Chapter 19

I remember hospitals as places people go to die. I know that's not what it is, but I can't convince myself to believe that. They sent Mama to the hospital, and she killed herself. Whenever Shinji, Rei or I get close to dying, they cart us off to those horrid, white buildings. Whenever it turns out we won't die, they send us away.

Now, my friend Hikari has been trapped inside one of these Hellholes. They said that new pilot… Mari… is in it too. I bet the hospital will succeed with her and give Kensuke that opening he's been craving. Hospitals are for killing. Mein Gott, I haven't seen her much, but Sakura better not be in here. Anything but that. Shinji and Rei would never recover.

Okay. Think. THINK. Rei ran off to somewhere, probably the hospital. Shinji's in a damn prison cell. Misato, Ritsuko, and Kaji are on their way here while the former two are injured… I think. There's so much shit going on. I'm hurt. My ankle must be sprained from the fight. I need to do something.

Rei looked scared… not just "Rei" scared, but fucking terrified. Something really bad happened. Shinji's in a jail, and I know he'd slit his wrists at this point. Does he even know that bitch is alive? No. Commander Asshole wouldn't tell him that. Oh, the other two pilots are in the hospital. For all I know, either could have died from their wounds. I don't even know if I injured Hikari. I don't think I did…

I need information, but Kaji and Misato aren't even here. The old fart and the Bastard King won't be helpful. Um, that leaves… nobody. I'm alone in this.

She takes a deep breath. "I'm a Major. I'm the lead pilot. I'm their friend, his best friend. Time to do your shit, Asuka."

She moves to the hospital in a painful mixture between walking and hobbling. As much as she'd like to comfort Shinji and as much as he needs her in this moment, she can't let Rei face whatever's awaiting her alone. Hell, Shinji would tell her to do the same. That baka is way too selfless.

It seems like an eternity. With every step she takes, voices nag inside her mind. They tell her to stay away from the hospital. They tell her to see Shinji. Others tell her that she failed. She only listens to the latter because she did fail. All of the pilots are under her command, and Commander Pervert gave her full autonomy. They wouldn't have failed if Misato was there. None of the other Eva fights resulted in such a catastrophe. Hers did.

When she opens the door, she looks for the nearest person who has their heads screwed on straight. It's some nurse, a kid a few years out of college at most. He walks down the hall deadest on wherever he's going.

"You!" She points at the man.
"Captain, I'm required at-"
"Where's Rei?"
He shakes his head. "I don't know." His eyes glance down the hall.
"Do you have a new patient under the surname Suzuhara?" Dear God, please let him know that information and let it be a no.
"Two. The Sub-Commander has been down our necks on both. The one that's still alive is under operation on the second floor, room twelve. I gotta go. There's a ton of kids transferred here."

He runs off down the hall. Asuka can't move, can't think. Her head refuses to process the information. Mechanically, she takes an elevator to the second floor. Each footstep gets heavier, as if her legs lost their strength. She stops outside one door. She doesn't need to see the number. There's a much more telling mark sitting… crying in a chair.

Asuka sits next to her. She tries to say something, but her mouth became dry. Her tongue became heavy. Her head finally processes the information. She curses that moment.

Hikari's Eva struggled after I stabbed it. I couldn't stop the flailing. A bunker was smashed and now a NERV hospital has an influx of children…

Her stomach lurches. She covers her mouth doing all to not vomit on the floor.

Rei sits in the other chair, letting her silent tears fall into small puddles. Without turning her head, she deadpans, "They used the same shelter all the time. Being outside the city was deemed safer. They were in that shelter during the Fourth Angel's attack, when Kensuke sneaked outside to film. Stories already circulate on what went wrong. I… I learned a story of what happened from another patient on this floor… Kensuke…" Shit. "The ceilings collapsed in certain areas. The students could not flee when the battle raged."

Asuka punches a wall. She feels her hand break through the drywall, fortunate that she hit where there was no wood. I failed.

"Most of the students fled out of the shelter. Some were trapped. A few ran farther back to retrieve others. One was Toji, since his sister's class was the one who…" Rei releases both of her clenched fists. "Sakura's class was the only one to suffer a collapsed ceiling. Most of those elementary students were retrieved before the entire section buckled. Toji was among the last to emerge, carrying his sister. Both were covered in dirt. Both were bleeding profusely. Toji was crying. Kensuke said it was tears of joy. I have seen Shinji cry that way before. Toji's head was torn, as if something sharp fell on it."

Rei looks up at the operating room's door. "Sakura will recover. The surgery is simple. Amputation rarely results in death, especially in this facility. Toji died a few minutes after arriving."

Asuka slumps down against a wall, unable to do anything else.

"Asuka, I have failed you all. I wished to protect Sakura. Now, I killed her brother. Her father was a technician for Unit 03. He died in the explosion. She is now an orphan, no living relatives."

In the midst of the redhead's turmoil and self hatred, she has one thought that is true. Hospitals are places of death.

I'm a monster.

Shinji breathes. It's not a conscious thought. His body forces him to.

I'm a monster.

Time passes by the boy. Has it been minutes, hours, days? He doesn't know; he doesn't care.

I'm a monster.

No one opened that door since his father. Not Misato if she's even alive. Not Rei. Not Asuka. Who'd want to look at a murderer anyway?

I'm a monster.

He sunk his prog knife in the entry plug without a care in the world. He felt only rage. There was no inner turmoil at the action. He didn't consider morality or other options. He killed that pilot with the same grimness as pealing an orange. He just… did it. Desensitized.

I'm a monster.

His door opens and closes after someone takes a few steps inside. He doesn't open his eyes to the newcomer. He doesn't turn his head off the floor. He doesn't care.

"Hey."

It's a new voice, but he doesn't feel curiosity. It sounds wary. Rightfully so. Talking to murderers can be hard.

I'm a monster.

"I'm the pilot you tried to kill. I'm still alive." The speaker turns on the cell's light. He opens his eyes and blinks several times to adjust to the brightness. He sees a girl. She looks mostly European. She has a hair like Asuka, though a little darker.

She sits down beside him. "In all the ways to meet you, this is one I wouldn't expect. You're just lying on the ground like a corpse. That's pretty pathetic, you know? Sit up at least."

He does. She smiles, a sad one. "Rei and Asuka are fine. So's Hikari, but she's still unconscious. Blue and your buddy are in Sakura's room. Asuka won't leave Rei's side because she took it hard. Your fight had nothing to do with casualties. Asuka and Hikari's did."
"Sakura?" he croaks.
"Yes, a shelter collapsed. Ten deaths, nine of which are children. Twenty are still missing. Your friend Toji died saving Sakura."

He wraps his arms around his legs, the fetal position. His friend died doing what he should've done. He should've been the one protecting others. Shouldn't I be feeling more depression? Maybe I can't.

I'm a monster.

"I'll be staying here a while. You need the company. Plus, I punched a superior officer, an old guy, to get here." She shrugs. "He liked the idea though, so it's all fine."

He closes his eyes and sees Toji. He sees his punch when he was angry. He sees his eyes light up when he learned Sakura was getting transferred to NERV's hospital. He sees him when his friend gobbled down lunch, the only part of school the boy liked other than PE.

"You're the shittiest friend I've ever seen if this's how you're going to act." Her tone has shifted into a very dark growl. "Rei blames herself for Sakura's injuries. Both legs have been amputated. Asuka blames herself for everything. Shit, I am too, but you'll have to be there for both of them."
"How do you know all this?"
She shrugs. "An old friend. Kaji. Oh, Misato has a banged up arm, nothing too serious."

He notices something about her. She's fine, normal. She wears street clothes and not a single scratch on her body could be seen.

"How did you survive when…"
She chuckles. "I got a badass guardian angel I suppose."
"You're joking now?" He stands up. "My friend just died!" His voice reverberates against the cold walls. "You almost died. My friends are in a worse situation that I! What is wrong with you?" He stares her down, his face inches away from hers.
She still has the stupid grin. "Puppy. That's what I'll call you."
"BE SERIOUS!"

One moment, he was standing. He feels his world spin around, literately. Then, his cheeks come into contact with the cement floor. Her slap has a lingering sting.

"I am serious, Puppy. Listen to what I'll say, and maybe Asuka won't fall into a shitty depression, Rei won't withdrawal into being a doll, and you won't lose your mind after having everything that matters in your life go down the drain."
"How did-"
"Your head screwed on again?"
"Yes."

She offers him her hand. He takes it.

She shakes his hand. "Name's Mari Illustrious Makinami. Made up the last two, came into this word with just the first one."
He lets go and rubs his cheek. "Shinji Ikari. What do you have to say, and how do you know so much?"
"That's unimportant. Just don't think that I'm freakin' Supergirl because I'm not. I don't think Rei's gonna leave Sakura any time soon. It'll take the next Angel to pry her away. Asuka, however, will be heading here before then I'd bet. She'll need your strength as much as she needs yours. You'll have to help her. Toji's death wasn't her fault."
"Don't talk about him like that, like it's just a problem to be solved."

He clenches his fists. She looks away.

"It sucks, but Toji won't be the only person you know who'll die. The world rests in the hands of five kids. Two are in a jail cell. One's unconscious. Two are hurt and sitting in a hospital room. You don't happen to know the classification of the next Angel, do you?"
"Um, the Fourteenth?"
"The Angel of Might."
"How do you know that?"

She sits down on the bed.

"Judging from the title, he'll make the others look like pussies. When Asuka comes in, you'll have to get her in fighting condition."
"That's cold."
"It's life. She's more fragile than she lets on."

He points his finger at her face.

"Don't talk about Asuka like that. You don't know her like I d-"
"Age, 13. On the day she became an Eva pilot, her mother committed suicide. Mental issues probably include pediophobia, misandry, and borderline personality disorder. The symptoms of the latter include a messed-up sense of personal identity, a major fear of abandonment, black-and-white thinking, impulsivity, erratic emotions, depression, anger, and absolute fear of rejection. How did I do?"

She crosses her arms, as if she challenges him to retort.

"You can't know that information already." He grabs her shirt's collar. "No games. Tell me how you know this!"
"It's great to see you being so assertive and protective."
"Damn consequences. Tell me now!"
"We're on the same team, asshole."
"You haven't given me a reason to believe that."
"How about this, do you know this cell isn't monitored? They never installed a camera. Pretty pathetic if you ask me. I bet your twin doesn't know that."

Shinji lets go of Mari's collar. She smirks.

Hikari stands on a train and holds onto a bar. She doesn't know why or when she got there. She just stands. It must be morning or evening. A red hue covers the train car. Her stomach tosses and turns as if she has motion sickness.

"Who?" She sees two people, Toji and Rei. They don't seem to notice her. The two sit on opposite sides of the train car and stare blankly at the other. She stumbles to them.

"Hello Hikari." Rei nods, but… there's something not right. The train tracks below clank like a heartbeat.
Toji looks at her and slumps his shoulder. "Is she de-"
"No." The blue haired girl shakes her head. "Just you, but she doesn't know."
"Oh."

He stands up and motions for her to sit. She takes the seat next to his.

"Hi, Hikari."
"Hello." She blushes. "Why are we here?"
"I know why I'm here, oh, and my new friend too." He motions to Rei. "But not 'bout you. Were you injured during the fight?"
"Fight?"
"Yeah, you were an Eva pilot. It got infected."
"Oh."

He rests his hand on her shoulder. She shivers from the warmth.

"I don't blame you for anything that happened."
"What happened?"
"The shelter used for most of the school collapsed. I ran back inside to save Sakura. I did."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't blame yourself. I guess it was my moment of redemption. I screwed up bad when she got hurt the first time. I'd go to hell and back again to keep that from happening again. I did. My last memory was crying tears of joy. My little sis was banged up bad, but she was breathing."
"Was? What are you talking about, Toji?"

Rei clears her throat. "He's dead."
He hugs his girlfriend. "It's alright."
She hugs him back. "I'll go with you."
"Nah, you ain't the type to abandon responsibility. Plus, I got a favor to ask of you."
"You're really dead?"
"Yeah." He laughs. "My new friend cleared up a few things though, helped out a bit. I always needed the help of others to pass anyway. Too bad I never got to use all that book stuff you taught me."

Rei clears her throat. "I apologize, but time is wearing thin."
"Oh…" He kneels in front of Hikari, forcing her to look in his eyes. "Hey, Sakura's still out there. Could you promise to be there for her? All she got now is Rei, and my friend told me how that's about to change too."
Hikari glances at Rei… She is Rei, right? "Yes, but…"
"You'll get over me some day. Maybe find a smart guy. Sorry I can't grow old with you. Oh, and help out Kensuke too. Got it?"
"Yes."

He kisses her forehead; she opens her eyes.

"An unfamiliar ceiling." She tries to sit up, but she can't. Her body aches too much.
"Don't sit up." She turns her head and sees the last person she'd expect to see. "You're banged up worse than me."

Bandages wrap part of his forehead, but other than that, Kensuke seems fine physically. His eyes look dead though.

"The girls are with Sakura. She lost her legs. Shinji has been in a jail cell for the past three days. Some UN grouped freaked the hell out with how he fought."
"Mari?"
"That new girl? Everywhere. Here, sharing a cell with Shinji, talking to most of NERV's command at some point."
"Why are you here?"
"I thought T… T-Toji wouldn't want you to be alone."
"He's dead."
He cringes. "How'd you know?"

She looks at the ceiling. It's pale, white, lifeless. She whispers, "He told me."

ZZZ

Asuka leaves Hikari's room. She took Toji's death better than expected, some hallucination helped her somehow. It's a bit concerning to be honest, but it's better than… Than how I was after Mama died. Kensuke won't leave her side, some odd form of male duty; Rei won't leave Sakura's side, some twisted form of guilt. The kid still hasn't woken up. The doctors don't know how long they'll keep her under. They hope she'll heal soon.

And now I… I have to face Shinji. I left him alone. He was even stuck in there with that bitch. I… How can I face him? I failed. The great Asuka Langley Sohryu is a failure. My entire team went to Hell, and it's MY fault.

She meanders to the cells. Walking there should take just over an hour, but she arrived at mid afternoon even though she left the hospital in the morning. She doesn't want to see him. How can she tell him that she killed his friend, crippled his beloved sister's little friend, and put her friend in a coma for three damn days? Screw promises. No one could see her in the same way. That's why she avoided Misato this entire time… even though that woman was decent enough to bring Shinji food three times a day. She'd avoid Sakura if… when she wakes up. She'll avoid Rei when she finishes her depressed state of mind. She could only see Hikari for a few minutes. Then, she had to leave.

She takes her hand away from the button. All she has to do is press it and the door would open. He'd be sitting there, in the dark and alone. Asuka turns around. I can't. She doesn't know why. Every fiber of her being tells her not to. If she doesn't see him, then there will always be a hope that things will become normal again. If she sees him, then that hope will be killed.

She stops. The guards give her puzzling looks, but she ignores them. She sees Shinji, after she rejected being his girlfriend. It… it wasn't out of fear… Okay, maybe a little. But, they had to be romantically platonic so they could focus during the battles… She got taken by that sphere Angel soon after… It doesn't matter. She hears her words from what feels like a lifetime ago echo in her mind.

"We're still friends, right?"

She faced death on more than one occasion. She thought Shinji was going to die several times. Every instance, she felt fear. Somehow, it paled compared to that moment. He had every reason to reject her. She kissed him, cried, and rejected him. How could any man be fine with that? And Shinji is a man, a kid too, but a man as well.

She hears his words.

"Best friends."

Two words. Together, they mean something that Asuka craves more than anything else. She needs someone who will never leave her, reject her, or abandon her. He claimed to be that person with those words.

She turns around and walks back to the door. She taps the button. The door swings open and reveals a dimly lit, claustrophobic room. On the back wall, he sits in a tiny bed on the wall. He looks up and his eyes open in surprise, as if he never expected to see her there.

"Hey," they say together. They look away at the same time.

"Um." He looks down. "You can come in if you want."

She takes a step inside and turns on a light. At least he wears his normal clothes now. The door shuts behind her. Until she signals the guards, it won't open.

He stands up and motions for her to sit next to him. "Uh, how are you feeling?"
She grimaces. "Baka, I should be asking you that."
"I already know everything."
"Oh… I fai-"
"Don't say that." His voice comes out tough. "You didn't. I know Sakura won't blame you. Neither will Hikari. Toji never would have."
"I left you here alone."
"You had the others to attend to. I… I had time to think."
"About what?"
He shrugs. "You mostly."

He motions for her to sit next to him again. This time, she takes the seat. He puts himself next to her. She sees the dark rings under his eyes.

"Shinji, how well have you slept?"
"Like crap. You?"
"Same." A arbitrary thought enters her mind, but it sounds like a good idea. "You wanna sleep?"
"Sure."

The bed is just large enough for a man to lie, but the two teens squeeze in anyway. Asuka wraps herself up in his arms. Her entire world has become wrong, but this moment is right.

Rei stares at Sakura. The door opens, but she continues to stare. Someone sits next to her, but she still stares.

"Rei."

She turns immediately to the speaker, snapped back to reality. Commander Ikari's eyes are locked on her small form.

"Yes?"
"You know that Suzuhara's father has perished, do you not?"
"I know. I do not want her in an orphanage."
"I made arrangements so that will not occur. How does seeing her like this feel?"
"Broken."
"What would you do to end that feeling, to make right what is wrong?"
"Anything."
"Now, do you understand me better?"
"Yes, I know what must happen for Sakura to be… one."
"Good."

Both of their phones ring at the same time. She feels a distant pull. The girl does not need to read the message to know what it relays.

"Pilot Ikari has to remain in custody. I cannot betray SEELE yet. You know what to do." He places his hands on her shoulder. "I apologize for what may come."

They stand together. Rei looks at Sakura for one last time as they exit the door.

"I apologize for leaving." Staff rushes in to take the girl somewhere safe, a vain gesture. Nowhere is safe.

"Pilots! All pilots, get to your Evas, NOW!" Misato screams over the intercom. Her voices shakes NERV's halls and passageways.

Kensuke looks out the glass at the GeoFront. That last explosion rocked everything. Hikari struggles against him, but he hold her down.

"Let me go! I need to help!" Her hands pound against his head. His glasses broke a minute ago.
"You awoke from a coma. You're uncoordinated and too far away."

Fate has a thing for me. I want to pilot, then piloting kills my best friend. Now, I'm keeping his girlfriend from doing the same, but… I don't think they'd want her to either. No one came to see us after the alarm went off. There's no way in hell I'm ever going into a shelter again.

The ground shakes as if the world's being torn in two. A cloud of debris rains down from above just as Hikari's Eva emerges from the GeoFront.

"Hikari, someone's piloting Unit 03."
She stops punching him. She turns out to look. "Who is it?"
"Mari I'd bet. Her Eva was damaged pretty bad by Shinji."

The Eva fires some guns at the hole. A giant Angel levitates to the ground. It's orange, black, and white. Stocky too. He'd never expect this to be the first Angel to blast its way into the GeoFront.

The Eva charges as Hikari clutches him tight. It takes out a prog knife. The Angel lashes out with two thin appendages. Unit 03 dodges the first one skillfully. The second one slices through the Eva like it's nothing. The upper torso slides off the lower half. Blood fires out of both hunks.

"You won't be piloting any more, Hikari."
"Will we see Toji again?" She sounds scared, like a little child. Too bad it's still braver than his.
"Soon."

Rei's feels her mind connect to Unit 01. Your son is in danger. I need you to work with me. She feels her body lurch as the technicians launch her up the catapult.

"Rei!" The Major sounds frenzied. "Mari hijacked Unit 03. It got her in seconds. The arms are razors."
"Understood."

We must win so Asuka and Shinji won't have to. She stops at the GeoFront surface. The hacked body of Unit 03 lies on the ground. Rei dodges under two wiry arms. One cuts through her umbilical cable. She unsheathes her knife.

Rei screams. Her entire body burns. The Angel fired its beam at her. Then, she feels two wounds. First, her heads feels like it has been sliced off. Second, she feels a stab in the middle of her chest. She vomits inside the LCL. Her head slams into the side of the entry plug. Unit 01 must have fallen on the ground. Reality slips away from her clutches.

Get up. Take me. Do anything to me. Get up. Fight. I know you can win.

Unit 01 does nothing.

Darkness smothers Rei.

Shinji and Asuka parted ways at the cages. She let him out unauthorized. Damn consequences. She ran to her Unit cage. He runs to his, and now he's here. He stops dead in his tracks. Rei. It's empty.

Without thinking, he runs to the only other cage that houses a working Eva. He stops when he sees his father standing, staring at Unit 00. He's the only other soul in the room.

"You arrived."
"Where's Rei!"
"A bloody mess on the battlefield."

Another blast almost pushes Shinji to the ground. He clenches his hands into fists.

"Let me pilot Unit 00!"
His father nods. "She wants to see you again."

He runs up the stairs and dives into the entry plug. One of the technicians orders an evacuation of the bridge. It's inside the GeoFront. Damn robot, sync with me this time! His entry plug inserts itself.

He doesn't feel his heart beating. He can't breathe; he can't move. His tongue doesn't taste the iron-like LCL and his ears don't hear the horrors of war.

You.
Let me move! Don't kill me! I need to save Rei before Asuka and Misato die!
Wait.
I cannot wait! The Angel reached the bridge!
Time. Have time. Speed of thought. Fast. Not close to second yet.
What do you want? Why are you the only Eva that speaks?
Eva?
You're an Eva. We need to kill and Angel that destroyed Unit 01 with Rei inside.
Me? Not Eva.
You're Unit 00, the prototype.
You Eva?
I'm a kid, like all the other pilots.
I. You. Same kind.
I don't care. You can be whatever you like. I need you to sync with me!
No.

No! Why!
Lonely.
I'll sync with you every day for the rest of my life if you'll just fight for me!
Anything?
Anything.
Want hug.
Um… sure, but how?

His eyes see again. Instead of the entry plug or the Eva cage, he sees a dark expanse. Only one thing stands out from the eternal nothingness. A streetlamp. A bench. A girl.

He walks up to her. Somehow, his feet touch something solid even though he sees nothing below. In front of him, the girl and the bench face away. She must be young, no older than Sakura. She has short, brown hair.

When he sits next to her, she turns her head opposite of his. I have no idea what's going on, but she wants a hug as payment. Why am I not afraid, at all?

"You want that hug now?"
Why her hair blonde?
"Who?"
HER.
"I don't know."
Akagi.
"Since… I never asked."
Given name?
"Ritsuko."

The girl faces him. She has Rei's face, but it isn't. Her eyes are much too large, much too… wild, insane.

Hug me.

He does. He keeps his distance from the stranger, but she pulls him into a tight embrace with far too much strength for a girl.

"Can we fight now?"
My tendencies fight.
"You're fighting?"
Winning. Pretty red fighting too.
"Where am I?"
Core.
"Will I be here forever?"
I want yes. But let go.
"You still winning? Is Asuka alright?"
Power out. Asuka. One arm.
"Let me fight!"

He lets go of her and stands up.

"I'll fight somehow! Let me out, and I'll s-"
Unit 01. Awake.
"What? Is Rei alright?"
Angel dead soon. You leave soon.
"Bye? Tell me, is Rei alright?"
Will be.
"Thanks, Unit 00."
Not Unit 00.
"Who are you then?"
Bye. Ikari.

He slides onto the ground from Unit 00's core. As he looks up, he sees his Eva devouring the Angel like a rabid animal, a monster.

Asuka syncs with her Eva. I hope Shinji made it to his. Her clothes stick to her body. No time for pleasantries. Before she could call Misato, she hears a voice, one of those male technicians. "All personnel evacuate! Repeat, all personnel evacuate!"

She charges. There's only one reason a grown man who witnessed almost a dozen Angel battles would scream like a scared schoolgirl. The Angel's about to enter the Verdamt bridge. She feels it. Intuition maybe. Perhaps she's about to do something incredibly stupid that'll cause everyone she… loves to die. Perchance her gut is wrong, and she hears only an evacuation order.

It doesn't matter. I'm Captain Sohryu. Shinji needs me to be confident.

She rams her Eva through wall after wall. Each impact sends a stab of pain up her left shoulder, but she doesn't hear any crashes or alarms. Her hysterical scream drowns out sound. She doesn't notice her Eva doing the same.

She breaks through a thin, glass wall. She punches the abomination, about to kill every bridge member with glowing eyes. All she knows about its body is that it's big, ugly as Hell, and apparently overpowered.

I need to get it away from Misato.

She takes a hold of each shoulder and shoves it through a wall. Keep it disoriented. No counterattacks! It falls on the ground as Asuka takes out her Prog knife. She jabs it through the left eye as the right eye fires a beam of light at her arm. Everything from her left elbow on down crashes into a wall. Her blood covers the monster and her real arms shoots pain up her body, as if it too is gone.

It's just a flesh wound.

She has to get this bastard away from the others. She kicks, punches, and shoves the larger warrior. When it loses its footing, she slams into its chest and sprints to the nearest catapult.

She momentarily pauses her deranged shrieking to actually say a word. "MISATO!" Did I open the comm channel? She did. The catapult launches up putting more G-forces on her then she ever felt before. This's fast. She slams its face into the sides of the wall, each time driving her knife farther into its flesh and tearing off chucks of armor. The Angel bleeds more than her.

They soar through the air. Their launch propelled them into the sky. She positions herself on top, so its body takes the brunt of the impact. When they hit the dirt, she sees a mutilated Unit 03 and a decapitated Unit 01. Rei? Shit!

She head buts the knife. The entire hilt sinks under the Angel's tissue. She takes a hold of the face with her remaining arm and twists it upside down.

"Batteries!" Misato's voice overpowers the girl's continuous scream. She glances at the timer. Twelve damn seconds! She takes a faction of a second to remember the two fallen Evas. Unit 01, sliced cable. Unit 03, yes!

She scrambles to the fallen Eva. Did they put Hikari in one of these deathtraps again? She rips the umbilical cable from the Eva and inserts it into her back. She dodges, assuming something horrible was about to happen. It doesn't counter attack. Instead, she hears a roar, one she heard only once before.

Unit 00.

The Angel lashes out with both of its thin, silver arms. Unit 00 bats both away with two AT field. She sees both glow like fireworks, taking far too much energy for a unit without a cable. The Eva rips off the Angel's left arm. Shinji? It tears out a chunk of its pasty white flesh.

She charges. Berserk or not, Shinji has to be in there. Like Hell she'll let her partner fight alone. She punches the back of its body making the beast twist. Instead of a beam of light engulfing Shinji, it hits the lake instantly creating a cloud of steam.

Unit 00 stops moving. The single eye stops glowing. No! She leaps in front of his Eva and pushes it out of the way. Her open palm connects to their enemy's face, so it falls backwards. She grabs the core and pulls. Tendon after tendon tears off. So close!

The Angel's remain appendage shoots out. Then, Asuka sees only her entry plug, no longer powered by the severed cable.

She feels indescribable horror.

"Shinji!"

ZZZ

Rei opens her eyes. Blood and vomit intertwine with the LCL. Her lungs sting. She hears one thing, a reverberating hum. The explosions of battle, the crashing of Evas, and the clanking of metal against AT fields don't exist. Nothing. Just humming. She grimaces. Only one being still stands on the battlefield. Zeruel will descend to Terminal Dogma and start Third Impact. All will die. Asuka will die. Shinji will die.

No.

Rei feels power. She lets the power envelope her, or maybe she envelopes the Eva. It does not matter. Her body begins to dissipate into the LCL. They feel the AT fields of her allies, friends, and family. All still live. They sense their head, so they pick it up with their remaining arm. When the head meets the neck, it lets out a war cry, a challenge. They see Zeruel turn around. Its mangled head twists into what may be confusion.

It lashes out with its arm, so they hold up their hand. Their fingers slice through the enemy's appendage. Giving a jerk, they rip out the silver limb and send the Angel tumbling towards them. They bite its face off as the monster makes a whimpering sound. Swallowing the prize, they attach the Angel's flesh to their own. A new arm bubbles from the thin metal.

They crawl on all fours to the body, foregoing any humanity. The Angel quivers, still alive. Their teeth sink into its core. With each bite the Angel shakes. They want it alive, to feel pain of being eaten alive. After the last of the red core slides down their throat, the Angel stops moving, forever.

Unit 01 burst from its bindings and gurgles… roars at the world.

Rei no longer sits in an entry plug.

ZZZ

Misato's voice: "Infused with another soul, what will Rei see? Is she already too withdrawn from the world to ever return? Meanwhile, everyone tries desperately to save her but fail. Rei sees Rei. Shinji becomes Gendo. Gendo sees Sakura. Mari feels defeat. Asuka… realizes herself. It's all in the next chapter. Form of the Mind, Form of the Woman."

ZZZ

Author's notes: Sorta confused with what just happened? I said a lot in sentences where characters just casually say something. Here's a quick outline if you want it: (warning, text wall)

SEELE freaked the Hell out after Shinji essentially controlled a berserk unit, so they ordered Gendo to put him in jail. Knowing when to pick his battles, he accepted. Kozo went around and got all the injured children from the shelter to the best hospital available. Toji dies. Rei mourns while Asuka loses her confidence. Mari wakes up, assaults Kozo (though he was fine with it) to give Shinji a pep talk, and gives a pep talk while also revealing she knows a lot of shit. Mari gets out and talks to NERV's highest four officials. Hikari sees Toji one last time with Train Car Rei and wakes up. After seeing Hikari, Asuka sees Shinji and falls asleep. The Angel arrives. Mari hijacks Unit 03 (more on that the next chapter) and fails immediately. Rei pilots Unit 01 and gets destroyed immediately. As Shinji converses with Unit 00, Asuka battles Zeruel akin to Shinji in the canon. On the surface, Unit 00 joins the fight. They both lose power. Rei does Rei stuff, gets herself absorbed into the Eva, and eats the S2 organ.

Damn, that's a lot to happen in just one chapter.

In the end, I opted to have Toji die and Mari live. Those were the two with targets on their heads. Hikari was never in danger of dying. Neither was Sakura.

Anyway, I purposefully did a few things that may initially seem odd. I killed Toji off-screen which's one of the major rules no one should break. Don't kill characters off-screen. I didn't see the point when the Toji, Hikari, and Train Car Rei scene seemed to be the better choice. I purposefully made Mari seem like a Mary-Sue which's another rule I shouldn't break. Mary-Sues are the spawn of Satan! Agreed, but she trashes Unit 03 immediately. Plus, all of her "awesomeness" mostly stems from the fact that she knows a shitton of shit. I didn't have many other ways to write her character due to what I know about her. I have more on her when I respond to your reviews.

Why did I make Mari and Rei get beaten so quickly? First, did you expect that? Fanfics are exciting when you don't know what happens next. Second, after a few views of that fight scene (one of my favorites) in the anime, I noticed something interesting. Zeruel wins the moment he seems to have control of the situation. Shinji basically never gave him a chance to recover during the fight (until he ran out of power). Mari and Rei, however, fought him in the open and with him as the aggressor. Despite Mari's general skill and the freaking dangerous combo of Rei+Unit 01, they never had a chance. Only a surprise attack or a berserking Eva could take down that Angel (in my opinion).

Oh, did I put Sakura in a coma just to "put her on a shelf" for a while? No. Why did I have her legs amputated? The effects of war are permanent. The last thing Sakura did with Rei was walk to school. Now, they'll never get to do that again unless… Anyway, this isn't a soap opera. Sakura will be out even though that scene will be hard to write. Toji and her father are dead while her "big sister" has been absorbed by an Eva. She's only nine. I'm legitimately sad. :(

What's up with Unit 00? I'd be willing to bet you've figured that piece of the puzzle out or at least have a strong hunch. If not, read the comments for this chapter. Someone's bound to comment on it (which's a great thing. Don't think I don't want that.)

Lastly, Shinji's final POV in this chapter started at about the same time as Asuka's and ended a little bit after that (during Rei's). Yes, he also got absorbed into Unit 00 and sent back out the moment it was safe enough. Just wanted to ensure that was cleared up.

Just as a side note, Asuka part of the fight was actually the most fun I've had writing any fight scene ever. I'm not even sure why, but it was a blast. :)

Replies to comments:

ADeadDieHard, still confused? I hope I managed to clear things up. If I didn't, please let me know. If you're still confused, then just about everyone else probably is too. Were your guesses you mentioned correct? Just curious.

I debated a lot over whether or not to replace "Jap" with "Japanese". It is generally a slur in most countries, including Britain and the USA. Mari should've known better, but she spoke before thinking. It didn't bother Hikari since she understood it wasn't intended to be offensive, just Mari shortening words down. Also… yeah, Mari's edgy too, so that doesn't help anything. Edgy + shooting mouth off + informal = not the best word choices.

Lautaro94, sorry. This chapter was pretty dark too. Though, I have piles upon piles of oneshots I'd like to do now. It's probably what I'll do when this fanfic reaches its ending.

Traitor of All Traitors, the next two chapters might explain a lot about why Gendo acts so cold. Still, he tried to help Rei… sorta… a little… kinda. Hey, at least Hikari got to say goodbye to Toji! I didn't kill or cripple her either.

PrometheusDark, confusion over Kaji's intentions was intentional. Having the spy be totally straightforward seems like a waste of a good character.

Did Rei tease Asuka? To tell you the truth, neither I nor Rei knows. Rei seems to have a very fine line with legitimately asking questions and teasing. At least, that's how I write her. Either way, she does care about how the two roommates interact. It was super fun to have Rei, Asuka, and Hikari talk to each other. Most of the time, I have a guy present if more than two characters are interacting. This time, I didn't and let the characters adlib quite a few parts of the scene. The adlibbed parts normally turn out to be the best too.

I guess you cried. Sakura was in the shelter. Now, she's a crippled, comatose orphan. I also feel like shit for doing that.

I had a few ways I could take Shinji's thought process. I ended up using a line from my chapter The Phone that Never Rings. "I'm a monster." Shinji decided to mentally beat the shit out of himself because he thought he deserved it. Is he all better now? No, and Rei being taken will… Well, you'll see.

Pacing fight scenes is hard for me. (I think I got it right this time!) I always fear I didn't say enough, said too much, or just made it all super boring. I didn't think I could convey a scene where it's just Eva vs. Angel (until now! Asuka vs. Zeruel seems right!)

Well, I'll be interested to see your reaction to Mari as time goes on. The interesting stuff with her is just getting started. Also… yeah. I agree. Her character feels lazily written in Rebuild, especially in comparison to the other pilots (except Angry Pirate Asuka from 3.33).

Cool! You work. I wonder who my readers are. Are they in school? Were they in school when the anime actually came out? Most prominently, do I even have one female reader? Maybe I'm weird, but just knowing you work is neat to know.

Well, this chapter gave us some more dread. We'll have two chapters of the aftermath and some big reveals. Then, we'll hit the three Angel that were perfectly crafted to annihilate all three pilots in the anime.

Poshboy, if you watched Rebuild, you wouldn't get a ton of info on Mari's character. She's had no character development at all. Essentially, she's an oddly good pilot who takes nothing seriously and has absolutely no friggen' back-story. Mine will have character development, a back-story that has actual relevancy, and…

…Well, I took inspiration on how to present Mari from this one show. The character showed up out of the blue, was totally out of sync with the tone of the other major characters, and ended up annoying a lot of the fans. Then, stuff got revealed at the end of the show that made people realize that she did actually fit into the show's themes, and she become one of the fan favorite characters. Her name was Asuka Langley Sohryu.

Like PrometheusDark, I'll be interested to see if you'll end up getting invested in Mari. If not, then it's my fault.

Thank you for pointing those errors out. I got those fixed. Spelling isn't exactly my strong suit. Hell, I googled strong suit because I didn't know if that needed an e or not. Also, thank you for, um, thanking me. At this point, any free time = Twins time. :)

As for what Asuka called the Fourth Angel, I chose that because… well, I figured that's what it'd be called. Asuka and Shinji haven't used the official designations much, and they're both early teens. Still, it did break the tone. Now, it's just "his second Angel." Thank you for the input!

Noteworthy things different from canon:

Toji died. Sakura lost both of her legs.

Shinji didn't run way, but Asuka tried to largely avoid everything.

Mari gets Unit 03 totaled; Rei, in Unit 01, gets decapitated.

Asuka beats back Zeruel with the help of a berserking Unit 00.

Unit 00 talks to Shinji.

Rei becomes absorbed into Unit 01 after ingesting the S2 engine.