Chapter Nineteen

You Really Got a Hold on Me

Jingle Mingle Ball

The Plaza Hotel

December 15th, 1991

New York City

Trying to loosen the band on his bowtie, Dusty looked around the ballroom of the Plaza Hotel. It was decorated to look like a complete Christmas Wonderland. Fake snow glistened in the trees that were brought in special for the event. The tables were lit with candles and were draped in white and blue to look like ice. Waiters carried around trays of champagne and Hors d'oeuvre that looked just about as pleasing to him as dirt.

"I don't know about this Suz." He turned looking at her, once again trying in vain to loosen his tie. "Why did we say we'd come here again? It's just a bunch of blowhards in suits. This ain't us."

"Because Al asked us to come," she swatted his hand away fixing his tie. "Her dads firm had 4 extra tickets. She thought it would be nice. And besides you never take me anywhere."

"What! Course I do! Just last month I took you to the monster truck rally with the all you can eat buffet. We stayed at the Motel Six and everything!"

"Oh be still my heart," she rolled her eyes.

"Pff…" he shook his head. "Where are they anyways? I wanna sit down, I'm hungry. And I don't like all these people lookin' at me."

"Why don't you go to the bar and get me a drink; something fancy." She looked towards the door. "I'm sure they'll be here soon."

"Do you know what a drink probably costs in this place!"

"It's an open bar Dusty! Jesus! And lower your voice. Stop acting like you were raised in a barn!"

"I'd rather be in a barn," he mumbled under his breath as he walked away.

Opening her purse Suz pulled out her compact and looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was up and she didn't put on as much makeup as she usually wore. She bought her dress from a second hand shop and her heels pinched her feet. She was definitely out of her comfort zone as she looked around at all the other women in their expensive gowns and jewelry.

"Mary Sue…Mary Sue is that you?"

Closing her compact she turned around seeing Alison's mom. "Hi Mrs. Richards.

"Well don't you just look darling," she smiled giving her a hug. "You look so beautiful."

"Thank you," she smiled. "And so do you. That's a very pretty dress."

"Well thank you Mary Sue. Have you seen my daughter?" Elaine looked around the ballroom. "There are a few people that I want to introduce her to."

She shook her head. "Her and Rufus aren't here yet, but I'm sure they're on their way."

"Well why don't you come and sit down," she rubbed her arm. "You're at Carrie's table with her new boyfriend."

"Oh…" she tried to fake smile. "That's….nice."

"We're so late!" Alison looked out of the window of the taxi. "My mom is going to be livid. I just know it! I know it! Sir can you please go faster?"

"I go fast! Too fast Ma'am," the cabbie looked in his rear view window. "Traffic jam!"

"Al calm down. It'll be fine. We're not that late."

"Well we wouldn't be late at all if you wouldn't have slept the day away after saying out all night with Aaron," she huffed. "You knew that we had to travel all the way into the city the next day but you stayed out anyways."

"Oh please," he rolled his eyes, as he shifted in his suit. "I'm not a kid."

"Well stop acting like one!"

"Then stop acting like my mother," he shot back.

Narrowing her eyes she gave him a dirty look and crossed her arms. "If you didn't want to come you could have just said so. I don't need you being a grump all night."

"I'm not a grump. And so what if I wanted to go out with Aaron last night. We had things to do."

"Oh what? Sit in a bar and drink? She laughed. "Yes that's SO important." Turning her head away from him she looked out at the darkened sky. She had no idea why she was actually fighting with him. He was just making her so damn mad today. He had promised that he'd come to her place after he'd left the bar and never did. Then he slept the entire day when they had plans to do lunch before hopping the train and going into town.

"What the hell is your problem?" he grew frustrated. "You on your period or something."

"Rufus, shut up." The cab stopped and she quickly opened the door. Grabbing her purse and scarf she stepped on the sidewalk and started up to the entrance of the hotel.

"Al!" he tossed some money to the driver. "Al wait. Come on!" Rounding the cab he jogged up the steps to the Plaza, the doorman pushing open the door for him. "Thanks," he mumbled. Looking around her saw her at the front table. "Al."

"We're at table 39." She took off her coat and handed it to coat check before taking her number.

"Wait," he grabbed ahold of her upper arm turning around and seeing her dress for the first time. Her hair was down and curled, the blonde a sharp contrast to her emerald green gown she wore.

"What!" she pulled her arm away.

"You look-"

"There you two are!" Suz walked up to him. "Al your mom is looking for you. And I don't think she's very happy."

"Of course she's not," she scowled. "I'm late!" Brushing passed Suz she walked into the ballroom.

"Whoa," she eyed Rufus. "What's wrong with her?

"You know Al," he sighed. "Miss Punctuality. And she's pissed at me because I was out all night with Aaron. And I missed some lunch or something. I don't know. She's acting all crazy." Shaking his head, he tried to loosen his bowtie. "God I hate events like this. I don't even know why she wanted to come so bad."

"You sound just like Dusty. You would have thought I killed his dog when I made him shave this morning. He cried like a little girl."

He laughed and looked at her for a moment. "I don't think I've ever seen you in a dress before. Not bad," he laughed.

"Oh shut the hell up! You have too," she crossed her arms. "I need another drink."

Will looked out the window of the Penthouse Suite of the Plaza Hotel. It had just started to snow and the flakes were gently hitting the glass. "Lil are you almost ready?" Taking another drink of Champagne he took a look at himself in the mirror, deciding if his tie was straight or not.

"Yes," she said from the bathroom. "Let me just grab my lipstick."

Setting down his champagne he walked over to the dining room table and picked up his box of cufflinks and pinned his sleeves. "I'm glad you decided to come with me on rotation. I know how much you like New York."

Walking out of the bathroom Lily sat her empty glass on the counter and started to place things into her purse. "I am too. There is nothing like Christmas in New York."

Walking up behind her he kissed her just below her ear. "There's nothing like you in New York."

"Oh stop," she laughed. "Besides I haven't been to the Jingle Mingle in years. You know it's my favorite social event." Closing her purse she caught their reflection in the mirror. Ever since Will had asked her to marry him he had been charming and whisking her off her feet to either weekend getaways or leaving her gifts when she least expected it. She still hadn't given him an answer and he had asked her three more times since then. Each time being harder to say no than the last.

"Ready?" he smiled and held his arm out to her.

"Mmm," she nodded taking his arm.

"Alison, Honey, I want you to meet your fathers boss. This is Mr. Schlesinger," Elaine smiled introducing him.

"Call me Rick," he held out his hand. "Mr. Schlesinger is my father. And he's old."

Alison laughed and shook his hand. "I want to thank you for giving my friends and I your extra tickets. That was very thoughtful."

"Don't even think anything of it," he smiled.

"Rick, Alison is finishing up her junior year at Boston Conservatory," Elaine nodded. "With honors."

"Is that so? What's your major?

"I'm double majoring in dance and art," she nodded. "I'm sure much to everyone's dismay."

"Oh what you don't want to be an architect like your old man?" he joked.

"Al?" Rufus walked up behind her. "Can we talk?"

"Mmm…" she looked between her mother and Rick. "Rick this is Rufus my….boyfriend," she swallowed. "Rufus this is Rick Schlesinger my fathers boss."

"Nice to meet you," he shook his hand.

"You go to school with Alison? he asked. "I bet it's hard to keep up with Miss Double Major here," he joked.

"No," he looked at his feet. "I don't go to school with her."

Elaine spoke up. "Rufus is a musician. He's in a band and travels a lot."

"A band? What's it's name. Maybe I heard of you," he took a drink of his beer.

"Lincoln Hawk, it's Rock n' Roll. We just finished up a Midwestern Tour not too long ago.

"Lincoln Hawk….Mmm….No I don't think I have." Looking over Rick noticed his wife waving him over. "Well I have to go. My wife is flaying over there," he chuckled. "And I can't ignore her forever. Alison, Rufus it was nice meeting you. And Elaine always a pleasure."

"Rick," she nodded touching his arm. Watching him walk away Elaine turned to her daughter and Rufus. "Well don't you two look cute. Stand next to each other," she grabbed her camera from the table. "I want a picture. Oh it's just like prom!"

Alison rolled her eyes. "Mom."

"Oh come on," she looked through the viewfinder. "A little closer Rufus."

Looking down at her, Rufus uncomfortably put his arm around Alison's waist and pulled her in.

"Say Cheese!"

"What table are we at?" Lily looked at the place card.

"Table four up front. We're sitting with Mayor Dinkins." Placing his hand on the small of her back in led her through the large ballroom. "Know anyone here?"

"A few people," she nodded looking around. "You?"

"I saw a few surgeons that I know." Making their way to the front, Will noticed a few couples on the dance floor. "You going to dance with me tonight?" he grinned in her ear.

"Perhaps," she kept her expression, feeling his hand ever so slowly dip lower. "Doctor this is neither the time nor place."

Grinned he dropped his hand, it just barely touching her behind. Stopping at their table he pulled her chair out for her.

"Thank you," she sat.

Sitting down next to her he took the bottle of Champagne that was in the center of the table and poured them each a glass. Holding his glass up to her he spoke low. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," she leaned over and gave him a quick kiss.

"So you haven't told me your plans while we're here," he placed his arm on her chair. 'What are you going to do for 5 weeks in the city?"

"Mmm….the spa and perhaps some shopping and I told your sister that I would help her plan some afternoon tea at The Russian Tearoom."

"Spa, shopping and parties," he nodded. "Got it."

Taking another drink Lily caught the back of a women that looked familiar to her, moving her head to take a closer look, her eyes turned large. "Suz?"

"Who?" Will turned around.

Lily moved again but then Mary Sue walked away. "No one," she shook her head realizing that it couldn't be her. Mary Sue would never be at an event like this. "

"Are you hungry?" he looked around. "There's an Hors d'oeuvre table. I can get us something. Dinner isn't for another hour."

"No, I'm alright," she shook her head.

Will moved in close. "Okay give me the low down on some of the people here. Who's married to whom? Who's having an affair and would have you dated?"

"Will," she laughed. "Stop."

"Come on," he tickled her side. "I like this game. Besides this is your crowd more than mine."

Sighing she looked around the room. "See that woman in the dark purple dress standing next to those two older gentlemen?" she pointed with her head.

"Mm…" he looked around. "Yes…yes I see them."

"That's Susie Anderson. I went to school with her in Santa Monica. I heard that she got married right after high school."

"So who's that man next to her?" he whispered. "Her grandfather?"

"No," Lily grinned. "Her husband."

"Oh….alright then."

Giggling she grinned when she noticed someone else. "Those two men in the corner by the bar over there…"

"What about them?"

"They're gay."

"So?" he shrugged. "Who isn't?"

"Why don't you ask their wives?" she held in a laugh. "They are sitting right behind us. Those poor women are so oblivious."

"Women are always the last to know."

Her brow narrowed. "Trying to tell me something van der Woodsen?"

"Please," he ran his finger across her collarbone. "If you don't know by now…"

"Something wrong with you and Rufus?" Mary Sue turned to Alison after dinner. "You guys don't seem like yourselves."

Alison watched Rufus and Dusty talking as they waited in line at the bar. "We're fine," she took a drink of water. "I just have a lot on my mind."

"Oh please," Carrie shot back from across the table. "You're being cold as ice. No sex for him tonight," she laughed.

"Carrie!" she quickly turned. "Shut up!"

"You're still so uptight," she took a drink of wine. "Perhaps Rufus is just annoyed that you haven't gotten that stick out of your butt yet."

"Carrie shut the fuck up," Mary Sue said from across the table. "Nobody wants or cares what you have to say. You're nothing but a stuck up, bitch with nothing to say."

'Excuse me!"

"Oh, you heard me," she rolled her eyes. Pulling Alison up from her chair they walked away. "God I hate your sister."

"These are the moments I do too." Walking up to the bar she stood behind Rufus.

"Hey," he said tentatively.

"Can you get me one of those red martini drinks?" she noticed a lot women walking around with them. "They look good."

"Sure," he smiled softly.

Looking out at the dance floor she noticed her parents dancing with a few other couples. She doubted that Rufus would ask her. He hated to dance and especially in front of people. After how the night was going he probably wasn't going to ask her to do much of anything.

"Here," he handed her the cocktail as he took his beer.

"Thanks," she took a sip.

Michael slipped in behind his daughter. "May I have this dance?" Alison grinned, recognizing his voice. "Of course," she sat her drink down and turned around. Following her dad out to the dance floor she took his hand and rested her chin on his shoulder.

"Are you having a nice time tonight honey?" Michael asked.

"Mmmhmm," she said softly. "Thank you for thinking of us."

"Of course." He was silent for a moment as he danced around with his daughter trying to remember the last time they had sat down to talk. "Mary Sue and Dusty sure clean up nice," he chuckled. "I know he's dying to take off that tie."

She laughed into her fathers shoulder. "I'm sure he is."

"Honey," he said tentatively. "Is everything alright with you and Rufus?"

She was silent for a moment, fighting with her emotions of what she wanted to say. She could always talk to her father. He was the only person that would ever listen to her completely and not judge. He was her rock. "We just got in a fight," she sighed. "He's just away so much. It's hard."

"It is hard to be away from the ones you love," he agreed.

"Sometimes I just…I don't think he ever makes me a priority. She felt tears sting the back of her eyes and she willed herself not to cry. "And then I feel selfish for thinking that he should. "

"Do you feel like you make him a priority?" he asked.

"I try," she nodded. "Its so hard between dance and school. But I try, I do, I try and make time."

"I know," he said softly not wanting to make her upset.

She stood by the back doorway getting some air while Will was making a call to the hospital. Looking out into the night she noticed the snow was really starting to come down. The trees in front of the plaza were covered in lights and now glistening with snow. Smiling she was so glad that she was going to be in New York over Christmas. Once she got a taste of snow, she hated not having it over Christmas when she was in California.

Walking down the hallway Rufus took off his bowtie and shoved it in his pocket. He needed some air. Tonight was a disaster and it was not going how he had planned. Putting his hand in his pocket he felt the ring box inside. He was thinking about proposing in front of Alison's family and their friends. Now, he knew that absolutely wasn't happening.

As he got closer to the back he noticed a woman standing in the doorway. Something about her looked familiar and as he got closer his breath caught in the back of his throat. "Lil…."

Turning around she was stunned for a moment. "Rufus?"

"What are you doing here?" They both said in unison. They both smiled and laughed softly. "I thought you were in California. I haven't seen you since….Sacramento," he said. "How..how are you?"

"I'm good," she smiled. "Just admiring the snow."

"It's snowing?" he walked closer to her to look out the door.

"Mmmhmm…" she looked at him in his tux. "What are you doing at an event like this. Doesn't seem like you."

"Al's dad's Boss gave us a couple extra tickets. She'd thought it'd be fun….she was wrong," he laughed.

"Is Suz here with you too?"

"Yeah, her and Dusty."

"I knew that was her!" she shook her head. "I just never thought….I just…."

"It's a hundred percent not us," he pulled his tie out of his pocket.

"Rufus," she laughed taking it from him. "Haven't you ever heard," she took his bowtie and wrapped it around his neck. "When in Rome…."

"Yeah….yeah," he swallowed, breathing in her scent and trying to calm his rising pulse. He hadn't been this close to her in sometime. "So you haven't told me. What are you doing here?"

"I'm here with Will," she said casually, tying his tie. "I'm in town for a few weeks."

"Will?"

Becoming uncomfortable under his gaze her hands shook a bit as she made a loop in his tie. She could smell his cologne and it was sending her into a tails spin. "He's a doctor I met out in California. We've been seeing each other for about nine months now," she nodded. He's on rotation at Lennox Hill."

"Nine months," he was impressed.

"What? Surprised?" she finished his tie and pulled it tight.

"No," he smirked. "I knew you'd find someone."

She looked up into Rufus's eyes and she could see sincerity in them and it made her slightly quiver.

"Cold?" he reached over her to close the door.

Backing away slightly she felt everything becoming a bit too much for her. Rufus, his smell, the look in his eyes, it was setting her back years and yet she couldn't pull away. The band started to play again and she couldn't tear her eyes from his. It was like a magnetic force was pulling them together.

"I don't like you

But I love you

Seems that I'm always

Thinkin' of you

Oh, ho, ho, you treat me badly

I love you madly

You've really got a hold on me"

"Do you want to dance?" he asked softly.

Swallowing hard she was fighting every demon of why she shouldn't in her head but she held her hand out anyways and the moment he took it a surge of energy went through her. She leaned into his embrace and they slowly started to sway.

Baby

I don't want you

But I need you

Don't wanna kiss you

But I need to

Oh, ho, ho You do me wrong now

My love is strong now

You've really got a hold on me

He had absolutely no idea what he was doing. It was like the moment he saw her everything flew out the window. The past few years, the fights, the tears, the relationships. It was just Lily and him and everything was okay. The way she fit into his arms was just like before and it felt normal.

I wanna leave you

Don't wanna stay here

Don't wanna spend another day here

Oh ho ho, I wanna split now

I just can't quit now

You've really got a hold on me

Alison was looking around everywhere for him after she finished her dance with her father. She wanted to apologize for how she was acting and wanted to talk to him about her concerns. She hated the rift that was coming between them. And if she was honest about it, she knew he had been acting different for the past few weeks, but he always assured her that it was okay.

"Did you find him?" Mary Sue came up behind her. "Dusty said he hasn't seen him either."

"Do…do you think he left?" she feared.

"No," she shook her head. "Rufus would never just leave you here. He wouldn't."

" I just don't understand." Turning the corner she started to walk down the back hallway.

"Maybe he just…." Mary Sue and her both stopped as they turned the corner and saw Rufus and Lily in each other's arms, their eyes closed, and swaying softly to the music.

Baby

I love you and all I want you to do

Is just

Hold me

Hold me

Hold me

You really got a hold on me….