Disclaimer- I don't own Bleach.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this yet or not, but the ages of some of the characters aren't canon. Gin is a few years older, Matsumoto, and Byakuya are as well. Not by much just like four or five years.

Also, Gin is a bit out of character in this chapter, ok a lot out of character, but I'm hoping it's believable still. If not, I'm sorry and beg your forgiveness!

Chapter 20

Sacrifices

People are cruel. There isn't a single person who can claim that this is a lie, even those who have experienced nothing but kindness. There are some who would say that the two emotions, cruelty and kindness, are the same, those are the ones who have black hearts that are sheathed in ice. The ones who justify their cruel actions by saying they were only trying to be kind and do the right thing. The fact that they are doing the right thing for only themselves by selfishly making others pay for their sins, doesn't bother them. In this corner of the world, you either kill or be killed and that's really all there is to it.

Anyone who witnessed the young woman with the short, dirt caked light blond hair and bloodshot blue eyes tugging a silver haired boy forcefully by the elbow and practically dragging a tiny white haired girl by her little dirt covered hand as she sobbed and tried to break free of the painful grasp on her hand, would say that the woman was doing the right thing. That is to say anyone in this decaying town would have thought so, anyone who still had any fraction of a heart left in their bodies, wouldn't agree.

The young boy, no more than ten years old, was struggling fiercely against the woman's grasp, his squinted eyes on the sobbing little girl as she was jostled carelessly, her tiny feet barely able to keep up with the pace that she was being dragged along at. She looked to be about four years old, she was small for her age though and much too skinny. Her sobs echoed through the dark streets and the alleys that were the hiding place of all of the town's scum.

"Lemme go," the young boy demanded, attempting to tug his thin arm from the woman's hold and go to the sobbing girl, his baby sister.

"Shut up," the woman snapped frantically, her eyes shifting from side to side, searching the deep shadows that covered the disease ridden streets for any sign of life. She knew that it was useless, the people here had long since learned to make the shadows of night their friends, they wouldn't be seen unless they wanted to be seen. Her dirt covered nails dug into the boy's arm, making him wince, but not give up his struggles.

It was late, the only light was the light given off by the sliver of the perfect white moon that hung suspended in the black night sky, a reminder to those in this dilapidated and rotting town that they could only gaze upon the surface of perfection, but they would never attain it. Perfection didn't exist in this far away and forgotten corner of the world, the only thing that existed here was the need to survive another day by any means possible. Any means possible, even the unthinkable was acceptable here.

They had been walking through the dust covered town and its many winding streets for what felt hours. The little girl's feet were cut and bruised from the many times she had stumbled as she was pulled like a lifeless doll through the night. The boy wasn't faring much better, his feet were covered in dirt and cuts, but he was still able to walk and keep up with the woman who kept looking around her in paranoia. He may not be the smartest, but he knew that her paranoia was a sign of her guilt over what she was doing.

Several yards ahead of them the darkness grew from a narrow street opening to a large black hole that didn't seem to ever end as it stretched into nothingness. The closer they got to the edge of the town where the buildings stopped, the larger the blackness before them grew, until it all but devoured them.

The two children were hauled into the darkness, their bare feet no longer on the over used and flat earth that made up the streets of the town, but instead sinking into the soft, mushy dirt that led into the forest that flanked the south side of it. It was the forest that haunted the dreams of the children who lived here for it was rumored that all that entered that forest never came back and that on some nights, if you listened hard, you could hear the howling of the hungry hollows that took refuge in the dense tree infested woodland.

By now, the little girl was struggling to stay on her feet, her sobs had quieted, but only because she was trying so hard to not trip and fall over the roots and vines that littered the ground as they entered the forest's boundaries. The little light given off by the moon wasn't enough to light their way, it couldn't penetrate the thick canopy of untamed leaves and branches that towered above them. It was utterly silent in the forest, as if the leaves and vines were smothering all sounds, even the sounds of their feet as they stepped on dead leaves and twigs.

There was a sharp scream that penetrated the quiet as the white haired toddler was pulled savagely forward and thrown to the ground harshly, her rag of a yukata tearing when her fragile body rolled over the ground and collided with the dead stump of a tree.

"Sayomi!" The little boy shouted, the lilt of an accent barely noticeable as he tried to break free of the grasp that held him firm. "Lemme go! Sayomi!" He shouted, he wasn't getting any response and he couldn't see the girl in the dark.

"You freaks aren't welcome," the woman snapped, roughly pulling the boy up to face her. "Don't ever come back here," she yelled before pushing the boy into the dirt and turning to run back in the direction she had come.

"G..Gin," a small voice called quietly, shaking with fear and most likely the hunger that made them outcasts and freaks.

"Where are ya, Sayomi," the boy, Gin, asked into the darkness. He pushed himself off the ground, looking around with a frown as he tried to pinpoint where the hushed sobs of his little sister were coming from.

He made his way towards the sounds of her sobs and sniffles, occasionally he could hear her mumble his name between her sobs. The ground here was uneven, pitted and strewn with tree branches, and other obstacles that Gin didn't want to think too hard about. When he finally found the little girl, huddled against a tree, crying into her knees, he sat beside her and hugged her, petting her matted white hair soothingly and shushing her softly.

"I'll protect you, no one will hurt you again, I promise, ok?"

After about ten minutes the little girl drifted off to sleep, curled up against her big brother who stayed awake, listening to the forest come back to life. Gin scooted closer to Sayomi, protectively wrapping his arms around her as the sounds of animals scurrying around the forest floor filled his ears, there was the occasional growl and glint of red eyes, but the animals seemed to be more curious than anything to his relief.

"Is there something wrong with us, Gin? Is that why mama didn't want us anymore?" The little Sayomi asked, she was walking besides Gin, her dirty hands clenched at her sides as she kept her light blue eyes on the ground in front of her.

"There's nothing wrong with ya, we're just different and some people don't like things that are different," Gin answered, patting Sayomi's dingy white hair and grinning at her.

"Why do you do that?"

"What?"

"You're always smiling and your eyes are closed silly, how can you see?" Sayomi asked as she smiled toothily up at him.

"I smile 'cause I'm happy and I can see just fine, so don't ya worry your little head about it."

Sayomi made a face and stuck her tongue out. "I'm not little, I'm six now."

"You're still just a brat that barely comes up to my elbow, I call that little," Gin teased.

Sniffing indignantly, Sayomi turned away to glare at the path ahead of them. She heard Gin chuckle at her in amusement, but she ignored him and continued to trek silently beside him. It had been over two years since they had been left to fend for themselves in the dark of the forest and it had been almost two days since they had eaten anything. Their last meal consisted of some fruit that Gin had found and nothing more. They had been walking for days, trying to find another town so that they could steal some food and water from the people who didn't need it to live like they did.

"We have spirit energy, right?" Sayomi asked.

"Yup, we're special and that's why we need to eat, unlike most of the people in the Rukongai."

"I heard that people with spirit energy become Soul Reapers, is that true?"

"Some of 'em," Gin replied.

"So are we gonna be Soul Reapers?"

Gin shrugged. "Maybe, but you gotta get bigger first. You're too short, kid." He said, ruffling her hair and chuckling at the disgruntled growl he got from Sayomi as she swatted his hand away from her and crossed her arms over her chest.

For a six year old that was raised in one of the poorest districts and then forced to live in whatever hole she could find, Sayomi was quite smart and well mannered, she had her brother to thank for that. With nothing much to do in the poorer districts, Gin spent much of his time taking care of the little girl and teaching her how to speak, she could even read and write a little. It was a skill that not many possessed in their home town, but Gin had picked up the basics from a little old lady who had begun to teach him in her spare time before she had past away.

"Hey, Sayomi. Stop ignorin' me, there's a town up ahead," Gin nudged the brooding Sayomi with his elbow, but she only grumbled something unintelligible and wouldn't look at him. "Alright fine, I'm sorry for callin' ya short, even if it's true. Don't glare at me, you're kinda scary when you're mad," he teased, hunching down in front of her.

Over the years that they had been living in the streets and woods of the Rukongai, Gin had gotten taller and his hair had gotten longer, hanging around his face in wispy silver strands. He looked older, he was no longer the child who had been abandoned in the forest, he didn't look to be over thirteen, but the way he held himself was like an adult. Sayomi had gotten a few inches taller, but she was still very much a child, with her still somewhat round face and her shoulder length white hair that framed her face, making her look like a toy doll.

"Come on, it looks like there's a river or somethin' too and you could use a bath," Gin said, holding his hand out to Sayomi who grudgingly took it and let herself be led off the dirt path they were on and on to the grass and into the forest to the right.

They walked parallel to the village until they came upon a shallow, but wide river. The water was bubbling and gurgling as it slid over the rocks and on its course through the trees. There was a small alcove that had been created by a fallen tree and several large rocks, Gin led Sayomi towards the hiding place and crouched in front of her again, putting his hands on her arms and looking up at her with a grin.

"You stay here an' clean up, I'll go get us some food, alright?"

Sayomi frowned, looking down the rivers bends in the direction of the town. "Why can't I go? You always leave me behind."

"Now what kind of brother would I be if I let my cute li'l sis steal stuff? And what if somethin' happened, I promised to take care of you, didn't I?"

She nodded.

"And I'm gonna, so you stay here and take a bath like the good girl you are and I'll be back in a li'l while, k?"

"Ok," Sayomi sighed. "Be careful."

"Of course, I'll be back soon. If anyone comes near ya, what do you do?" Gin asked.

"Kick 'em in the shins and run away and hide," Sayomi smirked.

Gin sighed and shook his head. "How 'bout just runnin' away?"

"Fine, but that's no fun," she pouted.

"You're a handful kid, how 'bout we save the fun for when you can actually reach people's shins, until then just run and hide."

"Why do you always pick on me?! It's not very nice!"

"But you make such a cute face when you're mad," he replied, standing and putting a hand on her head. "I'm gonna go now, if I'm not back before dark hide in one of the trees and stay outta sight until I come for ya."

"Alright," Sayomi agreed unenthusiastically as she watched her big brother walk away like she had so many times before.

In the years that had past, he had only let her accompany him into the towns they came across a handful of times. It bothered her, but she knew she would probably only get in the way if she tried to help him steal the things they needed. She didn't know how he did it, but he always came back with enough food to last them several days and he had also managed to get a few kimonos for the both of them as they grew. There had been times he would come back scratched up and dirty, covered in bruises, but he always refused to tell her what had happened, it had been a long time since he came back with any signs of having been in any sort of scuffle though. She knew people found her brother to be creepy because of the odd, fox like grin he always wore and the way he squinted his eyes, but Sayomi knew better, he was kind and gentle and would never hurt anyone.

Little did she know that as she bathed in the chilly water of the river that her kind brother was washing a sticky red substance from his hands under a spigot in a dark alleyway. There were two people behind him, splayed out on the dirty, trash covered alley, one was breathing shallowly, his breaths raspy while the other wasn't moving. It was hard to tell in the dark shadows that cloaked the alley what exactly had happened, but there was a glint of steel beside Gin as he shut off the water and shook his hands off.

"Hmm, this was quite useful," he observed, picking up the short sword beside him and examining the sharp blade.

Walking over to the body of the larger man, he kicked the man onto his side. He took the black sheath that was strapped to the man's side and sheathed the weapon, sticking into the his obi before stealing their money and the few valuables they had on them.

Several minutes later, Gin walked out of the alley with a grin on his face and headed toward the market district. The bloody scene in the alley would be discovered several hours after he had already left and several more similar scenes would pop up every few weeks or so in other towns after that.

"You killed those men?" Sayomi asked, she was sitting in a white chair with a round base and tall back in a small surveillance room.

"I did what I had to to take care of you and protect you, like I promised," Gin answered. "That wasn't the first, or last time I did somethin' like that."

"I don't understand, why tell me this now?"

"You deserve ta know that I was a monster long before you thought of me as one. It was the only way to ensure our survival."

Sayomi hung her head, staring at the cold tea that she was holding in her lap. "I didn't think you were a monster, I wasn't stupid, I had an idea of what you were doing. I heard the rumors as we passed through some of the towns, about the deaths of people in the previous towns we had passed through. I just chose to ignore them because you were the only one who was there for me and I knew you weren't a murderer. We were desperate and we had to survive in a place where you either killed or were killed, you couldn't be weak in that part of the Rukongai."

"When you disappeared, I abandoned Rangiku and searched for you for, but I never found you. I found Rangiku again several years later and we decided to join the Academy, I figured if I was a Soul Reaper then I would be able to better protect you when I found you."

"By then, didn't you think I was dead?"

He shook his head and smirked. "Nope, you're too stubborn, I knew you were out there somewhere."

"You joined the Gotei 13 a few years after I did. You were considered a genius, graduating in one year, but you were different from how I remembered you when I saw you again. There was always something that was a bit scary about you, but you were almost unrecognizable you were so cold. You weren't and still aren't the brother who raised me and cared for me."

"You're right, I'm not. It wasn't easy being alone, I didn't handle it too well. We should just leave it at that though, it's not a very pretty story."

"You promised to protect me, so why did you try to kill me that night?" Sayomi asked, looking up to see his frown.

"At the time there was no way to reverse the damage done by the pathogen Aizen had created, you were going to become a hollow and you were going to hurt people ya cared about. If it wasn't me, then it would have been some faceless assassin, I didn't want someone who didn't know you or care about you to end your life. They wouldn't have cared, or felt guilty for-"

"And you would have felt guilty?" She cut in.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because you're my kid sister and I love ya no matter what," he grinned.

"Why did you join Aizen and choose to betray Soul Society?"

"You're pretty straight-forward, aren't ya?" He sighed, scratching at the top of his head.

"I want to understand why the brother I love would try to kill his own sister and betray his home. I want to know what would make a kind big brother, a killer," Sayomi replied evenly.

"Someone as innocent as you wouldn' understand the reasons. I was never the person you thought I was. I couldn' be if I wanted to protectch'ya in that world and let ya live in your own li'l world that was free of the hurt and hate that was the real world."

"You're wrong," Sayomi countered defiantly. "I can understand, to a degree anyway. I am well aware of what it's like to want to protect someone and I would do anything to protect the people important to me. But that doesn't answer my question about why you would join with Aizen."

"Why wouldn't I?" Gin answered. "He accepted me for what I was and gave me a place to fit in and belong."

"Those experiments that Aizen conducted, you knew all about them, didn't you?"

"Yup, I knew everything."

"And knowing all of that, you still helped him?"

"I did. You've met Aizen, Sayomi, the real one. Do ya think I had much of a choice?" Gin asked.

"You've always had a choice, Gin, you just chose to be a traitor," Sayomi replied tiredly.

"I never meant for you to get involved in any of this. I was hoping to leave you out of it and letch'ya live your life. You were happy and I was happy for you."

"If I hadn't gotten involved that night, what would have happened when you betrayed Soul Society? You would still have betrayed me, you just wouldn't have tried to kill me. In the end, you still would have turned your back on me."

"I never expected to find you in the Gotei 13 as a member of a noble house or seated officer. It sort of changed things, but I had already made my choice and all I could do was try and protect ya. I had planned on findin' ya and helpin' ya join the Gotei 13, Aizen had even agreed to help me find you," he said.

"You thought I would join you?" Sayomi asked incredulously.

"It was possible. You always did as you were told and you never wanted to disappoint me," Gin answered.

"True. I suppose if things had been different there is a good chance that I would have followed you, had you found me. I wasn't attached to Soul Society or the people in it until I met the Himura's and they so easily accepted me. Acceptance is a very powerful thing it would seem, isn't it," she sighed, setting the cold tea aside and looking at the monitors that displayed much of Los Noches.

"It would seem so," Gin agreed.

"Um, this is off the subject, but...you can't see the inside of the rooms...Can you?" She asked curiously, smiling nervously.

Gin chuckled, reached forward and played with a few buttons. One of the screens went blank before a scene flickered to life on its surface.

Sayomi turned bright red as she realized that the picture was of the interior of Grimmjow's room and she could see him asleep on his bed before she walked in to the room and pulled the sheets off of him. "Oh you've gotta be kiddin' me," she groaned.

"Don't worry, I won't tell," Gin said, grinning widely as he paused the playback.

"Did you have to stop it there?" Sayomi whined as she looked at herself being pinned down by Grimmjow.

"Oh, sorry, here, this better," he asked, pressing a button and making the screen blank.

"Much."

"So what now, kid sis?"

Sayomi sighed. "Hell if I know... What?" She asked when she caught his frown.

"Ya never used ta talk that, it's not very lady like, I don't like it."

She tweaked a brow at him. "And you expect me to care?"

"I'm your big brother, you're supposed to listen to me."

"Is there something wrong in your head? Wait, never mind, bad question," Sayomi said upon seeing the amusement dancing on Gin's face. "I'm actually an adult now, so I don't have to listen to you."

"And I told you that ya are always gonna be a my kid sister, so deal with it," Gin replied.

"No way! You tried to kill me, that gives me the right to not have to listen to you!"

"I said I was sorry."

"No you didn't!"

"Well, I'm sorry Sayomi, I was only trying to keep you from becoming somethin' that you aren't."

"I hate you," she sighed, putting her head in her hands and closing her eyes.

"I know, I'm sorry 'bout that too," Gin said sincerely.

"I've spent all of these years resenting you, but I keep on finding myself forgetting all of my anger and acting like a kid again. You're my brother, Gin, you're all I have left, and I don't want to lose you too," she admitted.

"So ya aren't gonna kill me?"

"No."

"You sound disappointed," he observed wryly.

"Not really, but I betrayed everyone to come here and I don't really know what to do anymore. Aizen wants me to be his queen apparently and-"

Gin frowned, humming under his breath in dissatisfaction. "He said that?" He interrupted.

"Don't you see the bruises?" She tilted her chin up, the pale skin was already bruising in places. "I made the mistake of turning him down."

His frown deepening, Gin turned his face to the monitors thoughtfully.

"So what do I do now?" Sayomi asked.

"...Ya be a good li'l girl and stay out of trouble."

"Uh, ok. What about Aizen, somehow I don't think he's too happy with me at the moment."

"Let me worry 'bout that," Gin replied, his fox like grin back in place.

It was Sayomi's turn to frown. She had no idea what to do, she had come to Hueco Muendo fully intending to kill her own brother, but the longer she was around him, the more she remembered their childhood and how he had always kept his promise to protect her and take care of her. The more she remembered the past, the harder it was to convince herself that she hated the man who was currently manipulating the hallways and chuckling as a very disgruntled Arrancar she had never seen before kept running into dead ends every time she turned around.

With a sigh, she stood from her seat, Gin turned to look at her curiously and she managed a weak smile that faded as her head dropped, weighed down by the thoughts that were plaguing her mind.

"I'm kind of tired, I'm going to go and get some rest. I'll see you later," she said, not waiting for a response as she walked out of the room.

She had gotten herself into something that she had no idea how to handle. The need to kill her brother and take her revenge was no longer her priority, she no longer had the resolve to murder her own flesh and blood. There was nothing for her to go back to in the living world and that was if she could even escape Hueco Muendo with her life. It was highly unlikely that Aizen would let here leave if she asked to, and even less likely that she would have some place to go if he did or she managed to get away on her own. She was stuck in a corner with very few options and if she valued her life at all she would have to either kill Aizen or fight to put him on a throne that he didn't deserve to even look upon. The fact that he desired her and didn't exactly take no for an answer, didn't make her feel much more confident about anything. Even though Gin had said he would take care of it, she didn't want to rely on him, she may not want to kill him, but she sure as hell didn't trust him.

It was up to her to come up with a solution to her problems and all the possibilities took her in directions she didn't really want to go. There wasn't much she could control here where Aizen reigned and controlled everything and everyone. It had surprised her how many of the Arrancar and other hollows looked up to and respected Aizen. He had no fear and he was confident that his dreams would come to fruition, that outlook was highly valued by the inhabitants of this realm. Beings who were born from fear and despair could easily respect someone who didn't possess those qualities and never showed weakness.

That night she was unable to sleep, she couldn't figure out what to do in the position she was in. She wanted to be able to do what she had told Kensei she planned on doing; killing Aizen and ending the war before it could even start. There was going to be a lot of blood shed if she didn't and she didn't want to see that happen.

'I'm a traitor to Soul Society, I'm a traitor to everyone in the living world so I guess all I can do is make myself useful here and wait for an opportunity to present itself,' she thought morosely.

'He doesn't trust you, do you think he will really let his guard down around you,' Fuyukaze asked.

Sayomi sighed tiredly, closing her eyes. 'He's a man Fuyukaze, a man that wants me. I can use that to my advantage.'

'You know what that means, don't you?'

'I'm the one who suggested it, of course I know what that means, Fuyu. I'm not happy with the idea, but I can't do nothing.'

'But to do that, Sayomi-sama,' Fuyukaze said, his voice laced with uneasy and sadness.

'It doesn't matter Fuyukaze, I'll do what I need to do,' Sayomi replied.

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