A big thank you to all the readers, especially those who added the story to their alerts, favorite story or favorite author. To those of you who took the time to review you made my day, all your reviews give me encouragement to be a better writer. Whether you agree or not with the way the plot unfolds, your comments are appreciated.
I'm aware that some of you expected something very different from the last chapter but in the way I've envisioned the story, everything needed to happen the way it did.
WARNING: This chapter will contain violence, physical and sexual abuse; please don't read it if you think it will affect you. If you decide not to read it, wait for the next chapter, I'll update soon. If you decide this is a better route for you, let me know and I'll send you a short summary with the basics of what happened.
I don't own Twilight or any of its characters, they belong to Stephenie Meyer.
Chapter 20 A bed, condoms and pain
Seth POV
Jacob decided that the best way to get to his house would be through the forest, the thick forest between my house and his would provide protection from prying eyes. It was going to take longer, but considering the fact that he had a terrified sixteen year old boy, unwillingly being carried toward his house, made that a smart choice.
Halfway there I started to feel that the cake and a few other goodies that I ate during the party were going to make an appearance. I was upside down and seconds away from barfing on Jacob's back, maybe that would gross him out and throw him off his game, but with my luck he may like it. I guess he heard me gag, without looking at my face he placed me on the floor only to scoop me up a second later, carrying me now bridal style. He took off running, not even breaking a sweat.
After the nausea subsided I was able to think clearly. What I've feared for the last three months was becoming a reality; this is a nightmare from which I will never wake up. I decided to hold my head high; my dignity was going to take a blow, but I didn't want Jacob to see me broken, I would not give him that pleasure, other pleasures well... that is a different story, I shrugged at that thought.
I'm not going to lie, I was beyond terrified, it is one thing to think about what is going to happen, but something entirely different, to see it unfold before your eyes. I watched the serene expression on his face and wondered what he was thinking about. Did he have any regrets about what he just did, hitting Paul, hitting me, about kidnapping me?
I brought my hand up to my swollen face and flinched when my fingers grazed the bruised flesh. With the corner of my eye, I saw him glance briefly towards me when I flinched, only to look straight ahead a second later. I fought the tears forming in my eyes, for now I was in control; this was the calm before the storm.
We arrived at his house and he kicked open the backdoor, it was completely dark inside, I guessed his old man was not home, he walked us both in, running up the stairs. We walked into a dark room where he placed me on the bed. Holding on to my wrist, like he feared I was going to take off running and jump out the window, he stretched to turn on the lamp on the bedside table.
I started shaking like I was possessed when his stench hit my nostrils and it was very clear where we were, the condom room.
He sat beside me, still holding my wrist, running his fingers trough my hair and with his thumb trailed the contour of my face from my ear to my chin.
"Beautiful, my Seth"
This mother fucker was completely crazy! Here I was with a swollen lip, broken nose, red rimmed eyes and a tear streaked face and he called me beautiful. I was livid, was he making fun of me? I just looked at him grunting in frustration, not being able to speak because I was still under the gag order he put on me on our way here. Usually I was able to get around his orders but apparently today was the exception.
He lifted his hand and cupped my face, the heat from his skin was surprisingly soothing but my face was very tender and I flinched away from him. He removed his hand not saying anything but furrowed his eyebrows together. Jacob bent towards me and started placing gentle kisses on my temple going down to my cheek and brushing my lips with his. I tried to move my head to refuse him access to my mouth, but was held in place with his free hand.
"Seth, don't reject my kisses, you don't have any other choice. Today is the day, I will claim you". I heard a low growl coming from his chest and those words hung on the air like daggers, burrowing themselves on my flesh and killing me slowly.
He took the hem of my shirt and lifted it over my head, throwing it beside the bed. He stared at my naked chest, his eyes glazed over with lust. Jacob licked his lips and attacked my neck sucking on the spot where the neck meets the shoulder.
"My mark is completely faded but I'll take care of that, today I'll place a permanent mark on you, one that will never go away. Your mating mark will tell anybody who sees it, that you belong to me and will confirm to any wolf that I've been inside you, that you've been claimed". Jacob was whispering huskily while sucking and licking my neck, like he was tenderizing the sensitive skin in that area.
My chest felt tight, I couldn't breathe, unable to hold the tears any longer I started sobbing uncontrollably, the reality of what was happening hitting me all at once.
"Shhh, calm down puppy, it won't be that bad. Today it will hurt like hell, but eventually you'll get used to it, you may even begin to like it. At least you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you are pleasing your dominant, that with every rip of your ass and every drop of blood you spill, you would have given me an immeasurable amount of pleasure."
Yep, it was settled, Jacob was completely insane. Deep down I understood that it was not Jacob, but his wolf, but still felt betrayed by the man who professed to love me. He couldn't defend me against the sociopath that lived inside him, quite the opposite, he facilitated this unrelenting attack.
He bent down again and started licking my chest stopping to suck one of my nipples, if I weren't so terrified I would've enjoyed this, but right now I just wanted to find a way to detach myself from the whole situation, pretend I was at home, sleeping in my bed and in the morning I was going to wake up, grateful that this had only been a bad dream.
Jacob continued down my abdomen licking and kissing every inch of it, stopping to lick my waist, just above my jeans. I froze when I felt him opening the button and the zipper of my pants. He removed my pants and underwear all at once leaving me bare on the bed, looking at me like I was the most delicious dish and he was going to eat me.
How am I supposed to get out of this? I could not even speak; if I could I would plead, beg, bargain do anything to save myself. This is so unfair, he had taken away any tool I had to defend myself, I couldn't hit him and I couldn't speak... creep, bastard, sadist.
Seth you can fight this, you've done it before, he ordered you not to speak so do just that, but also silence your mind. Only listen to my voice don't think and don't fight.
Fighting against my fear I willed myself to do what my wolf instructed. She had never failed me, always giving me good counsel. I concentrated on her voice until all I sensed was white noise. After a few minutes I felt my body relax and wondered if I got my voice back. I needed to check, to see if her plan worked.
"Stop touching me!" I screamed to the top of my lungs startling Jacob. Since he was not over me but more beside me I was able to jump off the bed and take off running toward the window, trying to make a run for it. He blocked my escape; grabbing me by the neck, he held me in place.
"That was a big mistake Seth Clearwater, you were doing so well and submitting to me like you should've done three months ago. I was going to take it slow, be gentle and prepare you, so the pain would be minimal. But now you are going to learn the real meaning of the word pain." There was something dark and almost animalistic settled over his eyes.
He flung me to the bed like I was a rag doll; I landed on the middle of the bed, bouncing once. Before I could blink he was over me straddling my hips, a look of pure rage in his black eyes. He leaned back to remove his pants while still pinning my legs with his, but this gave me the opening to sit up and using all my strength began hitting him. I had no chance of even bruising him, but at least it will give me the certainty of knowing I did everything I could.
He grabbed my hands, pushing me back; he held them by the wrists over my head. I wouldn't dare look down but I felt something very hard, big and hot on my hip.
"You feel that baby? Why don't you look down to see the cock that will pound you into submission?" Jacob sat back and pulled me up making me look at him.
OH SHIT ...
His cock was huge, long and thick; it looked like it was capable of inflicting a world of pain. There was no way in hell that thing is going to fit inside me, he is going to kill me, I will tear and bleed to death.
"Like what you see? I know it is a little intimidating but I'm sure it will fit, at least I hope so because I've been looking forward to this mating for a long time and killing you in the process was not part of the plan." He said that with a wicked grin, I wished I was stronger so I could knock that stupid grin off his face. What I couldn't understand was how he could speak of killing me so easily, he claims to have imprinted on me and he shouldn't be able to hurt me.
"NO, I don't like it, it's disgusting and I don't like guys. You may be gay, but I'm not." The words left my mouth before I could think of the consequences. His fist connected with my face again knocking me back towards the bed. My left eye was clouded by the blood coming out of the wound over my eye and pooling around it. I had to turn my head to the side to allow the blood to flow to the bed.
"I warned you, any disrespect will be paid in blood. Let me tell you something, this cock that you find so disgusting, is going to pound you into this bed again and again, as many times as it takes to make you submit, you'll kiss it and suck it and bend over so I can put it in your ass as many times as I want and you will like it." His voice sounded beyond angry.
He reached towards the side table and opened the drawer extracting a strip of condoms that he placed over the table. He took one, ripping open the foil and began to slide it over his erection. But then he stopped to look at me.
"No, no condom for the first time I want to feel you, I want to feel your insides as I push my length into you. I want to come inside you filling you with my seed, which will make your scent mix with mine, confirming without a doubt that you belong to me. Maybe I'll even get lucky and get you pregnant on the first try." His voice sent shivers through my whole body. The idea of getting raped was horrible and the possibility of getting pregnant as a result of the attack was beyond terrifying.
His eyes went to my abdomen and I felt my whole body shudder. Jacob closed his eyes like he was daydreaming, a look of pure bliss on his face, using this momentary distraction I shifted under him, dragging myself until my back was touching the metal headboard, the coldness of the steel even more evident against my overheated skin.
Unfortunately, he noticed and with fierce determination grabbed my legs pulling me towards him.
"Please Jacob ..." I couldn't finish, I was struggling in a malevolent game of tug- of- war where he was pulling my legs toward him and I was resisting.
Seth, his wolf is calling me, the need to mate is too strong, but you are not ready, and if this happens today, it will destroy all of us. Do as I say, I don't know if it will work, but it's worth a try. Beg, tell him what he wants to hear, promise respect.
"Please Jacob don't do this, I'll be good, I'll respect you, I'll do anything you want but please stop!" I yelled at him.
"The only thing I want from you right now is your ass". His voice was full of energy, rage and desire.
Jacob pulled my legs again, but I was holding on with all my strength to the bars that made up the headboard. Some of the bars started bending at the brute force with which Jacob was pulling; at one point I thought he was going to dislocate my legs.
Beg, plead, this is not the place for pride.
"Don't do this please, I'm begging you." I hated the idea of begging to this asshole, but if it gives me a chance to get out of this mess unscathed, I'm wiling to try it.
"Nooooo please Jacob stop pulling my legs! I cried out in pain, his grip on my legs was so strong that if I wasn't a wolf he would've cut the blood circulation on my legs. His fingers felt like claws going into my skin and drawing blood.
"Let go of the fucking bars or I'm going to break your fingers" He growled.
"Please Jake."
"Please don't hurt me!" I was sobbing loudly.
Jacob jumped off the bed moving toward me and prying my hands from the bars I was desperately holding to. He grabbed me and slammed my body roughly against the bed, immediately situating himself over me.
Seth stall him, make him stop and think.
"What did I do to deserve this Jake, what?" I could barely talk my voice getting drowned by my sobs.
Jacob stopped moving and taking a deep breath answered in a frightening calm voice. "You denied me my right, Seth. The first time you phased and I told you to give yourself to me you didn't. Then your brother came to me with the stupid condition that I had to wait three fucking months. This long wait made both me and my wolf crazy with lust."
"Jake, I'm just a kid."
"May I remind you that we are very close in age?" Because of his height and built Jacob looked a lot older than he really was, it was very easy to forget he was seventeen, a little over a year older than me.
"When I phased I had no idea what was going on. Everything hit me at once, please give me more time." I didn't know what to say, feeling like my brain was running out of ideas. My wolf was trying to help me, but she was being seriously affected by Jacob's wolf. He was truly the villain of the night, attacking everybody in an unquenchable search for pleasure.
"No more time! I'm done waiting!" Jacob roared.
Jacob grabbed my legs trying to pull them apart. I fought it with all my strength, I could feel the pressure of his hands on my flesh, and deep bruises were probably already forming. I was fighting for my purity, my dignity and my freedom.
"Damn it Seth, stop fighting, you are not going to win this one, this is futile!"
He yanked my legs apart, taking one and pulling it over his shoulder, giving him total access to my hole.
"Mmm so delicious, at last" he grabbed his thick cock and placed the tip on my entrance; I couldn't help but tense my whole body, waiting for the pain that was coming. I tried to wiggle myself away but he had an iron grip on my leg and on my hip.
Stop fighting, it's not working, you are only making him angrier, his wolf feeds of rage and you are giving him strength. You need a different approach, stay still. Appeal to his feelings toward you; that's the only thing that will be louder than his wolf.
"Please Jake stop, I don't want this, don't rape me." My voice was barely audible but I knew Jacob could hear me.
"I'm not raping you, this is my right. You are my mate and I can take you whenever I want, any way I want." I felt cold shiver creeping up from my feet all the way up to the back of my neck. This statement made me understand how much his wolf was twisting his mind. He truly believed that what he was doing was correct, that it was his right.
His wolf is totally in control; his howling is unrelenting and obscene. Seth, try harder, his mind is made up. I don't understand how I'm not affecting you to some extent because I want him, he is calling to me and I need to answer, I crave him. You are on your own, if you want to avoid getting raped you will have to do better than this. Use what you know about imprints, you have a lot of power over him, use it. You are stronger than me, do it for us.
"Please Jake stop and listen to yourself ..." I couldn't finish, I felt an unfamiliar burning in my entrance and realized he was pushing his cock inside me, I needed to think fast.
"I thought you loved me Jake." I struggled with each word, between the fear and the pain, my brain and my mouth stopped communicating.
"I adore you Seth, we'll be one." With this words he pushed further in, I felt my entrance stretching as the russet mushroom made its way inside my body.
"Ahhhh!" I screamed as the first pang of pain hit me.
"Please Jake, this hurts, stop!" I was sobbing uncontrollably, scared and angry. He wouldn't respond to my pleas and kept pumping in and out gently, thankfully for now is just head, but he was stretching the ring of muscle with each movement.
"Jacob please stop for one minute and listen!" I was able to get my sobs under control at least for a moment.
"No more stopping, no more waiting." His face was expressionless I thought that the moment he had me, he would at least look happy, but he looked anything but. He looked like he could've been mowing the lawn.
"Just one minute Jake please, then I'll shut up and you'll have me fully, I'll even pretend to enjoy it." I made a completely false promise, there was no way on earth I would ever enjoy having Jacob over me fucking me in the ass, I didn't even know if I could pretend to enjoy it.
Jacob seemed conflicted but stopped moving.
I reached up placing my shaking hands on his cheeks; it felt like his skin was on fire. Immediately I saw a change in him, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This is the second time I touch him willingly, the first one was the night I found him crying in his room. That first time ended in disaster. I pray this time will be different.
"Jake, I know you love me and need to be with me, but if you claim me today, against my will, I'll never forgive you. Please give me time to get to know you, give me the chance to fall in love with you. Let me be in love with you the first time we make love. Jakey please, all I want is to love you." A chocked sob prevented me from continuing, I was mad at myself for not being able to control my emotions and prayed that what I said was enough to stop this attack.
He stopped moving, momentarily looking like a statue, except sweat was pouring down his face and chest. His marble like appearance changed gradually, his eyebrows furrowed, his lips settling into a tense thin line. His whole body shaking roughly, he looked like he was in pain. I sensed he was suffering but couldn't understand why. I was terrified not knowing what all this meant, was he becoming more aggressive? If that was even possible, or was he calming down? When he opened his eyes he answered my question, he looked confused, dazed even, but there was something very different.
His eyes where not completely black anymore, there were hints of brown. He was regaining control! Jake was fighting his wolf. There was hope, at least he stopped impaling me, he didn't get that far inside of me, just the tip, but we were still in a very dangerous position, this could go either way.
I breathed a sigh of relief when I felt him pull out of me. Putting my leg down, he took my legs and placed them together on the bed. I motioned to remove my hands from his face but he grabbed my wrists holding both my hands in one of his, he kissed them softly and let go of them. Jacob stood up and walked slowly towards the door, where he stood for a minute.
"Don't leave this room and don't get dressed, I'll be back." he ordered and slammed the door. I heard his foot steps as he ran down the stairs and out the back door.
I don't know how long I stayed in the same position he left me, head on the pillow, hands clasped on my chest and legs tightly together. I was covered in sweat and a slight discomfort on my rear end reminded me of what started to happen and how bad it could've been. I'm sure I'll be having nightmares about this night for the rest of my life. But I guess I shouldn't complain, it could've been a lot worse. If he had not changed his mind, right now I would've been in a world of pain, I had to shake the images that came to my head, of me screaming in pain as he fucked me mercilessly.
I have to remember to thank my wolf next time she pops up; she came to my aid when I needed her the most. I felt physically and emotionally exhausted, I've never experienced such a broad range of emotions in such a short period of time before in my life, despair, worry, joy, hope, anger and desperation.
Sweet mother, for the second time in three months I came just a heartbeat away from getting raped! This realization made my stomach stir and I felt something dangerously moving towards my throat. Frantically I looked around finding a small wastebasket next to the dresser just in time as most of the food I consumed during the party made a second appearance. Worrying this may not be a one time event; I sat on the carpet next to the wastebasket. After several minutes the nausea subsided and I stood up.
Looking around I noticed that the room looked different from the last time I saw it, the walls had been painted a light shade of blue, the bed was in the same position in the middle of the wall, but had two nightstands, one on each side of the bed, there was also one small lamp on each nightstand. A small desk with a chair had been placed next to the window. I walked to this window that now had a heavy dark blue curtain, the kind used to darken a room; I opened the drape and was shocked when I saw the window had been nailed shut. I lost count of how many nails the fucker put in that frame, he really wanted to make sure I didn't jump out of the window.
Moving back to the dresser that now had a small television on it, I opened the first drawer and saw that it was empty and the same went with the other four drawers. All the cardboard boxes were gone also. The closet was mostly empty with the exception of an extra pillow and a blanket. Under different circumstances I would've liked this room, it was spacious and the bed was comfortable. It was evident that Jacob made an effort to make our (gag) bedroom pleasant for me.
I tried to leave the room but couldn't because of the order he gave me before leaving and I was too tired to fight it. Going back to the bed I saw the blood on the pillow from the last time he punched me. I brought my hands to my face wincing in pain when I touched my eye, nose and lip, I must look terrible right now. Grabbing the flat bed sheet I wrapped myself with it, not because I was cold but wanting to cover my body any way possible. He ordered me not to get dressed and technically I was not getting dressed. I lay down on the bed and brought my knees to my chest curling up into a ball. I didn't cry, I couldn't cry anymore, it was like I had no more tears; I just laid there and allowed sleep to take me.
Jacob POV
I had to leave before I did something that will make Seth hate me forever, running out before I made things even worse. I lost myself in my wolf, he warned me this was going to happen, but I didn't believe it, I was convinced I was going to be able to stay in control, I was deluding myself, this task was almost impossible when it came to Seth.
I went outside and took out my anger and frustration on as many trees as I could; after I'm done this will be a pretty decent clearing. Three days ago I came back to La Push, I wanted to get our bedroom ready for our first night together and make sure that Billy was away for the weekend. Painted the room blue, Seth's favorite color and bought a blue and brown comforter. Fearing Seth's resistance and defiance especially in the beginning, I decided to nail the window shut with four inch nails. It will probably be easier to replace the whole window than to pull out all those nails. I had to do all this while remaining hidden because I didn't want anybody to know I was back. As much as it hurts to accept this, I knew that my presence would ruin his birthday and I wanted his day to be perfect. I was suffering not being able to be with him, but I love him enough to put him first.
Shortly before imprinting on Seth I sold one of the two motorcycles I rebuilt and was planning to save the money and put it towards buying a car, but decided to invest the money on our bedroom and Seth's birthday present. I don't think he even guessed that the laptop came from me; I know he likes school and is a good student so I thought that a computer would be a useful present for him. As for me, I don't think I'll be going back to school, the principal already told my dad that I missed too many days of school and with my low grade point average I was going to have to repeat the eleventh grade. That was not going to happen; I needed to get a job to provide for Seth and I never liked school anyway. I'll get my high school equivalency certificate eventually. Sam offered to help out financially since he knows my dad and I live off his disability check, but I wouldn't hear it, Seth is my mate and my responsibility.
Finally it was June 18, Seth's birthday, I could barely contain myself as I waved goodbye to my father who was leaving for an extended weekend fishing trip with his friend Charlie. I started counting the hours, tried to sleep but it was impossible, I was too anxious. At last I was going to be able to have Seth back in my arms, I fantasized thinking he would be happy to see me and would come with me willingly. Just thinking about what awaited us when I brought him home with me, gave me an instant hard-on, I had to jerk off several times before I decided I needed to do something to keep my mind occupied or I was going to go crazy with anticipation. I cleaned the house from top to bottom, took a long shower and made dinner for myself. I still had to wait until after midnight to go get him.
As I looked outside at the starry sky, I couldn't wait any longer. I had to take a peek at what was going on at his party. If I stayed downwind nobody would be able to catch my scent. I ran to his house staying far enough so I was able to see, but not risking anybody seeing me. There he was, the most gorgeous creature to walk this earth, he was a little bit thinner than the last time I saw him, his skin was a perfect cooper color, not one blemish on his perfect skin. His proximity to other males made me very uncomfortable, but I took a deep breath and stayed put.
I whimpered when he went inside the house and I couldn't see him anymore, after what seemed like an eternity I saw Quil pulling him out of the house. I felt my blood begin to boil when I saw Quil's hand around Seth's wrist, how dare he touch my mate? I'll have to break his hand first chance I get. Nobody touches my Seth; he is mine, only mine. They all started playing something that looked like football; damn, my baby is fast, nobody was able to tackle him. He hit Paul right on the face and it seemed to be on purpose. Good job baby, he owes us for the day on the cliffs.
At one point I almost lost my resolve and ran to him, I saw him bend forward and ask for time, I thought he was hurt, until I heard his laughter. It was the purest most beautiful melody I ever heard; the sheer joy of his laugh filled my hearth with love and made me forget the loneliness of the last months. It's amazing the effect that his proximity and something as simple as his laugh had on me.
They sang happy birthday and everybody congratulated him. Shit, why was everybody touching him? Hugging him, ugh, everybody can touch him except the only one who was supposed to, me, his mate. My wolf was taunting me, ordering me to crash the party and put everybody in its place, then take Seth and make him submit, to claim him as mine forever.
I felt myself losing control as the frustration of not being able to be near him and the jealousy hit me. I ran into to forest to vent my frustrations punching holes in some trees. This prevented me from punching holes in my pack mates. After a while I realized it must be after midnight so I walked back to the house. Stopping outside the kitchen window I could hear him talking and when his sweet scent hit me, it sent me into an automatic frenzy. All ideas of control or tenderness were replaced with need and lust.
The wolf was taking control and there was nothing I could do to avoid it. The compassionate thing to do would've been to leave and try to regain control, but I couldn't. Unable to move away from him, I stealthily walked inside the house. His back was towards me and as I wrapped my arms around his slender figure, I felt complete for the first time in months. My wolf howled in victory when we felt the warmth of his skin and the proximity to his body made me lose myself in everything that was Seth.
Unfortunately everything went downhill from there; he rejected me and insulted me once again. I didn't appreciate or welcome his family trying to intervene with my plans, this pissed me off. I thought we had an agreement and I kept my side of the deal, now they were denying me my right, who the fuck do they think they are? Paul got what he deserved; he had to learn that nobody messes with my imprint. I had to use alpha commands and ended up carrying him out of the house kicking and screaming. Why couldn't my life ever be easy?
At least one good thing came out of this whole fucked up situation. My Seth told me he wanted to love me. I never thought he felt that way, at that moment I knew I had to stop. I couldn't hurt him; if I did, I would've destroyed what could possibly be, my only chance at happiness. It was so hard to will my wolf to calm down, to push him back inside me. He was physically hurting me and emotionally abusing me. But I won, I was stronger than him, I had to be strong for Seth, for me and for our future.
When the first morning rays started hitting the earth I saw all the damage I inflicted to the woods. I seriously needed to plant some trees to replace all the ones I destroyed; for sure we will have plenty of wood for the chimney next winter. I walked back to my house and went inside, once there I noticed there was no movement in our room but I could hear Seth's even breathing, he was probably asleep.
I went upstairs and entered our room; I like the sound of that, our room. The space where we'll intimately coexist, where we'll sleep and where we'll make love. This will be our little piece of the world. I felt this room would be sacred to me and hopefully once Seth accepts us, he would feel the same way. So many feelings assaulted me all at once; joy, worry and love were the most prevalent ones.
A small smile formed on my face when I thought of sharing this room with my Seth, but it quickly vanished when the sight in front off me made my hearth ache. He was wrapped in a blanket, curled up in fetal position. I noticed a horrible smell and located the source in the wastebasket. My poor baby was so upset after I left that he lost his dinner, not because of my absence, but because of what I did. The final blow was seeing the bruises on his face, I'm sure those are not the only ones, his arms and legs must be also covered in bruises from when he was struggling with me.
I was really a worthless piece of shit; how could I do that to him? How could I mess with perfection? I wanted to hold him, but knew I didn't deserve to, leaving our room I went to mine and collapsed on the bed with a heavy heart, blisters and bruises covering my hands. Now more than ever, I was determined to earn his love and his forgiveness. It won't be easy, because there is already too much bad blood between us, but I'll do everything in my power to show him the immensity of my love for him. This was not a choice and it was not the effect of the imprint. I knew I loved him a long time ago, but was in deep denial. I started to frequent his house trying to catch a glimpse of him and became Sam's friend in the process. Everything changed once we started phasing and learned the truth of our heritage and our purpose for existing. I didn't want this life for him, but there was nothing I could do, it was in his blood and even though it took longer that any of us, it happened and I imprinted on him. Since that day I've craved his smile, his kisses, his body, but most of all, his love. I need him like I need the air to breathe.
My actions today may have ruined any chance at happiness we had. I have to make it up to him, I owe Seth that much. He is extremely stubborn, it will be very hard to prove myself to him but I'll do everything I can. I'll need to be very firm and tame his spirit without breaking him, giving him the best of me and expecting nothing in return. Hopefully one day he will be able to see the real me, the man that is deeply in love with him, the man who would give his life for him without giving it a second thought.
To those of you who are craving sweet and tender moments between our wolves, bear with me, they are coming, we'll even have a preview on the next chapter.
Remember to click the little bar that says review and let me know what you think.