Author's Note: hey so, really long hiatus, huh? I hate me too, don't worry. Please just enjoy this as much as you can =)
Disclaimer: do I own Harry Potter? Lord, it would be nice. But I don't. Waaah.
Still So Close to You
by darkwing731
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((-Chapter Twenty One-))
The Beginning of the End
"Rose Sanders!" Hermione yelled, and after a moment, the Slytherin girl turned and glared at her.
"You've made me lose my appetite, Mudblood," Rose sighed, pushing aware her food.
"If you ever thought that I was in trouble for being who I am," Hermione accused stoutly, "then think again, Rose. I know you're little secret, and all about you and your mum. How did she enjoy plucking hairs from her head every few hours?" Rose blanched, and she looked shocked.
"That's right. I'll see you at school." Hermione watched in satisfaction as Rose, or better yet, Pansy Parkinson, paler than a ghost, looked around for some sort of support, found none, and got up from the bench.
"This is far from over!" Pansy screamed, but despite her threat she turned and ran from the safety of the great hall.
Revenge was never sweeter.
Pansy's swift footsteps echoed off the corridor walls, reminding her of her own hammering heart. There was no one in her path to question her sprint, or the terrified look on her face, or the way she heaved for breath.
"Eternam," Pansy panted as she finally came to rest in front of the Slytherin entryway. Everything that was comforting about the Slytherin common rooms—the slimy walls, and dank, musty air, and the sleek couches—were ignored as Pansy hastily scrambled towards the dormitories. She pushed past the regular doors, even those to her own bedroom.
At the top of the staircase was the stone wall, beckoning her to smash her own head due to foolishness rather than inviting her through. "Basilicus," she murmured; Lucius' private dormitories were revealed, and Pansy pushed her way through without a second thought.
"Why are you back so soon?" It was not Pansy who spoke this, but the facsimile of her—rather, the original, for Pansy was disguised. Pansy's throat released a growl as she stamped around, Rose Sanders watching her carefully from the bed.
"I don't know how, and I don't know when, but the Mudblood knows. She just ran up to me in the Great Hall! As if she had nothing to fear, nothing to lose!" Pansy stammered. "This puts everything in jeopardy!"
"Hush," Rose said quietly, but Pansy ignored her, pacing the room with bulging, fearful eyes.
"Now that she knows, she'll surely go to that crackpot fool Dumbledore, and—"
"Pansy, please—"
"That will spill over into my own time, and this damn mission will never be accomplished!"
"Stop it!" Rose interrupted her, finally standing up. Approaching Pansy with an easy coolness, she guided the girl to sit down on the bed and relax for a moment. "Now, this is easily taken care of."
"How?"
"You simply must stay in the dormitories at all costs. I can bring you food, and you will stay out of sight. They can do nothing against you if you are never seen."
"But what if—"
"There are no 'but ifs'. This will be handled easily, I promise." The identical girls looked at each other, one fearfully and anxiously, while the other collected a calm smirk upon her face. It was in that moment that the door handled turned, and the rightful owner of the private chambers stepped in.
"What, exactly, just happened?" Lucius asked in a silky voice, but both girls could see the fury in his eyes. "Do you understand the weight of the situation now? How can you just be sitting in here, like lame ducks, while surely that Mudblood has already begun her plan to take us down while we are weak?"
"If she can't see Pansy, there is no plan," Rose shot back, narrowing her eyes against his own fierce look. "I'm going to have it arranged so Pansy will never have to leave the privacy of the Slytherin—"
"Fool!" Lucius snarled. "Whatever means they used to discover this will be used against to find Pansy in here!"
"That leaves us with only one option, then," Rose said quietly. Lucius and Rose turned their eyes to Pansy, who was still trying to quell her own anxiety. She looked between the two Slytherins, shaking her head in denial.
"You can't send me back!"
"And risk everything that we have gained so far?" Lucius roared at her. "How dare you be so selfish!"
"We cannot jeopardize this mission. The Dark Lord will be most displeased if anything else goes wrong," Rose murmured, putting a hand regretfully on Pansy's, who ripped her hand away angrily.
"This will destroy my future with the Dark Lord," Pansy seethed. "Let me stay and somehow prove her wrong!"
"No," Lucius spat. "You'll be gone by midnight. We can't host this sort of danger. Granger has so many allies now, and we know they are not complete imbeciles. Whether or not the Mudblood has the nerve to reveal you, the rest of her little Gryffindor gang will do so in a heartbeat. You must go."
Pansy's shoulders hunched in defeat at this, although there was still a spiteful glint in her eyes. "I will get her back for this. I don't care when, but I will." Rose touched her shoulder, and in her eyes there was also a spiteful glint.
"I have a plan."
-x-x-x-
"She's probably crying."
"No, she's probably the new Moaning Myrtle!"
"Moaning Rose?"
"No, no. That doesn't flow. How about Retching Rose?"
"Wait. Isn't her name Pansy?"
"Puking Pansy, that's it!"
Lily and Hermione shared a sideways look at each other as James and Sirius excitedly discussed the state of being Pansy Parkinson could possibly be in.
"But why is she puking?"
"Because . . ."
"Because. . . .?"
"Because!" Sirius finished resolutely. "She doesn't need a reason. Just leave her alone!"
"Oh no, I want to know why she's puking," James argued devilishly, grinning.
"She just is!" Sirius stated heatedly, before letting off a feigned sigh of aggravation that sounded suspiciously feminine.
The group was back at the Gryffindor common rooms, although the clear blue skies beckoned them outside. The confrontation of Pansy had only happened hours ago, but the triumph Hermione felt made it seem like days. She and Lily were working on a study list for the upcoming exams (which was more out of habit for Hermione rather than necessity), but the mind of Hermione Granger kept drifting. Not pleasantly, but not unpleasantly either.
What will Pansy do? There's no possible way she can stay in the castle, although it is impossible for her to leave without being noticed.
Should I tell Dumbledore? The obvious answer is yes. But then, by adding more to my revenge, surely they'll have a way of getting back; their ranks were not completely destroyed by the expulsion, but harmed enough, I'm sure. What could they do to get back at me?
"Knut for your thoughts?" Remus had finally arrived, smiling easily at Hermione as he sank into the couch next to her.
"Just thinking about the next plan of attack," she responded, touching his hair with a rush of affection.
"Why more attack?" This question was a serious one. "You've hit their weak spot, there's nothing left to do. They'll leave you alone for sure."
"I wish that was true, Remus," Hermione murmured. "But Pansy was never one to lie back and take a hit. Even if she doesn't do it herself, she'll get back at me."
"I think you're over thinking this," Remus said gently. Hermione shrugged.
"Isn't it better to be over prepared than to be completely oblivious?"
It was almost as if the Slytherins were listening and agreeing with Hermione's claim, for in the next instant an owl swooped into the room, dropping something onto her lap. Remus gaped at it, while Hermione cautiously picked it up. Lily leaned in from her work to eye it suspiciously as well.
"What is it?" James and Sirius had finally broken out of their boyish mode and appeared genuinely concerned. They all watched as Hermione slowly opened the parchment, reading over her shoulder. It simply read: You may have protection, but you are not the weakest link anymore.
"What does that mean—oh!" The parchment suddenly burst into flames, singeing Hermione's fingers and catching everyone by surprise.
"You are not the weakest link anymore'," Lily repeated. "If you aren't, then who is?"
Suddenly it all made sense. This is what Dumbledore warned me about, this is what I've been waiting to happen for months now. Why didn't I think of protecting him before?
Swallowing the trepidation rising within her, Hermione whispered, "Where's Peter?"
-x-x-x-
After scouring the Marauder's Map for fifteen minutes, they located Peter Pettigrew in the back of the library. Lily released a sigh of relief; "studying!" she assured them. However, it was James' finger that pointed to the others who were in the library.
"Emma," Sirius said grimly. "Wormtail is in trouble!"
"We don't know that for sure; I mean, Emma isn't even near Peter. She's on the other side of the library," Lily reasoned.
"Lily's right," Remus agreed.
"We should still get him out of there, though. Just in case Emma decides to pull a fast one!" James said. The five of them started out towards the library, concocting stories that might lure Peter into staying with his rightful group.
Entering quietly and with caution, the five of them snuck behind the bookshelves and looked for Peter. It was Sirius who found him first, and who promptly latched himself onto the small boy.
"Petey! We've been looking all over for you!" Sirius said cheerfully. Peter looked uncomfortable at Sirius' words, and tried to hide behind the stacks of books and parchment he had around him.
"I'm busy right now, Sirius," Peter said quietly. Lily arrived next, pushing Sirius out of the chair with as much grace as she could, and a feigned smile plastered on her face.
"What are you studying, Peter? Maybe I could help you!" Lily suggested, but Peter seemed to shrink under Lily's gaze and simply said, "I've got it under control, thanks."
James was next; "Firewhiskey, Wormtail?" Peter shook his head while Lily smacked her boyfriend.
At last, Remus and Hermione showed up. Remus pulled a bar of chocolate out of his pocket and handed it to Peter, who looked grateful for something to eat. Almost as if there was no one around, Hermione sat down next to Peter and touched his arm.
"What you have been going through recently has been a terrible thing, Peter. I'm sorry that we disregarded your feelings while everything was in a hype, because your situation is more dire and tender than anyone else's. I want to help you," she said softly.
After a tense moment where Peter looked distrustfully into Hermione's gentle, welcoming eyes, he promptly burst into tears and threw himself into her open arms. Hermione held him, while James and Sirius argued in whispered voices that their plans would have been more effective if Peter had been in his right state of mind. Remus and Lily just exchanged a worried and exhausted look, and joined Hermione as she rubbed Peter's back in an effort to make him feel better.
In a few minutes, Peter calmed down; he wiped his face on his robes, looking red-faced and embarrassed that he had cried in front of all of them. They assured him it was alright, asking if they could do anything to make him feel better. Peter flushed under the simultaneous attention, feeling torn and rushed. Hermione touched his arm again and offered to take him to the kitchens to get something to eat, because he looked pale.
It was the only thing he heard out of all the noise between his friends; he nodded, and Hermione smiled. "I think this venture is best left between us," she suggested to the group. Peter shied away from their protests, but Hermione shook her head.
"That sounds like a lovely plan," Remus said, stepping in line next to Hermione. "Why don't you come back and get the cloak though, just in case there are Slytherins?" The girl looked to Peter, who nodded.
"Just in case," he agreed quietly.
When the cloak had finally been acquired, the group settled back into their normal activities; Lily was studying, James and Sirius were poking fun at each other, and Remus was reading. Before Hermione and Peter left, however, Remus kissed her swiftly on the cheek.
"I hope you don't mind, but I'll be watching the Map at all times. And I will probably be lurking a floor above you . . . just in case," he added with a wink. Hermione grinned at him before leaving.
The trip down to the kitchens was a rather silent one, although the tension was heavy between them; Hermione wasn't sure to go about asking questions, and Peter was trying to shut himself down before she opened him up again. Yet, the two continued on towards the kitchen, huddled together beneath the Cloak, passing no one. The corridors were eerily silent, and if Hermione's mind wasn't preoccupied with what to say to Peter, she would have been nervous.
Finally, upon arrival, Peter was bombarded by House Elves who caught onto his paleness; they presented an array of food to help cheer (and fill) him up, and would not allow him to sit without trying at least everything.
"I'm glad you're eating, you looked very pale," Hermione said at last. Peter gave her a small smile, before grabbing a turkey leg.
"Things are just hard. You know, with the exams, and my m-mother," Peter informed her, trying to maintain his composure.
"When is her burial?" Hermione asked cautiously; "I'm sure Dumbledore will let you—"
"Her body wasn't found." This was said with such stiffness Hermione thought the poor boy might snap in two. "They—they said that it was an accident, and that the wreckage was too great to find her body . . . so many others died with her, I just . . ."
Once again, Hermione touched his arm and this seemed to soothe him; he was slowly approaching his breaking point, but her touched pulled him back to reality, and he was able to hold it together.
"My mother hates Muggles, so there's no reason why she should've been on the London Underground." Hermione's eye widened: she remembered the stories from her parents who had lost a friend to the great disaster many years ago. A terrorist bombing, they had called it. But I hadn't realized . . .
"Oh, Peter, I'm so sorry," Hermione whispered, doe eyed with fear. Peter stared across the room, his jaw taut and quivering.
"They must've—must've used the Imperious Curse on her, to make her get onto the tube. The Muggles did their body counts, but so many others could not be identified and had been lost that it was impossible to find her . . ."
Hermione's mind was racing. If there were so many Muggles, and Peter's mother was on the London Underground, so many things could have happened. There might have been a chance that she escaped, or had been captured, or—
"Peter," began Hermione slowly, "Don't you think there's a chance that—"
"Someone sent me a piece of her wand. It had blood on it." Horrified, Hermione clapped a hand to her mouth.
"Who would—"
"And they sent a letter with it too," Peter uttered, now looking glassy eyed.
"Where is the letter now?"
"Just after I managed to read it, it began to burn. All by itself. Like in those self-destruct Muggle's movies Lily always showed us." Just like my letter, Hermione thought.
"What did it say?" she asked, her body tensed before she could ask the question. Did she really want to know the scarring words that had been haunting Peter for the last few weeks?
Peter turned away from her, his body hunched and trembling. "I can't—I can't—"
"Please," she urged. "Nothing bad will happen if you tell me, I promise. I won't say anything."
"I can't," he croaked. She touched his shoulder, but instead of warming to her like he had been, he pulled away from her. He stood up, back still to her, and moved away.
"Peter, please, I want to help you!" Hermione begged, going after him. Peter darted away from her, and out of the kitchens, his sobs echoing off the lonely corridor walls.
Standing in the empty kitchen, Hermione looked around and heaved a great sigh, wondering if anything would ever be accomplished with Peter.
What use do they have with Peter? Hermione mused, cupping her forehead in her hands. He knows what they know, and they already know what he knows about me. There is nothing about him that is of any use . . . not yet, anyway.
But perhaps these things are not being done to have an instant effect . . . just as Dumbledore said, by pulling the group apart at the weakest link, it makes us all weak in the end.
Maybe Voldemort is getting a head start? But has Harry's prophecy even been made yet? No, surely not . . . so how can he know? Perhaps Voldemort recognizes that he must infiltrate the Order of the Phoenix, but cannot do so directly . . .
Hermione could just imagine the possibilities with that idea, however gruesome they were. As she remembered her fifth year, when Harry was so tormented by simply dreams and nightmares, it appeared that getting Peter to crack would be easy if he was still under pressure and incredibly sensitive.
One thing was for sure, however; Hermione knew that, no matter what, Peter was going to betray them all. She could not stop him from doing it, but the very least she could do was make him feel guilty about it.
-x-x-x-
It was June. The sky was a calming blue, stretching out above them like a tired but beautiful canvas. The Great Lake glistened under the constant sun, the squid sun bathing in the shallows while the envious students stayed cooped up, hiding behind text books and book shelves, wand movements and essays, and memorized charms, ingredients, instructions, and so much more.
"This is unbearable," Sirius heaved, throwing a hand upon his forehead. With a loud huff, he turned to look out the window.
"Padfoot, you'll never get out of Hogwarts if you don't study," Peter chided him. Behind her book, Hermione smiled; their conversation in the kitchen may not have reaped wonderful results, but it did bring Peter back into the group at least.
"Peter is right, Sirius," Lily agreed, her quill racing across her parchment. As she began a new line, ink splattered her nose, unbeknownst to her. Sirius giggled.
"We have this one last day to study, and then you won't have to worry about anything else. I promise," James said. Lily's boyfriend was being quite diligent himself, working just as fast as Lily was. For once, his title as Head Boy really seemed to suit him.
"But I don't wanna," Sirius whined.
"Now, now!" Remus said, shaking a finger at him. "You must do your work, Sirius."
"No!" Sirius pouted, crossing his arms and sticking his nose in the air.
"Sirius, yes."
"No!"
"Sirius!"
"No!"
"Sirius?" It was Hermione this time.
"Yes?" he answered excitedly. She grinned.
"You said yes! Do your work!"
"No!"
The Marauder's laughed at their friend's lack of assiduousness, and continued on with their own work. Sirius huffed some more, making more noise was necessary. "I'm bored," he announced. No one seemed to notice his, and for his he released a dramatic, loud sigh. "SO BORED," he said again.
Upset at the lack of attention, Sirius muttered to himself and dug around in his bag to look for something to do. There, he found the Marauder's Map' unfolding it, he looked around, giving a loud sigh every so often to remind his friends how bored he was.
And then he saw Pansy Parkinson blinking on the map.
"Hermione," Sirius said slowly. "Pansy is blinking again."
This instantly gained the attention of everyone, but none more so than Hermione, who took the map from Sirius at once. She inspected Pansy's movements closely, and saw the adjacent dots were Lucius and Rose.
Why does it blink? Hermione mused. Perhaps she is time travelling, that's the only way she can even explain her presence here anyway.
"Look!" The three dots were headed out of their dormitory, and down the corridor. More and more people began to join them until it seemed that—
"Illimni. They're having another meeting," Hermione said at once.
"Can we go spy on them?" Sirius suggested.
"I have a better idea. Let's set Dumbledore on them. Or a professor. We can't keep running headfirst into these things," she said wisely. They all agreed to go to the Headmaster, when suddenly they were interrupted. An owl swooped into the common room and dropped something into Hermione's hands.
Hermione looked to Remus anxiously, who squeezed her shoulder. Slowly, she opened the letter.
I know you're watching me. This is your last chance before the inevitable happens.
Just like before, moments after Hermione had finished reading it, the parchment began to curl and hiss into flames. Peter's jaw dropped with an audible gasp.
"What should we do?" Hermione whispered.
"We're all going this time," Remus said firmly.
"But why would she just invite you down there?" Lily asked suspiciously.
"Because . . . " But Hermione's mind could not come up with a solution. What could they want with her? What could Pansy have to tell her that Hermione didn't already know?
"What about Dumbledore?"
"They wouldn't invite you to a killing spree, Hermione. I think we'll be alright this time. If all of us are going, and it's in this empty classroom they're all headed for, it's okay. We're close enough to Hull's office she'll hear any commotion," Remus soothed her.
"But if Hull is so close, why don't we just have her sneak into the meeting?"
The Marauder's exchanged looks. "Do you really want her getting involved in this?"
-x-x-x-
Treading the last corner with a great deal of caution, the Marauder's, Lily and Hermione entered the empty classroom that the Illimni seemed to be gathered in. It was quiet as the Gryffindors stepped in, although the air was tense and thick with hatred.
Girls sat and stood, glaring at Hermione as they filed in. There was a noticeable lack of members, however, which pleased Hermione immensely; the expulsion had at least done them some good.
Pansy stepped out from the crowd, a sneer on her face that had always seemed permanent. Narcissa, Rose, and Emma were just behind her.
"What do you want me here for?" Hermione finally said in a hard, clear voice.
"I just want you to know something before I leave here, Granger," Pansy said, her voice sickeningly sweet. She began to walk towards Hermione and speak very quietly. Remus squeezed her shoulder once again, although Hermione's heart began to hammer in her ears.
"All of this will be left behind. No one will remember you, or me, or any of this. No one can save you, and you can't prove that any of this happened. It doesn't matter that you have friends here, or things happened that you didn't enjoy, or even that you have a relationship with your filthy little werewolf," Pansy hissed, eyes narrowed.
"You say that like you have some control over the situation," Hermione countered. "Who are you to say what my future will be?" Pansy threw back her head and shrieked with laughter.
"You think you can carry on a relationship with a Professor? Do you really think you can go and tell Potty and Weasel that you befriended his parents?" Pansy's laughter turned into a cackle as Hermione's face began to empty of color.
"You can make all the peace you want, and you can get all the revenge on me, and on the Illimni, and on Lucius that you want. But do you think anyone will believe you?"
The world was spinning beneath her feet, and nausea crept up her throat; eyes opened or closed, it didn't matter—everything was spiraling away from Hermione as soon as she reached out to grab it. Everything that she cherished was stolen, smashed to pieces without warning—
"I will believe her. It won't matter how old I am!" Sirius shouted.
"And I'll be there," said James fiercely.
"And so will I," Lily added intensely.
Hermione didn't dare look over her shoulder to acknowledge these promises. Her eyes were locked with Pansy's, who had a triumphant sneer upon her face.
Lily and James would be dead.
Peter with be with the Dark Lord.
Sirius would have been alive to support her, but by the time she got back . . . he would also be dead.
And Remus . . .
"I won't ever leave you, Hermione," Remus promised in a growl, holding onto her even tighter.
Pansy's grin was sickening.
Then, without any words spoken, the Illimni began to file out of the room, one by one, until only Pansy, Rose, and Emma were left. It was then that Lucius entered the room; the Marauder's instinctively pulled Hermione behind them, but nothing would tear the dark, smug faces out of her mind as the Slytherins left.
Pansy was right . . . I will be all alone.
-x-x-x-
"So, that's it, huh?" Lily asked.
It was midnight, and the two girls were lying in bed, but neither one could sleep. If they listened quietly, they could hear their boyfriends snoring.
"I hope so," Hermione said quietly.
"It just seems strange . . . it was almost as if they didn't even put up a fight. After everything that happened?"
"I know," Hermione agreed absently.
Earlier, Hermione had watched Pansy's dot blink until it gradually faded away, and she was gone entirely. Back to 1998, where she belonged. Hermione didn't know whether to feel jealous or pleased; jealous because Hermione wanted her actions to be that simple, or pleased because Pansy was finally out of her hair.
Whichever feeling she felt, it didn't matter. Everything Pansy said was right, 100% absolutely correct. It was a feeling that clawed the inside of Hermione's chest, scratching and chipping away at her core until she felt like she could no longer breathe, let alone feel properly.
She tried to hold on to all of these pleasant memories she had just recently developed, but they were being ripped away regardless. Ripped away from Hermione just as she soon would be from the Marauder's and Lily. Ripped away from this new home and safety.
"I'll be right back," Hermione murmured. She pushed off her covers and walked blindly out of her dormitory.
I don't have much time left . . .
Cold feet directed her robotically down the stairs and into the boys' dormitory where Remus was sleeping.
I could be taken away, back home, in any instant . . .
Her fingers guided her through the blackness, and sought out the familiarity of Remus' sleeping body.
I will have so many regrets, so many things left to say . . .
"Remus," Hermione whispered, shaking him.
I have to say goodbye as soon as I can, just in case, so that at least I will have these memories . .
Her boyfriend groaned and turned over. Rubbing his eyes, he gave her a weary smile before moving over to one side of bed and offering her what was left for room.
I cannot let my love go unexpressed any longer . . . because it will be torn away . . . he will be torn away . . .
Hermione did not climb into bed, but instead, silently began to unbutton her pajamas.
"Hermione, what-?"
"I love you," she whispered, and the bulk of her clothes hit the floor with a soft thud. Remus sat up, wide eyed, staring into her eyes.
"What are you doing?" he murmured.
"Please," was all she could say.
Feeling around, Remus snatched his wand from the bedside table, and proceeding to put silencing charms on his bed hangings. When he was done, he swallowed the nervous lump in his throat and invited Hermione to lay beside him. Pulling the curtains around his bed, he was wide awake with the fear of getting caught, but also with the adrenaline that was pumping through him.
"Why now?" he asked her quietly.
"Because I don't know when I'll be sent home. And things are so complicated in the future, you would share this with me then. In whatever time we have, please, can we . . ."
Remus hushed her with a gentle finger to her lips. His hand found its way to her cheek, his mouth to his lips, and his body to hers.
That night, it was if nothing else mattered, and no other love existed but their own.
-
-x-x-x-
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Author's note: well, hopefully I will pump out the last couple chapters this week. I really have no life right now, so it will be awesomeeeee. Sorry for like, a couple years worth of wait =)
Please review!