When Yuri and I finished our training session, my father was standing outside the classroom door. My father. Just thinking the words sounded so strange and foreign to me. This was my father.
Knowing about Dimitri and his deal with him just made this all even more strange. If I had heard he was the sort of man that made deals like that, it would've been odd enough. Knowing that Dimitri was in his debt was something different.
I also couldn't escape the way Dimitri reacted to him. There are few people in this world that I've seen cause such revulsion in Dimitri. None of them that I've met are people that I'd like to cross paths with. His first instinct when he saw him was to protect me, too - no thought of himself, or of the man coming to collect his due, just to protect me, fiercely. Something in the back of my mind was in awe of the fact that Dimitri would put me first to that extent, this incredibly beautiful man who had told me that he loved me and wanted to put my safety before his own life.
I couldn't deny that I love him, too. All of my doubts from the past few weeks seemed to have evaporated when he'd had that knife up to my throat earlier. I'm not sure if the life flashed before my eyes or I just realized how much I can truly trust him, but I knew. He was the only man for me. Dimitri - and a dozen others - was my past, and Adrian may have been my present, but Dimitri was my future. The only future I wanted.
My father, though - he was the unknown. My mother had loved him. Still loved him, or at least trusted him, if her arranging this introduction was any indication. She had wanted me to meet him. I might even think that she thought highly of him. He certainly was a puzzle.
After Dimitri had left for his gate duty, Abe and I had a few minutes to talk. He had asked me a few brief questions about my friends and relationships on campus, then we separated so that I would have time to shower and change before my training in this classroom with Yuri. To be honest, I'm not sure I knew what to say to him then - or now - and I didn't exactly have any concrete plans. Admittedly, I had a lot of questions, but I wasn't sure where to start. I decided while I was in training with Yuri, though, that even though Abe was apparently some criminal mastermind, I wasn't going to let him intimidate me - especially if he was my father.
"Hello again, Rosemarie," he said, motioning out towards the building exit doors as Yuri gave me a wave and walked away, "Shall we walk?"
"Old man, please call me Rose," I said.
"'Old man'," he said, with a dry chuckle, "I don't know if I like you calling me that."
"Well, get used to it," I said, "I think it's gonna stick. Unless, of course, you'd like me to call you Zmey."
"So, you've heard that name, too, I see. You and Guardian Belikov must be very close, indeed." Close. Yeah, that's one word for it. I saw an odd glint forming in his eye as he saw my reaction to that statement.
"He told me about his debt to you," I said, "I don't know what I think of the fact that you're the kind of man who would extort some future promised favor out of a thirteen-year-old boy who was just trying to keep his family safe."
"This isn't the way I wanted to start things, Rosemarie, but you should know that I never would've done what I did for so little if I didn't care for him and his family."
"Then why make him owe anything at all? You could've just done this one out of the goodness of your heart. And, once again, it's just Rose, please."
"People don't survive in my line of work doing things out of the goodness of their hearts," he said.
I didn't want to have to play this card, but it felt necessary. "So why not do it for me now? Can't you make this just go away if I ask you for it? Just wipe the slate clean because I care about him and he is my friend."
Abe chuckled again. I wasn't sure I liked it. "Friend, indeed. No matter. Dimitri Belikov's debt was already paid in full to me earlier today."
"In full?" I asked, "How?"
"That is between Mr. Belikov and me. He came to me this morning and settled things. For now, it's nothing that you need to worry about," he said.
"Easier said than done, old man. How did he settle things?" I asked.
Abe rubbed his chin in a pensive gesture, then said, "If you really must know, I think that's something for him to tell you." It bothered me not knowing, but if this guy was half as stubborn as I am, I wasn't going to get the answer out of him. He continued, "I know you must have many other questions for me, though, Rose. You're welcome to ask me."
"Can you tell me about you and my mother?" I asked, expecting he would shy away from the question.
"Ah, now that's a question I was hoping you'd ask. You deserve the truth about this. Your mother and I ... we met many years ago. Janine is a beautiful woman, in more ways than one. You weren't planned, but we loved each other and I have no regrets that she had you. In as much as I've ever loved a woman, I loved her. Although I don't know if it ever would be, the timing was not right for us, so we parted ways. Neither of us knew when she left that she was pregnant with you. She didn't have a way to contact me after she found out, so it was more than a year before I was told."
"So, why didn't you come see me once you were told?" I asked. It wasn't fair to feel entitled to know my father and there are certainly a lot of dhampirs out there who didn't, but if he cared for my mother and wanted to be a part of my life now, I felt he owed it to me to know why not before.
"The domestic life was not right for either of us. We had agreed that until you were capable of defending yourself, it was in your best interest to stay away from me. At this point in your life, though, Rose, you've shown that you are."
"So, you waited until I had gone on the run for a few years, killed some Strigoi, and got into a major battle defending our school before thinking I could handle myself?" I asked.
Abe laughed, "You do have your mother's fire, don't you? You have no idea the sort of things I'm up against on a daily basis. I couldn't put you in that kind of peril."
I doubted he knew the half about the kinds of peril I'd already been in, but at least he was trying to do the right thing. "You get points for trying, old man. But it seems like you suddenly coming here and wanting to spend an entire day with me when I've never met you before is a little unfair."
"Rose," he said, "I couldn't expect you not to feel like this is all a bit forced, but I couldn't exactly fly across the world to pop in for five minutes and then leave again. I'd really love to get to know you better."
"From what I know, you've got connections. Don't you have access to all of my records?" I asked.
"Records can only tell you so much," he replied, "I'd like to get to know the extraordinary girl I've only been able to read about before today."
"What do you want to know?"
He began, "Why don't you start by telling me about your time away from the academy, out in the human world? I hate to admit it, but it honestly all sounds pretty exciting to me: being on the run, getting to experience how different people live. What did you do while you were away?"
"How about if I tell you what happened when we were away and then you tell me about your 'business'?" I asked.
Abe sighed, "You drive a hard bargain, Rose. You're definitely my daughter. I don't want to lie to you, so I'll agree to that, but you might not like all that you hear."
-=o0/&\0o=-
By the time we were getting ready for lunch, Abe and I were unbelievably starting to have an odd sort of comfort with each other. He offered to have us go to a specially-prepared room for our lunch where they would bring in catered food, so I asked if Lissa could come. I had actually had yet to see Lissa in person today, but I knew it wouldn't be too hard to find her.
"Sure," he said, "Your friend is more than welcome to join. Would you like Guardian Belikov to join us, also?"
I didn't quite know what to think of the fact that he'd ask that and I honestly didn't know if I wanted him to see the two of us together - he seemed surprisingly perceptive. "Umm, I don't know. I'm not sure I'd know how to get in touch with him. And he might be on duty."
"I'm pretty sure I could find him," he said, "I think I should get to know this man who is spending so much time with my daughter better."
Oddly, he'd never asked to have Adrian join. I hadn't given a lot of thought to Adrian since this morning when Dimitri had the knife to my throat, but I told my father about him earlier when he had asked about my friends and relationships.
Adrian and I had never said we were exclusive, but there was some sort of a relationship there - however undefined it was. Neither of us had made a commitment. I think my subconscious still knew somewhere deep down that my heart belonged to Dimitri, even if I hadn't consciously admitted that it had on the surface. And even if I'd gone pretty far with Adrian, I still couldn't turn away from Dimitri, happily kissing him every morning he'd let me. But whether or not I kissed Dimitri then - or should've kissed Dimitri then - I felt like I should find a way to break off my 'relationship' with Adrian now. Part of me felt guilty for those morning kisses, even with no real commitment to Adrian. The same small part of me still wondered if I hadn't really given Adrian a fair shot and should've tried harder with him, too. But I didn't want to try with him anymore. Love was love and I was beginning to think that I knew where my heart always belonged.
Still, I couldn't suddenly intentionally leave him out from our lunch plans today without an explanation. I asked Abe, "What about Adrian? He's been spending a lot of time with me, too."
"I don't know if he would want to join us," Abe answered, "He and I had a chat this morning just after you went to your training about your ill-advised trip to Missoula. Since then, I have given some thought to a few other things I might want to talk with him about. I think he might not be so keen to spend time with me right now, but you're certainly welcome to invite him."
Knowing he had talked to Adrian made me concerned. He'd been officially my father, to me, for a full four hours, and he'd already threatened my boyfriend and apparently made some sort of deal with the man I love. "What was so bad about taking the trip to Missoula?" I asked, "We had two guardians with us. Plus, I'm pretty much a guardian now, too. How is that different from when Victor Dashkov took us there?"
"When Victor Dashkov took you to Missoula, it was during daylight hours and you had three court-sanctioned guardians, all of whom had achieved a Blood Master rank. When Adrian Ivashkov took you out, it was after dark with only two guardians, one of whom was a barely-passing Quarter Red Moon who had never encountered a Strigoi before."
"And you don't think I could handle myself outside of the wards?"
"No, I know you could, but you would've almost been better off going in a nondescript car by yourself than in a clearly marked St. Vladimir's car and those three. But if you'd like to invite him along to lunch, I'm sure I can come up with a few more things to talk with him about."
"You're a bad influence, old man, you know that?"
"I've heard that often," he smiled.
Especially if I was planning to end things with Adrian, I didn't want my father setting him on edge. Spirit darkness could be bad enough when you weren't tapping into the magic like he was - no need to push it. "I guess I'd rather not invite Adrian this time. Could we invite Christian Ozera instead?" I asked
"Ah, your field experience charge. Don't you see enough of him during the week?"
"He's more than just my charge. Christian is my friend. Besides, Christian and Lissa are sort of a package deal."
Abe thought for a moment and then said, "If that's what you would like, then that's what you shall have. Do you know where we might find either of them right now?"
"Follow me, old man," I said. A few minutes later, I'd led him to where Christian and Lissa were sitting, snuggled together in the second floor lounge of Christian's dorm.
"Astounding," Abe said, "How did you know this was where they would be?"
"I take it that, even with all of your informants, no one has told you about the bond."
-=o0/&\0o=-
At the end of lunch, I excused myself to use the restroom and was surprised to notice that Lissa had silenced the bond while I was out of the room. I wasn't sure why, but it was definitely not the first time over the past few days that she had done it. I was really hoping to know what my father would say to my friends while I was out of the room. I hoped he wouldn't threaten them like he did with Adrian, especially given our time in Portland and Chicago. Knowing the sordid details of Zmey's business arrangements - and I truly wanted to call him Zmey, after all that I knew - I was even more worried about them. Threats from Zmey weren't idle threats.
Lissa still hadn't been silencing the bond through a lot of the intimate moments she'd had with Christian, but I wondered if maybe that was it. Part of me shuddered as I wondered if she was silencing it now because she and Christian were getting touchy-feely under the table. I had to be grateful if she was shutting me out of that stuff now, but it just didn't explain the other times she did it. If they were, I just hoped Zmey didn't see that stuff.
When I walked back in the room, Abe had a worried look on his face. Well, huh, that could be either threats or touchy-feely stuff under the table...
"Perhaps I should have that conversation with Mr. Ivashkov sooner rather than later," said Abe, "Rose, do you mind if I leave you with your friends for half an hour or so after lunch?"
I frowned. I couldn't very well break up with Adrian while he was spiraling from Abe's thinly-veiled and very non-idle threats. "I'm not sure that's such a great idea," I told him, "Don't you think one talk is enough for today?"
"Perhaps," he replied, "Perhaps I can get my message to him later." I secretly hoped he'd forget this so that I could break up with Adrian in peace, but for now, it would have to do.
"Mr. Mazur, as I understand it, Guardian Belikov may have wanted to talk to me about something. Maybe I should get going to find him. May I please be excused?" asked Lissa, as she began to get up to leave the room. "Rose, I wanna talk to you later, after your father leaves," she said, giving me a brief squeeze of my hand as she walked past.
Christian seemed content to sit there with Abe and me. To be honest, I would've enjoyed the buffer, even in the form of his snarky comments, but Lissa gave him a meaningful look and said, "Christian, aren't you coming with me?" The look she gave him was curious, but she was still blocking me, so I had no idea what it meant.
"Oh. Yeah!" Christian said, as he, too, got up to leave, "See you tomorrow morning for your field experience, Rose. Bet you already feel like it's been too long since you've slept in my dorm room. I hear I'm a-dor-able when I'm sleeping." He smirked.
"More like a-snore-able," I joked, giving him a smile, "See you in the morning, Sparky."
-=o0/&\0o=-
Overall, it was a much nicer day than I thought it would be, especially given the way it started out. Once Abe finally prepared to leave, it was almost eight o'clock. That was earlier than I had expected, but his guardian had wanted to beat the rush hour traffic. We didn't hug or anything like that, but I did stay and say goodbye and wave to his car as they drove off. His business seemed a little skeevy, but he seemed to genuinely care about me and he was an interesting person to get to know. Knowing he wasn't the type of man you'd want to cross, I was glad he was on my side, too.
He never did have the conversation with Adrian, but he left me with two sealed envelopes - one to be delivered to Adrian and one to Dimitri, a name on each one. I thought it was strange that there would be one for each of the two men in my life, but I hoped it was just a coincidence. Zmey was surprisingly astute, but I don't know how he could've picked up on the fact that Dimitri and I were involved.
As I turned to step away from the car, I saw Dimitri and Lissa standing there, together. The bond was silent again - she was blocking me out. "Liss," I said, "What's up?"
"Rose, we'd better go sit down somewhere," she said.
The two of them led me to one of the small study meeting rooms in the library and closed the door.
Lissa began, "Rose, there's something you should know, and I don't know exactly how to tell you this…"
Dimitri cut her off. "Do you remember the talk we had in your room about the necklace?" Lissa gave us both a surprised look, eyes wide and eyebrows raised. Oh, shit. Lissa didn't know Dimitri'd been in my room.
I turned my face down. "Yes, Liss, he came to my room last weekend on my birthday." To Dimitri, I said, "She didn't know."
"Well, I'm glad she does now. You should tell her more. Do you remember?" he asked again, clearly not as derailed as Lissa or I was.
I thought for a moment. "Do you mean where you asked me how I felt and then I picked up the necklace and you asked again?" He nodded. "Yes."
"And do you remember how I asked you if it could be compulsion?"
"Yes. I told you, I thought that at first, but Adrian would never do that to me," I said.
"Look Vasilisa in the eye and tell her what you just told me," he said.
"Adrian would never compel me against my will," I repeated, facing Lissa.
Lissa looked at Dimitri and nodded. "She has been," she said, "but I can undo it." Then, to me: "Rose, look at me." I did. "Think long and hard about it. Did you think the necklace was a compulsion charm before Adrian said it wasn't?"
"Yes. Without a doubt," I said, still looking at her.
"Adrian was lying to you," she said.
"But he wouldn't do that," I replied.
She repeated it again and I started to feel almost dizzy, looking into her beautiful jade green eyes. "Adrian lied to you that there was no compulsion in the necklace."
My head spun. I felt a trickle from my nose. I wiped a hand across and blood came away. "Shit, Liss, what is happening?" I asked.
The whole room started to dim, but she looked at me again and said, "Keep your eyes open, Rose, and keep looking at me until I tell you not to." I did.
Without even realizing he'd crossed the room to be beside me, I felt Dimitri's reassuring hand on my shoulder. "It's okay, Roza," he said, brushing my hair back affectionately.
"The cross necklace had compulsion in it," Lissa repeated again.
Slowly, her words started to sink in. Of course, it did! And I wore it for so long! "Oh, my God," I said, as I started to realize all that had happened, then couldn't help but repeat myself, "Oh, my God!" when I realized that I had told Dimitri I made a mistake when we had made love. The world felt like it was crashing around me.
I wanted to turn to look at Dimitri. "I can't stop looking at Lissa," I said, realizing my predicament, "Liss, you compelled me, too!"
"I'm sorry, Rose," she said, "I had to break through Adrian's compulsion from before. You can look away now."
As soon as she said it, I could look at Dimitri. "I'm so sorry!" I told him, "The things I did when that necklace was on. I was such a bitch to you! I told you it was all a mistake!"
"Roza, it's okay," he said, "I know that wasn't you. I know how you felt when it was off. When you put the necklace on me that day you broke my ribs, I could tell what the necklace was telling you."
"This morning with the knife - you broke the necklace on purpose!"
"Yes. I had to get it away from you so that you couldn't put it back on. I gave it to Vasilisa so that she could confirm it was charmed and remove the compulsion."
I stared at both of them in astonishment. "You went to her … and that's why you've been blocking the bond out from me! But, why did you block me when you were with my father this afternoon?"
Lissa shrugged. "Dimitri asked me to tell your father. I don't know why."
I sat in silence thinking about it before saying, "Because he can make people disappear … oh." I frowned a little, as the events of the past day flashed before me. "He told me your debt was paid. Is this why?"
"Not exactly, but in part. I didn't expect it. When I came to him with this request, he asked why it mattered so much to me. I told him how I feel about you."
"So you can keep your feelings a secret from everyone - including me - for six months, and then one little question from Abe and suddenly you feel all chatty about it?"
"Roza, it wasn't like that. Getting the queen's favorite nephew to disappear ... I offered him all the money I had and to be his guardian for the rest of my career before I asked him to make Adrian go away. He needed a believable reason why I would give so much."
"Away … Abe's not going to," I made a slicing motion across my throat, "is he?"
"I doubt it," said Dimitri, "but I didn't care to ask. Honestly, with what Adrian did to you, he might deserve it."
"What did he say when you told him how you feel about me?"
"He asked me to protect you."
I knew when I woke up that morning that I would have a lot to think through after the day was over, but I had so much more than I realized. No wonder my father wanted to spend more time with Dimitri. Then I remembered the note I'd been given just before he left. "This is for you," I said, handing Dimitri his envelope from my father, "There's one for Adrian, too." Dimitri opened the envelope and read the note inside. I could tell something caught him by surprise in the note but he turned it towards me for me to read. It said:
Everything will be taken care of soon. He will be leaving on a flight to Michigan by Thursday. I've been told that Randall (who happens to be his uncle) lives there now.
- Abe Mazur
"Who's Randall?" I asked, looking at Dimitri.
"The last man I asked Zmey a favor about."
"Your father?" I asked.
He nodded. "And he's Adrian's uncle?" I asked, incredulous.
"Apparently," he said, a puzzled frown crossing his face.
Lissa, who I had somehow nearly forgotten was still in the room, said, "So, really, he should've been calling you 'cousin' all along." She stifled a small laugh. "I'm sorry," she said, "That really wasn't that funny."
"No, it wasn't," I said. From the look on his face, Dimitri would agree that it was not funny.
"I still can't believe all the things I did under the influence of that necklace," I said, "I almost slept with him last weekend!" As if he had forgotten what I told him a week ago, Dimitri gave a menacing growl at that.
"The necklace can't compel you anymore," said Lissa, handing it to me, now on a golden chain, "Here, try this."
"Oh, no! I'm not putting that thing on again!"
"I made it into an anti-compulsion charm - so that you can't be compelled by anyone while it's on," she said, pushing it further towards me, "It was Dimitri's idea."
I took it and held it in my hand. "I don't feel anything," I said, "How do you know it works?"
"Eddie agreed to be my guinea pig," she said with a smile, "I had him hold it while Christian tried to compel him."
"But, Christian sucks at compulsion!"
She shrugged. "I didn't feel like there were any other people we could trust."
"It works in theory, though," said Dimitri, "Hopefully you never need this again, but isn't it better to know there might be something protecting you?"
"Yes." I put the necklace on.
"Okay," said Lissa, "Well, now that that's settled, I think I'm going to head over to find Christian for a few hours before curfew. I'm glad you're gonna be okay now, Rose." she walked to the other side of the table and hugged me. "If you'd like, I can take the other letter to Adrian."
Dimitri said, "If you have time, we could meet at the track for running at nine o'clock."
"Okay, I'll get changed and meet you at the track," I said to Dimitri, then, handing the letter to Lissa, I said, "Here's the letter. I'll see you later, Liss."
Lissa took the letter, nodded, and turned to leave. I was still sitting at the table, half-stunned as I tried to recount everything in my brain, while Lissa exited the room. Dimitri started to walk out, then closed the door again and turned towards me. He paused for a moment, then said, "I do find it curious that you still wanted to try to get me to have sex with you even with the necklace on. Especially since you thought of yourself as Adrian's girlfriend. Why?"
"I don't know. Maybe my feelings for you were just so strong that the compulsion couldn't get rid of them completely. Or maybe the compulsion taking away my emotional feelings didn't take away how much I wanted you - physically, I mean. I never did feel that way about Adrian, you know - to love him or to 'want' him physically, even with the compulsion."
"Well, it's nice to know I'm wanted," he said, giving that rare half-smile of his, "Did you want me tonight? I could arrange for another shift-swap hour with Yuri, while you're still in your own room."
"Yes."
"Okay," he said, "If I can make it, I'll be there around noon."
"Feel free to use your master key instead of knocking this time," I said.
"I will," he said, "And, Roza?"
"Yes?"
"Wear what you wore when I came during the lockdown."
-=o0/&\0o=-
Author notes:
For those of you who are curious about Vampire Academy guardian ranks, you can find more information about them on the Guardians entry of the Vampire Academy wiki site. These will be referenced again a bit in Chapter 22.
Not much in the way of notes specifically for this chapter, but a lot to say, in general, here. In canon Vampire Academy, I couldn't really find a good example of someone being un-compelled (having compulsion removed) successfully, so I kind of had to wing it there. The whole mental battle of fighting the compulsion with more compulsion while the original compulsion was happening that left Avery Lazar's bondmates comatose was a little extreme for our beloved Rose, so I opted for another direction there.
Just a heads-up for anyone who has been reading while this is still a work-in-progress: I changed the content rating on this work on ArchiveOfOurOwn from "Mature" to "Sexually Explicit" with the addition of Chapter 21. It was probably just a precautionary measure and fanfiction doesn't allow that rating, so I'm really hoping not to upset anyone (or get my account or story deleted). If you have any real qualms about that sort of thing, here's your chance to unsubscribe. If not, I hope you enjoy a little (okay - a lot!) sexy Romitri goodness!
Here's my question of the week:
Have you ever been in a situation where you didn't realize just how very far off-track or over your head you were? Or possibly even someone had to stage an intervention of some sort?
Personally, I have a knack for getting into situations without thinking through all of the consequences. My whole life is littered with these things. I think the earliest (and possibly dumbest) was when I was 15 years old on a trip with other students (3 days' drive by bus away from my parents and home). I met an 18-year-old local guy in the pool of our hotel, ended up making out with him, and followed him back to his room. Thankfully, I lived to tell the tale without being raped or kidnapped, but when my best friend told the adult chaperones, I was in pretty deep trouble for the rest of the trip. More recently, I can recall a time when I was nervous about being fired and got angry at a coworker who was critiquing the quality of my work. I then started a 3-day, 5-page chain of scathing email confrontations with him arguing about it that he inevitably forwarded to our boss.