoid conflict, only choosing fight over flight—regardless of being a flightless bird, so technically it's fight or run—as a last resort if they feel their lives or those of their young are endangered. Despite its reputation, the cassowary will not attack for no reason. They are quite shy creatures and would much rather avoid confrontation where possible; however, they are very territorial and defensive of their young. More often than not, the main reason for attacking is self-defense for the aforementioned reasons, as well as due to expecting food from the people who approach them.

However, Gizmo had an advantage that the others didn't. When Freya had left, she had dropped a file in Gizmo's bag. Her own.

Gizmo's power allowed her to quickly analyze her surroundings with superhuman speed, detailed thinking and ability also allowed her to learn and understand new skills and talents by just seeing or studying it once. This talent gave her an excellent ability to make very detailed plans in a short amount of time. She was also excellent at reading and thus manipulating others. She could predict what a person was going to do before they did it—an ability she can use to defeat opponents much stronger than her, and she had honestly thought this was something everyone could do. It is also this ability that threw her into boredom since she was able to accurately guess how events would play out; this fueled her love the unknown; which was the reason she had agreed to join this fool's quest.

The point was, she could see the dark magic radiating off this thing, and she could practically feel Iku smirking inside Joselyn.

Crap.

The cassowary's eyes were pure black, and it ran at Psychic Jared at a speed of fifty km/h.

"Jared!" Joselyn leapt at her friend and forced him out of the way, unfortunately making the controlled bird plow into Quantic Jared.

"Holy crap!" He shrieked as the bird stepped on his stomach, only for Psychic Jared to make the bird fall over and start flailing.

"Um…" Kagami stared at the bird doing a bird version of the worm, "What are you doing?"

"I…do not…know." He looked at it, "I tried to control it. Kelly, what's it doing?"

"Currently?" Kelly looked at it, "Contorting itself into its own ass."

"Why is it doing that?"

"Because it's being controlled." Kelly said, "So your magic is combating the magic of whoever is controlling it. Can we just put the thing out of it's misery before your powers make it forget how to breathe? It's very painful, forgetting how to breathe."

Psychic Jared watched the bird, "I can make things forget how to breathe?!"

"It's a very scary power." Kelly admitted quietly, "I killed before, completely on accident, with that power." And then the bird turned into silicon.

Quantic Jared was laying on the ground with an arm outstretched. He was gasping for breath, and Gizmo ran over.

"I think I'm dying…" Gizmo lifted up his shirt,

"Well fuck me sideways all the way to Mississippi. That is at least two broken ribs."

"Shit." Zoe came over, "I have bindings." She looked towards the setting sun, "We should set up camp anyways."

One hour later

Quantic Jared was sleeping in the tent—Kelly had hummed the magic lullaby and he was out before verse one was finished—while Zoe was cooking some animal. She honestly had no idea what she was about to eat. Food meant for camping was questionable.

"We didn't die today." Zoe said happily, "I call that an unqualified success."

Joselyn was putting on the golden cuffs. Chloe frowned at them,

"What are those for?"

"Keeping Iku at bay." She said, "She's demanding souls again." They had discovered that while the souls were sustenance for Joselyn, it was because of Iku. Put the cuffs on at night and she wouldn't "witch out" and eat one of them, and she could be sustained by normal food. Or as normal as meet that looked suspiciously like zombie flesh could be.

Psychic Jared was watching a venomous snake float around the camp. His telekinesis had brought him a snake. It wasn't doing anything, just floating there, hissing from time to time. Kelly was off creating a forcefield around their camp so nothing dangerous could kill them in their sleep.

Gizmo watched the snake floating, having swatted away the knife when Jared went to go kill it. She found it relaxing to watch it float.

Kagami took charge of cooking the mystery meet, and Zoe handed Joselyn a bud light.

"You did good today, kid." She said, "I saw the way you dove to save Jared."

"Zoe no!" Jared snapped, "She's a kid!" Zoe's eyes widened,

"Oh!" There was a moment of silence, before Zoe grabbed a second bud light and gave it to Joselyn, "You're a growing girl."

"ZOE NO—" He smacked the drink out of Joselyn's hands, giving her some water instead, "I will not let her grow up to be as fucked up as you!"

"I think it's too late." Gizmo said, "Demonic possession and suicidal tendencies counts as fucked up."

"Yeah…" Joselyn shrugged, "And Darkling mother forgot to feed me and forgot I existed most of the time. Jared, I have eaten your cooking, even when I knew the mac and cheese had had gunpowder in it. You should know I will eat anything." Kelly came in,

"How does one get gunpowder in mac and cheese?!"

"I found a recipe online and mistook gunpowder for paprika. The American military on Blight doesn't do a good job of labeling things in their storehouse."

"So you could either make food or a bomb disguised as food?" Zoe asked. Jared nodded, looking at Gizmo who was still watching the snake.

"Okay Gizmo, I think we need to kill the snake now. I have no control over the telekinesis, so that little fuck might get released, controlled by Iku, and kill us."

"I've got it." Kelly took the Eastern Brown Snake out of the air and carried it to the edge of the forcefield, opening a tiny hole and releasing it.

"That was badass." Chloe said, "Zoe, your Dad is awesome." Zoe flipped her hair,

"Where do you think I get it?"

"Fucking insanity."

"That's fair."

Joselyn yawned, "I'm sleepy. Night guys." Kagami nodded, looking to where Pollen, Blazze, and Viirus were all sleeping in a pile.

"We should all get some sleep. We have a long day ahead of us. And if we're lucky, we might be able to make it to the temple by nightfall tomorrow."

OoOoO

"What do you guys picture when you hear the word 'desert'?" Kelly asked.

"Sand dunes." Adrien said, "A sea of stark, clean, undulating sand dunes receding endlessly into the horizon under a clear blue sky."

They walked for a moment; then Zoe asked, "You're thinking about the movie Dune right now, aren't you, Adrien?"

"Yes. Yes I am."

"I picture salt flats." Gizmo said, "like Bonneville. Just a flat, lifeless plain. No landmarks. No features. Nothing but salt and sand and heat." Chloe put a finger under her chin,

"I picture an island with some ferns and a single palm tree. And before you say anything, yes, I know that's not right. That's pretty much the opposite of a desert. But when I was a kid, they always called that a 'desert island' and it just stuck with me, okay?"

"That's fine, Chloe." Zoe assured, "Everybody has that kind of stuff. When you think of a punk rocker, you probably picture a leather jacket and a mohawk, but two of the biggest punk bands were the Talking Heads and Blondie."

"The point is," Psychic Jared said, "when you hear the word 'desert,' nobody pictures this."

"No." Kagami agreed, "It might qualify as a desert, but they should probably call this a wasteland."

"Well we are getting close to the temple." Joselyn said, "Iku's getting both apprehensive and maliciously giddy, so I can tell. So maybe we stepped into an enchanted area."

The path down the foothills and out of the woods had been wide and mostly downhill before terminating in the desert they'd been told went close to Uluru—because the temple wasn't in Uluru, just no the same general path—and as Psychic Jared and Kelly said, this was not what they were expecting.

They expected to find sand, but they found dirt. Gritty, dark, red dirt. They expected a near-total lack of life, maybe the occasional cactus, but they found plentiful patches of grass. They would occasionally pass a patch of damp ground, or a puddle of liquid that, if you were being a stickler, you would admit was water, but only someone who wanted to die or was desperate to live would dare drink it.

In short, while most deserts were hostile to life, this desert was merely passive aggressive. Where the Sahara seemed to scream at people to stay away, this one told them "You want to live here? Go ahead! Fine by me. I've given you everything you need—plants, animals, water. Flourish, why don't you?."

As Quantic Jared watched the landscape—Kelly's mind magic helping with the pain of broken ribs and the reality warping power decreasing the chances of one floating up into a lung—for attackers and obstacles, he saw something he did not yet know would eventually qualify as both.

They hadn't been here that long, but their slowed pace made it feel much longer. As they crested a low hill, just like the hundreds before, Quantic Jared saw in the distance, directly in their path, a mound of some sort that stood out from the others. In a landscape of gentle hills and equally gentle valleys—ignore the heat, because Kelly's mind magic was again preventing them from getting too hot or dying of heatstroke—this one small bump seemed to erupt from the ground. It was one hill made of dirt in a sea of hills made of dirt, and yet it looked out of place.

"There's a hill." He didn't blame them for not being impressed when the looked at where his finger was pointing. He explained further, "It's weird." Again he couldn't blame them for not being impressed.

The others did stop, and he pointed out the offending pile again, and they finally agreed that it looked wrong. They all kept an eye on it as they walked. Thus, in a barren landscape with only one thing making them nervous, the team walked directly towards that one thing.

They were about fifty feet from the lump and Quantic Jared was contemplating which side they should pass it on when the pile of dirt made the question unresolved by standing up.

The mound had stirred, then lifted off the ground, supported by two short, thick columns of soil. Its central mass was a bulbous lump of dirt and gravel that sprouted two gnarled arms and a flattened lump that approximated a head. Scrub grass, sage brush, and formerly buried roots sprouted from the thing's surface like body hair. It stood eight feet tall, much taller than anyone in their group—Zoe, Psychic Jared, and Kelly had only seen one being that height and nobody wanted to bring it up—yet managed to seem short and stocky. The creature's eyes were defined by their absence. Two dark pits marked the place on the head where eyes would normally be.

As the creature started to move, wispy clouds of dust rose from its joints, trailing behind it like a vapor trail as it lumbered towards them. The beat started slow but it was clearly picking up the pace and there were only fifty feet between it and them, who set a Multiverse speed record for scattering. It was like that scene in Ratatouille, when the humans came in and the rats ran in different directions, the team all ran in different directions.

The creature pursued the nearest of them, which was Kagami, who did the natural thing and kept running.

When the others realized this, they stopped running and watched.

"Seriously? A dirt monster?" Zoe asked, catching her breath.

"I'm guessing it's an Earth elemental." Kelly mused.

The creature was hunched over, swinging its arms from side to side as it ran, leading with its flattened head and dead eyes. It had attained its top speed, which was surprisingly slow but still slightly faster than Kagami's top speed.

"Run!" Chloe shouted, "It's gaining on you!" Kagami ventured a glance over her shoulder at the thing chasing her, "Don't look at it! Run!"

Kagami would have continued doing just that, but instead she tripped on some sagebrush and slid to a halt on her face. She scrambled back up to her feet just in time to have the elemental head-butt her with tremendous force between the shoulder blades, sending her flying and causing her to slide to a stop on her face.

The elemental was moving slowly having imparted all of its momentum to Kagami. It restarted its pursuit before Kagami had even touched the ground, but the beast was not a sprinter, and Kagami had enough time to roll to her right, operating mostly on instinct. After pushing off the ground, she brought up her arms to protect her head. Her right upper arm collided with the elemental's wrist as the creature, unable to turn its bulk at speed, trundled past. Kagami felt the impact and was sure it had done serious damage, but felt no pain. The elemental, being made of dirt, was not so fortunate. Its fist broke cleanly from its arm. When it hit the ground, the severed fist exploded into a cloud of dust and a pile of gravel and dirt.

The elemental jogged to a halt and looked at the crumbling stump where its hand had been. It waddled to the spot where its hand had disintegrated. The cloud of dust created when the severed hand hit the ground had not dissipated as one would expect, but had remained in place, and now seemed to actually become thicker and more tangible. Kagami sat that individual grains of soil were lifting off the ground, as if supported by a strong wind that blew out of the earth itself. By the time the elemental reached the point of impact, all of the debris was airborne. It wafted toward the creature's shattered forearm and reformed into a fist as the beast watched with its dull, expressionless face.

The elemental rotated its wrist and seemed satisfied. Clearly it had no need of articulated fingers. Confirming that it was again fully functional, it turned its attention back to Kagami, taking the first slow steps that would soon become a full gallop.

Kagami crawled backward, away from the creature, and felt a sudden jolt of blinding pain from her upper arm. She had not realized it was even injured before, but now she was sure it was broken. She rolled on her side, cradling her arm, which actually made it hurt worse.

Looking down, past her broken arm and flailing, kicking legs, Kagami could see the dirt elemental coming her way, picking up speed. She knew that even if she did manage to regain her feet, she'd do it just in time to get knocked down again. Her conscious mind didn't have enough time to come up with a plan. Her animal instincts told her to roll into a ball and hope it would be over quickly. She decided to call that "Plan B" and was starting to struggle to her feet when a (Psychic) Jared-shaped sprinted into view, sword drawn—the one he got when activating his powers— and hacked off one of the creature's arms.

The dirt elemental skidded to a halt, showering the still-prone Kagami with dust and gravel. Slowly, it turned its back one her, then walked over to its severed arm, only to find the arm wasn't returning.

It glanced at Kagami, who was still trying to stand without jostling her arm. It looked as if it might finish her off, but was distracted by Psychic Jared, who had removed its arm and was standing protectively in front of Kagami. The creature looked at him, then started moving his way and continued following him when he ran away from Kagami.

Jared ran in a wide curve, looping around towards Joselyn and Gizmo. The creature followed, It was slightly faster than him in a straight line, but because of its much larger mass, it had a hard time managing turns, which slowed it down just enough for Jared to maintain the lead.

"Kelly! Now!"

Kelly threw his hands out, activating his reality warping powers so a lake appeared. Jared jumped into the water and the dirt elemental followed.

"So…" Adrien looked at the water, "What was the plan there?"

"If the dirt turns to mud," Zoe explained, "It will be too heavy to get out, and if we chop off its limbs, they won't be able to grow back. And if we're lucky, it won't be able to get out of the water."

"Is Jared okay?" Chloe asked, "Because he's been down there for too long." Kelly looked down at the water,

"Oh, he's fine."

"Then why isn't he coming out?" Quantic Jared asked. It was then that Psychic Jared emerged from the water, dragging himself onto land. Only he was dragging a green fish tail behind him where his legs should be.

"What the—" Joselyn ran over and helped him out.

"Kelly, I am capable of swimming on my own." He gestured to the fish tail, "This didn't need to happen. Can you fix it before the sun dries me out?"

"I can try." He frowned, "But I didn't mean to do this…" He looked up, eyes widening, "And now's not the time."

An iron elemental emerged from the water. Gizmo turned to Quantic Jared,

"Why?!"

"I didn't mean to!"

"Well great." Zoe groaned, shifting into Heartless and running as the iron elemental followed her.

"So what's the plan?" Chloe asked, "Buzz on!" She transformed and picked up Kagami, "Kagami is exhausted and injured, Chipmunk wouldn't be able to outrun that and is also injured, Psychic has a fish tail, and this running thing is not a long term solution."

Gizmo looked towards the iron elemental, "I have a plan. Kelly, do you think you could kill that thing if we got it relatively still?" Kelly nodded, and Gizmo turned to Adrien,

"I need you to use your wind powers and go to Zoe, and blow the iron elemental towards the lake. Kelly, I need you to a) change Jared's legs back, and b) drain that lake."

Adrien nodded and ran off to go help Zoe while Kelly tried to reverse what he did. It took about five minutes before Jared's legs returned, and by then Heartless was running towards them as Adrien used his wind to keep the beast back.

Gizmo was waving her hair like flags, "Come on! The lake's drained!"

"Okay!" Heartless jumped into a controlled fight and the iron elemental fell into the ditch.

"So…" Queen Bee looked down, "Now what?" Kelly frowned, before brightening in a way that scared everyone. It was the same look Zoe got when she was about to do something that she really wanted to but was a terrible idea.

He snapped his fingers and the iron elemental got dusted like when Thanos did the snap.

Everyone looked to Kelly, who looked way too happy.

"Dad…" Zoe frowned, "Should I be worried and stay away from cliffs in your presence?"

"Nah." He shrugged, grinning like a maniac, "I've just wanted to do that for so long." Quantic Jared sighed,

"Just another reminder I'm surrounded by psychopaths." Queen Bee was still carrying Kagami,

"Kagami's hurt. We should set up camp so she can rest." Zoe frowned,

"Okay…put her down and let me see." Queen Bee obeyed and Zoe gently looked over Kagami's broken arm. It wasn't a clean break, and that was worrisome.

"Should I trust you to do this?" Kagami asked as Zoe pulled out some bandage wrap as Kelly started turning dirt into a sling. Zoe looked offended,

"I'll have you know that I am excellent at first aid and basically medial training. Ask the last person I helped."

"I would, but I forgot to bring my shovel." Zoe narrowed her eyes.

"Adrien?"

"She actually was helpful." Adrien defended. Kagami huffed and bit down while Zoe lined up the bone and wrapped it up and put it in a sling. Queen Bee helped Kagami up as Zoe looking over the wrappings on Quantic Jared's ribs.

"Okay." Joselyn said, "Is everyone okay?" Silence. "Can everyone walk?" There was a collective nod from everyone, so she continued walking.

Three hours later

The sun was going down.

Jocelyn huffed in frustration, twitching at the cuffs scratching at her skin. Quantic Jared had been complaining for hours, so once the sun went down, the team insisted on stopping.

The camp was set up again and she sat down, watching Zoe pester Blazze.

"So what exactly happened with Other Jared?" Blazze groaned, roasting a marshmallow,

"You don't wanna know. Like, really really don't wanna know. Hell, I wish I didn't have to know." Viirus nodded,

"It was very uncomfortable. Please don't push it." Zoe crossed her arms and pouted,

"Fine. I'll give you a week."

Gizmo was looking at the charred Dragon Miraculous, "I think I can fix this. Might even be able to improve it! It's a basic choker, but I could make it more subtle." Blazze shrugged,

"Fine. Just let me watch so you don't break it." They walked into Gizmo's tent.

Joselyn looked around the camp. Kelly was drawing quietly, Quantic Jared was asleep, Psychic Jared was staring at the food cook, Zoe was cooking and looking at the stars, Chloe was fussing over Kagami, and Adrien was trying to get the MiFi—portable WiFi—to work so he could call his kids.

She groaned, getting up to take a stroll to clear her head.

"Dad, can you please get rid of the dangerous things in that pond over there for twenty minutes?" Kelly snapped his fingers and Joselyn went to the pond, bathing and taking a moment to look at the word on her arm, before sighing and focusing on cleaning herself while ignoring the scars on her body.

It was Iku's fault for the dirt elemental. She knew that. She could sense Iku's excitement during that time. Recently, Iku had figured out how to perform magic without using Joselyn's body and completely unaware other than Joselyn herself being able to sense the Enchantress's emotions.

Her hair was short, so she didn't need to dry it. All she had to do was put on another pair of clothes. She did not expect to ram into stone.

Joselyn fell backwards and then watched as a glamor melted away and revealed a castle.

It was a fair fortress comprised of several spindly, crooked, golden-brown towers topped with black cone towers, also crooked and spindly.

"Hey guys?" Joselyn ran back to the camp, "I found the temple." They all looked to where the temple could be seen.

"Let's go in!" Zoe said eagerly. Adrien shook his head,

"Going into a creepy temple in the middle of the night? I promised Marinette we wouldn't do anything stupid!" Psychic Jared turned,

"Why would you lie to your wife like that?!"

"Because I thought it was true!" Kelly groaned,

"Okay, we go into the temple in the morning. Everyone should sleep now." Kagami got up and Chloe got up too,

"You can share my tent, and I have more wrappings."

Kagami smiled a little, "I'm fine, Chloe."

"Your arm is broken!" Psychic Jared ran his hands through his hair,

"I hope we can get this over with soon so we can go back home. And hopefully there will be no terrible surprises."

He really shouldn't have said that, because the second we went to his tent, Zoe had an evil smirk on her face. Kelly immediately knew what she was thinking and rolled his eyes.

"He's gonna hate you when he finds out you're fucking with him."

"It will be so worth it."