Chapter 20: Spring Is Here
Little Falcon: I know, I know, late again but I've been under the weather lately and I am trying to whip my ass back in shape but it's not a one-day process so please bear with me…
Standard Disclaimer: I only own the idea that's all. If I did own this series I'll be the happiest person on earth!
"I like you!" A young girl with unruly high ponytail and determined chestnut brown eyes yelled from the top of her lungs as soon as she stepped on the Namimori school grounds because without doubt even at this late hour, she knew he would be there.
"I think you're so cool and so DANGEROUS!" It had been more than three months since Tsuna and Kyoko officially started dating and here she was proclaiming, baring her feelings to the man almost everyone feared to even come in contact with. The why and how of her unexplainable attraction to the aloof cloud guardian just happened out of nowhere and quite frankly it surprised her to realize that she found herself compelled to seek his presence every now and then via trespassing on the school grounds. His indifferent demeanor, apathetic eyes and violent predilection didn't turn her off instead she grew quite fond of it. While everyone backed away whenever he casts that lethal scowl and utters his favorite kill phrase "I'll bite you to death", Haru merely smiles and even approaches him nonchalantly when the others are already gone. It was only she that had the nerve to call him by his first name and not be maimed.
The chilly night wind blew, making the cherry blossoms scatter all around them. As a thin dark cloud partially blocked the full moon, he finally emerged from the shadows and approached her. What she saw made her step back. True, she thought she had seen all the kinds of look he can dish out to make a grown man cry but this one was different and she knew that she would remember it for a long time. He wasn't trying to push her away with a hostile glare on contrary; his dark eyes grew soft and gentle. It was a look so foreign yet so familiar. She knew that kind of expression. The face of unspoken rejection and cruel apology. She recognized that look by experience. Sawada Tsunayoshi had the same eyes the day he sought to talk with her alone, the day before he professed his love to her best friend.
He didn't have to say a word however, she understood him completely. However, she was too scared to accept it. "You don't have to say anything now. I know this is too sudden even for you so take your time to think about what I've said," she was babbling words while retreating. In the end, she ran away from the almost inevitable ending to her one-sided romance.
It looks as if she's part of a dream that was also a vivid recollection of her naïve self, oh so long ago. A sarcastic chuckle emerged from her chest as she hovered over the scene like some unseen ghost of the future. Back then, these menial problems were the focal point of her life. Then, she was in another part of her memory- it was when they were sucked into that distorted future where Millefiore reigned supreme.
"If it's you… then it might be possible," she was on her way deliver something when she heard a familiar voice echo from his part of the underground base. She wasn't eavesdropping but she considered it rude to walk-in on a serious conversation between the two guardians.
"It's impossible for Tsuna since he already has Kyoko… but if it's you… I would've wished for anyone else but it was you she chose… so please… she's suffering… I can't do anything but YOU can. Hibari… can't you reciprocate Haru's feelings? Can't you learn to love her?" The usually carefree tone of the Rain guardian was gone. His words were trembling and held every measure of humility but beyond that she felt something else… something so overwhelming it made lose her strength in just the recognition of it. Still doubting what she heard, she ran, away from them and away from the truth.
A few hours later, Haru literally bumped into him as she turned to a corner. Her eyes grew wide in seeing his handsome face, disfigured by blood and bruises. "What happened?" She immediately swung his arm over her shoulder and led him to the infirmary. "Sit down while I get the first aid kit," although she was frantic about his condition, she moved with the confidence of someone who knows what she's doing. Grabbing a clean towel and a basin with ice water, she started to clean his face first before applying anything else.
"He said he can't love you back," his words were barely audible but she heard them as clear as a bell even through the language of his broken lips and swollen cheek. Each word cut deep, engraving itself into the memory of her already battered heart.
"Takeshi, I can't understand a word you're saying," which is the exact truth, she was still in bitter denial. "Don't force yourself to talk. Let me take care of you first," she gingerly wiped his face clean of dirt and blood. All the while, refusing to look at him in the eye.
"I challenged him to a duel. He would've been by your side if I managed to win. However,"
"No one asked you to do anything like that!" Water splashed everywhere as she dumped the towel hastily in the basin. "I'm fine. I would've settled for…" settle for what exactly? Being unloved? Being alone?
Even through his dropping and swollen eyelids, the Rain Guardian stared at her silently. He watched her face undergone a flood of hostile emotions while he was forced to remain at the sidelines as he always has. His still bleeding knuckles clenched painfully as he restrained himself from reaching out to her. Hibari's words echoed in his head.
"Are you so blind as not to see that it was never me or that blockhead she loves?" His punch connected solidly to his torso. "She's just a foolish girl who clings to an idea of a stupid sentiment," An awkward stillness filled the air. "You're cluelessness irritates me! Are you really here for her? Or are you here for yourself?" Clucking his tongue, he lorded over him with one last demeaning stare before walking away.
"Am I not good enough?" His words pulled her out of her self-imposed trance. With his trained strength, Takeshi grabbed her shoulders and pushed her down the bed. "Can't it be me? Can't you love me instead? Because… in case you haven't noticed, I've been in love with you for the longest time. I love you so much it hurts. I love you, Haru," he was terrified to open his eyes… and see pity in those chestnut brown orbs he adored so much.
"It can't be you…" her reply came quickly and it was mercilessly honest. Even through his closed eyes, tears overflowed but he was taken aback when he felt a soft caress on his cheek, and a warm kiss that took his tears away. "I can't say I love you… because if I do… I know without doubt, that you will love me…"
His forehead fumbled in confusion as the effect of her kiss still left his heart racing and his mind unable to think of anything else. His cheek burned, remembering the feel of her tender lips on it.
"Can't you see… that aside from those three words… I have no idea how to love anyone more than that of a friend. That's why I chose people who cannot return that empty emotion I kept flinging around," her body quavered in utter disgust with herself as she revealed her darkest secret. "Are you not good enough for me? Can you still ask me that question after hearing this, after knowing that I am incapable of conveying that affection?" Haru felt his grip loosen and then finally he let go. Without opening her eyes, she felt him push away his weight on the bed then heard the door slamming close.
Her chest felt like exploding, she found it hard to breathe. Every heartbeat was torture. Warm tears trickled from the eyes she refused to open. If she opens them now then tears will come relentlessly. How come she can't say those words to him? Even if it's just for show or an act of kindness? Why can't she utter the words he wanted to hear? Because… then you would be telling the truth… it was another thought that spoke up using her own voice. Was I lying this entire time? Searching her memories for those painful portions of her past, Haru played and replayed everything in her subconscious.
True, she was attracted to Sawada Tsunayoshi because of his noble kindness but she knew the moment she saw Kyoko and Tsuna together, that they had unspoken attraction and she would've stopped right then and there. However, she still chased after the young Vongola boss like a love-struck puppy. It was like watching a train crash happen… an inevitable collision.
Hibari Kyoya is not a heartless fiend although, he acts like one. Verily, aside from Namimori, he had a soft spot for little animals and even if he disguises his sudden appearances during critical emergencies as coincidence or an affront against his beloved town, Haru knew it was his way of lending a hand. His heart goes only for Namimori and his pets, no one else. She knew and understood that, but why did she still pursue him?
She knew they were unattainable dreams yet she still dares to continue dreaming. Why is that? Did she really love them? If anyone of the two replied positively, is that a wish come true? Will she really be happy? Had she pictured herself with Tsuna or Kyoya in her future? "I love you…" how can she openly declare that lie with a straight face and act as if she's really hurt? When it turns out that… these were the outcomes she actually expected.
Then Takeshi's handsome face popped into her head. No one may have noticed but for such a long time she had always kept an eye on him. His carefree chuckles, his funny quirks, his unwavering perseverance, his gentle eyes, those calloused hands, his kissable lips and that intoxicatingly warm presence that lights her up from the inside.
So, that's why I can't lie to him… her lips quivered as tears pooled in her ears. "I…love… you… Takeshi…" she mouthed the words as her voice refused to follow-through.
"That wasn't so hard, was it?" Her eyes shot open as she heard his deep voice from the corner of the room. There he stood, leaning dashingly handsome, despite the bruises, on the wall with the most mesmerizing smile on his bruised lips.
"You see Haru, your problem is simple. You don't know how to love anyone, right? Then let me teach you…" his eyes held her captive as he approached her. "Better yet why don't we learn it together?" His lips brushed against hers at first before she leaned in and he immediately responded without second thought.
With her weak legs, she sought the one place she knew he would be in. The bottle of whiskey and that expensive crystal glass were so out of place inside a huge kendo training hall. With his back against her, he poured himself another drink. To be able to drive a person of cool reserve into such state, she must've really done something wrong. Even in their worst fights, she never saw him like this not until now. Walking-in unannounced seemed highly inappropriate so she lightly tapped the wooden post she was leaning on with her knuckle.
His vision swayed, as he turned towards the source of the unwelcome noise. Upon seeing her barely standing there, all alcoholic haze lifted from his system as he got on his feet. "What made you decide to wake up?" Trying to sound casual, he contained himself into taking short but quick steps towards her. Their eyes never breaking contact.
A frail smirk lifted her lips as she tilted her head. "I heard some asshole complained about how he's not good enough," with all her strength, she pushed herself away from the beam to meet him halfway. "I just HAD to wake up…" one of her knees gave way but he was there to catch her fall. "And yell at him…"
"And what would you tell him?" His arms locked around her waist as his lips hovered above hers.
"I love you… how can you not be good enough?" Not wasting another moment apart, they sealed their lips in an exchange that was worth those years they spent apart and even more. Their heart soared as they found the missing piece of themselves in each other's embrace. It felt like the sun had finally shone after years of endless winter…blindingly bright and absolutely warm.
The frantic knocking on his door woke him up abruptly from his wonderful dream. Somehow they managed to sneak back into his room undetected and but barely clothed. Needless to say, things didn't stay as it is when the door shut behind them. Carefully, extracting himself from her embrace he planted a soft kiss on her forehead before grabbing his pants and answered the door.
Behind it was a very grumpy Storm Guardian, who immediately showed himself in. "Where the hell have you been, baseball freak? I have been calling you early this morning!" Sitting himself on the couch, Gokudera demanded an explanation since it was very rare for him to personally pick him up.
"I…is there a problem?" Scratching the back of his head in the oh-so-Yamamoto way.
"You bet there is! That lying bitch is missing! She better not have ran off after pledging her loyalty to…"
"You mean this lying bitch?" There she stood dressed skimpily by Yamamoto's button shirt that showed flawless neck, ample cleavage and long creamy legs. Her pink lips formed a triumphant smirk as she saw Hayato's outrageous reaction to her entrance. "You look well, Gokudera-kun," she greeted before walking towards her lover and initiated a fiery lip lock.
Little Falcon: A bit confusing, yeah? I know I tried my best to remedy it though. Read and review nonetheless.