Rifiuto: Non Mirena
"How could you let me go home with her?"
Gibbs looked up to find Tim standing on the last step of his stairs. Silently, he set down his tools. "She told you."
"I asked her too."
"You didn't take it well."
"You think?" He cried, quickly unbuttoning his shirt. "Look at me, Gibbs! I'm a... a creature made out of spare parts, sewn together with... with blood and tissue!" Gibbs quickly moved to his work bench, setting his mason jar down. "How could any woman love this?" He demanded, parting his hair where the scar was.
"Come on, Tim." His boss quickly made his way towards him, taking him by the arm. "Come on! Upstairs, now!"
Once upstairs, Gibbs pushed him onto the sofa and quickly fixed two cups of coffee, shoving one into his agent's hands and taking a seat beside him. Tim instantly set the cup down and got up. "I need a beer-"
"No, you need the coffee, now sit." Tim turned back to him. "You don't need the beer, you need the coffee, now sit down."
A flash of rebellion passed over Tim's features briefly. "You aren't my father. You aren't anyone's father."
That did it.
Gibbs was up and had Tim pinned against the far wall so fast the younger man didn't have time to blink. He didn't say a word to the younger man, just stared into his eyes, studying him, seeing the doubt, anger, fear, hatred... every emotion it was possible for a human being to possess reflected in his gaze. "I was a father once, Timothy. And I look on you as my son, just as much as I do Tony, just as much as I do Ziva and Abby as my daughters. I was a father, once."
He then released him, returning to the sofa. "Now come sit down and drink your coffee." He looked up, realizing that Tim hadn't moved. But he soon noticed the tears on the younger man's cheeks, and after a moment, he slumped down the wall, pulling his knees to his chest.
"I'm never going to be who I was before the accident again, am I?" The absolute defeat in his voice tugged at the sniper's heart, and he got up, bringing the other cup over and setting it beside the younger man as he joined him on the floor. "I told her that the man she married is never coming back..." He swallowed thickly. "It really wouldn't surprise me if I went home and she's left-"
"Ziver's not going to do that, Tim."
"How do you know?"
"Because no matter what you say in anger or frustration isn't how you really feel, and she knows that. She knows the stress you're under, trying to regain your memories, and the last thing Ziva's going to do is walk out on you. She loves you, she wouldn't be able to; her heart wouldn't allow it."
"But it'd be better, in the long run, wouldn't it?"
"No, Tim, it wouldn't be. Not for either of you, and not for that baby. He needs both his parents in his life, and no matter what you think, you are going to be the most important man in that boy's life- you are the most important man in his life, just as you are in Ziva's."
The younger man swallowed, resting his head against the wall, his green eyes closing. Tears slipped down his cheeks, and he took a deep breath. "He moves... I can feel him move when I lay my hand on her stomach and... but I don't... I don't remember creating him, at all. I don't remember the night he came into being... and I don't know if I'll ever remember... I'm trying, Gibbs, I swear, I am. But... but what if I never remember? What if there's always this gap in my brain where certain memories of my son and my wife should be... but aren't? What happens if I never get them back?"
"Then you make do; you remember and treasure the memories you make now and into the future. And if they don't come back, then they don't come back. But you don't beat yourself up about not remembering, because it's not your fault. And it's not Ziva's, or the baby's. Okay?" A moment passed before he nodded. Gibbs gently reached up, taking the younger agent's head in his hand. "Everything will fall into place, Tim, you just need to let it happen." Then, he leaned over, pressing a quick kiss to his agent's forehead.
The moment he stepped into the house, Sarah was up and yanking him into the kitchen. She'd gotten the shots she needed, and so her assignment had finished early, and she'd returned home a couple days earlier- just in time for the blow up at her brother's house. "Where the hell have you been, Tim? Ziva called me in tears! That isn't good for her or the baby!"
"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I went to see Gibbs... I just... I couldn't be around her... not after learning about the accident..." He took a deep breath, leaning against the counter of their island. "Sarah, I went through the windshields of two vehicles- ours and the truck that hit me. I died twice on the operating table... I started hemorrhaging... and then I slip into a coma that lasts for three months, only to wake up a month later and discover that I have no memory of the accident, of that night, or of the woman who's sitting by my bed holding my hand to her growing belly. She's telling me that we're married, have been for four years, and that she's pregnant with my child- after I've come out of a coma due to an accident that most people don't survive. How the fuck am I supposed to deal with that?"
"You just do, Tim." Sarah ground out, stamping her foot. "God, if you weren't recovering from a head injury right now, I'd smack you so hard Amal would feel it!" She took a deep breath. "You suck it up and be there for your wife, because she is pregnant. She is carrying your baby-"
"A baby I don't remember creating!"
"That doesn't matter! Ziva is pregnant, Timothy! She is having your baby in fifteen weeks whether you like it or not! And you are going to be there- you are going to be at her appointments and her Lamaze classes and you are going to be there when she goes into labor and gives birth, because that is your son! And you are a McGee! And McGees stick to their commitments, damn it! So you are going to go in there, and you are going to take your wife into your arms, and you are going to kiss her and hold her and apologize, and then you are going to help her through the next four and a half months left, and you are going to keep your mouth shut and smile while you do it, are we clear?"