Chapter 20

I am a coward.

Brooke hung her head in the shower of the small trailer. The water was surprisingly hot, and she watched as the mud that had caked her entire body liquefied and ran down the drain. As it did, minor scratches and bruises began to appear on her arms, legs, and abdomen. She assumed they were from her perch high in the trees.

She shuddered when she thought of the raptors and how quickly they had found her. She and Sarah had convinced Thorne and Ian and Richard to move the trailers to a new, more secure location (well, as secure as they could get) than their last. Both women were sure that the raptors would return to the tree where Brooke had been hiding, and possibly trace the scent of the new group right back to the trailer. Ian didn't need much convincing, and went to immediately try and contact Hammond and InGen for resources to get home.

But there was a storm. It wasn't to pass directly over the island, but around it and right in between the waters that separated them from civilization. It would make the waters impassable by small boat.

Ian's eyes had gone all glassy and far away. Another storm. He remembered what happened during the last storm, even though it all happened because of the foolishness and greed of one stupid man. The boat wouldn't be able to cross the waters to the island for at least 18 hours. They were stuck here on this island for at least that long.

Brooke's breathing hitched and began to quicken with her heart rate as she thought of all the possibilities of what could go wrong. A lot could go wrong. She could die. There was a high probability she was going to die. She was a fool.

A fool and a coward.

As the vehicles were in transit, Brooke, Ian, Doc Thorne, Sarah, and Richard had a meeting about the newest addition to their party, and about the concerns of transportation off the island.

Now that Richard was safe and sound, he had returned to his pompous, pain-in-the-ass ways. He declared that he was to stay on the island for as long as possible and continue his research, and that anyone who wished to could stay with him.

There were no volunteers.

Ian and Sarah and Doc were more concerned with finding the source of the madness of Site B. They theorized that there must still be working equipment and machinery for there to be any sort of power on the island. They tried asking Hammond, but the phone cut out before he could give a proper answer. So the old man had documents—schematics of the island—sent digitally to the lab vehicle's computer system. They were set to find the source of power, perhaps somewhere safe where they could hide.

Kelly complicated things. There were areas of the jungle they had to pass through that the vehicles simply could not go through. The team would have to get out and walk at least part of the way, and Ian certainly was not having that. He wanted his daughter to stay in the vehicle at all times or at least until they found somewhere safer than that.

That's when Brooke spoke up.

"What about the high-hide?" she asked, and received several reproachful glances. "We're stuck here for at least a day, right? Well, if you can get this vehicle close enough to grazing land, we can string up the high-hide way up one of the trees, guesstimate around 100 or so feet, just about as high as one of the largest animals. I can set up the tree-traps as I did for the last one, and Kelly and I could stay there. She would be safe—well as safe as she could be—with me, and I could do my research." She leaned back in her chair just slightly, trying to create an offhand façade, despite the terror that flipped and turned her stomach. She turned to Levine. "If we're going to be stuck here, I might as well get paid."

To her surprise, Brooke's idea was widely accepted. They tweaked the plan just a bit, and Brooke of course had to agree to some conditions of Kelly's care. The vehicles would be parked not to far away from the high-hide site, so if they needed supplies or to use the restroom or anything like that, it wasn't a long walk. If they needed any supplies, it was Brooke who was to go down—alone—to get them while Kelly managed the radio just in case something happened to Brooke. They were only to bring water and food that could be eaten entirely and cleanly—the last thing they wanted was to lead a scent trail right to their hiding spot.

Brooke was a coward. She didn't give a rat's ass about the research, she just wanted to save her own skin. Kelly gave her the opportunity to do that. After the meeting had adjourned and Ian walked her back to the living quarters to take her shower, she tried to convince Ian to join her and Kelly in the high hide.

"What if something happens to you?" she asked as they walked into the trailer. Ian nearly slammed the door behind him.

"You should have thought about that before," he replied, and Brooke's chest tightened as she turned to face him. "You should have—you should have listened to me, Brooke! What did I tell you? I thought—well I thought you were smarter than this. I thought you were—" He stopped, and Brooke could see the anger in his eyes. She couldn't blame him for being angry and scared. She couldn't blame him for hating her.

"I'm sorry," was all she could reply. He stared at her incredulously, and she felt dwarfed by him as he stood over her. "I love you," she whispered.

Ian's hands clenched and he thrust the shirt she'd be borrowing for after the shower at her. She startled slightly, but took it quickly. As soon as the fabric left his hands, Ian turned around and left, once again slamming the door behind him. Brooke was left alone in the trailer, tears welling up in her eyes, her entire body trembling with fear.

What had she done?

When she stepped out of the shower, she wrapped herself tightly in a towel and opened the door of the small bathroom to let out the steam. Assuming she was alone, she walked out, clutching the towel to her. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw she was not the only one in the trailer.

"Christ, Ian, you scared me!" she exclaimed, taking a few deep breaths and backtracking toward the bathroom. Ian turned from the window he was gazing out of and looked over to her.

"I'm sorry," he replied. "I ah, I assumed you heard me come in."

"What are you doing?"

"I promised I wouldn't leave you alone."

"Oh…" Brooke replied with a slight nod. She wanted to smile, just slightly, to show her appreciation, but the morose look on Ian's face stopped her. So she nodded again and said: "Yeah…thank you," before returning to the bathroom and shutting the door behind her.

After she had toweled off and rinsed her clothes, she put on Ian's shirt over an otherwise bare body. She was thankful for Ian's long, broad, build, because the shirt managed to fit over her curvy frame and cover her to her mid-thigh. She opened the door and stepped out to brush her hair, and to hang her damp clothes over the bar near the door so they would hopefully dry quickly. She finished brushing her hair and placed it down.

Finally she turned to Ian, who was sitting at the small table in the corner. He was watching her carefully, his expression stern. She felt like a small child that had misbehaved, and she tugged at the hem of his shirt. She didn't know what to say to him.

"You should sleep," he told her, looking away from her and out the window. "I expect you won't be getting much after we get moving."

Brooke stood there in front of him for a few seconds, waiting for him to turn around again. When he didn't, she nodded to herself, bit her lip, and turned to walk to the opposite side of the trailer, where they had originally found Kelly. She crawled into bed, facing away from Ian, and turned her body toward the wall.

There were a few minutes of silence, and Brooke tossed and turned a bit in an attempt to get comfortable enough to fall asleep. She glanced back at Ian, who was still staring out the window. She turned back to the wall, took a deep breath and asked: "Why did you come?"

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Are—you can't be serious."

Brooke shook her head and drew the covers over her most of her face. She felt like a scolded child, so she almost didn't feel guilty about acting like one. Despite being called an "old soul" her entire life, despite having "accomplished more than the average 30 year-old", despite everything, she was still young, and she was terrified. She was terrified of losing Ian, and she was terrified of dying without seeing anyone she loved ever again. She wanted to shut her eyes, and then wake up from this terrible nightmare.

"Hey." Ian had moved next to the bed, and by the sound of his voice, he had knelt next to her.

Brooke rolled over timidly, the covers still hiding the majority of her face. Ian's expression had softened, and he gently pulled the cover away from Brooke's face. He gently ran his fingers along her jawline, and she tentatively nuzzled into his touch.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, closing her eyes and relishing his touch as he cupped her face in his hand. "I was stupid. I'm an idiot. I'm selfish. I got drawn in by the money. Do you know how many doors it will open for—well I'm sure it doesn't even matter anymore. I'm an idiot. I'm sorry." She took a deep breath and opened her eyes to meet Ian's.

"I forget sometimes," he said. "I forget that you are young and that, uh, you're entitled to make some stupid decisions. A couple of years ago, I was the idiot. You were being selfish though, because, uh, you underestimated me. You disregarded all the people—the people who love you. I came here, uh, because I wasn't about to let someone I love di—ah, get into serious trouble."

"I love you," Brooke whispered. "But I understand if you can never forgive me for this."

"I love you too," Ian replied, and then pushed back the covers and slipped out of his shoes and into bed with her. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to his chest. He kissed the top of her head as she snuggled in next to him. "If we, uh, if we manage to get out alive, I'll forgive you."