As of now, this story is rated M.

Another intense one heading your way. Good; bad? Thank the almighty lord for a Review button on this website :D

Again, i hope you guys like this. This chapter focuses on the aftermath of Jo's attack, as well as some of the upcoming chapters. Then we'll check back into the present with Kendall and Jo in her dorm and see how she's doing in there too, and some of the drama that'll be revealed then :0 Wait no, gah! I've said too much :(

Oh and one more thing, check out my new KenJo oneshot if you haven't already, "Whoever She Is." I'm really proud of it. I finally went back to it today and fixed all the typos, maybe added an extra line or two of dialogue in there, etc. If you read it sometime before today, please go back and re-read it. You'll probably like it even more this time. And leave a review for that, too (if you wouldn't mind :) )

So... "Bittersweet" preview? Here's a snippet of Chapter 8 for ya:

"Kendall, Taylor needs to be fed," my mom said exasperated, coming from the basement with a basket of laundry. I didn't even acknowledge her. I just kept staring at the black screen of the big screen television, all old tapes and DVDs around me, some stacks graced with beer bottles.

"So feed her," I said miserably, my voice raspy, as I sunk back further into the couch, my eyes scanning the DVDs trying to figure out which one came next. My mother sighed angrily and looked at me with wide eyes.

"Why don't you? She is your daughter, Kendall. You haven't spent two minutes with her since she was born," she said annoyed, her eyes narrowing as the rested the laundry on the love seat a few feet away. I really couldn't care less about hurting her feelings right now. It was what I was feeling that counted.

"I can't. I don't know how," I croaked out, searching through the DVDs for the next one I wanted to watch. I could finally watch them. I was numb to the pain now.

"That's a pretty sad excuse. Why don't you stop drinking and go in there and take care of your daughter," she snapped back angrily.

"I can't right now, I'm busy," I mumbled out confused, my eyes scanning for the next disc to pop in.

"Kendall, I'm not going to be here forever, alright? It's been two months. I know it still hurts, baby, believe me I know but you have to learn how to take care of Taylor. I have to show you things. That's why I am here. Your daughter doesn't even know who you are right now," she said sternly but with love. I looked up at her with shaky, teary eyes.

"Good. She doesn't want to know me," I said angrily, my voice raising. I always tended to get angry when tipsy.

"That's not true. She loves you. But you have to start taking care of her. I can't do it by myself," she said, folding some bath towels. Her eyes darted across the messy living room and she sighed annoyed and disappointed.

"You have to get out of this depression, sweetheart. What if Jo saw you like this?" she asked sincerely. My eyes got wide when she said her name.

"Don't!—say her name," I yelled out angrily, standing up and pointing at my mother accusingly, my heart racing. "Don't guilt me, mom! I lost my wife," I said angrily. "I lost the most beautiful woman in the world, the only woman I've ever been with, the mother of my child!" I cried out angrily, my mo's face tensing. I breathed heavily, as my emotions took over.

"And she's not coming back," I cried defeated.

My shaky hands, and thrown off perception (thank you alcohol) easily caused me to knock down a small stack of home movies I had already watched with my foot.

"Shit," I mumbled heart wrenchingly, running my hands through my hair in agony, as I hung my head miserably, kicking a stack of DVDs down that I hadn't watched yet before sitting. I began to slowly cry into my hands, totally emotionally exhausted.

She came next to me and put a hand on my knee, another on my back as she pulled me to her, and kissed my hair gently. It was like I was five again, and had scraped my knee during hockey. I could only wish for that sort of hurt, knowing what real pain felt like now.

"I know, sweetheart," she spoke soothingly. "But you need to move forward. Taylor needs you. I'm not saying that you have to get over her death, or the fact that you lost her. But you need to care for that little girl in there, Kendall," she said softly and sadly, a small tear leaking out of her eye. "She needs you."

I looked up at her and swallowed hard. My mind felt like exploding. How could I tell my mother that the reason I had been neglecting my daughter, the only salvage in my life, was because I felt guilty?

I had taken her mother away from her. I had killed Jo. How was she ever supposed to love me?

"I can't…I-I can't look at her, mom," I cried hysterically, burying my face in her shoulder in anguish.

Oh come on, you know you want to read it! Go ahead, read it... NOW.

Disclaimer: Most (if not, all) of the characters mentioned in this story belong to Scott Fellows and Nickelodeon. All songs I mention belong to their rightful owners. All title rights go to ABC Family. I only own NJU and Jack's Diner.

WARNING: This chapter deals with rape-related topics. If you're uncomfortable, don't read.

"…Bring Amber into her room and get back here!" I heard a male voice call. It sounded fuzzy, but I could still make out the words. Everything from my chest up hurt me, but it was more of a stinging type of pain, nothing life-threatening… I hoped. Where am I? I felt like I was being carried, but couldn't tell if it was by a person or one of those hospital stretchers that carry you into an ambulance.

I tried to open my eyes to see what was happening, but it was super bright. Plus, images were still kind of fuzzy and blurry, so I couldn't make out anything even if I wanted to. My eyes closed again instantly, and a groan elicited its way from my hoarse throat.

"Here, get her in here," a different voice, a girl this time, called from a short distance. Whatever was carrying me sped its trek down, well, wherever we were, and rushed in her direction. I heard a door swing open and before I knew it, I was moved onto a softer surface. A bed, I finally concluded. I heard myself groan again, whether it was voluntarily or not I couldn't tell, and then the guy spoke again.

"Well, she's conscious, that's a start," he said optimistically with a soft chuckle. Hey buddy, this isn't funny! I felt a calloused hand touch one side of my face, applying pressure softly. I felt pain coarse right through my head, making my already throbbing headache worse at the slight touch, and I tensed immediately. "Shit, there's some bruising on here," he reported to I guess whoever was in the room, probably that same girl who told him to come in here. No shit, I thought I broke a nail. He still didn't move his hand away. In fact, he slid it up slowly towards my forehead, his thumb stroking an area near my hairline gently. I heard the girl ask another question or two, her tone almost hysterical, but she was too far for me to make out anything she was saying clearly. She was asking about me though, I could tell. I mean, what other battered girl was in there in here? Unless I'm in a raped-person-care center of the sort. "No, it's not deep, I don't think the ER would do anything about it if we brought her in," he answered her. Wait, did that mean I was bleeding? What's happening to me? Fuck that, what happened to me? Wait, he said the ER wouldn't do anything, so I'm not in a hospital. Where am I?

The guy spoke again. "Please tell me there's a first aid kit or something in here," he said.

"Yeah, I think there's one in here somewhere," the girl answered, followed by heels clicking against the floor as she searched… where am I again? I asked that like five fucking times already!

"Jo… Jo, hey, wake up sleepyhead," the guy asked, putting a hand on my shoulder and gently shaking me in an attempt to bring me out of my oh so peaceful slumber. Hey, I recognize that voice now.

I heard a door open. "How is she?" a new girl asked in a rushed voice. I recognized that one, too! It was Natalie, I think. Or was it Camille? No, it was definitely Natalie…

"Not good," the guy voice answered. Will. "She's not bad, but not great either," he added.

The girl I thought was Natalie spoke up again. "She's still not awake yet?" she asked, her tone near frantic. "Should we call an ambulance or something? What if its something more than actually sleeping, Will? What if Jett tried to drug her and we don't know about it? What if-"

"Camille, zip it!" Will exclaimed, trying to hold in a chuckle. Wow, I was off. "Jo is fine, I promise. I don't see any serious injuries, she was moaning in her sleep a while ago, she'll wake up soon and all will be right in the world again," he said.

As if on cue, I let out another groan to help prove his point. But I wasn't the one who initiated it, you know?

It went unnoticed as far as I knew. "Still, what about that cut on her forehead? Won't she need stitches for that or something? You know, head injuries are traumatic and you can lose more blood from there than any other part of the body, and-"

"Camille!" Will exclaimed for the fifth time, already trying to get her to shut up during her rant. "Relax… take a deep breath, okay?" he suggested. Camille obliged to his request. "Go lie down for a sec. You were on stage for three hours tonight, you had a lot to drink, you're tired, just go relax and calm down for a minute. Jo's in good hands, I swear," he said, ending with a light chuckle. "Besides, you know me, I'd never try to kill her… at this point, anyway," he ended smugly.

Wow, love the vote of confidence, buddy.

"And Camille, don't forget, Will was on the Cape May EMT squad for a few years, I think he knows what he's doing," the original girl voice spoke, coming over to join them. Now that sounded more like Natalie.

Camille let out a breath. "Right…" I heard her sigh.

"Did you find anything?" Will then asked Natalie.

"Just a few Band-Aids," she answered casually. I imagined her handing them over to him. "That's all you need anyway, right?"

Will chuckled lightly. "Yeah, this and whatever you-" he paused, my guess to point at Camille, "take for your weekly hangovers," he ended with an amused-sounding voice. "She'll definitely have it bad tomorrow morning," he added. Oh boy, just what I always wanted, a hangover right before my first class of the week. Now that he mentioned it, I did feel a little lightheaded. And the sharp headache wasn't making anything better for me, either!

"I'll go find the Advil, then," Camille responded lightly.

Grr, why can't I open my eyes at all? I wanna see what's going on. Heck, I want someone to actually tell me what's going on, or what happened after Jett hit me. I want Kendall to be here and take care of me. I mean, I love Will, and I trust him (mostly) and all, but it's not the same.

"Jo, wake up…" Will voice urged me, a hand shaking my shoulder again. "C'mon, up and at 'em, Jozilla," he continued as I felt something like a piece of tape be put on my forehead.

My eyes opened slowly at the new physical contact, and everything went downhill from there. All common sense left my system, and everything from the night flooded back into my mind. My entire body tensed up instantly, sensing that there was someone on top of me once again. I forgot everything I had just heard, and forgot about where I was and who was in there with me. All I saw was a guy's body towering over me and touching my face as I started muttering "No," repeatedly.

"Jo?" one of the girls asked. I couldn't pinpoint who it was.

I closed my eyes tightly again. "Get off…" I nearly begged, desperation in my voice.

"Jo-"

"Get off!" I cried out, shoving the guy off of me completely thinking he was Jett. My eyes were only half-open at this point, and my vision still wasn't back to normal. Damn booze. My head still throbbed too, which really wasn't helping the matter! Things continued to go uphill from there. "Get out, leave me alone!" I screamed directly at Will, grabbing a pillow from behind me and violently flung it in his direction as tears started cascading down my face. It actually knocked his glasses off his head, making them land on the floor in front of him.

"Jo. Jo, it's just Will," Camille said worriedly as Will bent down to grab his glasses once again and put them on.

That didn't bring me out of whatever trance I was in. "Get out!" I screamed again. "Get out, get out, get out!" I continued to cry, throwing another pillow at the two. Natalie had distanced herself away from me at this point. I don't blame her. I collapsed back down onto the bed and turned so I was crying into the sheets and comforter. It wasn't hysterical, but it wasn't something anyone would want to stick around and watch either, you know? And it certainly wasn't loud enough to drown out the three's voices as they talked about how to deal with me.

"What's wrong with her?" Camille started to ask. "Why did she just lash out on us like that?"

"She's in shock, I guess," Will answered her. I fully recognized his voice again, even through my own sobs, and wanted to cry harder for treating him so badly. "Any guy that goes near her will scare the living daylights out of her for a while. Even when the guys and I came into the room and I went over to her, she started throwing punches at me and shoving me away from her like just then," he explained. Wait, when were there other guys in that bedroom? Was that the excess screaming I had heard before blacking out? Now that makes a little more sense…

"Hey don't worry about it," Will said after a moment of talking with the girls and reassuring them I'd be okay. "I'm gonna go check on Amber and see how she's doing… Text me if there's any change," he got out before stepping out of the room. Oh God, what happened to Amber? Don't tell me Jett or one of his posse got to her and did this, too…

My crying had subsided a little bit at this point, way under the hysterical level on the cry-dometer, if there was such a thing. I felt the bed sink in next to me and a hand start rubbing my bare arm up and down soothingly. "Jo…" Camille said softly, trying to calm me down. "Jo, it's okay. Everything's done and over with, you have nothing to worry about," she told me. I continued crying softly for another while before fully recovering from my outburst and sat up in my bed. My eyes flashed around our dorm quickly, noticing that Natalie had left along with Will- Oh God, Will. What did I do to him tonight? How was he feeling? Did I hurt him? Emotionally, physically? Shit, that won't be a fun meeting when I see him again.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Camille asked, still keeping a hand on my arm as an extra reassurance in case I needed it.

I sniffled and shrugged my shoulders. "Suckish," I muttered, bringing my hands up to wipe any remaining tear streaks from my face.

The brunette smiled sympathetically. "That's understandable," she said after a few seconds, obviously choosing her words carefully. I nodded back as we heard a cell phone ring from her bag. Camille reached down for it and took out my phone, glancing at the Caller ID. I had stuffed mine in there along with hers earlier in the night before we got to the beach house. "It's Kendall," she responded.

I shook my head. Shit. "No… no, no, I can't answer that," I said, shoving the phone down and away from me.

Camille looked almost shocked. "What? Come on, Jo, answer it," she urged, pushing the phone closer to me.

"No, I don't even want to think about talking to Kendall right now!" I fought, pushing the phone in her direction. I knew that would turn out to be a bad idea sometime soon, but didn't think about it.

"Come on – he knows you were at a party tonight, he probably just wants to check up on you," Camille said.

"Fine, you want him to know what's going on with me? You answer it!" I shouted back, grimacing. I knew I would win then. Camille never liked to interfere with anyone's personal business like this. But here's the thing with her: she needs to know what's going on or what happened to someone. However, she'd never tell a soul anything that had nothing to do with the issue. And that was the point I was trying to get across to her, that none of this was Kendall's business and that it never would be. So ha, I win!

She shrugged. "Fine," she answered, picking up the cell phone. Uh-oh. I didn't expect that.

"No," I muttered again. "No, no, no, Camille, you better fucking not-"

"Hello," she answered the call casually.

"Give me the phone!" I exclaimed angrily. "Camille, stop!" I tried again, feeling more tears spring to my eyes. Didn't I just get over my previous breakdown? But she continued to ignore me and talk with Kendall. "No, Camille, Camille," I sobbed, collapsing on my bed once again and sobbing softly. Camille continued talking to Kendall, completely going against my wishes. I heard a door open meanwhile and felt my bed sink in again a moment later. I distinctively heard Natalie's voice say soothing and comforting words like Camille had done not two minutes ago, but nothing was working on me right now.

It seemed like everything in my life that I felt I had handled was fraying apart at the seams. First Kendall walked into my life and shook things up for me mentally, and then the Jett aspect of my life came back into play. Kendall and I have been separated for about a month now. Jett was up here with his buddies after I thought I was done with him for good. And tonight… must I say it? No? Oh thank God. Now, Camille was, for lack of a better term right now, betraying my trust and was about to blab to Kendall everything that happened earlier tonight. I get it, I get why she feels like he needs to know, but it's my life, and even though I feel such an incredible, near unbreakable bond with Kendall (despite our short period of time that we've known each other), I don't feel that connected with him to really tell him what happened. Maybe if we have been together in the same place for the last month and he had gone to the party with us, I'd feel differently. I mean, those are reasonable excuses for why I don't want him to know, right? I'm not going insane yet.

Plus, wouldn't it be more meaningful for me to tell him in person anyway? That's how I'd figured it would happen, if I decided to tell him…

My sobs had subsided briefly for a minute and I could hear Camille talking with Kendall still on the phone. "I don't know, just… some personal shit kind of went down between them earlier tonight…" she trailed off.

Fuck, no. Don't say it, do not say it. "Camille…" I heard myself sobbed beggingly again, not even sure if it was audible to her through my cries.

"Jo, she won't say anything," I heard Natalie say, her hand softly rubbing up and down my back to try and shush me.

"Hold on, I'm gonna step outside for a sec," Camille's voice said, and I could hear her footsteps as she went out our door. I cried out again for her to not do anything, losing all of my trust in her with future phone calls.

Natalie spoke up. "Camille, maybe you shouldn't…" she said worriedly. Now that is a true friend right there.

I turned my head and faced the two of them. "P-Please…" I whimpered one last time, sniffling again.

Camille stepped forward when she heard me speak. The phone was now facing her shoulder, the speaker part pressed into her shoulder so Kendall wouldn't hear what was going on over here. "Jo, I really think he should know at some point," she said, kneeling down and moving some hair out of my face. "Now is the perfect opportunity," she added in a slight optimistic tone.

"But I don't want him to know yet!" I shot back.

She sighed sadly and turned back to Natalie. "Try to calm her down, I'll be back in a minute," she told her, standing up and making her way to the door.

I turned my head and cried softly into the remaining pillows on my bed again. It wasn't as bad as when Natalie had stepped into the room, though, I noticed. I couldn't figure out what, but something in my head sort of told me that the sooner I stopped, the more likely Camille wouldn't say anything, and then maybe let me talk to him. Natalie had done what Camille instructed her to do, but I didn't pay attention to anything she said or did.

A little while later, my tears had subsided again for a while, and I was determined to keep it that way for as long as possible. Seeing I was better, Natalie said she would step out and check on Camille. That left me alone with my thoughts in the dorm, whimpering on occasion while I played with a loose thread or two on the sheets. It probably wasn't the smartest idea, as all I thought about was what I could remember of the party until the door swung open again. A few mmore minutes of lonliness passed before the door opened. I looked up and Camille stepped in, phone pressed to her shoulder again as she made her way over to me. "Jo," she said when I looked down and continued twirling the threads mindlessly.

"What?" I asked monotonously.

"Kendall wants to speak with you," she told me happily.

I glanced back up at her, a hopeful and saddened look in my eyes. "What?" I asked again, more alert this time.

She smiled. "Kendall wants to talk to you, he's worried now," she informed me.

I sat up in bed, putting most of my weight on one of my arms. "You didn't…?" I trailed off as she handed me the phone.

"No," she answered immediately, shaking her head. If my head wasn't so screwy right now, I would have found it suspicious that she did answer so quickly. I shrugged it off. "No, he doesn't know a thing," she reassured me.

I sighed and took the phone, pressing it to my ear nervously. "Kendall?"

"Hey," he greeted calmly. I could almost hear his relieved smile through the receiver. "How are you feeling? Camille said you had a rough night," he told me.

I sniffled. "Yeah, I did," I answered weakly, seeing Camille smile out of the corner of my eye. "You don't know how happy I am to hear your voice," I added honestly.

"That bad?" he asked me.

"You have no idea," I scoffed lightly, letting the smallest of smiles show on my face. The first real one I've had since I ran into Jett at the party.

"Do you wanna tell me about it?" Kendall asked carefully, the tone in his voice dropping slightly.

I chewed my lower lip nervously and shook my head. "Not right now," I said with another sniffle.

"That's fine, you don't have to," he answered in a distraught tone, leading me to guess that he wasn't too happy with my answer. "You don't have to say anything right now," he said again.

"Alright," I sighed, nodding a little.

His tone lightened up a bit. "Just tell me one thing, though…"

"Okay…?" I said, almost beginning to worry about his question.

"Were any of the guys that hit on you at the party hotter than me?" he asked cheekily.

I smirked. "You wish," I responded, snickering lightly. The smile on Camille's face grew even wider hearing me laugh. And I could tell that Kendall was feeling relieved and liked the sound as well. He laughed a little back and spoke again.

"Damn straight."

We talked for another brief minute or so. Camille saw that I was evidently feeling better and went to her side of the room to clean some stuff up. We stayed on the phone with each other for another little while longer before Kendall decided that he should get off and try to get some sleep, since he had an early recording session in the morning. It was James and Carlos' fault, supposedly. Not surprising whatsoever. "Okay, I'll let you go then," I responded sadly.

"No, don't do that to me," Kendall said.

"Don't do what?" I asked him curiously.

"Don't go all sad and depressed on me again," he told me. "The last thing I need is to lose sleep worrying about you all night," he added.

"Then don't," I said. "You're gonna be busy all day tomorrow at the studio, don't even think about tonight," I persisted.

"How can I not when you're so upset right now?" he asked. I was about to answer, but he beat me to it. "Look, I really have to go right now," he spoke, sounding more stressed than any other time I spoke to him. "I'll call you tomorrow night when Carlos and I get back home, alright?" he suggested. He and Carlos were roommates in one of the apartments that they had spoken about on E! a while ago.

I smiled. "Okay," I replied.

"I mean, you can call me up to if something bad happens, you know that too, right?" he rambled lightly. "I'd prefer to make you feel better anyway than listen to Gustavo curse us out every five seconds," he added, ending with a laugh.

I giggled back lightly. "I will if I really need it. I'm not gonna interrupt you guys and make anything worse for you," I said.

"Don't worry about that, okay?" Kendall said reassuringly. "Call any time, any hour, you need me, and I'll pick up no matter what," he insisted.

"You're the best boyfriend ever, you know that?" I asked him, smiling as I sniffled again.

"Just trying to make you feel better," he told me. "Love you."

I smiled again. We had never actually said that we loved each other, but we ended any phone call or video conversation like that. Hearing him say it again instantly made me feel so much better, as if just talking to him wasn't enough. "Love you, too, Kendall," I responded.

We said our goodbyes and hung up. Camille stepped over a second later, sitting on my bed with a tired look in her eyes. "What did he say?" she asked.

"Just that he was there if he needed me and to call him whenever something came up," I answered vaguely.

She nodded. "You know, he really was worried about you when I was talking to him, earlier," she told me. "I mean, he could hear you crying in the background and everything. I swore, he probably was beginning to think that you did get beat up or something," she continued. I ducked my head at this, making her shake her head. "Wait, no, forget I said anything, I'm sorry," she started to go off in a frantic voice, thinking it would stir up a flashback or something, I guessed.

I shook my head and picked it back up. "Don't be, it's okay," I said. "I mean, I have to face it headfirst at some point, right?"

Camille smiled brightly. "There you go. You're definitely feeling better now," she said optimistically. I nodded as she got up from the bed, only to kneel down and search for one of the storage boxes I had under my bed. "Here," she said, tossing me a blue tank top and pair of pajama pants. "Why don't you change into these and wash up quickly, you'll feel more comfortable, then," she suggested as she stood back up.

I nodded again. "That's not a bad idea," I agreed, slowly sliding off of the bed and grabbing my clothes. When I was standing up, I wrapped my arms around Camille and hugged her tight, sniffling a little when she hugged me back. "Thanks so much, Cam. You're the best," I told her in gratitude.

"Anytime, Jo."

There you have it! What do you think, kinda seems like Camille was the one who told Kendall what happened. Doesn't it? We'll find out as this progresses...

Please review and send me your feedback. I'd really appreciate it! And also be sure to check out (or re-read) "Whoever She Is" when you get the chance. It's long, like 12,000+ words, but its definitely worth the read, if i do say so for myself. And, even better, there's some more Jett-bashing in it :D Gotta love that.

PEACE!
-Megs