A/N: First I would like to say thank you so much for reading. I love writing this story and am glad that people actually like this. So here is the new chapter. I hope you like it and please review.

Chapter 18

I walk off the stage, still letting my tears flow freely, and quickly walk to my dressing room dodging everyone who tried to stop me. Once in my dressing room I close and lock the door behind me and walk to the vanity. I bend over to rest my hands on the table and slowly lift my head up to look at myself in the mirror. I look worse than I thought. My make-up is completely no existent expect for the black stains on my cheeks and my eyes are as red and puffy. I stare at myself for a few seconds before grabbing the closes thing to me and chunking it at the mirror, shattering the glass and my reflection. I stare at my new shattered reflection and realize that my reflection represents how I feel inside perfectly.

I am such a stupid person. How could I go out there and sing one song about hating Tommy and then not ten minutes later sing a song about how much I love him? I am so stupid. No I am beyond stupid. I am…shit I don't even know what I am. I feel so confused and…and broken inside. Ever since Tommy told me we need to cool it when I was in the hospital I have felt so broken inside. I have felt so alone and though I have had so much fun these past two months I still haven't felt anything but broken. I can't even figure out why I feel so bad. Maybe it is Tommy or maybe I am just messed up. I just want to feel not broken. I want…

I am pulled out of my thoughts by a knock on my door. "Jude"

"Go away!" I yell not caring who it is.

"Jude it's your parents let us in." Stuart says through the door. Shit I don't want to deal with them.

"One second" I yell as I quickly wipe my face and throw a blanket over the mirror to hide my break down. I walk over to the door and open it to see the smiling faces of my parents.

"Jude, you were so amazing." Vicki says as she pulls me into a hug.

"Amazing as always honey." Stuart says pulling me into a hug after my mom releases me.

"Thanks" I say emotionless.

"Baby sis you rocked it!" Ryan yells as he enters the room. "I will deny saying that if anyone ever asks." He quickly adds

"Thanks Ryan." I say a little sarcastically.

"So did you have good summer?" Vicki asks

"Amazing, I love it here." I reply forcing some excitement into my voice.

"Well I am glad you had fun, but it is time to go home." Stuart says

"I know my bags are back in my cabin." I state

"Thanks for informing us. We will go get them and pack up the car while you say goodbye to your friends." Vicki says noticing Alice standing in the doorway.

"Thanks." I reply as my family leaves the room and Alice enters closing the door behind her.

"Jude, what happened?" Alice asks

"What do you mean?" I question walking over to the couch to sit down and Alice follows.

"You walked off the stage crying and ignored everyone." Alice states concern dripping from her voice.

"You know I have trouble signing that song." I say hoping she won't dig any deeper.

"Not like that, you were practically bawling." Alice states. "So I ask again, what happened?"

I sigh before replying, "Tommy came back during the song. I couldn't look away once I made eye contact with him and when I finished I noticed he was holding back tears. I just lost it."

"Oh Jude" Alice says pulling me into a hug as I start crying again. "You need to go find him right now and talk to him."

"I can't" I cry out.

"You need to or everything you two have will be lost forever. We both know that losing him would destroy you even more than you already are." Alice says and notices the confused look on my face and continues. "Yes I know how broken up inside you are. I'm not stupid, plus I have heard some of those songs you write late at night when you think everyone are asleep."

"Why haven't you said anything before?" I question

"I figured you would talk to me when you were ready." Alice states

"You are such a great friend." I say pulling her back into a hug.

"I know" Alice says with a giggle which makes me start to laugh.

"Jude" A knock and voice at the door interrupts our laughing.

"It's Tommy" I whisper hoping he doesn't hear me.

"Talk to him." Alice says as she gets up and opens the door. "So you are the infamous Tommy that I have heard so much about this summer." Alice says with a smile.

"I guess I am." Tommy says with a chuckle

"Well it is nice to meet you. I'm Alice and I was just leaving." Alice says as she walks out the door. "Bye Jude!" She yells from the hall.

I stare at Tommy just standing in the doorway for a few seconds before I speak. "Hey" I shyly say looking down into my lap.

"Hey" Tommy replies as he walks towards me closing the door behind him. He sits down on the couch next to me and we sit in silence for what feels like days but in reality were only a few minutes before he speaks again. "You did great."

"Thanks" I reply still not looking up from my lap.

"Jude, could you please look at me." Tommy pleads

"I can't." I reply simply

"I'm not mad if that helps." Tommy says reassuring

"You should be." I say looking up at him before continuing. "That song was so mean and I never meant for anyone to hear. I only wrote it because I was so pissed at myself for not being able to get over you." I explain.

"Jude, I get you're mad at…" Tommy starts the reply he had planned but stops when my words register. "Wait you wrote it because you were pissed at yourself?" Tommy asks confused

"Yes" I whisper out looking back down at my lap.

"Why would you be pissed at yourself? I understand you being pissed at me but you have no reason to be pissed at yourself." Tommy says

"I'm not mad at you." I reply trying to avoid his question.

"That's good, but why were you mad at yourself?" Tommy questions not letting me dodge the question.

"That is none of your business." I simply say

"Fine don't tell me." Tommy bites out getting frustrated. "If you would answer that question than answer me this, what was that second song about?"

"Again, none of your business" I reply.

"Seriously, just answer my questions." Tommy replies the frustration evident in his voice.

"Why, it's not like we are friends anymore." I reply dryly.

"That was your choice, not mine. I wanted to stay friends but you pushed me away." Tommy replies raising his voice a little with each word.

"Fine if you want to know so badly, that song was about you!" I yell out as a stand up. "The whole summer I tried to get over you. I tried to forget you even existed but no matter what I did I couldn't get you off my mind. Every song I wrote was about you. I hated that you weren't here with me and I hated being apart from you. I felt like a piece of me was missing. Shit I will just flat out say it that I missed you so much this summer." I say as tears start to fall from my eyes.

"Jude" Tommy simply says just looking at me. After a few seconds of silence he starts talking. "Jude, I missed you too. I couldn't get you out of my head no matter how hard I tried. I wanted to be with you every second of every day. The whole summer I tried to get over you, but it didn't work. I never realized until these past few months just how important you are to me."

"Tommy" I say tears still rolling down my cheeks. Tommy pulls me into a hug and holds me tight for a few minutes.

"I'm sorry about the song." I say my voiced muffled against his chest.

"It's okay, it hurt at first but I don't care anymore." Tommy says pulling out of the hug.

"I should have never sung it and I felt so horrible after I finished." I ramble out.

"Jude, its fine, let's just forget it ever happened." Tommy says with a smile.

I nod in agreement and Tommy pulls me back into a hug. We stay like that for a while until he speaks up.

"Jude, as much as I need you in my life I don't think it will work." Tommy says as I pull away from him.

"What are you talking about?" I question confused and a little angry.

"Every time I am near you it takes every ounce of me to keep from kissing you. I can't take that. I want to be with you so bad that it hurts to not be with you." Tommy explains

"Tommy, you said you needed me in your life. Why are you doing this?" I question getting angrier.

"I know, but I can't do this." Tommy says starting to walk towards the door.

"You have to be kidding me!" I yell

"I'm sorry" Tommy says as he reaches for the doorknob.

I grab a pillow from the couch and chunk it at him and hit him in the head. Tommy turns around confused by my actions.

"You don't get to do this to me again!" I yell as I walk over to him. "Every time we get close to being okay you have to go and screw everything up. Why can't we just be happy?" I question

"Jude, please just drop this." Tommy says turning back towards the door.

"Oh hell no, you are not leaving this room until you explain to me why you always have to destroy us?" I yell pulling him to face me.

"Jude, I can't. Just let me go. Move on and forget whatever this thing we had between us." Tommy says as he turns and leaves the room.

"Tommy!" I yell at his retreating form. I walk into the hallway and run in the direction he left in. I see him about to leave the back stage area but before he does I yell, "I hate you Tommy Quincy!" Tommy pauses for a split second but continues out the door.

I stand in the middle of the hall just staring at the door Tommy left throw. I am snapped out of my haze by someone tapping on my shoulder. I turn around to see Lance standing there looking concerned.

"Jude are you okay?" Lance asks.

I stare at him, his words not registering in my head. I fling my arms around his neck and start crying into his shoulder.

"Jude, let's get you back to your dressing room and we can talk." Lance says pulling me with him towards my dressing room as I still cry into his shoulder. We walk into my dressing room and Lance sits us down on the couch before asking, "What happened?"

"Tommy" I say between sobs.

"What he do this time?" Lance asks with a hint of frustration in his voice.

"He…He…told me to…forget him…and everything we had…" I say in between sobs.

"Then maybe you should forget him." Lance states.

"I can't" I reply.

"Maybe you just need a little help." Lance says with a smile on his face.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I question looking up at him.

"This" Lance says as he leans in and crashes his lips against mine.